Apparently, MOTU WILL have a sequel despite less than optimal bix office numbers

 According to Forbes. Bsically the same old song about the movie flopping, how it didn't capture audiences, yet the movie getting great audience scores...

But Amazon is interested in pushing people to Prime and there, thanks to the good word of mouth is where MOTU can recoup what it doesn't make on theaters. 

But sequel is a good thing... it needs to be available on theaters because direct to streaming movies don't make the best numbers.

We needs this...

Odds and ends August 5th 2025: She-Ra, Tom Holland, Resident Evil

Looks like Tom Holland didn't quit Spider-Man... as some nasty rumors stated.

Dammit! The only time I can agree with Joe Quesada and I was robbed! Having Tom and Zendaya trade their love to revive Marissa Tomei by making a deal with Borat would have been ridiculous and awesome at the same time.

Also, newer Spider-Man suit 

Walmart actually shipped my New Etheria She-Ra. The one item available everywhere gets shipped, but the Walmart Exclusive gets canceled.

You know what's bullshit?
Having a successful pre-order then getting an item canceled just to see Scalpers doing this shit.

Parlando di cose stupide. Guess who's got some new weird ads stalking Leon Scott Kennedy?

Si haz dicho el búho verde, haz adivinado.

Yes, Duolingo has a thing with Resident Evil or something.

What the actual fuck? Can't wait to see the goddess put this in Resident Evil 2 Remake.

If Duolingo helps Leon practices Spanish.Then Resident Evil 4 will be a cakewalk for him.

Damn, Mattel REALLY WANTS MY MONEY

 But no Glimmer.

Thanks to Jeremy DeWitt for compiling these.

That's Mattel's 200X Oranges Cartoon Collection.

Super7 needs to pull out a Miracle to keep me in the loop.

I'm seriously considering quitting some lines in order to get these. Marvel Legends, once my Gargantos arrives, you're out.

NECA hasn't become impossible to get, so get out! Unless you drop Pizzaface.

New Etheria Mantenna is fucking A! There's also a bitchin'Mossman, an OK Mosquitor, a weird Dragstor, and a Keldor.

It's not Glimmer, but it's still sexy as fuck! I can see Cade getting behind this and doing unmentionable things.

Wait is that Despara?

Damn right!

Get her Nefty, I need her almost as much as April!!

I thought you were a Glimmer Man like Steven Seagal and Me!

Oranges Grayskull 2.0... $125+ shipping and

Tariffs. It includes the Mark Taylor placemat that never made it before.

SDCC hasn't started and

Thanks, Ashley.

Update:

The 200X MOTU are apparently in 6 inch scale... time to take out the 200X Castle Grayskull then.

Funko wants my money

 I have a love/hate  Relationship with phone call pops. I've gotten some random pops in physical stores and the internet.

Like I've got Spider-Man Ben Reilly, Doc Ock David Hasselhoff twice, a Bob Ross, Ryu, Ken, and some random MOTU pops... among others.

Well look at the Pic and guess which Pop I want.

Hopefully this won't be like Todd. McFarlane and his evil pre-order said they sell out in seconds. I've literally missed out on the last 3 preorders he's had. 

Where are the Shenmue: the Animation Funko Pops?

Advent Calendar 3: wait... this feels familiar.

 Is this some Scrooge bullshit of reliving past reviews present reviews and future reviews, because I ain't down with that. But I'm reviewing Evil Lyn... The Masterverse 1987 Movie Evil Lyn.

It's Evil Lyn, but 1987 movie version... she just stood around and stuff. 

Articulation:

She has less articulation than a Masterverse female figure. Due to the breastplate she loses the underboob articulation. Her plastic skirt blocks leg articulation. Her epaulets block shoulder articulation. Basically all she can do is stand around and look pretty.

3.5

"How can I fuck Kevin Sorbo's day today?"

Paint and sculpt:

The sculpting on the face does not look like Meg Foster. It's a lot better than the not Dolph Lundgren look from the masterverse movie He-Man. You can see a bit of likeness to the actress but not enough for her to raise issues about her likeness being used without permission. The rest of the body vaguely resembles the movie outfit it's just that the plastic used for the metallic armor looks rather off. Also it's a shame that Mattel went very heavy on the printed details throughout the body.

3.5

Skeletor: "Evil Lyn, there's something weird going on with the cosmic key... it's all shimmering and smells like tuna... What in Entrapta's bald cunt is going on here?"
Andra: "My Little Pony, My Little Pony, what is Friendship with benefits all about?"
She-Ra: "I will not let you die of blue balls, my brother... for the semen of Grayskull, I'll save my brother..."
Faker: "Yes... She-Ra... save... your... Brother... from... the Blue Balls..."
Teela: "Your cock is not that impressive, He-Vil-Lyn! Gwildor's is much bigger than yours!"
Evil Lyn: "Doesn't matter I still made you cum."
Skeletor: "I missed out on an orgy again... myah!"

Accessories:

Alternate hands

Comic Key Hologram

I understand the cosmic key hologram being a movie accurate accessory but at the same time she comes with nothing else. They could have added something more to her even if it wasn't the original movie, it could have been considered movie inspired like say taking the scepter that the original toy came with and taking cues from her design and make a new version for her.

2.5

Teela: "Finally! We can come to a party without wearing the same dress!"
Evil Lyn: Did you forget the time you went Blonde and ran around in your underwear?"
Teela: Do I need to remind you that you copied that look recently, when you got roided out, He-Vil-Lyn?"

Overall:

Movie Evil Lyn gets a 3.17 as her final score. They tried but they're at them weren't enough to push her from a mediocre release to a good one. The saddest part is that if Mattel had bothered to make this figure a deluxe release and invest of it more, it would have been a great figure. Sadly, Mattel quarter-asses things and ends up in mediocrity at times. This is one of those 

Hordak: "If it isn't *snort* the
Eternian Cersei and Jamie."
She-Ra: "It was Faker and it was ONE time!"
He-Man: "Wait, you fucked Faker thinking it was me!?
Etherian culture is weird."

You remember the Hordak I've taken my sweet ass time to not review, well... this is why:

Evil ruler of the Evil Horde, Adora's evil adoptive father, space Nazi long before Rebel Moo made them lame.

He-Man:"Have at you, space Nazi!"
She-Ra:"Space Trump, you're getting canceled tonight!"
Hordak:"The Twincest of Grayskull are calling me Trump? *snort* Who wrote this script, Kevin Smith?"

Articulation:

Standard Masterverse articulation. His Armor blocks the abdominal articulation a little bit. Everything else functions as normal even the interchangeable arms keep their articulation.

4.5

Hordak: "MEGA, Bitch! Make Etheria *snort* Great Again! I'll grab your Yuuuuuuuuge Pussy right after I blow *snort* my load all over your *snort* brother!"
He-Man: "Bring it on, Captain Toad!"

Paint and sculpt:

Hordak looks like he's inspired by his Filmation counterpart. It's not entirely accurate but it's serviceable. He also has elements inspired by the vintage toy. This means that you could mix and match based on your preferences and have a somewhat toy inspired look versus a cartoon inspired look. 

4.5

Hordak:"Now, I'll *snort* blow you to smithereens!"
He-Man:"Let's go Brandon!"
Hordak: "what did you say!?"

Accessories:

Altenrate hands

Alternate robotic arm

Pincer for robotic arm

Blast effect

Bat shield

Crossbow

Mossman: "Moss Brandon here to kick ass and eat Ice Cream... seems like Trumpdak ate all the Ice Cream, but I can beat him in my sleep, cause I'm Sleepy Moss... Seriously, is Kevin Smith writing our scripts now!?"
Hordak: "What bullshit is this!? I thought you retired!?"
Mossman: "Jokes that will be dated before this review comes out is how we are hip. Let's Pokémon go to the polls and all that!"

Like with most Deluxe releases, I don't feel so much deluxement coming out of him since all he has is basic accessories. The alternate look is removing a soft goods cape.

4.0

This was some clever engineering for Hordak.

Overall: 

Hordak gets a 4.33 as his final score. The main issue here is Mattel giving less for more. This is why I'm not super involved with this toy line. Aside it being a bitch to find offline and when I find a figure at retail it's full of QC defects... or I already own it.

Masterverse Bow and Glimmer: a rant

 No official announcement for any of these... sad! But here's what I'd like to see in a Theoretical Masterverse Bow and Glimmer:

Bow: (deluxe figure)

Taking cues from MOTUC reusing parts from GP He-Man but with a new crotch, and new left bracer

Armors:

One based on Filmation.

One based on the Vintage toy's full torso armor.

Both with removable cape.

Accessories:

4 extra hands (fists, archery hands)

Bow

Quiver with removable arrows

Arrows (4 each with a different tip based on playing cards ♤♡◇♧)

Glimmer:

She'd be based on her Filmation look but have some extras:

Alternate vintage Toy based head with different tiara and curly hair

Alternate hands

Accessories

Staff

Light effect for her staff.

As a Bonus, I'll do Adora: (deluxe)

Basically, Filmation Adora with a few extras:

-Alternate head based on the Netflix Bastardization.

-Soft goods robe based on her disguise from SotS.

-Broken Despara Mask (hinting at a Masterverse Despara release)

-Vintage inspired sword of protection 

Obviously she gets a pair of extra hands and Filmation Sword of protection.

Despara: (Deluxe)

Basically Despara with a Cloth cape.

Extras:

"Flimationized" Despara head. Basically the Despara mask looking more like the Deluxe Blue Hordak we got in Masterverse.

"Netflix Adora" head with the goth Despara makeup.

Accessories:

Alt. Unmasled Despara head

Alt. Hands

Soft goods cape

Twin swords

There you go, that's how I'd do Bow and Glimmer... with both adora variants for fun.

My top wanted Masterverse figures:

 While I'm not a huge fan of Masterverse, since I find them inferior to Classics, I have a few figures and right now Whiplash and Adam are sitting in my Pile of Loot at BBTS. So, let's do a small list:

Adora

We have She-Ra, we need her Secret Identity.

Glimmer

Did this want surprise anyone? I hope not, because everyone here should already know that I simp hard for classic Glimmer.

Deluxe Bow with Kowl

Friendzone Lord Bow is all I need to have my core rebels.

Mantenna

We needs more core Horde and he's a fan favorite.

Scorpia

Because freaky scorpion lady looks cool.

New Eternia Evil Lyn

We need an Evil Lyn that isn't tied to Kevin Smith's Bastardization of He-Man. I just want a classic looking Evil Lyn.

New Eternia Hordak

Hordak had some strange concepts before becoming the Hordak we know and loathe. They could combine elements from multiple concepts to deliver a deluxe Hordak.

New Eternia Fisto

I would use elements from both 200X AND vintage mini comics to spice up this Fisto. Some new things would be added as well. Here's my take:

Long haired mini comics head with 200X circlet.

Alt. Head with 200X circlet and short hair

2 sets of torso armor:

-one "vintage inspired"

- new with sculpted harness to hold his large sword.

Removable 200X belt

Non metal fist with alternate right hand to hold his sword. (Right forearm would have the right bracer part of his gauntlet sculpted in)

Larger 2 handed version of Tri-klops blade.

Deluxe New Eternia Wun-Dar

Using the "savage He-Man" loincloth and arms on a normal Masterverse body with New Eternia He-Man boots (for the knife) and New Eternia Faker's head makes the body for Wun-Dar. The NE Zodac Armor, NE Merman (repainted in Wun-Dar colors) and combinations of pre-existing bracers like He-Man's, Tri-klops, deluxe MAA. Add New Eternia Buzz-Off's axe, zodac gun, and Tri-klops blade in Wun-Dar colors. Since the figure is 190% parts reuse and most of his accessories would be molded in black or rust brown, he should be "cheaper" to make. 

"Story" is simple: a savage scavenger who was raised by a former cosmic enformer that was wounded in the last great war. Indoctrinated in the cosmic enforcer ways, Wun-Dar became a savage hero throughout Preternia after the fall of Grayskull. He even trained some of Grayskull's champions long before Adam was entrusted with the Power of Grayskull... or something.

Revelation Marlena

You KNOW I will get her just to make Clueless and Batman and Robin references.

Revelation Randor

I asked for Marlena, I kinda need her husband. Burger King References shall be made.

New Eternia Carnivus

I won't be adding 200X variants of existing characters, but Carnivus was a nice addition from 200X. More sentient races can help expand New Eternia.

New Eternia Dactys

Like I said with Carnivus, but this Bat dude would look badass!!

New Eternia Rio Blast

Here the issue is that his proto concept, Fire Power Man was a villain, which led to the Filmation Horde Colonel Blast. Maybe olay up the Cowboy aspect a bit more for him.

New Eternia Ninjor

Here Mattel can have some more freedom with the ninja concept and eventually give us a NE Samurai.

It came from the Toy Chest: The He-Man She-Ra Masterverse power hour

 

I have a She-Ra... A real She-Ra not Nate Stevenson's Bastardization. It's the masterverse She-Ra that was a bit cheaper on ENTERTAINMENT EARTH due to her package being FUBAR... aka not Meent!

So, I got a Masterverse She-Ra... He-Man's twin sister and defender of the Crystal Castle... we need a Masterverse Adora... right now I'll even take a Nate Stevenson's Bastardization of Adora to go with Revelation Adam.

So let's begin!

He-Man: So you're the Me from another World?
She-Ra: The sword tells me that you're not simply a brother in arms, but that you are my...
He-Man: Dear Brotha! I don't understand, why does it feel so good to say Brothaaaaa! Also, I feel like rambling about Snakes and Genes... Dear Sister... You know, Sister doesn't have the same ring as BRRRROTHAAAAAA!
She-Ra: Hakuna your tatas, Dear Brother... Oh! I can see what you mean... BROTHAAAA!
He-Man: RECESSIVE GENES!!
She-Ra: Did you like my Sunglasses!
Nefty VO: ENOUGH! Go chatch some chickens if you want to keep making Cam Clarke references. At least THAT WOULD BE TIED TO ME!! DEAR BROTHA!! Great now I'm making Cam Clarke references.

Articulation

She-Ra is as articulated as Sarah Michelle Gellar's Bad Teela who was replaced by Melissa Benoist for the sequel to Revelation. The maind difference is that She-Ra has longer hair and it can get in the way a little bit. I do have a nitpick here... her torso articulation breaks up the flower crest on her. Instead of making a new torso that had the articulation at the waist and sacrifice the underboob cut, they chose poorly and broke her crest and it looks bad.

I know this complaint should have been on that paint and scuplt section but, the issue here is not the sculpting it's the articulation overriding the sculpting. It moves well, but it's aesthetically unpleasant.

4.5 

Paint and sculpt 

The figure looks decent. Sadly she has this mouth breathing sculpted expression. I already mentioned the armor issue, but she has an additional issue. She had painted on details that ahouldve been sculpted in her boots and bracers... but wait, there's more! Soft goods cape leeches color unto her skirt. Think we're done here? Nope! It's Chuck Testa! Her carmored crest doesn't match from the tips on her breast piece with the bottom soft plastic part of her outfit. Then let's throw in that my shield came with messed up paint from the factory...

2.0

She-Ra: The sword of protection gave me a shield?
He-Man: The sword of Power gave me an Axe...
Both: Are the swords trying to tell us something?
Nefty VO: Yeah, that Mattel is cutting corners here, there,  and everywhere!

Accessories

Extra head inspired by art from the vintage toy.

Extra soft goods cape based on Nate Stevenson's Bastardization.

2 extra hands

Sword

Shield

Not seeing the value on this being a deluxe figure.

3.0

Teela: Who's the Ho?
She-Ra: Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me? Ho?
He-Man: That's my Sister... or she was, until the whole Legal limbo involving Dreamworks.
Teela: Well, hands off my man, Dykyrie! He's mine!
She-Ra: Bro, I don't care if she's your girlfriend, but if this See You Next Tuesday keeps it up, I'm going to eviscerate her, use her intestines as a condom when I fornicate her cranium after transmogrifying my blade into a wearable phallus!
Teela: I changed my mind, she's my new Bestie!

Overall

She-Ra gets a disappointing 3.17 as her final score. It looks like they not only didn't learn from the mistakes made with MOTUC She-Ra, but decided to make new ones in addition of repeating most of them. But if Glimmer and Bow are made, you KNOW I'm getting them.

Top 20 MOTU Characters/variants who need a Masterverse figure.

 I am not a huge fan of Masterverse, but I did get a few for the Advent Calendar (I did not buy all of them though.) So, this list is just for fun and see what MOTU stuff could get the Masterverse treatment. I must point out that most of the stuff will come from characters that had toy versions in previous lines like NA, 200X, vintage, etc. Will try to keep cartoon characters as close to zero as possible.

20: Battleground Teela:

She would be a perfect candidate for New Eternia and its more Savage world. A more Traditional Teela kinda exists with the Revelation one. 

19: Mo-Larr:

I know what you're thinking: What the Hell!?

But hear me out: with a fabric dentist vest, meaning it's removable, we could have a character that could be 2 different characters as a deluxe figure... Who would fit that role? Vykron. Since tossing all 3 outfits for Vykron could be considered crazy, I thought that Mo-Larr could be Vykron's 4th persona. A derranged medic who loves pulling the teeth of his opponents. Also, Mo-Larr is the base figure for Nefty-kun.

18: Tanktop:

The Second Vykron persona, Tanktop, could use"an entire new body" to look more tank-like. Then Mattel could add some random parts for a new 5th persona for Vykron.

17: Space Ace:

The Third original Persona for Vykron, and cutting it too close to Mouse property... as stated before, he's going to need some new extras to create a 6th Persona. 

The idea with the "Vykron wave" is to create all three original versions and allow plenty of parts for customization. Not to mention that more compulsive customers will buy 2 of each... just like they did with Pope Tri-Klops and Bishop Trap Jaw. Storywise it could be 1 guy or it could be 3 dudes that scam villages of their gold by terrorizing them with a persona, then showing up as a hero with the other persona, staging a fight and collecting the reward.

16: New Eternia Rio Blast:

One of the oddities from Later waves in vintage... I'm curious on how would he work here.

15: Revelation Clamp Champ:

I may dislike Revelation, but since we got Fisto, we need his Dead Partner...

14: Mantenna:

Hordak, Catra, and Shadow Weaver are a thing. We need to fill up the ranks of the Horde.

13: Bow:

If the Horde gets padded, the Rebellion needs to do the Same. It would be interesting to see what differences this version gets from the previous one.

12:Slime Mutant:

It's a Skeletal humanoid ram creature thing... it most definitely needs an upgrade.

11: Merman:

The Revelation Naked one Eyed Merman doesn't count. I'm talking a 2 eyed armored Merman, like most of the figures have been for the past almost 40 years.

10: 200X variants:

This almost sounds like I'm cheating but hear me out. I'm not talking about making Masterverse 200x everyone, but making certain characters like say: He-Man, Skeletor, Evil-Lyn, Adam, and Teela. With Adam and Teela being shorter than normal Masterverse figures. It would also mean  certain variants like Snake Armor He-Man, or Ambrosia Skeletor being made into toys. Also, 200X Grayskull would be cool to have.

9: Queen Marlena:

It would be interesting to see Randor and Marlena in New Eternia, but I KNOW a Randor WILL make it to Masterverse... only Neitlich, despite his apparent misogyny,  had a Marlena made. Whether we get a Revelation or New Eternia version of Randor, we need a Marlena to Match.

8: King He-Man:

We KINDA GOT a King He-Man with the Battle Armor Head from the new Eternia BA He-Man. But I want the whole ridiculous outfit for King He-Man including the taped up Technosword.

7: Eternos Palace Army:

Basically the Palace Guards with different ranks and designs.

6: The Netflix Series figures with NORMAL Masterverse proportions:

Note that I'm emphasizing NORMAL MASTERVERSE Proportions and not asking for Cartoon accurate looks. The recent releases of Masterverse Netflix Series He-Man and Skeletor are a huge disappointment, since they can't be properly displayed in Masterverse because of the stylistic choices. Think of the Classicizer approach and apply it here.

5: King Hsss:

Hopefully he could be a New Eternia thing or bring the 200X Hsss to masterverse.

4: Nate Stevenson's bastardization of She-Ra:

This isn't about loving or hating that series. We ALL know where I stand here. But this is about bringing key characters on a Neo Etheria sub-theme. Of course there is a caveat:

Figures need to be in NORMAL MASTERVERSE Proportions and not in Cartoon accurate looks.

Meaning, say Fat Spinnerella, being fat but looking "realistic fat", not "CalArts fat". If these sell well, maybe Mattel could make a spin-off line compatible with the Netflix He-Man in scale.

3: Ram Man:

Whether it's Revelation or New Eternia, it's amazing that we haven't gotten a Ram Man. I kinda want to see what they're going to do for him.

2: Mega-Beast:

Since BOTH Modulok and Multibot have a Modular function, I'm putting them together, because it's better than taking 2 slots. With the Masterverse engineering, I have to wonder How Modular will they be.

1: Glimmer:

Of course I'm referring to her traditional Filmation form.

Yes, I'm well aware that I cheated on this list and made more than 20 characters/variants. At the same time I also had to tone down the amount of characters I was choosing because I found myself with nearly 30 picks. I had Wun-Dar, Slime Pit He-Man, Hydron, Flipshot, Flogg, Crita, Snake Mekaneck, Cringer... but I don't want to go crazy with Masterverse, sonce I still see it as an inferior line to MOTUC.

Odds and ends July 1st 2022: Noelle Stevenson is no more... and other stuff

 She is now Nate Stevenson and uses the pronouns he/him but hasn't said if he's going to transition like Elliot Page did when going from Ellen to Elliot. So far he's non binary. So, now She-Ra was not ruined by Noelle Stevenson... Nate did it and I need to remember this for futire articles... but hopefully we won't need to since Netflix's bastardized She-Ra seems to be as dead as the Snyderverse.

Mega Bloks Snake Mountain has been leaked...

Well, shit... I may have to get this for reasons that are totally not to appease my mother's ghost.

Capcom, don't bring back Bison for SF6... I've already ranted about this. It has been overplayed so much that is almost as funny as Dan sucking... it needs to stop. Adding him as a non-canonical character might be OK, but to have him return from the dead as the big bad, nope! Nope! Nope!

More Masterverse stuff with potential?

 Mattel revealed some upcoming Masterverse heroic figures. He-Ro who looks based on revelation... blegh! There's a Masterverse Sun-Man. It's decent for Masterverse, but Sun-Man deserved the MOTUC treatment and be sculpted by the Fourhorsemen... not Mattel's in-house team.

Apparently Ruben Martinez is being focused on Origins, despite being the new Toyguru. This leaves Masterverse mostly to Terry Higuchi, which is a good thing. The problem is that Higuchi still has to report to Ruben...

The She-Ra figure is One step forward two steps back figure...

Not going to say the fabric looks like shit but the fabric looks like shit. Thank goodness there is no rooted hair. I also see a one piece plastic skirt and we know what that meant last time they did a one piece plastic skirt...

They didn't learn from the mistakes of having a one piece plastic skirt in classics. Remember how they had to do a bubble power She-Ra to release a fix to the normal She-Ra? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Higuchi you had one job...

This is what I wanted of a NEW MOTU line. Take the vintage toys and plus them up in cool redesigns that still evoke the original. The only thing that worries me is the Tasset blocking the articulation. I'm not feeling that Old Man He-Man head though.

Mattel is desperate for my money...

 Masterverse reveals are kinda tempting...

Hordak and Catra are coming!! Very Filmation-like... hoping for a Shadow Weaver.

The Cloth Cape is not a bad idea in Theory, but the cape currently looks a bit on the crappy side. Also it seems that Catra has a rooted Ponytail... 

The photo may not make it justice, but so far it looks like an inferior copy of Classics but with better articulation. I like the bigger shield though.

Hordak seems decent, but I might have to Captain Paintbrush some details. Sadly, his cloth cape looks like Garbage. Might have to buy better fabric to make the capes... No Pleather, because that cracks easily...

I was a bit excited for Beastman when this pic showed hp. I was loving the extra armores bits... 

The one that actually showed up isn't that bad, but...

I KINDA WISH he had the extra leg armor. Supposedly, he's Skelegod sized.

Loving the new Whip, BTW.

Disappointment, thy name is Jitsu... He looks pathetic. The face is wrong, the hand looks wimpy even for Origins... the only somewhar cool thing is the Samurai mask. They need to go back and make a Jitsu with the proper goatee.

But wait, there's more disappointment coming.

Remember Scott Neitlich and hos Classicizer Machine? We were led to believe that it got an upgrade for Masterverse, hence these "New Eternia" figures looking like they fit with Revelation... also the Filmation stuff is getting Masterverse level of detail... well the machine is broken because we're getting Netflix Skeletor in Netflix proportions and not Masterverse style...

We should've gotten a PROPER Masterverse Figure with Masterverse proportions not slightly more articulated Netflix MOTU toys...

Top Masterverse wants: a theoretical list to bring me back in the fold

 As I've mentioned before, I'm not exactly a fan of Masterverse as a toyline. While the added articulation is great the Sculpts have been a bit underwhelming. But Princess of Power and Filmation COULD open the door for me to return... so let's get to the Melaktha and other figures needed to bring me into Masterverse.

Melaktha 

You know that if it's a he-man list and has access to filmation stuff he'll be there. He's The Unofficial Masters of the Universe mascot here at the house of rants.

Deluxe "Legacy" figures

Unlike the New Eternia figures that bastardize concepts to bypass the original designs, the Legacy Figures are past iterations of the characters passing through the "Masterverseizer" machine, to rip-off the douche from Sphincter Uncreative.  

For example, Legacy He-Man would have pieces to make both Vintage He-Man and 200X He-Man. He would need a new Vintage head, a new 200X head, new vintage harness. The new Origns Vintage styled sword can work on him as well as the Grayskull harness.

Legacy Beastman coyld reuse most of the Revelation figure, new bracers, new shins, new arm armor, new torso armor removable shin armor for the 200X version and 2 heads.

Legacy Tri-Klops could come with a new Mini comic armor and a more 200X Armor and head.

I'm not going to cover everyone because that would be a list up on itself.

Deluxe Shadow Weaver:

The idea is to have a Shadow Weaver that can be turned into the Light Spinner. Kinda like a Deluxe Keldor to Skeletor figure would work.

Homages to past variants:

I'm not saying to make Battle Armor He-Man, Terror Claws Skeletor, or things like that. I'm saying new variants that take cues from past variants. If a He-Man variant ends up wearing armor, then taking elements from teh Vintage Battle armor design, the 200X Battle Sound He-Man, and maybe some elements from Netflix He-Man to make a new version. A new Clawed Variant of Skeletor could take cues from Battle Sound Skeletor, Terror Claws Skeletor, nu52 "horned Skeletor", etc. You know, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue... Beastman doesn't  have variants, so let's  make a Drake Tamer Beastman could take cues from Dragon Blaster Skeletor, other non-MOTU fantasy characters... for example: Soulcalibur's Nightmare has a cool looking bone arm,taking some cues from the bone structure from that arm, a savage dragon-bone armor could be made for Beastman. 

Shokoti and Masque

We got them in Classics, but they were very popular.

Sea Hawk and Octavia

The ocean themed characters both based on filmation's Princess of Power. 

Deluxe Catra

The idea is to pack both Catra and her panther form. Adding some energy effects for both Catra and the Panther, so it looks like they're transforming. I am, of course, talking about Filmation Catra.

Revelation style Classic Faker

The Deluxe Revelation Faker Is a decent figure, but fans (and Mattel to an extent) want a "Traditional Faker". But I want to add a Thermochromic twist. It should be a plain vanilla He-Man with Skeletor armor in magenta. But when put in a warm temperatures his body turns blue and his hair reddish. Add the battle damage from the Target Deluxe Faker and call it a day. 

Kothos

A classic Filmation villain with Multiple appearances. Hell, make the Blue outfit Kothos a Walmart exclusiveand the Red and White Kothos a Target exclusive. Toss different accessories and boom! 

Count Marzo and Chimera

These two we should have gotten back in Classics but we were denied the honor... Hell, even Club Grayskull deprived us from getting them.

Nu52 styled characters

Iron Man pants He-Man, Dark Orko, Swift Wind stabbing skirt She-Ra, Sexy green Teela, Evil Duncan, Mendor, etc.

This is just a small sampling of what could bring me back... Maybe I should get a Revelation He-Man and Skeletor just to have the main 2 and see how it goes from there, but first I would have to find them in stores...

The people who hijacked She-Ra are whining about the Live Action series

 It's not for you, you doughnuts!! This She-Ra is for a different audience. Are you mad because you can no longer have ephebophile incestuous fantasies with teenage lesbians? 

YOU HAVE YOUR INFERIOR VERSION OF SHE-RA... WATCH THAT INSTEAD OF DEMANDING THE CANCELATION OF THE NEW NEW SHE-RA.

This is why hijacking shows and completely changing core elements ends up ruining them. The gay experiment didn't yield the results they wanted. Now they're trying a different thing. We could get the Xena/Star Wars fusion we deserve for a SHE-RA show, but these Toxic Gaytekeepers don't want a GOOD SHE-RA show. They want a GAY SHE-RA show above everything else. 4 out of 5 continuities have a straight She-Ra. Now the "hijackers" are demanding that ALL SHE-RA CONTINUITIES BECOME GAY. I have to laugh at the situation. They literally became the very thing they criticized when the Bastardization was being promoted.

Now I want this live action remake to be as close as possible to classic She-Ra and not pander to the Bastardization fans just to spite them.

She-Ra is getting a Live Action Series on Amazon...

 Wait a second: Amazon, as in the E-tailer is making a She-Ra series?

I know they make shows like the Tick and theupcoming Lord of the Rings prequel that is going to be like Game of Thrones but with Hobbits... well, they're making a Live Action She-Ra series. The good news is that it won't be connected to the Bastardization of She-Ra by Noelle Stevenson. The Bad news is that it will most likely follow the trend from Shit-Reeee! and the Princesses of Powder idea of She-Ra sans He-Man. 

Expectations are at rock bottom... IT COULD BE GOOD, but current year mentality + DreamWorks, well, let's say that keeping Expectations SUPER Low is the best thing one can do. No, really. If you think it will suck Grizzlor ass and it doesn't, it's a good thing. If you think it will rock and ends up sucking Grizzlor ass, well, you just got played like a damn fiddle, all by yourself.

It came from the Toy Chest: oranges She-Ra

 

Adam: Oh come on!!
How can SHE get a
single card release, but
I'm stuck with a Sky Sled!

 Adora, He-Man's twin sister, heterosexual and not in love with Catra, defender of the Crystal Castle... I'm aware I just triggered the fans of the bastardization of She-Ra by Noelle Stevenson that love to troll this blog... sadly this will be the only representation of She-Ra in Origins. No Bow, no Glimmer, no Catra, no Swift Wind, etc.

Adora: Why are you using a MOTUC Sword?
Adam: Mine's busted, Okay?
Adora: Look at that, another Thing I do better than you!
Adam: Oh yeah?

And like I said She-Ra is He-Man's twin sister that she's basically female He-Man. 

Adam: By the Power of Grayskull!
Adora: For the Honor of Grayskull!

Articulation 

You've seen Teela and Evil Lyn, so you know what to expect here. The hair can get a little bit in the way at times. Other than that, she behaves Just like Teela or Evil Lyn.

He-Man: I have the Power!!
She-Ra: I am She-Ra!!
He-Man: wait... did you pull off a reverse Clark Kent!?
She-Ra: What!? I'M not the one getting naked as my superhero disguise... couldn't you at least get a tan or something?
He-Man: At least I CHANGE MY CLOTHES!

Like previous females, she gets a 3.5

Paint and sculpt

She-Ra is based on the vintage toy but different. The cloth cape and skirt feel cheaper than the majestic 80s version. The face is where I'm a bit disappointed... commom threas with Origins!! Bazinga! I hate myself for referencing Big bang theory...

She looks like a 13 year old Caucasian girl or a 27 year old pale skinned Asian Woman.

She-Ra: There you go, you big Baby!
He-Man: I'm driving the Landshark!!
She-Ra: Watch where you're going, you doughnut!
He-Man: You think you can do better? Why don't you drive!?
She-Ra: Maybe I will!

I hate the dull yellow passing as gold and her  breastplate is painted wrong... 4.0

Accessories 

Sword and Shield. There isn't much to write about here. Let's face it that's the only things she needs.

She-Ra: I HOPE that's the Power Sword poking my ass...
He-Man: Nope! It's the Sword of Prorection. Sword to Oozinator!! Gnngh! Uhhgnh!
She-Ra: Ewww! Gross! Get your hand off my tit before I chop it off!!

4.5

Overall:

Oranges She-Ra gets a 4.0 as her final score. It's not about score especially for an oranges figure. It's just that these figures are in texts actually the best... This wave and the deluxe figures are having a lot more QC issues than previous waves.

Top 5 Princess of Power Characters I'd like to see in MOTUO

 I know I don't write often about MOTUO... but since I have a She-Ra sitting in my Pile of Loot, it made me think... While the entire roster of Princess of Power may not be possible, because "reasons" Mattel should work something out qith certain KEY characters.

Catra:

If we have the face of the Princess of Power line, we need the line's "Skeletor"... ues, Hordak is her "Skeletor" storywise, but in the TOYS, Catra was her Skeletor. For the sake of balance we NEED her.

Swift Wind:

He man has Battlecat Skeletor has Panthor, therefore She-Ra needs Swift Wind. Also the horse body could be reused onTeela's unicorn, Charger.

Glimmer:

Yeah, like I'm gonna make a Princess of Power list and not include my favorite rebel.

Bow:

Male Teela. Also the only canonical love interest for She-Ra that is not Tangled in Filmation rights.

Kowl: 

He's  the Orko of Princess of Power.

While it would be neat to have the entire original line redone in Origins Style, I know this is highly unlikely due to their weird property limbo that the She-Ra section of the brand is and some sectors of the fandom hate She-Ra stuff.

What would Make a great She-Ra show in my eyes:

I've criticized the recent Netflix experiment during its run. Some people claim it's an unfair criticism because I'm not gay. Others just call me a bigot because I've called out the bullshit argument of using "minorities" ,"fat people", "LGBTQ" as criticism shields. Others simply try to apply 2020 values to a 1980s cartoon to call their subpar 2018 toon superior. Being a "good gay show" does notnecessarily mean a "good She-Ra show". But that's not why we're here today.
We're here to discuss what would make a Great She-Ra show for me:

-Respect the source material:
The biggest problem with the Netflix experiment was that Noelle Stevenson took a massive dump on the source material, chaged it beyond recognition and made something completely different whose only similarities to the REAL She-Ra is the names of the characters.

To my understanding, She-Ra's origins are currently in a murky situation. Since She-Ra and He-Man are different IPs with shared elements and some of those are Mattel property, there's a slight issue here. Hence the Experiment had to use a He-Manless origin.

IF POSSIBLE, the He-Man's twin sister origin should be used. If that is not possible, have Grayskull be the name of the first owner of the sword. Just so the Transformation  phrase makes sense. Also, no time displaced First One baby Adora, please.

The Evil Horde is Evil! The core members should NEVER defect from the Horde. The only one who plays both teams is DoubleTrouble... who is not a genderfluid lizard monster.

Despite having support from Different kingdoms, the base of the Rebellion is The Whispering Woods.

As long as the core aspects of the universe are treated woth respect, there shouldn't be any issues...

-The War for the Etherian Liberation should be the main focus of the show: 
The show should aim to inspire girls to feel empowered. That even in tough situations, girls can get things done just as well as the boys. Teamwork, friendship, tolerance, and acceptance. All of these MUST be done under the main story arc, which is: the Etherian Rebellion stands up to fight evil Space Nazis. Sleepovers, Proms, Beach episodes should NOT BE PART of the series. While relationships among characters MAY DEVELOP, they are NOT the focus.
You could get a scene or two with say, Josh and Glimmer sharing a potato salad or Bow and Adora put in an awkward situation. Perhaps Sea Hawk and Crimson Rose's very Macho handshake lingers a bit too much, but it will not be beaten over your head so you can ship them.

Also, being capable of having the Good guys LOSE battles. It is a bit boring if the good guys are going to win in the end. You can't always win, is an important lesson to teach, just like, despite knowing you're going to lose, you HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING.


-changes to the characters must be justified with story reasons and not to fill PC check boxes.
Muh Diversity is not a reason to change a character's race, gender, or sexual orientation.
For example, want to make an Asian Glimmer, well Bright Moon better be turned into an "Asia-like" country. Want to make Mermista a "Pacific Islander", better have a Pacific tribal look to Salineas. If not, then you can Add a character of a different race, but there must be some justification. If you want to add more black characters, then there must be an area in Etheria, where the population is predominantly black and they'd have some cultural symbols, attire, markers, signifiers that these characters would have in common... just as every region would. In the example I used, I mentioned black characters. I'm not asking for African tribal designs on every black characters. I'm asking for a sign that can Identify them as members of a certain culture or creed:
 a different example to see if you can catch my drift:
Faithful Catholics are known to carry rosary bead necklaces. Jewish men wear a Yarmulke. So on, and so forth. Maybe Netossa wears a shoulderpad, whose crest has some significance on her land. Others from her land may have the same crest in other items of clothing.
Just like Brightmoon has a lunar motif. I lnow the Netflix experiment played a little bit with this, but they played it a bit too safe.

This idea is to expand the lore of the world and "ground" the characters on a more "realistic" world... (as realistic as  you can get on a world with magical Princesses fighting Space Nazis)

Need an interracial couple for a story use Netossa and Spinnerella... or have some new characters.

-once the tone of the series is set, it shouldn't be drastically changed without reason.
Personally for a She-Ra cartoon I would go for a middle-of-the-road tone. By that I mean that it wouldn't be as light as the Filmation cartoon nor as dark as Game of Thrones. Maybe as dark as Young Justice. By drastically changing in town I'm referring to something like in Teen Titans  (the early 2000s one) where you had some serious episodes and some incredibly silly episodes intertwined.

If for some reason an extremely light tone episode is required, frame it as Bow singing a ballad about said events after they happened. Like say rescuing the village of Thaymor  Bow would sing anout the event while embellishing details  to make it fit the song format. The idea is to justify within the story this change. Unlike the Experiment's  "D&D" episode, that retells the same segment in different styles hey do you have to tell the one single story in that more than slightly different tone. Similar reasoning would apply if a dark and more somber tone needs to be used, although the method to justify the change in tone would have to be different. Maybe the darker retelling is from a horde Cadet reporting to their superior.

The idea is to not to Blindside the viewers completely with an episode that doesn't not the style of the rest. Like going full wtf with a Prom Episode, a Beach Episode, or the Jazz Lounge Episode.

-Story is the master, everything else is secondary:
It's not a difficult concept. The show is not a soapbox to discuss social or political issues. It doesn't mean that they can't be dealt with, because you totally can. The issue is that they are NOT the main focus. The focus is on Adora's Hero Journey (and redemption) as well as the people of Etheria joining together despite Race, Gender, Nationality, Creed to fight the Evil Space Nazis. Not a platform for the showrunner to expose their views.

-At the end of the day, this is a 22 minute toy ad:
We can desire to make the best story ever and the most kickass She-Ra series, but if it doesn't fullfill Mattel's prime directive, it's not worth it for them.  That of course means, parts reuse and homogenous body types. I said TypeS Now, because the characters don't NEED to be confined to one male and onfe female body type. And yes, before anyone asks, obese bodies are not being considered.
Why? The kids don't want them.

For the females, I'd  say:
Petite, Athletic, buff. For example: Glimmer and Adora would be Petite. Mermista would be Athletic. Huntara and She-Ra would be Buff.
For the males we'd have Thin, Athletic, Buff, and Large.
Modulok and Josh would be Thin. Mantenna, Bow and Sea Hawk are Athletic. Crimson Rose and Grizzlor would be buff. Leech, Horde Prime would be Large.
If we were to asign characters to certain bodies.  I'm not going to go in full detail because this is just giving a general idea nothing set in stone but more difference between each body type could be acquired by different overlays.

Basically the notion is to design the characters in a way that can be easily translated into toys which was something the Experiment forgot.


For the people involved to be hellbent in delivering the BEST SHE-RA SHOW THEY CAN MAKE... and some humility:
I want to see some passion for She-Ra by the people involved. I don't want to see any of the people involved talking smack about previous versions (and that includes the Netflix experiment) I don't want to see them talk how they're going to make the X-est show ever! All I want is to hear them talk about the great responsibility handed to them, that they're trying to make the best She-Ra show possible and that they hope we enjoy it as much as they enjoyed making it. In fact, if we don't hear about the showrunner, the better...

Holy crap, I didn't expect that this would've gotten this big... but I'm mildly passionate about this.

Good things from Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriation of She-Ra that could be used in future continuities.

Yes, you read right: Despite my massive hatred for this Bastardization, I'm going to sift through the poop and find the fermented coffee beans.
I won't count having "continuity" or "character arcs" in favor of this bastardization. Why? The original was made for syndication, which meant showing episodes out of order was a valid reason to NOT HAVE ARCS.

-Competent Bow:
While the character of Bow was changed very radically to a point that he no longer was Bow, that's why I dumped him Tyrone, the one Good thing about Tyrone Bow, was that HE WAS COMPETENT. Now if we could have Competent Bow with the Chauvinist Bard/Presditigitator, we could get a badass Batman/Robin Hood kind of guy.

-Catra's Jealousy/pettiness:
While I'm not interested in the incestuous vibe that Stevenson added. (Especially it being reciprocal,  when there were NO SIGNALS AT ALL that Adora loved Catra in THAT WAY) but this version of Catra had a nice vindictive, petty behavior that fits with her Jealous tag.

-Pathetic Sea Hawk:
To be honest, I am biased against Sea Hawk, since he's always being what Bow should be. But being an incompetent pirate who lucks out in his adventures is a rather interesting take on him and the whole Pirate/Mermaid relationship with Mermista makes sense.

-Calm and collected villains: (Hordak, Shadow Weaver, Prime)
Being more in control of their emotions made them look more evil, calculating, and menacing villains. I've praised the actors perfomances, despite having issues with the writing. (Ie. The Horde not truly being a threat.)

-Netossa and Spinnerella's relationship:
While the Gay Adora thing felt forced, Netossa and  Spinnerella's relationship was handled more organically. They simply existed. Also, I wish they had been used more.

-Double Trouble:
While I disliked the whole Gender Neutral Lizard Monster angle for Double Trouble... or Jacob Tobia getting the role because of a stunt... (the stunt was casting the biggest "non-binary stereotype" they could find because they are a prop to fend off criticism.) But they actually USED Double Trouble.

I really wanted to reach to 10 things, but sadly, I couldn't... but there you have it, even in crap, you can find something good.

So much potential, squandered by Noelle Stevenson... Shit-Ree and the Princesses of Powder Final " Season"...

They dropped the ball so hard here... and I'm trying to find a tactful way to explain how much this season sucked...
 The good news is that this bastardization is over. The bad news is that it exists.

The pacing was horrible. Out of 13 episodes, they spent 7 dicking around with Outer Space. 4 of those Space episodes felt Filler-like including the Peekablue episode.

At the end of Episode 9 "This war has just begun"
That's literally 4 episodes before the SERIES FINALE!! Then the remaining episodes have a contrived struggle against the cliche mind controlled allies.

Speaking of contrived, Adora's relationship with Catra. Not going to argue about forcing a straight character into a gay role, which is horrible writing. Characters who were written AS SISTERS suddenly became lovers. I'm well aware that the incestuous undertones were seen in season 1, but that's Shit-Ree and the Princesses of Powder for you... Teaching little girls to make out with their step-sisters!
On the other hand they actually did Justice to Netossa and Spinnerella. Their kisses didn't feel forced or out of place.

They also wasted time in canonizing ships: "Glimmer" and "Bow", Mermista and Don Karnage's gay brother, Hordak and Entrapta... I'd like a mission before Catra and Adora.

 Oh yeah we also had the super lame cliche for girls cartoons all of the bad guys turned good except the real real bad guy who dies in the end. Hell, even the mediocre Neitlichverse got a shout out in the Peekablue episode.

I believe the most sad thing about this whole "season" is that Horde Prime became crappier Hordak. His Conquest plan literally became the same that Hordak used the past "season".

But as always, any criticism of this Bastardization means I'm a fat shaming, racist, homophobe, incel, neckbeard, Trump supporting asshole... Because it's easier to blindly defend mediocre writing by accusing the detractors instead of pointing out the good things... which for them are being stunning and brave. Asinine plots and contrived writing? Doesn't matter we have fat LGBTQ characters...

In any case, here's hoping the next She-Ra doesn't suck or Steal Cloud Strife's attacks...

That's totally NOT Cloud's Cross-Slash... she also pulls off a couple of Blade Beams and a Climbhazzard... There was a move similar to Braver...
BTW I like to redesigned suit. I just wish that had been her single outfit throughout the entire series.

Good riddance!!