Mar 30, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Tonight I dine on Turtle Soup... in time!


Mike: He's getting away, dudes!
April: Let me... Don't let me go!
Shredder: You'll never catch me, 

I have a "cartoon"-ish version of Shredder. Well, technically a videogame version, but that's a modern "Military camo" version of the "Cartoon Shredder". Finally a non-Mirage Shredder to display with Rocksteady and Bebop. My SH FIGUARTS TMNT are getting some figures to display with.

Leo: We finally caught you, Shredder!
Shredder: Not so fast Turtles! Unless you want me to destroy your reporter friend!
Don: Is he aware that we can say Kill, since we're not in a children's cartoon, but on a tiny blog run by a...
Nefty VO: Be careful of what you're going to say, Donatello.
Don: dude who loves edgy fan parodies, but hates when the official versions become pointly edgy parodies of themselves like Zack Snyder's DCEU...
Nefty VO: Good...
Raph: Now that we finished rambling withour new god, can i mention Shredder's fleshlight?
Nefty: I didn't notice that... Thank you, Raphael!
Mikey: wait... Did Shredder tie April like they do in my hentai collection?

If you have a Mirage Shredder, or a Toon Shredder, then you know what to expect here. Since all three figures are virtually the same, aside one or two sculpt details, but these don't hinder the articulation in any visible way.
Shredder: Turtles! Welcome to die!!
*sword turns on*
Mike: Wait was that an X-Men arcade reference?
Raph: Forget the arcade game, now he's gonna have Mickey riding our asses...
Don: I don't know about Mickeyhimself, Raph, but his army of lawyers totally will!
Leo: BROTHERS!! Turtles fight with Honor and we will defend Mickey from Shredder's copyright infringement!
April: Seriously? 

Paint and sculpt 
The figure is a based on the cartoon Shredder figure which is a modified version of The Mirage Shredder. There are some slight scope differences on this version like less spikes on his armor, bigger shoulders spikes. Despite this the figure still reads as Shredder.
Shredder: Donarudo Toranpo no manko gurabu!
Raph: Aaargh!
Shredder: You're male!?
Mike: A Raiden joke! I got the reference!
Leo: This is no time to talk about Metal Gear!!
Don: I barely dodged being grabbed by the pussy...
April: I was grabbed by the pussy once, it isn't as fun as former president Trump claimed!

The paint job is the full pixel art look that is reminiscent of modern army camouflage. The colors are very bright and have rather sharp contrast to mimic video game Pixel Art.
Leo: How come his not a lightsaber is not cutting through my katana blades?
Don: I made them from Plot Armor...
Mike: wait, Leo's swords are made fom anime boobs and butts?
Don: NO!!
Mike: Booya see it wasn't that difficult Ray Fisher kasha!!
Shredder: I thought you said Cowabunga...
Mike: times change...
Shredder: Donarudo Toranpo...

4 extra hands. Mine has a slight defect in one left hand, which is probably why it was sold so cheap... 
Shredder: No manko gurabu!
Leo: Aargh!
Mike: My face!!
Don: Dammit! I Hit his armor!

2 video game based energy effects.
1 laser sword it's not a lightsaber even if it looks like one.
Shredder: 3 down, only the nerd kneels...
Don: I'm not kneeling. I'm dodging...
Shredder: Nani!?
???: Omae wa mou shindairu..

TiT Shredder gets a 4.5 as his final score... uh-huh-huh! Tit Shredder... heheh! Sadly, this is not a perfect substitute for the toon Shredder. I mean if I had the patience to properly disassemble and repaint him he'd be perfect. I don't have the patience and I don't have the fancy paints to replicate the cartoon look. I also lack the skills to properly make him a cartoon accurate cape. 
Mike: Wait, did Master Splinter just bust a cap on Shredder's ass?
Don: Technically his chest, Mikey, but yeah.
Shredder: I thought you were a man of honor, Hamato Yoshi...
Splinter: Ah, Oroku Saki, that is where you are wrong... Hamato Yoshi is no longer a man, or did you forget I am a rat now. Snake Eyes uses guns and he is ninja...
Shredder: Curse you GI J...

Don: Let me help you, Leo...
Raph: It's not like I didn't need any help or anything...
Splinter: Raphael! Stop whining like a little bitch!
Mike: (whispering) Do I have to untie you?
April: (whispering) if you want that handy, you better.
Mikey: (whispering) Come on! I even got kicked in  face by Shredder! Let me touch something!
April: OK...
Mikey: Will you call me Don Francisco?
April: Don't push it Cory Matthews!
Mikey:She got the reference!!

Splinter: Well, looks like I am avenged... Shredder's dead no, so Pizza time?
Leo: Master, this victory feels a bit hollow...
Splinter: Well, Nefty doesn't own a Casey Jones, so I couldn't go Abby Anderson on him.
Don: We still have Krang and the Technodrome to deal with...
Mike: Mmmm! If you're this hot in your twenties, you're going to be some prime MILF in your 40s...
April: Mikey, you're aware that I'd have to be a mother to become a MILF...
Mikey: I could fix that...
Raph: Damn, you two! Cut that crap out!
April: Sorry... it's just that I'm tired of being kidnapped by Shredder nearly every single day. Despite being New York's hottest reporter, people avoid me like the plague...
I'M AN EMPOWERED WOMAN AND IF I WANT TO COMMIT INTERSPECIES EPHEBOPHILIA, GODDAMMIT, I WILL!! Besides, thanks to the patriarchy, I'll get a milder sentence because vagina...
Raph: hakuna your tatas. We're trying to deal with having fulfilled  half of our lives purpose here...
Mike: We did?
Raph: Ueah, we did, Capitain Horndog!
Splinter: Go home and celebrate my sons. I will give Shredder the burial he deserves.

Splinter: For your actions, you don't deserve a proper burial...

I COULD end the review here, but since it's the end of a special day, let's keep going!
Roadkill Rodney
They weren't videogame exclusive characters!!
Don: We have to be careful...
Raph: I wanna smash them...
Mike: I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going!!

The Roadkill Rodneys are annoying little turd robots that dig their way into trouble. Think a Unicycle with tentacles and a cute little laser gun.
RkR1: Stop! Turtles! Destroy!
RkR2: Crush! Kill! Destroy! Swag!
Leo: We have to time our attacks carefully.
Don: How cute, they're Naruto running...
Mike: Dude, you're a ninja... Doyou run by leaning back? No, then they aren't Naruto running. When we lean forward to run, we are Naruto running...
Raph: When did Mikey get so smart?
Leo: FOCUS!!

Normally, these come with a Triceraton, but I managed to snag a pair on ebay sans the Triceraton.
RkR1: La-la-la...
Raph:Lazer my ass... go on "fearless leader" eliminate the weapon to surpass Metal Gear!
Leo: Goddammit Raph,  if you keep this up I'll make you walk with God...
Nefty VO: Leonardo doing a Xenogears reference, specifically a Krelian one?
Don: Eat my staff!!
Mike: Help me brothers, I'm stuck!!
Nefty VO: Mikey, what is it with you and porn references?
Mike: Dude, I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going... 

Due to their unique shape their articulation is not similar to any other figures.
They can rotate at the wheel and the tentacles also rotate at the shoulder there is a hinge in the Torso that opens up to unleash their cute laser. The wheel rotates but not freely since it's not exactly an "action feature". The rotation is to hide the peg hole for their stand.
Normally a humanoid figure would get a really really low rating here but since they are uniquely shaped set of characters, based on their body articulation is plentiful.

Paint and sculpt 
They are mostly Gray in different shades more than one but less than 50... Berry color scheme almost matches the Mirage monsters from past San Diego Comic-Con exclusives...
This is totally a non subtle reference for NECA making a bucket of mousers and roadkill Rodney's available to the public.
The score matches the visual representation of the roadkill Rodney mostly going by the video games since that's where I've seen him used more often.

Drillbit top
Battle damaged top. While it's made perfectly for the NECA Raphael Sai the SH FIGUARTS sai kind of fits in there while the Super 7 sai is too big.
Skidding dirt stand. This one attaches to the wheel so the figure can actually stand without falling.
Digging dirt stand. You remove the head from the body and attach it to this mall send it to simulate Rodney digging out of the ground.
Long arm to capture Turtles and in the case of the video game zap them as well.

Roadkill Rodney gets a 4.83 as his final score.
NECA really did a great job with the little buggers. Mecca should consider reducing more roadkill Rodney's in a pack with multiple mousers.
Shredder: Wait, if You're Shredder and I'm Shredder does this mean that you could have intervened when the Turtles kicked my ass?
M. Shredder: Why do you smell like rat piss?

Mar 29, 2021

Odds and ends 3-29-21

 Another day, another year... and Zack Snyder fans are still being toxic. Now they're review bombing Gojira v. KING KONG.

I only found 4 one star ratings related to the Snyderverse, but that's because IMDB has become aware of the reviee bombing and has been deleting the fake reviews with Restore the Snyderverse on them. Screen rant had many more than I did.

Don't be an idiot. You like the Snyderverse, fine. Watch the movie a million times on HBO Max. Buy the physical release when it comes out. But trashing every other WB property and dropping a Hashbrown RESTORETHESNYDURRVERSE makes you look like a toxic cultist. You're literally giving WB ammunition to their "Anti-Snyder" argument.

I just received a Turtles in time Loose Shredder Figure. It's arrival reminded me of the Pinball Crate that was supposed to be sold on Wal-Mart... wonder what the heck happened to it? Mostly because I need a cartoon inspired Shredder and this is the closest thing to one without having to give away my first born child.

Suicide Squad, not sure if it's a sequel or reboot looks interesting... in a good way.
It has characters, color, not completely depressing, and it dares to go OUT THERE  by bringing in freaking Starro... something that Zack Pizza Cutter Snyder wouldn't dare to do. Now watch as his toxic avengers... no relation to the Troma classic, will review bomb this movie too!
Calling it now:
"DuMb KiDdIe MaRvEl MoViE. ReLeAsEtHeSnYdUrRcUt" will be the gist of their spam.

If James Gunn's take on Suicide Squad proves to be a hit, then it could open up the DC Universe to some B and C list characters whose comics don't have a protagonist with clothes that reek of guano. But if it fails, it'll be for two reasons:
-WB being WB and messing up with the product.
-The cult boycotting it because it ain't a 6 hour long Zack Snyder snoozefest.

CW's Powerpuff Girls "spin-off/sequel" is going to suck. While the forced diversity bugs me, that's not the reason why it'll suck. It's the whole premise of them being 20-something washouts who stopped being heroes and now we have CW drama to avoid the standard PPG action.
Now I need to circle back to the "forced diversity" bugging me. I've said it before multiple times and I'll do it again:
Race swapping is wrong, period. White to black, Asian to White, Black to Latino, etc. If a character has a detailed description on the source material, then the actor should resemble the character as humanly as possible. Swapping races to fill out a quota is wrong. It's disrespectful to the character AND to the actor portraying the part.

With that out of my system, ley me circle back to the premise sucking:

I already mentioned the faux CW drama being a huge issue. This will change the premise of PPG and turn it into another CW soap instead of an action adventure show starring 3 girls. 

Fuzzy Lumpkins, Amoeba Boys, Him, Mojo Jojo, and Gangreen Gang just to name a few characters who'd eat up effects budget. Willing to bet that many of these might get a "Human disguise" in order to save money.

Also, what is it with "darkening children's properties" adding "sex and violence" in order to seem "mature"? That's not matire, that's an immature person's idea of "being mature".

Mar 28, 2021

Top 5 Princess of Power Characters I'd like to see in MOTUO

 I know I don't write often about MOTUO... but since I have a She-Ra sitting in my Pile of Loot, it made me think... While the entire roster of Princess of Power may not be possible, because "reasons" Mattel should work something out qith certain KEY characters.

If we have the face of the Princess of Power line, we need the line's "Skeletor"... ues, Hordak is her "Skeletor" storywise, but in the TOYS, Catra was her Skeletor. For the sake of balance we NEED her.

Swift Wind:
He man has Battlecat Skeletor has Panthor, therefore She-Ra needs Swift Wind. Also the horse body could be reused onTeela's unicorn, Charger.

Yeah, like I'm gonna make a Princess of Power list and not include my favorite rebel.

Male Teela. Also the only canonical love interest for She-Ra that is not Tangled in Filmation rights.

He's  the Orko of Princess of Power.

While it would be neat to have the entire original line redone in Origins Style, I know this is highly unlikely due to their weird property limbo that the She-Ra section of the brand is and some sectors of the fandom hate She-Ra stuff.

Mar 27, 2021

Why Restore the Snyderverse is unlikely to happen.

 The cult has started a new harassment campaign: Restore the Snyderverse. They're already spamming it anywhere they can and even reacted angrily towards a WB exec who said that bad behavior would not be tolerated... She was literally criticizing the toxic elements of fandoms and guess which "non-toxic" group reacted violently...

The Snydercut, that didn't really exist until 2020, only happened because HBO Max needed a big hook. The Snyder cut was supposed to be it... it wasn't. It got it's ass kicked by the awful WW84. I won't pretend it didn't fix some issues from the studio release. I won't pretend that it was a much better movie either, because a lot of the issues the theatrical cut had, are still present here... but this rant is not about Snyder taking a dump on the DCEU. This rant is wby it's unlikely that the Snyderverse would continue.

WB owns DC, not Zack Snyder.
This is the most important thing. Whether we hate how WB interferes with directors (regardless if the directors are good or bad), WB OWNS DC Comics and they have the final word on the DC stuff.

If WB says No, there is nothing anyone can do.

Their plans do not include Snyder.
After the failure of launching a cinematic universe to rival the MCU, WB reverted to their  unconnected properties plan. Bringing along the controversial director who FAILED at bringing over a Billion in a movie featuring DC's Holy Trinity, is not a sound business move to them. With that said, WB's plans tend to suck. 

Toxic behavior won't be tolerated. 
The New CEO mentioned this and the cult didn't like that. Seriously, dudes, if you want the Snyderverse, sending death threats to the people with the actual power to deliver what you want is counter productive.
You want to see more of Snyder, prove to WB that you aren't toxic. Denounce the toxicity and run a clean campaign.

It's kinda hard to campaign for something, when the person you're doing it for, DOESN'T WANT TO DO WHAT YOU WANT.
If Snyder doesn't want to come back, then there is no Snyderverse...
Ben Affleck is 48 at the time. He's getting a bit too old for the dietary and action regime that this kind of movies requires. Henry Cavill is 37. Gal Gadot is 35. By the time Zack feels like making Superhero movies again and Warner allows Zack to come back, the Holy Trinity might be a bit too old to play these characters.

So, go ahead, knock yourselves out with your little hashbrown... just keep it clean, without threats or harassment and keep those expectations low.

Mar 26, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Picture it, December 19, 1984

 Tensions are running high in the San Fernando Valley in California. Especially in the All Valley Under 18 Karate Tournament. We have on one side, John Lawrence, a rough around the edges teenager, who is not a saint, but isn't a bad guy. Sure, he's a bit competitive and a bit rough, but he's an 80s kid who does Karate. On the other side we have an abusive bully, Daniel LaRusso. He's into butting in where he wasn't invited, sucker punching people, then calling them bullies when they defend themselves, likes to instigate fights, often tormenting John Lawrence, caused a car accident on Halloween night, after challenging John Lawrence to Mortal Combat at the dojo where Lawrence practices, LaRusso kept taunting and harassing Lawrence and friends. Aided by a demon sorcerer, LaRusso cheated his way to victory.

As you may have guessed, this means I own both John Lawrence and Daniel LaRusso figures by Icon Heroes. Time for some Joe Esposito... or some random music that sounds like it was made for a different videogame. 

Real Karate vs Bullshit House chores...

Both figures have a decent range of articulation. Most of the key poses can be achieved by them. That includes the illegal kick pose.
Yes, it's a Robot Chicken reference.
But Illegal Kick pose can be done without a stand. (Not a JoJo reference)

Even a Hadoken pose can kinda be pulled off. The lack of Butterfly joints on the torso hurts them a little. Which would have helped also with blocking forces or in LaRusso's case wax on-whacks off, sando furoa poses. The pants limit the articulation at the ankles. In my Johnny Lawrence figure his right leg is a bit loose.
Wrong Johnny, but this is far better
than sweeping the leg!

Paint and sculpt
The paint work on these figures is really good. There are many details Tampographed onto the figures. And it seems that most of the body parts are molded in the appropriate colors.
The only issue I have is that the face sculpt is not that great on the figures. Larusso looks like Ray Romano instead of Ralph Macchiato. Enjoy a nice case he looks like 20/20 William Zabka instead of 1984 William Zabka. Before anyone asks I know that LaRusso's actor is Ralph Macchio but for many many years I called him Ralph Macchiato, because for some strange reason I couldn't say Ralph Macchio, so this is just keeping an inside joke alive. Since I'm rambling I'm going to drop a little random fact here in the Latin American dub of The Karate Kid the voice of Larusso is the same boys ask Leonardo the Ninja Turtle, Carlton Banks,and Adult Gohan from DBZ. Mr. Miyagi was the voice of Michelangelo the Ninja Turtle and Hordak.
On the second Latin American dub, LaRusso is James from Team Rocket, Iruka sensei from Naruto, Mousse from Ranma 1/2. Miyagi is still Michelangelo.

But what about Johnny? Let me google that. On the original dub John Lawrence is Egon Spengler, Yami Marik, Professor Utonium, and The Count...
On the second Latin American dub he was:
SHREK, Zeo Jason, MMPR Billy, Dr. Evil, and have mercy... Uncle Jesse.

Yes I'm padding the review with these bits of random trivia because the face sculpts are a bit whack.

Like OG Dub Kreese is Bow, Freddy Krueger, 
Ray Stantz, and Rambo.
Dub 2 Kreese is Gendo Ikari, JJJ, Hugh Jackman's Wolverine, Noelle Stevenson's "Hordak". Holy crap the second dub of The Karate Kid has Dueling Hordaks...

And Alli with an I is two Lisas: Simpson and Turtle. She's also Sailor Moon, Linka, and the real Adora... the one who isn't into incestuous zoophilac lesbian sex. Hmm! 

Nefty! Get back to the review!! This isn't six degrees of voice acting!

Right, the review... The head sculpts are whack. I don't know what it is with these companies lately that they make some beautiful prototypes and then during production everything goes to hell.
It pains me, but I have to give them a lower score here.
See? They're shaking hands! 
Good Sportsmanship!! Still
LaRusso is a dick!

2 heads
4 hands
These are tournament versions of the characters so it's understandable that they have less accessories. My only gripe with the accessories lies with the hands. Interchangeable the hands feel very fragile especially with the ridiculously long thin bag used on them. They are really hard to pull out and I'm afraid I might break them. The heads are easier to swap since they have an older style Hasbro Marvel Universe type of head or GI Joe style but on 1:12 scale figures.
They scale pretty well with other 1:12 figures. Shame that we don't have an Ali with an I... or a Kreese, or a Miyagi, or an overpriced vintage truck...

Both figures get a 4.17 as their final score.
I understand the review feels kind of lazy says both figures are rated about the same. Honestly it's not that I'm being lazy it's just that the figures are identical to each other save for the heads and uniform colors. Okay the only real difference is on the arms where Daniel hat sleeves and Johnny is sleeveless other than that they're virtually the same figure. I like these figures, but being brutally honest they are not $40 figures. At best they're  $22-$33 figures. I was lucky to get them from a secondary Market seller who was selling them at a loss. The Karate Kid fan and me would have liked to see more of these figures like Daniel and Johnny in normal clothes, Miyagi, Kreese, Alli, Kumiko, Chozen, Terry Silver, Mike Barnes, hell even Julie... and that without getting into Cobra Kai territory with Pussy Old Johnny, Car Salesman LaRusso, the kids... but at $40 a pop, just get me Miyagi and Kreese. Screw Chozen, Screw Terry Silver, Screw Mike Barnes,  and screw the entire Cobra Kai line!

Mar 25, 2021

Disney Afternoon wants my wallet...

 Name ONE SHOW from Disney Afternoon that warrants a set of super articulated figures?

I'll wait here until you say Gargoyles.

Yes, Disney's Gargoyles is getting a toyline... and it's NOT Super7... it's NECA!!
 I mean Holy crap look at that Goliath... hopefully this will not be tied to a Target or Walmart... otherwise, I'm SOL... I still haven't seen any of the Defenders of the Earth.

Since this is NECA, I expect:
Goliath, Thailog, Stone Goliath, Stone Thailog as a minimum, then stone variants of any gargoyle released... Broadway better come with gun wielding hands. 

The only thing that scares me is NECA's QC.
But holy crap, man! FREAKING GARGOYLES!!

In defense of Joss Whedon: a Justice League rant

 By  title alone, I just enraged 2 sets of people:

-people with bad taste in movies who worship a mediocre Michael Bay wannabe.

-people who love witch hunts and would toss their entire family into the fire for "woke points".

My rant is directed at the first group. This is because, I don't care if Joss Whedon is a racist, sexist, whatever. I can't judge his character on hearsay. Or judge him today on his behavior 30-ish years ago. This is about the Snyder Cult and their crazy theories about Whedon "ruining Justice League".

Whedon did nothing wrong. Just because YOU didn't like it, doesn't mean he "did it wrong". He didn't do a bad movie on purpose. He didn't sabotage the movie to serve Disney. He did his job. Was it a good job? No, but not because of Whedon being "a bad director". It was a "hack job" because WB wanted an impossible feat to be done. Fit a 4 hour story into a 2 hour runtime WHILE REDOING EVERYTHING in less than half a year. In this case, Warner bros. was the villain here. Whedon was brought in as a script doctor. Snyder was supposed to do some reshoots with the changes mandated by the studio. Due to his daughter dying, he couldn't and WB, did what they did to protect their assests and profits. 

A 5 months deadline, less budget than an indie movie, an uncooperative cast, and a studio changing their minds on their demands quite often... no wonder Whedon was pissed off and angry most of the time. Whether hate the 2017 theatrical release or not, Whedon must be commended for delivering a mostly watchable movie with those limitations. As much as you may want to deny it, the Theatrical cut WAS very similar to Snyder's in hindsight cut. It had a lot cut out in order to fit the studio mandated runtime, but a lot of what was left as very similar to what Snyder delivered.

Focus on the similarities, not on the differences and you will see how little pure Whedon is in the movie.

Before you mention cringy lines like "Barry discusses brunch" Need I remind you of the entire "Barry trying to get a dog walker (not to be confused with Doug Walker, the Nostalgia Critic) job" scene. Don't even start with sexism and mention the anime cliche scene by Whedon, when Snyder had Alfred check out WW, Barry asking Cyborg if Diana would go for a younger man, or Barry creepily caressing Iris's hair as she flies to her death... And before I forget, Snyder had Creepy shirt sniffer. So, don't go there...
The "Brunch speech" was to showcase Barry's awkwardness. This  was done to compensate for the removal of Barry's rants about the old lady at the bus and the whole Résumé lines. Had Snyder faced the same limitations as Whedon had for the 2017 version, the end result would have been similar... don't believe me? Now if we had a Snyder movie that had to be edited down to a shorter runtime losing themes, subplots and being almost a different movie from the Director's cut...
If only there was some movie that could show how bad Zack Snyder's movies could be when edited down to fit a runtime...

Is there even such a movie?

Dammit, nothing comes to mind. He said with sarcasm dripping out of his mouth...

Any director put on the situation where Whedon was for Justice League would've made a bad movie, BECAUSE OF WB BEING MORE INTERESTED IN SECURING Q4 PROFITS. And THAT is the real problem.

It's no secret that I HATE over 90% of Zack Snyder's choices for the DC Universe, but most of the blame lies on Warner Brothers. They have the track record of royally screwing directors and demanding changes to the point of making a director and their star quit, forcing the studio to find a replacement actor and director...
If WB got rid of Tim Burton and Michael Keaton because of HappyMeals in the 90s, screwing over Zack Snyder AND Joss Whedon was a piece of cake to them. 

Yes, you did, Joss... You tried and you managed to pull something despite EVERYTHING being against you. 

Now here is a challenge for Zack Snyder:
Zack Snyder's Justice League: The 2 Hour cut. Simply taking his 4:02 movie and making it a 2 hour film and keeping up with the studio demands for a mild PG-13 tone. Can he do it? The answer is no.

Then again, Zacky poo is the kinda huy who gets butthurt when people criticize his work.
As Much as I dislike Scott Mendelson, he made a decent point back when the Snydercut trailer was released... and look at butthurt Zack Snyder's reply. Why do I bring this up? Because Zack "I've never seen the theatrical cut of Justice League" Snyder is always throwing shade at it. And by comparatively calling it equal to a Saturday morning cartoon, shows his lack of understanding of the DC Universe.

So, yeah, despite all the bullshit Warner put him through, Whedon managed to pull off a somewhat OK product. He could've walked away, but didn't. He could've refused the offer, since he was only there to work as a script doctor. The guy Literally put his career on the line trying to salvage an impossible project. He was blacklisted after his attempts to salvage Justice League and even more due to Ray Fisher's vendetta. 

Joss Whedon may be a sexist prick, douchebag, and any other insult you may want to throw at him, but until the harassment campaign known as Release the Snyder Cut, he was the last line of defense Zack Snyder had to get something close to what he intended. Whether you like it or not, he did the best he could to mitigate the damage from Studio interference while catering to their whims.

Remember that Burton was replaced by Schumacher... We dodged a McG bullet... think about it.

I will acknowledge Zack Snyder's passion for this project, even if I fundamentally disagree with 90% of his choices. I challenge you tp acknowledge Whedon's passion for this project. Otherwise he wouldn't have been so angry about having to piece this out and appease the studio...

Mar 24, 2021

Top 20 Masterverse potential items that are not figures:

 We have seen He-Man and Battle Cat as items for the upcoming Masterverse line. Now I shall make a list of the top 20 items I'd like to see in the line: The only POP related things I'll touch are Horde related, since Part of the Horde was "MOTU" (Not part of the POP line, so Mattel has a "loophole"?)

20: Slime Pit:
This small playset was not made on the classics line which is a huge sin. With Masterverse, this can be corrected. Technically I'm not asking for a redo of the Vintage or 200X sets. I'm asking for a modern interpretation of either the classic or the 200X set... hell they could give you a brand new version. The point is to have a slime themed playset related to Masters of the Universe again.

19: Eternos Palace:
I'm firing the big guns here. Unlike Castle Grayskull and Snake Mountain, which can be skipped by collectors of classics, Eternos Palace is a new addition to the line. Since this new line in the same scale as classics collectors of this and classics will probably get this playset.

18: Landshark:
Allegedly, the MOTUO Landshark is too small for Classics and Masterverse. I'll verify this once I get mine. Assuming it is, then we want, nay, NEED ONE! Maybe a bit bulkier than the Masterverse figures for the sake of fitting Classics.

17: Road Ripper:
Just like the Landshark, the idea is to have the Road Ripper be compatible with multiple lines. 

16: Dragon Walker:
One of my favorite vehicles as a kid. The 200X version was a better toy, but it didn't excite me as  much as the vintage.

15: Mantisaur:
Hordak needs his steed. Therefore the Mantisaur is on the list.

14: Battle Ram Chariot:
It might have been a 200X vehicle, but it looks badass!

13: Sky Sleds:
Re-releasing the classics version would be the easiest thing to do. It's an iconic vehicle and it is rather small.

12: Fright Zone:
Based on  vintage toy or something else. Would be interesting to see what they can do.

The reason it's here is because it's an iconic vehicle that wasn't made in Classics. Whethe based on the vintage toy or a new redesign from other media, it would be most welcome.

10: Attack Squid:
A strange 200X vehicle, but is unique enough for the bad guys and follows the oceanic theme of the Land Shark.

9: Wind Raider:
Iconic MOTU Vehicle if redesigned on any of the cartoons, it needs to be made.

8: Large monsters like Shadow Beast, Gygor or Ice Hacker:
Technically it's a large scale monster to fight. Reusing Classics parts wouldn't be an issue. Or have a new sculpt.

7: The Three Towers:
The vintage Holy Grail could be remade, perhaps as 3 smaller playsets and having the monorail sacrificed for it... (I know, Blasphemy) but let's be honest, Mattel wouldn't do them in 7 inch scale then and have them be Origins compatible. If they're made for origins first, we might get screwed.

6: Tyrantisaur:
While Mattel CAN'T use the actual Jurassic Park sculpts for it, they can use what they Learned from making that T-Rex to make Tyrantisaur.

5: Battle Bones:
Zombie Lizard turned into a "bus" is a crazy idea that looks badass, period.

4: Accessory packs:
This is not simply the "Weapons Packs" of the past. The idea here is to get stuff BEYOND the weapons. McGuffins from various media, Weapons, single person super small  "vehicles" like Stilt Stalker, etc. Anything that can expand storytelling through display, or enhance the playing experience, but is not too big in size, would belong here.

3: Playset expansion items:
 Things like Point Dread or the Battle Station from 200X are what I'm talking about here. They don't have to be all about Grayskull. They could be expansions to ALL Playsets (Grayskull, Snake Mountain, Fright Zone, Slime Pit, etc.) 

2: Snake Mountain:
Mattel failed everyone by never releasing a Snake Mountain outside of vintage. Now they have a chance. They have 200X style or any of the new toons style for Snake Mountain,  Super7 did the MOTUC one. Also, Mattel owes my Mom a Snake Mountain.

1:Obvious one:
I won't even name this playset, because it's a MOTU line and this Playset is a NECESSITY, since it literally is the McGuffin of the series.

Mar 23, 2021

1:10 scale can be a pain in the ass...

 With the introduction of 1:10 scale, toylines were forever changed. Now 1:12 looks extremely wimpy and some of the stuff can be ridiculously tiny. This gets worse when dealing with Japanese 1:12 vs American 1:12. Which makes hunting for diorama props a HUGE pain in the ass... Well, here comes 1:10 to throw a giant wrench to your plans.

Aside some NECA, Mattel's former MOTUC line, SOME WWE stuff, some Diamond Select stuff, and Super7's Ultimates, getting 1:10 stuff is an even bigger pain in the ass.

If you had issues trying to get, say, food items for your Marvel Legends, well, your movie NECA Turtles or any of your Super 7 TMNT we'll have a hard time getting properly scaled soda to wash down their pizzas. So you saw a barrel for your fantasy figures like Conan or Masters of the Universe... it CAN WORK as a smaller barrel. So you saw some Nifty furniture on Ebay for the sewer lair... that might be useful with the NECA cartoon line... but not for the movie. And if you want a Time Machine... Prepare to spend a shit ton of money to build one yourself... especially since you have to 3d print most of it! Just to display your NECAs!

With the Thundertank being $450 plus shipping I decided to look for alternatives for the TMNT Party Wagon. Well, There is NOTHING in 1/10 scale... BUT I can get a DIECAST VW Kombi in 1/12 scale to repaint and modify for the same price... 

Hell, even when I bought a bunch of dildos for my action figures, they were either undersized or oversized for MOTUC. The smallest Massage wand is OK for Origins . With 1/10, unless you can 3D print AND cast stuff, more often than not you'll be SOL. 

Add more lines go to this scale we still haven't gotten enough accessories for it to thrive like 1/12 scale... it's been nearly 20 years since the 1/10 scale became somewhat mainstream. Even the more mainstream 1/12, which became popular in the late 90s-early 00s Still has issues with accessories.

Sure NOW we're getting dioramas, but without props, dioramas aren't enough to spice up a scene. 

Mar 21, 2021

Correcting the Snyderverse: a rant.

 Recently, I've offended a bunch of people for saying that the Snyder Cut vindicated Joss Whedon. According to the cult, the Theatrical release is absolute garbage and 100% irredeemable, despite 80% of it BEING in the Snyder Cut. You see what I'm getting at: if 80% of the theatrical release is similar to scenes that were in the Snyder Cut, that would mean that NEARLY HALF OF THE SNYDERCUT IS ABSOLUTE CRAP! So, once again I was challenged to explain how I would've done it better... so, I'm going to do that, but I will go an extra mile...

Man of Steel:
A bit more scenes of thr planet. Putting emphasis on the disappearance of the City of Kandor and Jor-El's suspicions about the end of Krypton not being Natural causes. The idea is to hint the coming of Brainiac.
Pa Kent, while worried about his son, WOULD DEFINITELY NOT ASK HIS SON TO LET PEOPLE DIE!! He would commend him for his heroic act, but at the same time ask him to conceal himself, because people fear what they don't understand.
Pa Kent WOULD NOT COMMIT SUICIDE BY TORNADO. He would die of Natural Causes because it teaches Clark that even with his great power he can't save everyone.

Superman has no choice but to kill Zod. He mourns the dead at the Battle of Metropolis by saving as many people as possible. Perhaps a scene of him carrying a cruise ship full of passengers back to port after The hull breached. Or landing a plane.

Reasons for these changes:
I want a Pa Kent that is not cold towards people. He and Jor-El are supposed to be the base of Clark's moral strength. A Pa Kent who is morally dubious harms Superman. Superman is supposed to be the big blue boy scout. The ultimate goody two shoes. He's seen the fragility of human life and their potential. He should want to protect that at all costs.

The reason for dropping hints for Braniac is because Brainiac is my intended replacement for Zombie Zod. Also, a Lex/Brainiac team up sounds cool as hell.

BvS DoJ:
So much will change here that I don't know where to start:
Dick is alive. He left Bruce after Barbara was shot by Joker. After Bruce got a new Robin, Grayson began operating as Nightwing in Blüdhaven. Jason Todd wasn't tempering Bruce's violence as Batman. After a botched assassination attempt on the Joker by Todd, he ends up kidnapped by the Clown Prince of Crime. Tortured by Joker Todd reveals EVERYTHING to the Joker, who uses the revelation to taunt Batman. Todd Kills Joker and fakes his own death. Batman eventually finds the dead Joker and the dead "Jason" beaten to death with a crowbar. Batman buries "Jason" and Snyder's "Murder boner Batman" transformation begins. Through a series of crimes with the same MO as the Joker, Batman discovers the truth. Jason has become the New Joker and replaced his predecessor. 

Now with this series of failures, Batman is consumed with rage, which he dishes out on Gotham City's criminals. Then the Battle of Metropolis happened. He begrudgingly joins forces with Lex Jr. After the young man proposes an Alien defense unit, Bruce joins, since this would speed up the research on ways to stop Superman.

-Lex Luthor:
He will be playing the eccentric billionaire who's hiding a Sinister side. He is using the Kryptonian AI (Brainiac) to learn about Kryptonians and their advanced technology. He's gathering information on Meta-humans for his own reasons. He's trying to seduce Herr Fledermaus into his side by working with Bruce Wayne. He's also working in secret on an Anti-Superman weapon to be wielded bby Luthor himself. After the short-lived Wayne-Luthor alliance breaks, Luthor attempts to pit Batman against Superman.

-The Fight:
 Batman is too enraged to listen to Superman's plea. Clark keeps insisting on not fighting Bruce, because Luthor had Martha Kent Kidnapped. Eventually Bruce gets the advantage and is interrupted when Dick hijacks Bruce's radio frequency with Alfred. Dick reveals that he's been tailing some thugs who kidnapped a lady from a diner, one Martha Kent. When Clark hears the name Martha, he says that's his mother and why he has been trying to get Batman's help. Clark even tells Batman that he can kill him once Martha is safe.  Batman heads to Nightwing and the old Dynamic Duo kick some ass! Once Martha is safe, Nightwing stays with her as backup, while Batman returns to Superman.

-Doomsday weapon:
Is not "Doomsday". It's Lex Luthor on a Kryptonite Armor. This of course weakens Superman and Batman can't put a dent on it... Enter Diana. Super strong and zero Kryptonite weakness. Even then, she can't put a dent on Luthor's armor... until Brainiac begins to merge with Luthor via the armor's thought controlled interface. This gives Luthor a glimpse of Brainiac's plan, which terrorizes him and Diana is able to damage  armor enough to be able to pull Luthor out. With the Lasso of Hestia, Luthor reveals Braniac's plan to use Zod's body as the ultimate vessel. The reason he needed Luthor's mind was to learn the password of the physical locks separating Braniac from Zod. (If you want to know, the password is 40 cakes)

The Luthor fight would be a rather fast one, since he's just a set-up for the Brainiac fight. 
Brainiac emerges on his new Kryptonian body and fights the heroes. He'll grab the Son of Jor-El and lament the end of the House of El, unless Clark bows down to his master. (Yes, it's a reference) Eventually Zod's body is destroyed when Batman gives Diana his Kryptonite tipped spear and the Kryptonite from Luthor's armor. Braniac explodes thanks to Diana and her bracelets. Shards of Kryptonite embed in Clark's body  him in a comatose state. Killing Brainiac was the key to activate the Mother Box currently on Earth.

Why these changes?
Destroy the Martha scene... it was a stupid reason to stop the fight... or at least the way it was executed by Snyder. I'm using Dick instead of Lois, because Dick IS part of Bruce's humanity. Hearing Dick after years of being drifted away, gives Bruce a moment of clarity. When he hears Clark begging for Martha like a child, something clicks on Bruce. Seeing this God-like being crying for his mother just as he was when Joe Chill murdered his parents, puts Batman back on the path.

Make Lex a real threat and not just the Behind the scenes guy. By having him work with Braniac,  I'm giving Lex a lot of forbidden information to become the ultimate villain for Superman and others. With Luthor's armor and Brainzod, I'm planting seeds for Metallo as a smaller scale villain in a stand-alone Superman movie.

Making Zodsday something that is Not Doomsday, because Killing Superman on his second film is stupid.

 The addition of the Bat family:
I chose to add Dick, and to an extent Barbara and Jason in order to intensify Bruce's pain and how The Mission keeps bringing pain and loss to Bruce. Also, Dick is doing detective work on his own as Nightwing and Det. Grayson on Meta-humans, especially Superman ever since Bruce made his alliance with Lexcorp public. Tries to contact Lois, sneaks (or hacks, dependong on budget) into the Planet to find Clark Kent's info. Just as he was about to contact Martha Kent, she is kidnapped.

As one of Jor-El's AIs who had secretly gone rogue (disappearing Kandor, causing the destruction of Krypton) he would have a weird fixation on Jor-El, just as Luthor has it for Kal-El. The reason is so Lex can have a "kindred spirit" and not be the smartest person in the room. Also, having Brainiac would help on future movies as an enemy for Cyborg.

Justice League:
To recap:
Bruce Wayne ends up taking the research from the Wayne-Lexcorp merger, since Lex Luthor was proven to be Criminally insane. Among this research he finds Luthors notes on Meta-humans. Which he uses to compare notes with Dick and his own database. Diana suggests an alliance of heroes as it was done in ancient times. With Superman temporarily out of the equation and the looming threat, they need to hurry.
Luthor, Dick, and Bruce's databases contain various Easter Eggs:
Plastic Man, Swamp Thing, Beast Boy, Flash, Aquaman, Black Canary, Solomon Grundy, Clayface, Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy,  Cyborg, among others. 

Recruiting for the League:
This would play similar to the movie (minus Icelandic women choirs getting wet for Aquaman) Dick would call Bruce and tell him that Canary was a dead end, because she came in a package deal with her boyfriend Green Arrow. Maybe dropping a line on how stupid it is to be the normal guy with Bow and Arrows fighting superpowered Aliens. (Not a jab against Hawkeye) 

Reviving Superman:
Not even the top scientists of STARLABS can help Superman to wake from his coma. Bruce heads to the hidden city of Nanda Parbat to request an audience with Ra's al Ghul. He asks the leader of the League of Assassins permission to use a Lazarus Pit on Superman. There Bruce has to explain to Ra's what's coming and why Superman is needed. Ra's agrees in exchange for the Detective's DNA. Bruce begrudgingly agrees.
(Setting up Damian for a sequel and I wanted you to picture Batffleck playing with himself) Ra's will contact the Detective once a Pit is ready.

Ever since Braniac activated the Box, he's been getting random visions of Steppenwolf's desires once he gets the Box. This has put him on the run from Parademons. When he detects that the League is tracking him, he answers and events would happen similarly to what we saw. 

Superman returns:
Ra's contacts Batman and sends him to a Lazarus Pit conveniently Near Metropolis. 
Nyssa and Talia take Superman from Batman in order to prepare him for the ritual. 
They dress him up  in a Black ceremonial version of Superman's suit. (Think the Comic Book Black Suit with Nanda Parbat elements.) 
The ceremony is a success as Superman awakens from his slumber, but as it happens with Lazarus Pits, he comes back enraged and attacks everyone on sight (similar to how it happens on the original). Durong the fracas, Cyborg misplaces the box and Steppenwolf takes it to his base in Russia. 

 It's the final countdown:
The League is stumped by how to locate Steppenwolf. Barry asks Bruce if he could go to the Library for a minute or two. Barry comes back after speed reading many advanced science books and correctly deduces that Cyborg, as a being created by the mother box, he must project a similar radiation to The Box,  hence the Parademons chasing him. If there was a way to use that and "sniff out the Box". Cyborg wpuld connect to Wayne Industries satellites to scan the Earth. That's how they find Russia.

The only change I would have for the final battle is that Steppenwolf is not being killed by the League. Darkseid what are use his Omega beams to kill Steppenwolf instead.

Why the changes?
The Motherbox + water revival screamed Cheap Lazarus Pit knock-off. Let's use the real deal. It also brings in to the fold material in case Affleck would quit. With Dick showing up in both movies he's set up as the potential successor to Batman. I also, set up a potential Titans spin-off especially with both Dick and Vic.

The reason I had the League NOT kill Steppenwolf is simple: Superheroes shouldn't be killing left and right. Especially those who have "1 rule"... one nitpick I've had with past versions of the Bat as well. Having Darkseid kill Steppenwolf  shows how ruthless Darkseid is. 

The basic idea was to change story elements that I disagreed with, while trying to stay as close as possible to Snyder's vision. 
Otherwise, I would've scrapped everything and started from zero.

As much as I dislike Snyder's bastardizations of the DC Universe, the man has a burning passion for his work. Visually, he has a keen eye and can make a scene look badass. As a storyteller, he is not good. If he had someone who could keep him in check and work his story pacing issues, he could kick so much ass. If it kinda sounds like I'm praising Snyder, I am. Now I can't ignore the WB elephant in the room...
WB needs to get a clue with their properties.
Like I've said multiple times: If WB got their heads out of their asses and properly work for it, DC comics movirs would've been kicking Marvel's ass for years.

Mar 20, 2021

Oh great there is an even Snyderer cut...

 No, really... he has claimed that there are multiple versions of the Snyder cut and one is even longer than the currently released Snyder Cut.

"The truth is there's probably about 10 Snyder cuts -- there's a longer version than the four-hour version."

What the Hell, man! You want to tell me that you have "yet another super secret Snyder Cut that you didn't release"? This is either one of two things:
-an excuse to divert blame from the mixed reactions the movie has gotten.
-a dog whistle to the cult to start harassing WB staff and put him in a better position at the negotiating table.

Dude, you had your second chance. You released "your version" in honor of your daughter. Leave it at that. It's done, Mission Complete, Congratulations. 

There is no point in feeding the beast. Go home, work on the zombie project and forget about DC stuff... Hell, call Todd McFarlane to make the infamous Spawn movie!

Mar 19, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Todd McFarlane, you have failed this city!!

 By  title alone, you should've guessed that I'm talking about Oliver Queen, a man who suffered in a living Hell and became something else... a Batman wannabe with a Robin Hood fetish... he became the Green Arrow.

He has the modern McFarlane articulation that is VERY useful... he seems to have issues with shooting arrow poses despite having a butterfly shoulder joint. It doesn't help that he CANNOT MOVE HIS HEAD due to the Hood. Also, his body feels hollow on the abs.
Batman: "An idiot, perhaps?"
Green Arrow: "How Rude!!"
Batman: "Oh great, he's Stephanie Tanner now!"

Paint and sculpt
Face sculpt isn't quite there. He kinda looks like Ammell's stuntman than he does Stephen Ammell. Everything else is fine... OK I lied, the bow is absolute crap. I have to hit his hand woth a hair dryer before attempting to have him hols the bow. It has an arrow sculpted unto it and it's made of soft plastic, so it gets warped easily. At least the paint work is good.
Green Arrow: "What happened to my Bow!? My arrow isn't straight!!"
Batman: "I had it watch Noelle Stevenson's She-Ra..."
Green Arrow: "Did you just make a joke!"

Batman: "Look down, now back up!
I stole your arrows."
Green Arrow: "How did you do that!?"
Batman: "I'm Batman!!"

I already mentioned the bow with floppy parts. He also has a quiver and a bunch of arrows stuck together. As usual with other McFarlane Toys he has a trading card and the stand.
Green Arrow: "That's it! Put'em up! Let's fight hand to hand! Wait, you're LAUGHING! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!? STOP IT! IT'S CREEPING ME OUT!"
Batman: "Not even Joker gas has made me laugh this badly... Shame we couldn't record this to send a copy to the Joker at Arkham!"
Green Arrow: "Are you making jokes?"
Batman: "Yeah, but your parents are the biggest comedians on Earth! Because they made you!!"
Green Arrow: "I don't ge... waitaminnit!"

Green Arrow gets a 3.67 as his final score. Sadly this figure didn't translate properly. The Bow and Articulation issues did hurt the figure more than I thought...

I can't end this review with such a bad taste... McFarlane is a friend to the community and I simply cannot do this... So, let's talk about his DICK!

McFarlane gave us a really nice Dick! I'd say that Todd McFarlane's Dick is one of the best Dicks I've ever had. Much better than Kenner's or Mattel's... You're aware I was talking about Dick Grayson, right?

Dick has a decent range of articulation. He feels a bit stiffer than my Barry though. Huh huh my dick is a bit stiff! I do wish he could bend forwards a bit better for some acrobatic poses worthy of a Flying Grayson.
Check out Dick's ass!

Paint and sculpt 
 The body is not a naked body it's a suit body and has panel lines creases and Tiny details that show that this is a figure of a guy wearing a skin-tight suit and not his skin... unlike say, Marvel Legends, DCUC, MOTUO... or even WWE in some cases. The Nightwing Insignia is sculpted on and not simply  painted on. His face has enough details to be posed easily next to Arrow without looking too jarring, unlike say, Animated Harley Quinn. He even has escrima stick holders on his back. And for the ladies, he has a majestic butt and it looks like he ain't no Mickey Mouse crotch Ken Figure. Dick is packing some himself!! Yes I stared at Dick's Grayson... 
Batgirl loves Dick
Starfire loves Dick
BOTH of them love Dick's dick...

He carries the usual McFarlane stuff which would be a stand and a trading card... But I don't care about those he also carries the escrima sticks... and that's about it to be fair all that Nightwing really needs are his escrima sticks. But he could've used a wingding... the Nightwing version of Batarangs.
Nightwing: "Why is Robin Hood men in tights here?"
Green Arrow: "I heard that, Robin the boy blunder... I have a crowbar arrow, y'know?"
Nightwing: "Wrong Robin, Verdant dunce! But do tell that joke to the Red Hood"
Green Arrow: "Maybe I will, Teen Titan Go!"
Flash: "Um, Ollie, do you know who the Red Hood is?"
Green Arrow: "I don't give a flying fuck who the Red Hood is!"
Flash: "He's the Robin who doesn't follow Batman's moral code!"
Green Arrow: "You mean my Almost nephew?"
Batman: "Wait, did Ra's try to pimp out one of his dughters to you too?"
Green Arrow: "Dammit! Even with that I'm nothing more than a store brand replacement for you!"
Batman: "I have an idea, exSidekick duel... Call Roy and ask him to give you a hand... oh wait!"
Green Arrow: "You son of a..."
Batman: "Be careful, Oliver. Your next word might make me break my One Rule..."
Green Arrow: "Martha's a whore!"
Flash: "So, NW, should I do a quick rewind?"
Nightwing: "No thanks, Barr... I called the big guy!"

Nightwing gets a 4.5 as his final score. He's a sweet figure, but to be fair, I love Dick! Grayson, you nincompoop! I'm talking about Richard Grayson! It's a reasonable score for a great figure who just needed a little oomph! To reach perfection.

Mar 18, 2021

Snydercut is out... a Rant:

 I won't do a play by play... but I will be doing as close to one as possible. Before you ask, yeah, I found a loophole on how to watch it AND not give WB/Snyder my money or my bandwith... my time, well, I have to give them that... the method, that's a Mexican Secret... so I can still talk about the movie and sticking to my principles...


It starts with Hack Snydurr patting himself on the back and thanking his cultists for their toxicity... and doing a good deed. Then the movie starts with a Previously on BvS. Mother boxes get activated which forces Batman to travel on horse to reach Aquaman and ask him to join... so far nothing too different from the "Josstice League"... but what about the Mustache interview, or Batman interrogator scenes? Not here... we got the BvS recap instead. Also, why are the people singing to Aquaman leaving the village? 

Why is she sniffing Momoa's shirt like some sort of pervert?
We get a scene with OTHER MARTHA!? And then a pointless scene of Bruce Wayne switching vehicles at an air strip while Alfred delivers some sass. Because we REALLY NEED TO KNOW HOW BRUCE WAYNE SWITCHED VEHICLES! Yay, Zack Snyder!!! I hope Batman doesn't have to take a dump...

Lois Lane buying coffee and opening an umbrella... how do we know she's Lois Lane?The jenius that is Zack Snyder blocks her from view for a moment with a huge ass white truck delivering Daily Planet newspapers. I have to stop the movie and furiously masturbate to the jenius of Zack Snyder! Be right back!

We have a slightly more drawn out bank heist that we saw in the Theatrical release... noticing a pattern here. It's almost as if the "Josstice League" is an abridged version of the Snydercut... and yes, little mortal girl, you can totally grow up to be a clay statue given life by Zeus...

Parademons attack Themiscyra and the Destroyer armor Steppenwolf shows up. Steppenwolf redesign aside, this was on the Theatrical release... Now we reached part 2.

I've been a bit snarky, yes. Mostly because, so far there haven't been any HUGE deviations from the "allegedly horrible Josstice League". Hell, even the Gillette product placement is in this. 

Hmmm the Wonder Woman Tomb Raider sequence is a cute addition, but a bit of a time waster. And now finally Aquaman decides to go to Atlantis... all a bit too eerily similar to the "Whedon film"... I'm starting to doubt the "60 pages reshot" rumors. Ooh nifty DeSaad cameo! A bit pointless for casual people who have no knowledge of DC, but the Cult will praise Snydurr for it.

Hello, Mr. Seid! FINALLY, SOMETHING TRULY DIFFERENT FROM THE THEATRICAL CUT!! And it's kinda similar to the Theatrical version with Steppenwolf. I thought the theatrical release was more Whedon than Snyder, yet it looks like I am wrong. I still haven't seen Barry, who will be the Litmus test for the Whedon theory. Glad that somebody googled ancient green lanterns to add in the movie, but so far, this hasn't been as impressive as promised... and I'm keeping my expectations low enough to love an Uwe Boll film! But Darkseid so far has been the only "Huh, neat!" Moment. I spoke too soon, since Darkseid got his ass kicked, like a pussy, by Ares. At least Whedon was smart enough to swap Darkseid for Steppenwolf. So, part 3... 

Finally Barry... Oh, Sweet Martha, Barry just won't shut up! Bad one-liner after bad one-liner... So my old notion that Barry was Whedonized is wrong. The Cringe level is OVER 9000!!  Neat speed effects but kinda creepy...

Also, Evan Peters did it better on the Fox movies... It's not an awful scene, but I can see why it wasn't on the Theatrical release. And now Steppenwolf is interrogating Atlanteans.
Hour and 20 minutes give or take, we get one of the "racist cuts" according to Ray Fisher. Totally not a having to make an already bloated 4 hour movie into a 2 hour feature. And Fisher delivered his best performance as he was lying still on the hospital bed. Mostly because he's not whining with a growly voice. That was a joke... but in all seriousness, Fisher is doing a much better work than Momoa or Miller. So, I can kinda understand why he kept bitching and moaning about "his cut content". I don't agree with his bitching about it, but we at least got to see more than the single note performance he gives throughout the rest of the Theatrical cut AND previous scenes... BOOYAH!! and now I can truly understand why Warner and DC wanted to trim the fat and cull most of Cyborg...

Snyder and Terrio made Cyborg too OP.

No wonder they had to cut that stuff out. At the end of the day SUPERMAN is DC's flagship hero, not Cyborg. But racism, amirite? Also, what is it with the Internet being this magical realm imagery? Now that we're there, the Snyder Cult mocked the Superstache and PS2 Steppenwolf from the theatrical release, but damn!

Thank goodness for that 70 Million... same quality as Whedon's 30 Million!

That prison scene was similar, but the levity brought by Whedon is gone, because Snyder only knows Misery over anguish... seriously, Where are all the super huge differences from Snyder to Whedon? 

Wasn't this a cringy Whedon Scene?

Let's remember that this is only hereto remind us that his daughter killed herself and to shield himself from criticism. It's not there for true altruistic reasons.
We get a scene of Diana and Alfred discussing bad tech which he literally ripped off from Wonder Woman.

Diana meets Cyborg and he drops an F-Bomb... Sooo edgy! Excuse me while I go masturbate furiously to Zack Snyder's edginess!!
I'm back and Silas Stone got captured. Before that Cyborg did some profane things to his mother's grave.
Now We get to see Jim Gordon demanding pictures of Spider-Man! Yes, I need to make lame jokes because this movie is more depressing than The Last of Us 2...


Steppenwolf goes to Atlantis and beats up Amber Heard just as she claimed Johnny Depp did. Again nothing too different from the theatrical version... just longer. I'm nearly 2 hours in and while there is additional footage; it hasn't made the Theatrical cut feel inferior... quite the opposite. All it's done is show how much of "Whedon's stuff" was actually Snyder's. 

Steppenwolf has been relegated to DeSaad's bitch. Also, seems like the Russian family in danger was a Whedon thing.

Part 4... here we go! Barry isn't as Whedon-made as I thought... The battle under the Gotham Harbor is very similar to the Theatrical version... getting tired of repeating this... and I still have about 2 more hours to go.
Anti-Life equation, finally something "new". Darkseid cameo... why did Steppenwolf took off his clothes in front of Darkseid?
Wait just a minute... wasn't the whole Motherbox Superman revival a Whedon thing? 

A Marthian Manhunter cameo... I know what I wrote! He went to Lois disguised as MARTHA!? Will this cameo pay off? Eh, at leadt it's something "different" from the theatrical release.

Part 5... Let's go! Exhuming Superman, check! Alfred having a heart to heart chat with Bruce on the dangers of necromancy is a nice "new thing".  A slightly longer version of the infiltration mission.
Is this a reference to the abandoned Lois and Bruce knock boots? The League activates the box and we get a weird vision which is "new stuff". Darkseid taking a dump I'm the Wonder Woman with two drachma. Aquaman gets killed by Darkseid in the vision and we get black suit Superman with Darkseid giving Clark a loving shoulder rub.
Cyborg tries to abort the mission and Barry dashes prematurely...

Superman is alive and Silas is eyeing the Motherbox.
We get the whole League is forced to fight Superman. Aside a few lines of dialogue and the last part of the scene, they are very similar.

The League lose the last box and Cryborg gets more character development...

Part 6... Finally, the End is nigh!!
We get some scenes of the League planning their attack while Lois and  Clark are in Smallville. While similar, they are very different, but they ARE Similar... sounds confusing, but here it is: tone and dialogue are different in the league scene, but the purpose of the scene is similar... this is the pattern throughout most of the movie... and in many cases the dialogue doesn't even change. 

Now the Barry scene from MARTHA'S KID V. MARTHA'S KID: YAWN OF JUST US gets some pay off... but not really...
You know what this movie needs? More Clark talking to his dead dad... I was being sarcastic!! Black suit is stupidly used in this movie.

The League preps up in a montage that was a bit between Schumacher and Whedon.
We get a similar battle of JL vs parademons. It's different enough, but not.

Clark and Alfred meet, flies to Russia, kicks ass and Darkseid shows up with DeSaad and Granny Goodness. This tickled the comic  book fan in me, but then I remembered Zack Snyder. So he Tetsuya Nomura'd the ending and Barry uses the Speed Force to kinda time travel to jumpstart Cyborg. After the bit inside the Motherboxes, Superman and Cyborg separate them. Then Aquaman, Superman, and Wonder Woman proceed to murder Steppenwolf. Darkseid vows revenge...

Now for the Epilogue:
I bought the Bank wasn't Whedon!? Everything else has been setups for a sequel that won't come. Joker was bad and the "For Autumn" in the end left me a bad taste in my mouth. He's literally exploiting his daughter's death as a shield against criticism!

Now let's get serious for a moment:

The Snydercut vindicates Joss Whedon. A LOT of the "bad things" that Whedon did "to sabotage" the movie were actually Snyder's.
The only 2 big changes by Whedon, mandated by the studio were:
-Lightening the tone (dialogue, not killing Steppenwolf)
-Refocusing the story on Superman.

Despite all the limitations Whedon had, excessive studio mandates, tight deadline, little budget, and an uncooperative cast, the man pulled a miracle. He can be a douche, a dick, or whatever; but as a director, he should be commended for the miracle he pulled. The movie wasn't great, but I blame WB and Zack Snyder for that.

Now the Snydercut: it wasn't a BVS trainwreck, but it wasn't good either. It was a more bloated and convoluted version of "Josstice League". It suffered from being a Zack Snyder film. The 4 hour cut showed that Snyder likes to pad out things and that he has issues with pacing. The sad part is that aside Steppenwolf not dying on the Theatrical release, and the focus on Cyborg on this version, the differences were minimal. Some of the scenes that were cut were OK, but not mindblowing enough that you can say they're REALLY NECESSARY... like I said before, they're more of a huh, neat! kind of scenes. If you thought the theatrical release was bad, then the Snydercut should be just as bad, since they're basically the same movie (aside the ending)

Personally, I think the "Josstice League" is the superior version. 
-it gives Superman a chance to shine in a more heroic form. 
-For the most part it attempts to balance the dark themes with a bit of levity. (Batman doing quips and one liners is not a good thing.)
-it was able to tell nearly the same story in half the time.

With that said, the fight sequences that were different, were better on the Snydercut. 

I mentioned that I didn't like how Snyder is exploiting his daughter's death as a shield against criticism. I'm not glad that she died and I wish for his pain to become tolerable. My issue is that every time he mentioned the Snydercut  he always seems to remind everyone that his daughter died. I understand grief and how it can make you attached to something due to a memory of the deceased and said thing. In my case MOTUC Snake Mountain and my Mom. In Snyder's case is his daughter and the movie. So, I understand his attachment to the project. But the difference between me and Snyder are that Snake Mountain is a collectible and I get no "advantages" for mentioning my attachment to it. Snyder's movie is his actual job. Depending on how it does, his career could gain an advantage.
By constantly reminding us of his daughter's death. He's emotionally manipulating us. When a person loses someone, the people around them tend to act extra careful in order to avoid causing them more pain.
The constant and consistent reminders almost feel like he's purposely trying to make us feel bad so we take it easy on him.

If you like Snyder movies, I'll question your taste, but hope you enjoyed it... Me? I didn't enjoy it, but I didn't hate it. All those years, all that effort for an eh it's not a trainwreck is NOT a good thing.