Mar 1, 2021


 Uh, what? WHY? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like Die Hard... I'm cool with having stories with characters that happen to be lesbians and I'm not talking about porn. My issue lies in the whole lazy, cheap, uncreative, and unimaginative notion that taking an established property with a male protagonist, rebooting it with a female protagonist and expecting it to outdo the original... Ghostbusters, Terminator, Ocean's Eleven all failed, not because they weren't good... but because they were all: "We are Women and we are free! Free to take on the Patriarchy!" 

Instead of hijacking Die Hard, wouldn't it be better to, I don't know? Make an original IP where a tough Protagonist must face overwhelming odds in order to save their kidnapped wife. Armed only with their fighting skills, sharp wit, and whatever weapons they procure on site they'll go through Hell and back to save their wife in an action Love Letter to 80s Badassery starring Charlize Theron as the Badass.

It still is an action movie with romantic elements where the love story happens to be 2 women. The only difference is that is not hijacking any existing property. It still can "borrow" elements but it's not pretending to be "Die Hard".

My constant issue with this type of things is that literally they're saying that women are not good enough for their own IP and they need to wear a white man's hand-me-downs in order to "survive".

Theron has shown us again and again that she is 100% badass. There is no need to hijack anything. Let me spitball something quick:

Charlize Theron is Steph Morris a former "Special operative", whose unit was used to clean up loose ends from other covert groups, living the quiet life in her ranch in Montana. Her estranged wife, Dr. Jennifer McClane-Morris was kidnapped by an International Terrorist organization determined to use Dr. McClane-Morris's breakthrough for evil. Now Steph is in a globe-trotting race against the clock to find her wife and stop the terrorists before her former unit finds then first.

So let's break down my idea:
The name Steph Morris is not a random name pulled out of my ass. 
Steph is short for Stephanie, which is the female form of Steven... the last name Morris is one letter removed from Norris. So, in my idea, Charlize Theron is named after Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal. Her wife is named Jennifer McClane-Morris. Her first name is a nod to John Matrix's daughter Jenny. McClane is an obvious nod to the McClanes from Die Hard. The former Special Forces angle background is a nod to Norris, Seagal, Stallone, and Schwarzenegger. The estranged wife angle, is a nod to Die Hard. Kidnapping is a common trope. The international terrorist organization is a nod to Die Hard. Having her former unit become another enemy force is very loosely inspired by Commando, but it's mostly a Metal GearSolid reference. The other reason I used an International organization is to allow some "evil foreign special forces action" and not your average thigs with guns. If the bad guys are Russian, we have Former Spetsnaz. If they're Japanese, then Yakuza ninjas, as ridiculous as it may sound. If they happen to be Middle Eastern, we get the stereotypical ME terrorists. If non-Japanese Asians, they might be Korean Kkangpae in order to not anger China with Triad references. We can also get a combination of these with the Special Operatives.

Speaking of the Special Operatives, they are there for two possible options. They could team up with Theron to take down the terrorists, but slowly get picked out until Theron remains... OR they COULD be the ones behins the kidnapping and Theron has to take them out.

I painted the idea with broad strokes in order to have some leeway to adapt the scope as big or as small as the budget would allow. Since I borrowed from multiple sources, I can play around with the pieces and deliver something that may not be original, but should feel familiar yet fresh.
Saying "Die Hard but with lesbians" feels kinda forced. 

I want a kickass action movie with Theron fighting to save her wife. I just don't want a Sapphic Die Hard, because I believe Theron can do MUCH BETTER than that.

I can see Leslie Jones as Officer Powell in the Sapphic reboot... dammit! This is the kind of ideas I shouldn't be giving them!

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