Is this some Scrooge bullshit of reliving past reviews present reviews and future reviews, because I ain't down with that. But I'm reviewing Evil Lyn... The Masterverse 1987 Movie Evil Lyn.
It's Evil Lyn, but 1987 movie version... she just stood around and stuff.
Articulation:
She has less articulation than a Masterverse female figure. Due to the breastplate she loses the underboob articulation. Her plastic skirt blocks leg articulation. Her epaulets block shoulder articulation. Basically all she can do is stand around and look pretty.
3.5
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| "How can I fuck Kevin Sorbo's day today?" |
Paint and sculpt:
The sculpting on the face does not look like Meg Foster. It's a lot better than the not Dolph Lundgren look from the masterverse movie He-Man. You can see a bit of likeness to the actress but not enough for her to raise issues about her likeness being used without permission. The rest of the body vaguely resembles the movie outfit it's just that the plastic used for the metallic armor looks rather off. Also it's a shame that Mattel went very heavy on the printed details throughout the body.
3.5
 |
| Skeletor: "Evil Lyn, there's something weird going on with the cosmic key... it's all shimmering and smells like tuna... What in Entrapta's bald cunt is going on here?" Andra: "My Little Pony, My Little Pony, what is Friendship with benefits all about?" She-Ra: "I will not let you die of blue balls, my brother... for the semen of Grayskull, I'll save my brother..." Faker: "Yes... She-Ra... save... your... Brother... from... the Blue Balls..." Teela: "Your cock is not that impressive, He-Vil-Lyn! Gwildor's is much bigger than yours!" Evil Lyn: "Doesn't matter I still made you cum." Skeletor: "I missed out on an orgy again... myah!" |
Accessories:
Alternate hands
Comic Key Hologram
I understand the cosmic key hologram being a movie accurate accessory but at the same time she comes with nothing else. They could have added something more to her even if it wasn't the original movie, it could have been considered movie inspired like say taking the scepter that the original toy came with and taking cues from her design and make a new version for her.
2.5
 |
| Teela: "Finally! We can come to a party without wearing the same dress!" Evil Lyn: Did you forget the time you went Blonde and ran around in your underwear?" Teela: Do I need to remind you that you copied that look recently, when you got roided out, He-Vil-Lyn?" |
Overall:
Movie Evil Lyn gets a 3.17 as her final score. They tried but they're at them weren't enough to push her from a mediocre release to a good one. The saddest part is that if Mattel had bothered to make this figure a deluxe release and invest of it more, it would have been a great figure. Sadly, Mattel quarter-asses things and ends up in mediocrity at times. This is one of those
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| Hordak: "If it isn't *snort* the Eternian Cersei and Jamie." She-Ra: "It was Faker and it was ONE time!" He-Man: "Wait, you fucked Faker thinking it was me!? Etherian culture is weird." |
You remember the Hordak I've taken my sweet ass time to not review, well... this is why:
Evil ruler of the Evil Horde, Adora's evil adoptive father, space Nazi long before Rebel Moo made them lame.
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| He-Man:"Have at you, space Nazi!" She-Ra:"Space Trump, you're getting canceled tonight!" Hordak:"The Twincest of Grayskull are calling me Trump? *snort* Who wrote this script, Kevin Smith?" |
Articulation:
Standard Masterverse articulation. His Armor blocks the abdominal articulation a little bit. Everything else functions as normal even the interchangeable arms keep their articulation.
4.5
 |
| Hordak: "MEGA, Bitch! Make Etheria *snort* Great Again! I'll grab your Yuuuuuuuuge Pussy right after I blow *snort* my load all over your *snort* brother!" He-Man: "Bring it on, Captain Toad!" |
Paint and sculpt:
Hordak looks like he's inspired by his Filmation counterpart. It's not entirely accurate but it's serviceable. He also has elements inspired by the vintage toy. This means that you could mix and match based on your preferences and have a somewhat toy inspired look versus a cartoon inspired look.
4.5
 |
| Hordak:"Now, I'll *snort* blow you to smithereens!" He-Man:"Let's go Brandon!" Hordak: "what did you say!?" |
Accessories:
Altenrate hands
Alternate robotic arm
Pincer for robotic arm
Blast effect
Bat shield
Crossbow
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| Mossman: "Moss Brandon here to kick ass and eat Ice Cream... seems like Trumpdak ate all the Ice Cream, but I can beat him in my sleep, cause I'm Sleepy Moss... Seriously, is Kevin Smith writing our scripts now!?" Hordak: "What bullshit is this!? I thought you retired!?" Mossman: "Jokes that will be dated before this review comes out is how we are hip. Let's Pokémon go to the polls and all that!" |
Like with most Deluxe releases, I don't feel so much deluxement coming out of him since all he has is basic accessories. The alternate look is removing a soft goods cape.
4.0
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| This was some clever engineering for Hordak. |
Overall:
Hordak gets a 4.33 as his final score. The main issue here is Mattel giving less for more. This is why I'm not super involved with this toy line. Aside it being a bitch to find offline and when I find a figure at retail it's full of QC defects... or I already own it.
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