Target, what the hell!?

 Target, who used to be super woke, has now this:

What in Mr. Popo and Jinx's name is this thing!?

Target, of course apologized for the issue...

But part of me, the one wearing tinfoil hats is all like:

This is a message to MAGA showing that they're not woke and to please return to their stores.

Betcha they'll put the costume back but with a white kid...

Hey what the!? Jeffrey Epstein can be blamed for microtransactions

 Donald Trump and Bill Clinton's "special friend", Jeffrey Epstein is to blame for Microtransactions. Ex Activision chief Bobby Kotick appears about 300 times on the Epstein files.

Seriously, how fucked up is that... not only Jeffrey Epstein fucked kids physically, he metaphorically fucked then by introducing microtransactions. That's fucked up yo...

Good thing Epstein is dead...

Bad news is that his unmarked grave is under constant surveillance.

Hey what the!? A theme park from Mattel,

 What the Hell!? Mattel is making a theme park in Arizona... makes sense, middle of nowhere and able to get cheap labor... if you know what I mean.

I'm mocking the fact that they have to go to Arizona to build the park  instead of say, Texas, Florida, or even Mattel's native

California... We all know that this is because it was most likely dirt cheap to make it there... also it's not Iowa whose points to fame are: Corn, American Gothic farmhouse... you know the one with the farmer and his wife daughter... and the future birth place of James Tiberius Kirk. 

Let's be honest, what's in Arizona... not the iced tea, that's made in NEW YORK. 

You can see Desert... More Desert... A Gash in the ground that is in, you guessed it, the Desert... a Tourist trap made famous because Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner played played a dude that got in a shootout with some other dudes in that town. Did I mention the Desert? Also there's desert... where everyone would dehydrate and need some overpriced Ice cold Coke... as they wait in line to the Mattel themed attractions... Probably Barbie, Hot Wheels, and goddammit... They're going to make a He-Man ride. Hopefully based on the REAL He-Man and not based on any of the Netflix Bastardizations.

Supposed to open in 2023... wonder if Max Steel will get any recognition... I have to wonder if Mattel is being a pioneer here of if they're copying Hasbro...

Looks like Hasbro is making a park South of the Border and has one Above the Other border, eh?

At least NECA and McFarlane are above such crazy Shenanigans... Now that I said it, I'm expecting the following announcement

"Ever gone to a public bathroom in a gas station and seen a hole in a urinal stand? The hole is at groin height and seems big enough to look into the next stall.

Hi, I'm Todd McFarlane, creator of Spawn, and Al Simmons made a horrible mistake and looked into the hole. He ended up with Baby batter in the eye. That's why I'm making a Spawn themed Horror park! It will be open only at night because it's time for Spawn!"

Hey what the!? Oklahoma, you're OK in my book

 Normally I don't care about Oklahoma or its people who are not... 

... the completely heterosexual fantasies of one Jonathan Brandis. Aside Chuck Norris, what has Oklahoma given us? OK, they gave us Brad Pitt,  what else? The shopping cart and the electric guitar? OK, OK... I'll give them that but what else? The official state meal of Oklahoma consists of fried okra, cornbread, barbecue pork, squash, biscuits, sausage and gravy, grits, corn, strawberries (state fruit), chicken fried steak, pecan pie, and black-eyed peas... Yum! So, Oklahoma seems kinda bland and generic surrounded by more exciting states... we need to spice OKLAHOMA a bit more... How do we do that? A traffic accidents where dildos and lube fill up the road...

It's not every day where sex toys blow their load all over a highway. So, this freakish accident makes Oklahoma OK in my book, aside their most famous person...

Yes it's totally an excuse to mention Chuck Norris and how I want Super7 to make Chuck Norris Ultimates of Chuck Norris wether they are normal Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos starring Chuck Norris is not the point. The point is that I want a Chuck Norris action figure of Chuck Norris, but this rant is not about that. It's about an oddity that happened in the homestate of Chuck Norris.

Hey what the!? A Real Life American Ninja goes rogue!?

 No I am NOT talking about Dudikoff. I'm talking about a dude dressed like the legendary assassins from Japan attacking a US Army Special Operations unit in California.

The ninja infiltrated an airport and approached a Sergeant. The Ninja was seemingly searching for his family. Since the Sgt. didn't have any worthwhile info, the ninja attacked. The Sergeant limped away and hid in a hangar with the rest of his Spec Ops Unit and they called 911... yes, you read that right a bunch of Army Spec Ops soldiers hiding like little bitches from a guy dressed up like a ninja. Army Spec Ops waiting on the Police to save them as if they were a bunch of Princesses waiting for their donut munching knights. 

Police took down the Ninja. That's a huge blow to the Army Spec Ops' reputation right there. Getting their asses saved by the Police. They helped on the raid to take down Osama Bin Laden, but they were hunkered down in a hangar like little bitches because of a guy with a sword. 

The 106th SOAR will have to go on a massive campaign to salvage their reputation...

Area 51 raid was very disappointing.

They came, they stood around, practically nothing happened.
As always a lot less people than expected showed up. Then I get this whole thing started us a joke so it was surprising seeing a number of people showing up.

Someone actually Naruto ran to fame... or infamy.

Wait... the reporter is dressed like Naruto!?

Eh... we live in a world where Naruto run was used in actual news...
BELIEVE IT!!

Freaking Naruto run...

Hey what the!? Japan has a Shadow Moses?

Yes THAT Shadow Moses...



Japan has a sort of attraction where you get to be Soriddo Suneku...  Tokyo Mystery Circus is the company behind this, with collaboration from the Pachinko masters at Konami.

Basically, infiltrate the enemy fortress,  destroy the final weapon, Metal Gear... Since this is a H. Kojima-less game, Long-winded cutscenes are not available.



But now that I've done some thinking... this seems eerily familiar.



Only we are Raiden... not Snake... it almost feels Kojima-esque...

Freaking Japan...

Et tu Standor?

Stan Lee has joined the league of Perverts...
Which surprises no one. We knew he was a bit of a perv by the time he made Stripperella.
But now he's being accused by nurses who were taking care of him, of ending groped, sexually harassed and asked to suck on his Excelsior...

I can almost picture the situation:
"Hey there True Believers, Stan Lee here, I want you to suck on my Excelsior until you get a No Prize... Nuff' said!"

And yes, I picture Stan Lee starting each conversation with Hey there True Believers.

It's kinda sad, that the Man who made Marvel has been now reduced to a lecherous old man... Like a Stan Lee shaped Happosai or Muten Roshi.

Now Stan Lee has joined Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Elvis Crespo among others in the League of Perverts...

Vice City and Haitian Issues...

Let me take you to a more innocent time... 2002, Late October...

The game where you played as Tommy Vercetti and took over Vice City (a Miami Ersatz)
Remember this?

 and the whole dumbass controversy it made by taking the quotes out of context. OK, so that was in 2013...

Here's the new one:
Remember Auntie Poulet... The leader of such and such (Not saying The Vice City Hatian Gang leader, so the Real World Haitians, who aren't criminals in a fictional city in a videogame don't get butthurt)

That Auntie Poulet, who was voiced by the Late Miss Cleo...

That Miss Cleo, the same one who was proven to be a fraud. Well, Auntie Poulet KINDA looks a bit like Miss Cleo... or how she did look, since she passed away in 2016. So, using that, the Fraud Artists... I mean the Psychic Readers Network are suing Rockstar Games for "infringing on the likeness of Miss Cleo". Let that sink in for a minute... The PRN is suing a game company for a 15 year old game. WHY NOW? Why not way back then when the game came out. Looks like the PRN is making the Lohan Lawsuit seem tame.

If Miss Cleo HERSELF, voiced A PARODY VERSION OF HERSELF, meaning she was OK with it, how can these bumbaclots sue Rockstar?

Hey what the!? It's a Statue, not a real person.

Things like this is why Third Wavers aren't taken seriously.
A few days ago, this douche decided to have some tasteless and immature fun with the Defiant Girl Statue put in front of the Wall Street Bull.Feminists, of course were outraged and began spouting the usual "Rape Culture" "Patriarchy" "Off with his head" thing...

Here's the thing:

IT.IS.NOT.A.BIG.DEAL.
He's just AN IDIOT DOING AN IMMATURE JOKE ATTEMPTING TO MAKE HIS BUDDIES LAUGH. People do STUPID STUFF LIKE THIS TO STATUES ALL THE TIME!!

See what I mean? That was a small example after Googling "People Playing On Statues". Yes, I specifically looked for the pics of Women doing it to show that this is NOT JUST A MALE THING... This is a STUPID HUMANS IMMATURE HUMOR THING...

This is the part that Third Wavers whine about the Statues being of Adults and Douchy Mc Wall Street did it with a statue of a Little girl, so he is a pedo.

No, just no.

at a Children's store no less...

I mean, if that were true then ALL THE WOMEN HERE WOULD BE Zoophiles... OK, maybe the one with the Baby Dinosaur is the one we should truly be angry about. But where's the outrage on the bull ball grabbers?

 

Here we have some Pedo Women then... I mean, one of them is humping a baby!! A BABY!! For crying out loud!! If we're angry about Douchy Mc Wall Street, then we should be demanding that T-Shirt O'Baby Humper should be stoned to death!!

Child Abuse, or mocking 300?

Wasn't a Teenaged Boy sent to Juvie for doing something Similar to a statue of Jesus?

"But it's the symbolism what matters. He is oppressing women..."

Here we have a Woman Grinding on a Former Pope's Statue...
Is this some sort of Anti-Catholic Symbolism, cause if so, shouldn't they have used a little boy to grind on the statue? Or this is simply a woman being a tasteless ass and made an immature attempt at humor?

How about the girl "loving it"?
Is there some deep meaning on how McD's is raping us with their food and their prices, or is this a picture of a girl who thought: "Y'know it would be funny if I pretend to have sex with Ronald... come on! that pose he's in begs for someone to ride him!" kind of thing? Chances are that it's probably the latter.

Guy's an idiot. There's no denying that, just as most of the people on the pics here... Only Dino Lady is the true degenerate. They simply saw an opportunity for a quick joke.

Don't overthink it and try to look hidden meanings or symbolism where there is none... The simplest solution is usually the better one... and Idiots trying to be funny is the simplest solution to the question WHY ARE THEY DOING IT?

Do I agree with his actions? HELL NO! Do I think he had a long-winded thought process in order to hump the statue as an act of misogyny/sexism/oppressing women? HELL NO! Do I think he's an idiot? HELL YEAH! (I happen to think he's a douche and an ass) Does he deserve to be  get hurt,fired, arrested, possibly deported? HELL NO!

Was it crass, and/or rude? HELL YEAH! I just don't see it as a huge damnable offense... I do not see the women doing things to the statues as something damnable either... Except maybe Dinosaur Humper... Who actually rubbed her bare genitalia on the statue.

So, the whole "witch hunt" against him feels way too much overkill.

Pink Water in Canada scares people...

Looking like a scene out of Ghostbusters 2, a pink fluid was coming out of the faucets at Onoway, Canada.

Apparently, a malfunction in the water treatment plant allowed for some Potassium Permanganate to mix with the water... Potassium Permanganate? Why does that sound familiar?







Holy crap! I knew I had heard of Potassium Pomegranate before...

In other news:

We had Benicio del Toro as the Collector...

I give you the Grandmaster...
Yup! The Fly himself is now The Grandmaster... Mom would have had one Hell of a laugh with this pic of Dr. Malcom...

He kinda looks like a a more psychidellic version of Doctor Strange, if the movie had been made in the 1990s.



Since we're talking Marvel... Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 is getting a physical release for PS4 and XBOne and it comes with a comic... I'm not likely to rebuy a game I already own and the Comic Book is not swaying me to get it...

Hey what the!? Ikea's gone Cupcakes?

I mean Cupcakes as in the gory My Little Pony Fan fiction in which Pinkie Pie kills ponies and makes them into the titular food... They found Horse Meat on some Ikea meatballs... apparently they do a lot more than Furniture...

That makes the German Scootaloo Mc Sandwich even creepier...

Yes, Germany had a build a burger contest a while back and a Chicken Sandwich named Scootaloo made it to the finals...


but back on topic... The only reason why horsemeat = bad is the same reason dog and cat meat = bad... Horses like dogs and cats are considered pets and companion animals... but What about the Chickens and the Pigs?

what about them? That's the issue on this, but I'd rather not eat Pony... cause Ponies...



OK Mr. SLJ... The People of Guam are pre-emptively striking the Monkey Fighting Snakes before they enter the monday to Friday planes! they'll do it by Parachuting dead mice with Acetaminofen in their bodies!

While Hasbro may have stopped the awesome game fighting is Magic, they did allow the Fan-Made Episode Double Rainboom to exist... It's coming on March 30th 2013... and Here's the trailer!

Hey! What the!? Russian Armageddon (the movie) IRL

You know that I hold Russia in a very special place in my heart... Trololo, Tetris, Vodka, terrified of their roads, bears...



Holy crap! Michael Bay must have a boner and be disappointed at the same time... So far no one died, but various were injured by the side effects (sonic boom breaking windows and people getting hurt by them and other debris.

It's funny how Yesterday a Meteor passed by and these Meteorites hit Russia and various news sources were saying that the meteor passing by would not harm anyone or make an impact in our telecommunications...

Russia seems to disagree... I'd make a joke about their driving, but that would be tasteless...
I wonder... how many silver haired Mama's boys jumped with glee yesterday?

No wonder Miley's So Undercover... and LOL

I just saw a clip from the movie So Undercover and I need the worlds most epic Facepalm to begin describing my thoughts:


This looks like it does belong on the straight to DVD aisle... like most of the Steven Seagal movies...
Seriously, Miley needs to stop trying too hard to be flashy and focus on her talents...

This whole scene was Cringeworthy and too Miss Congeniality, it's not as bad as...

Gropey: The sexual assault dwarf!

Justin Bieber seems to love his fans a bit TOO Much... This pic from his fan site was quickly removed  for obvious reasons... At least she can say: "Justin Bieber grabbed my left boob!" and if she's underage... he might be screwed...
Seriously, dude... stop trying to be badass... you're not doing it right...



Now, It seems that we MAY NOT be screwed with this whole Girl Meets World thing...
There's an interview with Mr. Matthews himself where he's putting our fears to rest. and, I hope he's right.


I know it's not the Feeny call but it's got Cory and TOPANGA!!

Hey what the!? Cena, Honey Boo Boo... Oh no!

What started as an insult to the Hulk Hogan wannabe of the 21-st Century has become a Reality! John Cena is Nicole Westbrook to Hulk Hogan's Rebecca Black... Guess that makes Vince McMahon the Creepy Turkey guy! 

As you can see on the video, Fruity Pebbles was used to insult the "amazing" John Cena... Now Cena has replaced Fred Flintstone as Fruity Pebbles mascot.

Yabba Dabba Don't!

You think that's bad? Things are about to get worse... Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! The Comic...
Sometimes Humanity makes me wish we had that Rapture, or Mayan Apocalypse, or Hercolubus.

He was a cop and good at his job. But, he committed the ultimate sin, and  other cops gone bad. Cops that tried to kill him, but got the woman he loved instead. Framed for murder, now he prowls the badlands. An outlaw hunting outlaws. A bounty hunter. A Renegade. Then the show was cancelled. He faded into obscurity and now came back."

He has the scrotum of a 25 year old... Well that's what he said on Full Bounty!

Lorenzo Lamas is back on TV on the Reality show Full Bounty, where a group of contestants are competing to become the next Bounty Hunter and who else than the man who played Reno Raines, the Renegade to be a Contestant... and this is the least WTF news for today cause The Full Bounty is Freaking AWESOME!!

Hey What the!? Driving in Russia

I will not start this with a lame In Soviet Russia X X's you... cause WHAT THE HELL, RUSSIA!?



GTA in real life... That's how I can describe this... in one sentence... I'm almost using shatner-speak cause it's very shocking to see how they drive in Russia... no wonder they're so badass. Seriously, look at the videos and tell me that going to work is like being in an action movie ON A DAILY BASIS! If anyone knows how to say Yippie Kay yay in Russian please tell me how...

Speaking of Russia and John McClane... There's a 5th Die Hard movie...

This time McClane teams up with his son to fight Russian Terrorists or something... Am I the only one who misses Officer Carl Winslow?

Bieber smoking pot!? Bielebe it! It appears that squeaky clean Bieber has been caught smoking pot... Instead of hitting salvia from a bong... The problems with being a Celebrity... especially with a fanbase full of kids...


Cause Bieber dies and Yuna Dances...

Happy Birthday Zazu! Happy Birthday Nigella Lawson, and Black Ranger #2!

Wait what the!? Topanga!?

Yup, you read right... Topanga... Why Topanga? Because if I mention Cory, you're going to be huh? and I think I've overused Mr. Feeny...

Yes, I'm talking Boy Meets World... Why? Apparently there is a sequel/spin-off show called Girl Meets World. I found out thanks to Yahoo! making a Child Stars "where are they now" news story. I originally was going to go with a what the heck happened to Lark Voorhies? post, but it's possible that she has a disease that is why she looks off. The cynic in me wants to say something, but out of thanks for being part of a show that entertained me for years, I won't.
So, back to main topic... Boy Meets World Sequel starring Cory and Topanga's Daughter...
First red flag... The show is NOT about Cory. It's about his daughter, which means that Cory is taking the back seat... So, those of you expecting it to be a NEW season of Boy Meets World will be Disappointed.

Second Red Flag: It's a Disney Channel show... Wait... Mr. Hannah Montana Fan is complaining about Disney Channel? Yes, Yes I am... Have YOU SEEN RECENT DISNEY SHOWS? (Including my beloved Hannah)
Adults are STUPID in Disney Channel Comedies... I think that if Eric shows up he'd be a mess... Think Final BMW Season Eric but taking it up a few notches... Heck! that would make any character played by Jerry Trainor seem sane... We can't have NORMAL Adults on Disney Channel Comedies... So, No Alan and Amy-Esque Parents for The Topangaborn...

Third Red Flag: Disney Channel Tween Star...






All these girls had/have their own Disney Channel Show... Conveniently, they Sing... So, I'm 85% certain that the Topangaborn will be a Singer. There is nothing bad with having a multi-talented kid... What worries me is that the Disney Overlords will probably try to shove down the kid's singing abilities INTO the show... Which would kinda distract us from the whole Boy Meets World "Atmosphere" it must create since it's in the same universe as Boy Meets World... (Sadly the BMWverse tends to break the 4th Wall every now and then.)

I seriously hope that this show tries to keep the Feel, but at the same time I fear it will be TOO Different... Like comparing Hippie Topanga vs Normal Adult Topanga... (Hopefully Topanga will not have a Hippie regression)



That's what we want and that's what we WON'T GET! Especially if it's on the NORMAL Disney Channel, not ABC...

Hey What the!? Tanning Mom: The rant and other stuff

Tanning Mom: The story of a Woman obsessed with tanning that allegedly took her 5 yo. daughter to a tanning booth. The little girl got sunburnt by waiting outside, or so the mother says. Obviously people have called her out on this. When Snooki of Jersey Shore fame calls you a bad mom, seriously you need to reconsider your position.
This is what Tanning Mom had to say to all of her critics:

"I saw the headlines today, but I don't care! I don't care what anyone thinks of me!" 

 "There's somebody out there, for my whole life, that doesn't like me because they are jealous, fat, and they're ugly." 

"I don't always sit in tanning booths," she insisted. "I have a life." 

 Hoo boy! Where do we start. It's obvious that she doesn't care, since she spends so much time tanning instead of taking care of her kid! She has a life... yet the Overcooked skin color says otherwise... From Orange to Brown so fast? She's got to spend TOO MUCH time on them booths.

Now, the whole "tanning mom" detractors being "jealous, fat and ugly" is rather funny. I'm pretty sure that most people don't want their flesh to look like a handbag or a sandal. Also, what kind of ADULT comes up with such a childish answer!?

Now on a more different topic: Famous actor and one-time Adventurer (Meaning he spent a weekend with Bear Grylls), Jake Gyllenhaal can play a really convincing cop! He's so convincing that he tricked some real cops while filming his latest movie! That's pretty cool! Having an actor devote so much time to get it right that he got cops fooled into thinking he was one of them... Luckily he's using his actor powers for good and not evil!

Speaking of cool people using their powers for good, this man, a huge radio history fanatic became a Mystery solving sleuth... kinda like a Scooby Gang but no marihuana references! He solved the Mystery of the disappearing files from the National Archives and Records Administration!He did it all without Scooby Snacks!!

Hey What the!? CHeezburger Pizza!? I can haz it!?

Yes, Pizza Hut has topped the craziness of the Stuffed Crust or the Insider Pizza or the Stuffed Crust Insider Pizza by making a pizza with a Cheeseburger crust!
Sure it's not available in America, but they made it... They also have one with hot dogs and another one with chicken fingers...

Damn! Looks like the Heart Attack Grill strikes again!
Another Customer fell to a Hamburger from this place... Part of me wants to try their food... possibly deadly but possibly tasty... since almost everything that tastes good is bad for you... sorry that's the diet talking... I mean it's not like they have Bacon shakes or anything...

Bacon shakes!? That's Crazy! Bacon Sundaes is where it's at! No, Really... Burger King is TESTING Bacon Sundaes!
I dunno... It sounds odd, but then again I love dunking fries on Wendy's Frosty... Not doing it anymore though... (D-I-E-T!!) but you get the idea, a combo of something sweet with something salty...

But there seems to be a trend with Food... Looks like we're pushing the envelope on Possibly harmful stuff instead of making eating Healthy more tasty.

Hey What the!? Ponies in Tights!? MLP: FIM Much?

Compression suits for Horses!? Wait, did the whole Compression clothing even work on humans?
Well Apparently they do work on humans AND Horses... the only reason it caught my attention is obviously My Little Pony related... Skintight horse clothing... Where have I seen this before?



But that's not the only reason... Just picture the Equestrian Compression Suits with Cutie Marks... MLP in Real Life!


OK... Looks like Tara Strong is not welcome in Arizona. Miss Trollight Sparkle, whose antics on Twitter have caused an uproar that could be considered Trolling due to the vague wording of the Anti-Troll Bill... Protecting kids from bullies is fine, but not when the "Protection" is a form of censorship on everyone. This message or any of my previous and future posts are not meant to be offensive, or a form of Trolling... (Need to cover my own plot!) Seriously, how can you ID "Trolling" from "having a different opinion" also, JAIL TIME!? Isn't that a bit too much?