Mar 19, 2021

It came from the Toy Chest: Todd McFarlane, you have failed this city!!

 By  title alone, you should've guessed that I'm talking about Oliver Queen, a man who suffered in a living Hell and became something else... a Batman wannabe with a Robin Hood fetish... he became the Green Arrow.


Articulation 
He has the modern McFarlane articulation that is VERY useful... he seems to have issues with shooting arrow poses despite having a butterfly shoulder joint. It doesn't help that he CANNOT MOVE HIS HEAD due to the Hood. Also, his body feels hollow on the abs.
4.0
Green Arrow: "I BECAME SOMETHING ELSE!"
Batman: "An idiot, perhaps?"
Green Arrow: "How Rude!!"
Batman: "Oh great, he's Stephanie Tanner now!"


Paint and sculpt
Face sculpt isn't quite there. He kinda looks like Ammell's stuntman than he does Stephen Ammell. Everything else is fine... OK I lied, the bow is absolute crap. I have to hit his hand woth a hair dryer before attempting to have him hols the bow. It has an arrow sculpted unto it and it's made of soft plastic, so it gets warped easily. At least the paint work is good.
4.0
Green Arrow: "What happened to my Bow!? My arrow isn't straight!!"
Batman: "I had it watch Noelle Stevenson's She-Ra..."
Green Arrow: "Did you just make a joke!"




Batman: "Look down, now back up!
I stole your arrows."
Green Arrow: "How did you do that!?"
Batman: "I'm Batman!!"

Accessories
I already mentioned the bow with floppy parts. He also has a quiver and a bunch of arrows stuck together. As usual with other McFarlane Toys he has a trading card and the stand.
3.0
Green Arrow: "That's it! Put'em up! Let's fight hand to hand! Wait, you're LAUGHING! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!? STOP IT! IT'S CREEPING ME OUT!"
Batman: "Not even Joker gas has made me laugh this badly... Shame we couldn't record this to send a copy to the Joker at Arkham!"
Green Arrow: "Are you making jokes?"
Batman: "Yeah, but your parents are the biggest comedians on Earth! Because they made you!!"
Green Arrow: "I don't ge... waitaminnit!"


Overall:
Green Arrow gets a 3.67 as his final score. Sadly this figure didn't translate properly. The Bow and Articulation issues did hurt the figure more than I thought...
Slot...


I can't end this review with such a bad taste... McFarlane is a friend to the community and I simply cannot do this... So, let's talk about his DICK!

McFarlane gave us a really nice Dick! I'd say that Todd McFarlane's Dick is one of the best Dicks I've ever had. Much better than Kenner's or Mattel's... You're aware I was talking about Dick Grayson, right?


Articulation 
Dick has a decent range of articulation. He feels a bit stiffer than my Barry though. Huh huh my dick is a bit stiff! I do wish he could bend forwards a bit better for some acrobatic poses worthy of a Flying Grayson.
4.5
Check out Dick's ass!


Paint and sculpt 
 The body is not a naked body it's a suit body and has panel lines creases and Tiny details that show that this is a figure of a guy wearing a skin-tight suit and not his skin... unlike say, Marvel Legends, DCUC, MOTUO... or even WWE in some cases. The Nightwing Insignia is sculpted on and not simply  painted on. His face has enough details to be posed easily next to Arrow without looking too jarring, unlike say, Animated Harley Quinn. He even has escrima stick holders on his back. And for the ladies, he has a majestic butt and it looks like he ain't no Mickey Mouse crotch Ken Figure. Dick is packing some himself!! Yes I stared at Dick's Grayson... 
4.5
Batgirl loves Dick
Starfire loves Dick
BOTH of them love Dick's dick...


Accessories 
He carries the usual McFarlane stuff which would be a stand and a trading card... But I don't care about those he also carries the escrima sticks... and that's about it to be fair all that Nightwing really needs are his escrima sticks. But he could've used a wingding... the Nightwing version of Batarangs.
4.5
Nightwing: "Why is Robin Hood men in tights here?"
Green Arrow: "I heard that, Robin the boy blunder... I have a crowbar arrow, y'know?"
Nightwing: "Wrong Robin, Verdant dunce! But do tell that joke to the Red Hood"
Green Arrow: "Maybe I will, Teen Titan Go!"
Flash: "Um, Ollie, do you know who the Red Hood is?"
Green Arrow: "I don't give a flying fuck who the Red Hood is!"
Flash: "He's the Robin who doesn't follow Batman's moral code!"
Green Arrow: "You mean my Almost nephew?"
Batman: "Wait, did Ra's try to pimp out one of his dughters to you too?"
Green Arrow: "Dammit! Even with that I'm nothing more than a store brand replacement for you!"
Batman: "I have an idea, exSidekick duel... Call Roy and ask him to give you a hand... oh wait!"
Green Arrow: "You son of a..."
Batman: "Be careful, Oliver. Your next word might make me break my One Rule..."
Green Arrow: "Martha's a whore!"
Flash: "So, NW, should I do a quick rewind?"
Nightwing: "No thanks, Barr... I called the big guy!"


Overall
Nightwing gets a 4.5 as his final score. He's a sweet figure, but to be fair, I love Dick! Grayson, you nincompoop! I'm talking about Richard Grayson! It's a reasonable score for a great figure who just needed a little oomph! To reach perfection.

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