Jun 30, 2019

MOTU movie devious rumor: the rant

We heard a rumor about the movie being temporarily cancelled "due to script and budget issues". Rumor was later debunked.

I was preparing a rant about the rumor, speaking how out of touch with the source material SONY is and was gping to use Spider-Man 3 and the (not so) Amazing Spider-Man reboot... with the Aunt May movie, Sinister Six movie, and all the other Spidey-relates movies minus Spidey.

Now I have nothing... The movie is still happening, I fear EVERYTHIN ! Right now, I'm nearing "Zack Snyder attempts to male Superman" levels of fear. It's not "Paul Feig attempts to make Ghostbusters" level, but I'm afraid...

In fact, I was more than willing to believe the rumor just because it's better to have it canned than having a crappy movie out! I'm guessing that many others feel this way.

Jun 29, 2019

Batman vs TMNT: the review the rant

I saw jt, I kinda liked it, but didn't love it.
The Batman vs Shredder and the Batman vs the TMNT fights were cool, but nothing else REALLY wowed me.
It's loosely inspired on the first Batman/TMNT Crossover comics.

I REALLY wanted to like this: it has Batman and TMNT... two things I like and should mix well, but for some reason didn't.

There's a ton of references that made me chuckle, but references alone a movie does not make. I had a couple of issues with some of the choices... Why does Donatello's head look like a toe? Why is Bane a Cheetah? Why did they suddenly go full Fred Wolf series when they were going for a pseudo Mirage feeling?

Troy Baker is a much better Joker than he is Batman. Tara Strong as Harley... is very welcome, then again, I am a bit biased.

Shoot, am I getting grumpier with age?

My Adulthood seems to hate classic JRPGs

I remember back in High School, when I could easily pick up a JRPG on Friday afternoon and by late night Sunday,  I was halfway there... (Wo-hoa! Living on a prayer!)  And by the next weekend, the final boss  down... in some cases, I only needed a single weekend *cough*FFVII*cough*

Nowadays, it feels like a ginormic chore to raise 3 levels for a character, just to pass a low tier boss. Adulthood has sucked the joy of mundane repetitive tasks and the grinding of traditional JRPGs, for some reason feels bothersome.

I still have FFX+FFX-2 Unopened for PS3... I'm dreading returning to Spira... I still haven't finished FFXIII...
IIRC, I'm still on Junon or Costa del Sol on the PC Port of VII... I even dread restarting Xenogears,  since levelling up in that game can be tedious.

What the hell happened?

Did Rockstar corrupt me with their open world games? Was it the High speed internet that pulled me away from slower paced experiences? Am I becoming dumb and no longer can appreciate the intricate nuances of turn based combat?

I'll blame the reduced amount of free time that I have, which forces me to seek more instant gratification...

Jun 28, 2019

It came from the toy chest: Mutant Mallrat is not a vampire!

I am talking about the Mutant that sounds a lot like Claire Redfield, Jubilation Lee, better known as Jubilee...
Yes, I KNOW I reviewed Vampire Jubilee... but now I have the Real Jubilee... (still waiting for my Entertainment Earth Jubilee and Beast to show up...) My brother found her in the wild and got her for me. He too wants to see the Animated Team come to life. He literally said, and I quote:
"Cabrón, para que completes el equipo de los muñequitos."
Roughly translates to: Dude, so you can complete the toon team." Technically speaking what I gave you it's more of an interpretation than a direct translation because context.
The literal translation would be:
Cuckold, for you to complete the team of the little dolls. Which spunds like a bit of Engrish.

So Jubilee Mallrat with the mutant power of sparkles and 90s stereotype... she also hangs around cool X-Men and not so cool X-Men... of course I mean Cyclops everybody knows that Cyclops is not cool!

Despite having plenty of new parts Jubilee's articulation behaves exactly like most normal figures. The only difference is her left hand... it's hinge can allow you to make her wave her hand Byebye!

Paint and sculpt:
The normal head on my Jubilee has a slight issue with her lips. Some red paint bleed. Barely noticeable, but I see it!
Both heads have a slight derp face due to the eyes. Other then that she's flawless. Or as close to a Flawless representation of 90s Jubilee would be.

BAF piece
Extra head
Glasses (×2 for some reason)

The one thing that bothers me is no sparkles. This is Jubilee she's supposed to come with the sparkles!
4.5 because she lacks sparkles.

4.5 is the final score for Jubilee. She would have read it would've been higher if she had gotten at least one glob of sparkles or even a recycled Dazzler effect.
But all that's left is Storm to complete the animated series team...

Jun 27, 2019

I'm disappointed with Wendigo Wave Cannonball... a rant

It's official he has no legs. This limits the possibility of options for him a huge lot. Just like there is not a powered off version of Human Torch or Iceman just a name a few characters that could use a powered off variant. I know most people either have them standing straight or in an action pose display. I used to have most of my Marvel Legends something closer to the latter.

 But Cannonball's case is an unique one because he's literally blasting up from the floor upwards. There is no flight stand to have him flying off and multiple directions. Even if you use a third-party flight stand the tail end of his blast effect would be flat in order to stand on the floor. So he's this display options are very limited. At least with Professor X you can remove the flight stand knock the chair down and have a look as if Xavier had been knocked out of the chair.

But the worst part of it all is that the blasting lower half looks a lot smaller than it should if he had actual legs.

So he would be a perfect candidate for a revisit. Hell, a Shatterstar lower Torso could be repainted for him and it would be passable.

 Wait, this gives me an idea... an entire wave based on "Powered down" versions of charcters.
No, this is not a "Secret Identity" Wave.

So here's what I'm thinking:
The BAF would be Pyotr Nikolayevich Rasputin... in Flesh body, not the Colossus form. Classic Outfit preferably.
The wave would be a General Marvel Legends wave, just like the ToyBiz days, but the theme is powered down looks.

Cannonball, would be the first figure and he would have 3 accessories:
2 that snap on his legs, like Hydroman and a removable  one for his waist to simulate his blasting off effect (at an earlier point than the Wendigo figure) due to his accessories, he'd come with an arm.

Next, Johnny Storm:
Repaint a normal body in F4 colors with a new Johnny head with no flames on it, add a clip-on flame for the back and 2 flamed on hands. A second Flaming head. Have him come with a leg.

Third figure here would be Banner:
I've described Banner already, so I'll be brief. Normal head, angry head with a slight greenish hue. Extra fists with greenish hue. Have him come with the torso.

4th Figure would be Eddie Brock:
Give him a half-Eddie, half-Venom head, an accessory similar to the plug in tendrils on Carnage's back. Toss in the other leg.

5th Figure would be Cletus Kasady:
Same thing as Brock, but with Carnage stuff. Give him the final arm.

6th figure would be Iceman:
Similar to Johnny Storm, but with Ice. He'd come with 2 BAF heads: normal and mid-transformation.

7th and final figure of the wave is Quick Change Spider-Man:
I KNOW! I said: No "Secret Identity" figures.
But a filler is needed and he's perfect filler. He'd have Mid Transformation Colossus fists.  And 2 extra heads for Spidey: Spider-Sense head with the squiggly lines and the Half Peter, Half Spidey head.

ALF and Dog hate Haley Joel Osment's necrosight...

Normally, I would make an odds and ends to talk about this, but this hit me a bit too close to home.
I have been rewatching ALF recently and I noticed something: As an adult I sympathize a lot with Willie than with ALF. Not to mention that this was one of the few shows I used to watch with my Dad... Back when we got along and didn't metaphorically try to kill each other. So knowing that the Tanner Patriarch passed away kind of Hit me hard.

Beth Chapman's passing is another blow, but this one is related to Mom... Back when her condition was at its worse, she spent a lot of time in bed watching A&E... and since I'm talking about Beth Chapman, you can guess what was her favorite show...

But she watched the show ironically... and loved to parody the show. Many timea I caught her with her shirt stuffed with oversized pillows making Beth impressions. She also made Dog impressions, but this is about Beth, not Dog.

So, both deaths were a blow to me, because they reminded me of better times, that I will never be able to return to.

So, Max Wright, passed away due to complications with Lymphoma. My condolences to the family and friends. He will be greatly missed.

Beth Chapman passed away due to cancer complications.
My condolences to the family and friends. She will be missed...

I hope that their families can reach the point where the pain of their loss becomes bearable.

Jun 26, 2019

It came from the toy chest: Back in Blegh!

Symbiote Spidey's recent look is blegh!
To be fair the spider design is decent but the eyes are what ruined it for me. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate the eyes!

And the stupidity in red and black is basically Norman Osborn with a symbiote. It looks stupid okay, and it lacks a glider. How do you make a goblin without a glider?

I'm not going to bother in reviewing Norman. All I'm going to say is that he's basically a Carnage buck with a tail and a stupid looking face! Tail limits posability and did I mention it looks stupid?
Yes, it's a JoJo pose.

Since it uses the standard Spider-Man body the articulation is similar to previous Spider-Man figures. He passes my Spider-Man articulation test but I still wish he had articulated bootcut.

Paint and sculpt:
Based on the images I've seen online of this new version of the Symbiote outfit the accuracy is pretty good. There are no sloppy areas on my figure that I could notice.

Extra pair of hands, Kingpin heads.

Symbiote Spider-Man  (stupid version) gets a 4.33 as his final score. I got to be honest here I just got him and red Goblin just to complete the Kingpin build-a-figure same thing with Night Thrasher and Black Cat. Ugh, those stupid eyes!

Jun 24, 2019

Top items we'll never see in MOTUC.

With Mattel taking over MOTU and heading in a completely different direction from Classics, and the deal with Super7 ending most likely before the movie; we can say that MOTUC is dead... or very close to death. (Super7's lack of interest in doing anything beyond Filmation, the tangled rights issues on She-Ra don't help the situation) since I have ranters block and I most DEFINITELY don't want to talk about the notion that Steven Seagal was almost Batman 1989.

So without further ado, Top things I would've liked to see in MOTUC: (in no specific order, not counting the Club Grayskull sub-line. Full classics style items here, even if they came from Filmation.)

1: Classicized Eternos Palace:
The third Most important zone in Eternia. Visually It should be based on the Filmation cartoon  (Classicized) since it's the most iconic version.

2:Land Shark:
My favorite Evil Vehicle. It would've looked sweet updatwd to today's standrards.

3: Spirit:
Adam has Cringer, He-Man has Battlecat She-Ra has Swift Wind, when Adora has Jack shit. Also Swift Wind is freaking expensive in the secondary Market. I simply cannot buy a second one to make Spirit.

Because Stonedar, Rokkon, and Granita need beastly companions.

5:Whispering Woods:
The main base of The Great Rebellion what's shown as a future playset that never materialized in the original line. Personally I would prefer a more Filmation inspired take on the Whispering Woods. Taking the elements of the proposed toy playset but sculpting it to be more in line with the Filmation design of the zone.

6: Etherian Fright Zone:
By the name you can probably guess that this is basically a Filmation Fright Zone. In a MATTEL-INSPIRED move, the play features inside could be recycled ideas from previous playsets. (Throme and Trapdoor being from Grayskull)

7:Eternian Slime Pit and Fright Zone Ruins:
Yes I'm combining both vintage Mattel mini playsets to make something a bit more substantial.

8: Dragon Walker:
It's mean it's green it's a slow ass Dragon machine! But it's a beloved vehicle, so I want it!

9:Etherian Rebel Josh:
This is Netflix House of rants! Of course Etherian Rebel Josh, Melaktha  or Songster will make an appearance in a Masters of the Universe want List!

The grumpy archaeologist was the original black guy Masters of the Universe even before clamp champ soul yeah I do want him represented in plastic. I've  already stated why I want him, so I won't go into detail.

11: Songster:
The spoony bard completes my Trinity of oddball wants.

12: The Remaining New Adventures of He-Man characters:
I could pad out the list going one by one, but I put all the Meteorbs in one spot, so same thing here.

13: Crystal Castle:
While this one would be more of a backdrop piece than a Playset; it is a key place on Etherian Lore. I would combine the Vintage Toy with Filmation's Spire on top of the Toy playset.

14: 200X variants of key characters:
Revisiting certain folks isn't a bad thing. This allows us that.

15: Lt. Andra:
One of the few original characters from the Marvel Comics Iteration of Masters of the Universe. She has been in cameos in Classics continuity.

16:Army Builders: The Snakemen could use some beefing up in ranks besides "Bert and Ernie". Here is where they can go wild with designs that theoretically need no new parts. Skelcons could getva revisit without the Roton.  Maybe the Horde could get the 200X knights.

17:More Weapon Paks:
Self explanatory.

18: Return of Mini dioramas:
Castle Grayskull, for example is missing the dungeon grate, the Triangular weapon rack, etc.

19: 200X  Battle Ram Chariot;
Seems that Skeletor could use a Royal Vehicle and Panthor ain't it.

20: Scrollos:
He's the Uatu of MOTU, of course I want him...

21: The 3 Towers of Eternia:
I didn't forget them. I just wanted to end with the logistically impossible set!

While I wouldn't be able to buy them all, I would've wanted to see all this before the end... Hopefully, SDCC will proe me wrong.

Jun 23, 2019

Odds and ends June 23 2019: Toy Story, The Grinch, and other stuff...

I recently got praised by Cam Clarke for having some random trivia knowledge! Yes, Cam Clarke, as in

Yes, Spike, as in Classic Simba's non-Matthew Broderick voice...
Cam Clarke posted a picture of Jimmy Flinders, Quinton Flynn, and Sean Barker.
The combination of these three Voice Actors brings Metal Gear Solid series to the minds of fans. But those three have worked together before MGS...

Secret Wars had Clarke playing Reed Richards, Flynn playing Jonathan Storm (or course), and Hayter playing Steve Rogers. (David Hayter playing yet another supersoldier?)
I pointed it out and got props from my favorite Male VA...
So, I'm giddy!

Toy Story 4 was Good, but unnecessary. It's a VERY OBVIOUS Cashgrab... but it has a soul. It kinda feels like a rehash of Toy Story 1-3 fused into one movie.
The Woody and Forky dynamic is an echo of Woody and Buzz's own dynamic in the first Toy Story. Woody's conflict with Bo Peep echoes his struggle with Jessie in Toy Story 2. Gabby Gabby was an echo of Lotso from Toy Story 3.

Don't get me wrong it was a good movie... it was enjoyable fun but not necessary. Personally I would have ended the Saga on 3. Also, I didn't realize Duke Caboom was Keanu Reeves... not even the "whoa" uttered in a scene made me recognize him...

So, I saw The Grinch animated movie with the guy who plays Dr. Strange... it was forgettable... Better than the Jim Carrey version, but with more filler than Naruto.  Also what's the deal with giving the Grinch a tragic backstory? Meh! Stick to the Original one... the one where the Grinch pissed on Tony the Tiger's Frosted Flakes...

The singer is the voice of Tony the Tiger...

Speaking of voice acting... which has been the common thread here. The Netflix redub of Evangelion has gotten a lot of negative criticism. Not only they chabged the voices, but the context of the words spoken... Kaworu no longer wants to stick his longinus spear in Shinji... They changed Shinji's catchphrase... while it's closer to the Japanese phrase, "Don't run away!"  Doesn't have the same ring to it as " I MUSN'T run away!"
The voices are attempting to sound similar to the originals, but they feel OFF!
And the biggest offender?

This is gone...

Jun 21, 2019

MGA guy claims Mattel is going the way of Toys R Us...

While the MGA guy is a massive asshole, he's not completely wrong here. This is the part where Scott and his followers will say: "See, Nefty hates Mattel!"
I say to thee Nay...
I hate Mattel's business practices, constant corner cutting, their quarter assing of things that leads to consumer dissatisfaction. I want Masters of the Universe to thrive...
Hell, I want a revival of Street Sharks! Or Mighty Max...
But, Magic 8-ball is where it's at!

That's the thing with Mattel. They're out of touch...

So out of touch that I'm making a Hall and Oates reference. All jokes aside, even Neitlich himself has implied that Mattel is VERY out of touch with the consumer market. Seriously, Ed Boon has dropped not so subtle hints about wanting to make a MOTU Game. What did Mattel do? Stick their fingers up their butts, twiddle them around before pulling them out and sniffing them.

Then again, we know how well their Brand Synergies work...

3 DC Comics series with MOTU crossovers, Mattel did jacl squat in the toy department... and the worst part is that Mattel had the licenses to make toys of ALL THE PARTS INVOLVED in each crossover.

We also cannot ignore the fact that Mattel lost the license to the Disney princesses and DC Toys. We also have the massive legal battle that they lost against MGA for the Bratz.

Mattel is On Deadly Ground. They have had a couple of hard losses and they're currently betting on MOTU to succeed. Since they're working with SONY Pictures,  2 indie directors, the writer of MIB international and Transformers The Last Knight... the Magic 8-ball might say that the outcome doesn't look too good.

MGA dude has a huge ax to grind with Mattel... to the point that he attempted a hostile takeover then back out of it after calling out Mattel's failures as a company.
He is doing it in order to see Mattel fail and for him to pick up brands he can use at lower prices.

It's funny... Mattel pioneered the Multimedia juggernaut in the 80s, now he's trailing behind... badly! They need to step up and embrace new media... especially Videogames in order to appeal to newer generations... otherwise, they'll be forgotten, like Matt Mason, or the Original Matty
before he became a douche.

Jun 20, 2019

Action figure dildos...

There are dildos, vibrators, fleshlights, and other assorted sex toys for action figures...  Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Damn you, Spike!! I was thinking about that...
But back to reality: There are sex toys made for 1/12 action figures... and 1/6 dolls... it gives me devious ideas for action figure pics...

Yes, I bought the accessory pack... Funny story... I was looking for some Target NECA TMNT packs, but since my previous eBay searches involved the Queen's Blade figures, the eBay algorithm decided that action figure dildos was a recommendation worthy of my time.
Which brings me to my next part... Should I review them? (Meaning I would have to add an Adult Content section, or a little sister blog... that would call the House of Rants "Onii-chan") or should I save them for cameos in other reviews? Censored, of course... but when you see Beastman hugging a big black bar, you'll know he's holding a 1/6 dong.

Originally, this post was going to be about Mattel's ass backwards ways taking them the route of Toys R Us... then I saw the actual action figure dildos... the rest is history.

Bad FFVIIRemake news... operation Save Tifa from Corneo will be nerfed.

Nomura caved in to the people who agree with the whiner of Sarkeesia... Operation Rescue Tifa from Corneo is nerfed "to appeal to modern sensitivity".

This will probably mean that the Cloud will no longer be gangbanged in the hot tub. Of course people are dismissing this like it's no big deal it's not part of the main story, but it is...  since it allows you to obtain some of the best accessories for the disguise, you kind of need to have Cloud be The Chosen One by Corneo. They'll probably just eliminate the gangbang part and just make it like weird groping. It makes me wonder what will happen to the WuTai side quest since Corneo tries to marry a 16 year old girl.

Tifa's breasts, Wall market Mission, possibly wutai mission what else will they censor to appease whiners who don't play the games? I'm guessing Scarlett of Shinra will get censored as well... what about the whole Hojo's implied zoophilia?

This censorship all it does is watering down the original ;changing the context and it's borderline insulting.

It's how N-word Jim and I-word Joe became Jm and Joe in the Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn books.
I'm refraining to use the actual terms since they are considered "offensive" and I don't want to get my blog flagged for "hate speech"... by perennial offended slacktivists. The context in which those descriptors are used on the characters, is that's so sad. Then was really racist and that offensive language was common in white people, including our protagonists.

The same thing applies to those controversial scenes in Final Fantasy 7. We have a male protagonist that is raped... but he blocks the memory and pushes forward to save his friend, all part of Cloud's self. His constant denial of reality and using the Zack facade as means to cope with his flaws amd weaknesses. This event is never referenced again, but it fits with how Cloud's broken personality deals with traumatic events deals with traumatic events (Nibelheim, the escape, etc.) Those events are there proverbial chinks in Cloud's armor. Toning them down does a disservice to the story.

Jun 18, 2019

Noah Centineo is earning my respect.

I am not a fan of Noah Centineo as He-Man.  But he recently started gaining weight and muscle mass to have a more imposing physique and he's talked about the great responsibility of the role and how he's been practicing it hard to get He-Man right. So for that I got to be thankful that he's taking the role seriously.

This does not mean that the movie will not suck because we still have Sony to deal with. And based on their previous attempts and they for that leaked we can say that they're far more clueless than Mattel regarding He-Man.

I mean look at Tobey Man 3 and Amazing Spider-Douche 2. Sony's interference ruined those movies. And I'm not going to open the can of worms that is and I'm not going to open the kennel worms that is answer the call.

We still need more info on the movie likes a who will play Skeletor who else will be in it how will they do He-Man because as much as Mr. Centineo has bulked up he still looks Adam like not He-Man like.

My expectations for this will be pretty low, but Mr. Centineo is giving me a glimmer of hope.

Mattel FINALLY releases Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriations of She-Ra dolls

But they are SDCC EXCLUSIVE... THAT are only available at SDCC. Can't go to the con, you are SOL...
These MAY find their eventual retail release, but it's still a massive dick move to release these as SDCC exclusive and not make them available to everyone...

No, Hell hasn't frozen over. I still think the show is a massive turd, an abomination to all that is She-Ra made by Tumblrtard hipsters that don't know how to She-Ra... with that said, this just goes to show once again how out of touch Mattel is with everything. These will be released in less than a month before Season 3 out of the rumored 4 seasons. Pretty late to release toys for a series, don't you think? And by the time these reach retail, we might be on the wait for the rumored final season. But Mattel's got to Mattel I guess...

Jun 17, 2019

How to force Osborn into the MCU

Allegedly, Sony will add Norman Osborn to the Spider-Man movies. There's some rumor that at the end of Far From Home in a post credit scene Ann Osborne associate will begin Gathering villains for the new Sinister Six. Shocker, Vulture, Mysterio, and (rumored) Chameleon will be part of this team and the leader, Osborn has bought Stark Tower.

Personally I find this stupid. While  Norman is a giant douche he shouldn't start as THE Villain. I would have him as a philanthropist and businessman who sees an opportunity in the wake of the end of many Avengers. He buys start start in order to reverse engineer some of Iron Man's tech...  since  some of Stark's technology is part of the actual building it makes sense that some of it was left behind. While his companies working to improve the life of New York and their citizens; Norman is secretly trying to remake The Avengers In His Image.

 Through illegal means he obtains  genetic samples from certain Avengers: Hulk, Cap, and Black Panther come to mind. Somehow he is able to create a serum that combines the abilities of all three. In a fit of rage, Harry, Norman's son, hacks the data on the new Super Soldier serum and increases the Gamma Radiation needed to an unsafe range.

Norman tests the formula on himself, loses control, Hulks out, causes a massive explosion on Osborn tower killing many, and wounding an Otto Octavius from the Tech division. Norman learns to control his Hulk form rather easily (it's not Ultimate Goblin big... Think of it closer to Scrawny Steve Rogers became Chris Evans buff, but Gamma green, more goblin-looking with flowing purple hair.) and decides to use his Goblin persona to eliminate the competition (the Avengers) to pave the way for his Private Superhuman Military Company, The Thunderbolts. Norman chooses to test his abilities against the youngest Avenger, Spider-Man.

To tackle the design, I'd to go for a more traditional Goblin inspiration even if it's based on Ultimate Goblin. The long flowing hair that I mentioned earlier is a compromise to get the goblin cap look without having it be a Goblin cap. His main outfit would be a sort of special compression undergarment, that can resist the effects of the transformation without tearing Norman's clothes off.
Made from a reverse engineered piece of Black Panther's kinetic armor, it can absorb kinetic energy, which can be released as stun blasts, or fireballs that resemble flaming jack o' lanterns while in his hands.

The Glider is a modified set of Vulture wings with holographic projectors that make it look like a bat out of Hell.  (Possibly Mysterio tech)

Norman's personality: I already mentioned that he's a douche. Think of him as a much, MUCH less likable twisted version of Tony Stark. He has an axe to grind with Stark Industries, SHIELD, and others. Heck, I would've established Norman like this:

Oscorp unveiling their new HQ at the former Avengers tower,  where Norman is making a speech about Oscorp becoming a new beacon of hope for humanity, to which a reporter asks if he's trying to be the next Tony Stark...
Norman replies:
"I'll be the FIRST me, not the next Tony Stark, thank you VEEEERY Much!" In order to establish his massive douchiness.

Once he becomes the Goblin, he would create a threat that his Thunderbolts can stop in order to fleece cities... trying to consolidate power as both Norman and The Goblin.

Why I believe Daniel Radcliffe is perfect for Logan

Yes THAT Daniel Radcliffe...
He would make a decent MCU Logan...
I know he's British or sonething and Not Canadian...
Last Wolverine was an Oversized Australian dancer and you didn't complain...
"But he's too short!"
Bitch, please! WOLVERINE is like 5'3"... Dan Radcliffe is 5'7"... he's closer in size to Wolverine than Jackman ever was.
Sure, Radcliffe would have to get a superhero physique by bulking up a bit AND He's close to 30, so he could remain doing Marvel movies for 10 years before quitting.

People are asking for Tom Hardy, Momoa or Keanu, who are both too tall or too old to stick around for to years...

The only two guys I've heard that are NOT Dan Radcliffe for Logan that could work are Scott Eastwood  (who is too tall for my tastes) and Zac Efron... who is slightly older and shorter than Radcliffe, but as we saw on Baywatch
Even I'm starting to doubt on my Idea of Radcliffe as Wolverine...
And before you ask, the You're a Mutant, Logan! Quote inspired by You're a Wizard, Harry hadn't crossed my mind till now.
Well, shit! Looks like I might have been swayed by High School Musical as Wolverine...

Jun 16, 2019

Arcade 1up REALLY wants my money...

Do you know Arcade 1up? They make arcade cabinets for home use, so you can feel a bit nostalgic about the 80s and 90s...
They have made a Street Fighter 2 cabinet, Rampage, Galaga, Pacman, Centipede, Mortal Kombat, Final Fight... among others.
Basically, I need to hit the Powerball, buy a bigger house with a basement to convert into Nefty's arcade, the place where responsibilities go to die...

They are releasing 2 cabinets with games that I have pumped enough quarters into them to possibly buy 3 Arcade 1up cabinets... What are the games, you ask?
Both Konami TMNT Arcade games in Cabinet 1... TMNT and TMNT TIT.
Cabinet 2 has 3 Capcom Games:
X-Men: Children of the Atom
Marvel Superheroes

Hell, I'm having Braces phantom pain...
Holy crap!!  This is like a dream come true!!

But wait! There's more!

Star Wars Atari Arcade cabinet... while I'm not a huge Star Wars Atari Arcade fan, the fact that they're recreating the real arcade tech, not emulaion, is exciting. It's likely that it's not going to be cheap, but worth it for the SW fans.
The head to head cocktail styled cabinets seem interesting!

Jun 15, 2019

It came from the Toy Chest: Big fat Caillou...

Doesn't he look like a big fat Caillou? By he, I mean, the Kingpin.
Yes, I finally completed the Kingpin wave... got a Night Thrasher for under $10.
So for those of you who don't know the Kingpin is none other than Wilson Fisk, a spice Trader, who moonligjts as THE #1 Mobster in the 616 universe. Face has made a couple of enemies most notably Spider-Man, Punisher and Daredevil. So, now that we Freed Willie, let's get it on!
Tubby is very poseable. It's not Spider-Man levels of posability, but he actually can move and be posed in various awesome Kingpin like poses.

Paint and sculpt:
I used to think that that toy Biz Kingpin was really good. This Kingpin makes that Kingpin look like crap. But being really honest it's more obvious that this figure was intended to be a Shadow King repurposed into a Kingpin than vice versa.

Alternate head
A pair of extra hands would have been nice like one with a grid to hold another figure by the neck would have been cool or both or both closed fist hand so we could have a boxing Kingpin to fight  Daredevil. I mean the cane is a mandatory accessory for Kingpin,because you wouldn't do a Norman Osborn Goblin figure without a glider. How stupid would that be?

Kingpin gets a 4.33 as his final score. He was close to Perfection but he needed a little bit of oomph! The satisfied now is that I have to get another Kingpin wave to make a Shadow King.

Jun 12, 2019

MOTU Origins: second thoughts

After a good night's sleep... or morning in my case, I took a second look at the MOTU oranges Adam and He-Man...
They still stink and I don't like them. Before you ask no this isn't related to the death of Classics; I just simply don't like these guys.
I don't mind that they are 5 and 1/2 inch scale. In fact I think that's a pretty smart move for my tell if they're going for a mass retail toy line for kids... the problem is that the line isn't end for kids but for 30 to 40-somethings that are fans of the original toy line. It's kind of nice that they can fit with the old play sets and toys, but I do have a few issues.
My main beef is the faux vintageness of them. They look off and that breaks the illusion.
-The extra heads and hands make these a lot less child friendly than the originals.
-Price point... Funko's faux vintage MOTU styled toys are usually $10. Super7's faux vintage Filmation toys are $20... These have extra hands and heads... How much will Mattel charge for these? I'm guessing they're going to be in the $20 range which makes them ridiculously expensive.  (IF Mattel doesn't get greedy)

Personally speaking they could have stayed five and a half inch but gone in a different style Direction.
Shrunken down Classics with a bit less articulation  would've been a million times better than this bad vintage imitation... ( I can't believe this is made by The Four Horsemen) maybe the art style of the mini Masters but in five and a half inch scale would have been even better than what we got.  Or keep the same bodies they have now while fixing the elbow and wrist articulation. While adding vintage-inspired heads but made for modern times. Like the vintage toy Oo-Larr head from classics.

It's He-Man! I'm supposed to like this by default but, it looks like shit! To those who like them well good for you enjoy but I'm not getting these. Unless they make 200X stuff in this style... That could tempt me.

Ugly fake vintage New MOTU is what killed Classics.

After we get Snake Mountain, there will be no more MOTUC... or so it seems. Mattel revealed a new MOTU SDCC exclusive.

Faux vintage figures with added elbow articulation, interchangeable heads and hands.

People like them and I don't get it. They look even more bootleggy than Super7's faux vintage. The added articulation looks awful. The interchangeable hands and added articulation  break the vintage aesthetic.

This is what Mattel doesn't get. If you want to emulate the vintage style you must go all the way, not go half modern, half vintage... especially when doing the tous on vintage scale... if this is Mattel's new direction, I'm sticking to Marvel Legends.

It's obvious that these (if the rumor is true) will be Mattel's MAIN MOTU toyline until the movie. Seeing they have no interest in MOTUC (as seen with the death of Matty) we can pretty much assume that MOTUC is dead.

Jun 10, 2019

March 3, 2020... Gotta go back to Midgar...

To visit my 3 best People at the Seventh Heaven Bar...
Tifa Lockhart...

Normally, the joke would be followed by left and right tits, but watch the trailer...
Aerith, Tifa... SEPHIROTH!!!
Damn, son! 15 year old me has a massive erection right now... Not sure if it's due to Tifa looking like our crush back then, or if it's the gameplay... The sewer Sahagin looked sweet as well as the Aps fight... It seems that Motorcycle chases will be more than a one time event...
Holy crap!! There are new twists and turns to keep veteran FFVII players distracted... current year me is getting a nerdrection as well...

March 3, 2020 seems so close, yet so far...


2 Discs long? Sweet!Game will be Just Midgar? Nani!? Basically:
First Reactor bombing, escape to Sector7, bombing Reactor 5, falling to Sector5, becoming Aerith's bodyguard, Wall Market Mission, falling in Corneo's trap, escaping to Sector7, save Barret and Marlene from the bombing of Sector7, climbing to the Shinra Bulding from Wall Market, Infiltrate the Shinra Building, Crazy Motorcycle Chase, end of game? Shit, this will have more filler than Naruto.
Battles look pretty though... dat attack scorpion... I mean Scorpion Sentinel...
Pre-order DLC SUMMON Materia!? Dammit!

X-Men the Last Stand I mean dark Phoenix the rant

came I saw and I want my money back. While NOT AWFUL, the movie is a cruel reminder of hpw Fpx has mismanaged the X-Men franchise. So okay remember in Apocalypse when the Phoenix manifested on Jean when she fought Apocalypse? Well this movie reckons that because genes first interaction with the Phoenix is in space while saving some astronauts. Oh yeah remember that whole part that Humanity hates mutants well now they love them and they're basically the Avengers of the fox Marvel Universe.

 The movie has a few cringy lines especially the x-women line from Jennifer Lawrence. Sansa was very, very cringy most of the movie. Song was severely under used in the movie... Okay they did use her to shoot lightning bolts that generic human enemies that were really aliens and as an ice dispenser machine at a party. Magneto plays a secondary role in the movie. I wonder if they added him just because they had Fassbender in a contract. Jennifer Lawrence was practically a cameo appearance since they kill her off in the First Act. Penis Summers is a prop. It's as if the writers hate Cyclops. Also hell has frozen over. There was absolutely zero Wolverine in this movie.

The villains, the D'Bari are blander than tapioca pudding. They're even more one dimensional than Brie Larson... and lile Cyclops,  they were more props than characters.

Watch Arabian Hitch instead of this...

Jun 8, 2019

90s X-Men theme intensifies...

Hasbro has grabbed my by the scrotum...
They got me with the 90s Gambit, Beast and Jubilee... (once Ent. Earth ships these two)
Also, the upcoming Logan figure. A Kraven's Last Hunt 2 pack is in queue... now we have this:
Do you see what I see?

Now this video can be updated with ALL HASBRO ML!!

I preordered Storm, for Obvious reasons, Silver Samurai, and Dazzler. Still need to get a couple of Apocalypse, Kingpin, and Caliban BAF pieces (and the characters they come with...) before tackling Wendigo.

BTW, we're a 8" Sentinel, and a redone Spiral short of completing the Capcom X-Men: Children of the Arom roster.

Speakimg of 90s X-Men... what if I told you that execs have hit Disney to revive...

Well... they are trying to revive X-Men the animated series. I'm VERY excited. A bit scared, but mostly excited... I fear recasts and animation style changes if it happens.

Jun 7, 2019

Something happening with Parasite Eve!?

For real? This is not a joke? All we know is that Square Enix made a trademark filing for Parasite Eve. Is it a new game or Port of the original compilation series I have no freaking idea... I kind of wish we could get like a compilation of Parasite Eve ParasiteEve 2 to 3rd birthday an English translation of the original novel and Hell while we're at it the movie. That way we could get refresher course on Parasite Eve for a 4th game if you catch my drift.

I know Parasite Eve is a very weird option for a game to be remade since I know people are going to say Final Fantasy 8, Final Fantasy 9, Final Fantasy Tactics, Xenogears Tobal number one, Chocobo racing,chocobo's mysterious dungeon... okay I'm joking on those last two but I could use a sequel to Chocobo racing. Why don't  we have an Ehrgeiz 2?

Worst case scenario would be Square Enix simply renewing their trademarks to protect their IP.

An idiot at Marvel Studios doesn't understand "X-Men"

Victoria Alonso, idiot, producer at Marvel Studios thinks that the X-Men are sexist because of the MEN in the title.
Let me help that idiot:
According to The Dictionary, Men means:
Plural of Man:

What is a Man?

1: an adult male person, as distinguished from a boy or a woman.

2: a member of the species Homo sapiens or all the members of this species collectively, without regard to sex.

3: the human individual as representing the species, without reference to sex; the human race; humankind.

It's NOT sexist or "outdated" to have the team named X-Men...
Let's look at the Title: X-Men...
We already stated that Men is a way to describe humans in general without specifying sex. Then we have the "X"...

The X has many meanings:
X coming from Xavier... "Xavier's Men", while not the real reason it works.

X being the symbol for unknown variable. Just like each mutant's power. You could get super strength, ir the ability to taste colors.
X is the default letter for sci-fi tropes to explain something mysterious or ominous... (Chemical X, Planet X, Laboratory X, Weapon X...) add the X to a word and boom.

X as in eXtra something that makes them more than average...

So we have: a Mysterious group of people of both sexes that are part of a Mysterious team lead by a man known as Professor Charles Xavier. All members of the team have something eXtra that puts them on a different level than most people. Also, these abilities are as distinct as each member...

So, in conclusion: X-Men is the best way to describe the team...

While we can joke about X-people, "Men" is the best suffix for X-folks...

Look at this sentence:

"I am Cyclops, an X-man."

Now look at this one:

"I am Cyclops, one of the X-people."

Or this one:

"I am Cyclops, an X-folk."

Not only that but most of the really cool superheroes have MAN as a suffix in their name...
Super, Bat, Spider, Aqua, Wonder Wo...

Also, it's the name of the freaking brand! It has been for 50+ years!

What happened to Variable Geo?

I know that I'm skirting in dangerous territory... but then again, I AM amassing a small harem of Queen's Blade figures... So far Melona, Echidna, Menace, and Cattleya elude me.(I may be able to own a Chinese bootleg Melona IF I wasn't scammed on eBay)
OK, Bran Wen, Annelotte and Aldra elude me as well, but those 3 were limited releases and now are ultra expensive! So, after messing around with the figures. And letting 14 year old me put them in the most uncomfortable positions and in the most stages of undress possible an idea sparked...

What happened to Variable Geo? I know the last thing related to the brand was the VG Neo anime. I only played the Original VG game and the Super Famicom port of Advanced VG (minus the H-scenes) I did see both the Original anime and the VG Neo anime... Being brutally honest, I wasn't much of a fan of VG Neo... it was more focused in being a Hentai anime than having an actual plot.
It's been over 10 years since the last game came out and nothing. There were a few statues and that's about it...

Kaiyodo's Queen's Blade figures made me think about Variable Geo as a toyline that I would be interested in.
I haven't seen any gameplay from VG Neo... (if it's a visual novel, then I'm completely SOL due to the YouTube rules.)

Being a Japan exclusive eroge is kinda what screws everyone from playing a decent fighting game.
Well, back when it was a fighting game...

But a small line (about 9-12 figures) would cover most if not all the important slots in the main games... (before VG Neo) and YES it would require the interchangeable clothing for battle damage/humiliation mode.

Jun 5, 2019

I survived the 2019 SDCC NECApocalypse Pre-order scramble... also Mattel is Savage!

Day 1 of the 3 day NECA SDCC Preorder micro window was a success... for me. Didn't get the Alien or Predator stuff. Didn't get John Connor...
But I got a NECA Shredder to go with my movie TMNT...
I was able to get the Foot Clan set to match last year's Turtles!!

This was as bad as the Early days of struggling with Mattycollector... but I BARELY made it through.
Do NOT use a videogame console to order... it will give you a couple of scares.

Mattel is going Savage... and I don't mean Fred Savage.
No, not Ben Savage... though I would buy Boy Meets World action figures... especially one of

No, not Eric Matthews, but of Mr. Feeny... that's a rant for another day... we're talking about Mattel being Savage...
Let's skip Adam and go straight to the obvious Savage...

Yes, they are doing an Exclusive Randy Savage... I wouldn't be talking about it unless... I'm hungry. If there was something I could eat and related to Randy Savage...

Yes, they're doing a Slim Jim Randy Savage...
And the package is even more awesome
I just saw the pics and I'm tempted... I'm most likely not getting this after spending obscene amounts of money on a MOTUC Backdrop, A Shredder and Splinter, plus other miscellaneous stuff... *cough* Queen's Blade figures*cough* to please the 14 year old pervert inside you*cough* Oh Myy!

Jun 4, 2019

Magic 8 ball, do you have Shenmue 3 info? (Odds and end June 4th) *language*

Yes but it's not good...

Hello Everyone,

Today, Yu Suzuki & Deep Silver would like to give a message concerning the release date.

Shenmue III will now release on 19th November 2019.
 As much as it sucks that it's delayed that's actually good news.
Besides, this delay was a bit expected... at least it wasn't delayes until March 2020...

Magic 8-Ball, are the people at Mattel snorting cocaine out of a dead prostitute's butt crack?

It's because they're working with Blumhouse to make a movie about you...

Seriously, a Magic 8-ball movie? I mean witb the Ouija board, you have the whole demons spelling stuff... wait, is the Ouija board a Demonic spelling bee? The 8 ball has nothing but preset yes, no, maybe... answers.  Lay off the drugs, Mattel... stick to the brands that could actually carry a movie... like Barbie, Hot Wheels, Street Sharks... you know, brands with plot...

I know what you're thinking, Scott Neitlich hatong mysterious Mattel employee... Why didn't I mention He-Man... That's because you let Sony fuck it up worse than they did Ghostbusters, or the Andrew Garfield Spider-Douche movies.

Jun 3, 2019

George RR Martin finds another excuse to not write

I really don't know which is less likely to happen the Todd McFarlane Spawn movie or George RR Martin finishing glass new books from the A Song of Ice and Fire series. Well Georgie found another project to get involved that does not have him writing the last two damned books. I honestly don't know what I meow wolf is but goddammit George Wright finished the last two books then you can do whatever you want with your life! Do not leave us hanging George...

I know this is the part that some George RR Martin Defenders, say "he's not your trained monkey he can do it at whatever Pace he wants blah blah blah blah blah..."

Normally I would agree but the problem with George is that he's always looking for an excuse to not finished what he started and it's been what? 23 years since he published the first book?  Seriously every time I see his name in news is like: Oh shit he died and it's like he's just looking for another excuse to not write...
Why don't you say something to wake up and it was George RR Martin dead and  the last two books would remain unpublished.

So let's see what happens first Final Fantasy 7 remake or Georgie at least publishes Winds of Winter...

Jun 1, 2019

Top ideas for Walgreens Marvel Legends...

The whole Snake Mountain drama has stressed the Hell out of me last month... I have a buttload of toys that I could review, but I don't want to overdo it... it's Not December.

Since MOTUC is not likely to happen, I'm going with my old new crutch, Marvel Legends:
I'm going for a list of "Walgreens exclusive" figures.
Basically "cheap repaint" heavy on the mix-n-match parts reused type of thing.
Like say:
The Bombastic Bagman, which is a new head on the Reed Richards body with the bare feet from Namor or Weapon X... I guess this is the first guy on the list.

Feral Logan (bone Claws Wolverine)
Take the Brown suit body and put the Tiger stripe colors on it. Add the Feral Weapon X head and new bone claws. (Worst case scenario, beige colored normal claws) if possible add a new head with bandana covering his face.

Quick Change Spider-Man:
Zero new parts. Mix and match civilian body parts, toss in Spidey hands, masked head and Parker head. Ben Reilly repaint would be welcome too.

US Agent:
The guy deserves a redo, since the previous figire was in the smaller Bucky buck and lools puny next to the real Cap. And he's literally a Cap repaint.

Cable: ("uncanny outfit/ToyBiz tribute")
By mashing up the arm of the Juggernaut wave Cable with the upper body of the Sasquatch Cable and the legs of a larger figure (Venom/Omega Red)
You can get an approximation to the Uncanny X-Men cable/MVC2 Cable.

Captain Marvel: (Mar-Vell)
He's literally a new head. The Kaine body. I just want to replace the ToyBiz figure.

Black Spider-suit Kraven:
Yes I know that Target has a Kraven's last hunt two-pack set. But it's basically cloth black suit Spidey versus Sergei Kravinoff in his classic Hunter attire. What I want is Sergei Kravinoff in the black suit Spider-Man outfit. Translation in action figure form would be reusing the king body painted in symbiote spidey colors and tossing in the Kraven head as an extra.

Classic Shocker:
He's a repaint of the Sandman wave Shocker, but toss a Norman Osborn head and this fogure has now added value.

Firestar: yellow outfit
All we need is a new head to complete the token female of the Amazing Spider friends.

Gwen Stacy:
No, not Spider-Gwen, but Gwen, I had sex with Norman Osborn, then he killed me, Gwen... Toss in a Miles Warren head for the Jackal figure... added value.

Classic Vulture:
Darkhawk's biceps with wings could be reused with a new head and neckpiece. (Worst case scenario reuse the Ultimate head)

Rick Jones:
Like the Quick Change Spidey, they have the body already. All we'd need is a head. Maybe toss in a Smart Hulk head for the two-pack Hulk for added value. (And some Nega Bands as a nod with Rick's tume with the Vells.)

Hellfire Club Guard:
An army builder who only needs a new head and guard stick. Maybe toss in a couple of extra heads. Like dented mask, clawed mask...

These are the first figures from the top of my head... I tried to keep the amount of new parts to a minimum... otherwise I would've suggested Modular Armor Ironman  (with mullet head for Tony) Super Skrull, armored DD, Masked Ben Grimm with bodysuit, Ironheart, 90s Kaine, among others.

I also tried to keep it to recognizable characters in order to avoid clogged pegs...

It came from the toy chest bad Hugh Jackman Movie Edition

This time I'm doing a 2 for 1 review, because I can, bub!  See what I did there? I said "bub" because it's a Wolverine review and he ends his sentences with... yeah...
It's Wolverine I don't think I have to explain who he is and what he does because he's the best he is at what he does and what he does ain't  nice, bub! Oops! I did it again! Not the Britney Spears reference, the bub thing! So sabertooth the Killer Canadian mutant that is kind of like Wolverine but not exactly like Wolverine. An Infamous comic made him Jewish... but we won't talk about that. Let's talk about Sabertooth being an Iron Fist villain.
Sabretooth was an Iron villain until he was further  developed as a rival to the X-Man, Wolverine.

He's basically Wolverines dark self just like Bizarro is for  Superman, Venom is for Spider-Man... you get the idea.

 theoretically speaking Weapon X has the same articulation as brown suit Wolverine since they share most of the same sculpt. In reality The Weapon X accessories like the batteries and the wires attached to his body limit the articulation to an extent he still has a decent range of articulation.

Creed on the other hand it's not restricted by any accessories but the lack of butterfly pectorals kind of limit about the posters you can do with him.

Paint and sculpt
In the case of Weapon X they did a really great job. While I'm not exactly a huge fan of the helmetless head it does captured the look Wolverine had at the time and it also has a little bit of a Savage Logan vibe to it. It could also be used as a second head for a bone claw Wolverine. The battery packs and older gizmos or doodads that he has attached look pretty good the paint was slightly sloppy slop in a few areas here but other than that he looks really great.

Creed on the other hand... well there's something off with him! I can't quite put my finger on it but there is something off with him. Other than that he looks great, a bit short, but overall a great looking Sabretooth...

Logan comes with an extra head and the BAF part.
I could cheat and count all the do hickeys as accessories but so far they don't seem to be removable.

 Creed only comes with the BAF part

Weapon X gets a 4.0 as his final score. He is a bit better than the toy Biz version but at the same time there's something missing with him... don't get me wrong I like him but I feel like it needed something to make him a bit cooler.

Sabretooth gets a 4.33 as his final score. I think the thing that bugs me about him is in the head and the Furry main thing there's something off there I just can't quite put my finger on it. I also wish his forearm fans were a bit bigger but that's just me other than that he's so great I'll be it a bit short Sabretooth.