Hey what the!? A theme park from Mattel,

 What the Hell!? Mattel is making a theme park in Arizona... makes sense, middle of nowhere and able to get cheap labor... if you know what I mean.

I'm mocking the fact that they have to go to Arizona to build the park  instead of say, Texas, Florida, or even Mattel's native

California... We all know that this is because it was most likely dirt cheap to make it there... also it's not Iowa whose points to fame are: Corn, American Gothic farmhouse... you know the one with the farmer and his wife daughter... and the future birth place of James Tiberius Kirk. 

Let's be honest, what's in Arizona... not the iced tea, that's made in NEW YORK. 

You can see Desert... More Desert... A Gash in the ground that is in, you guessed it, the Desert... a Tourist trap made famous because Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner played played a dude that got in a shootout with some other dudes in that town. Did I mention the Desert? Also there's desert... where everyone would dehydrate and need some overpriced Ice cold Coke... as they wait in line to the Mattel themed attractions... Probably Barbie, Hot Wheels, and goddammit... They're going to make a He-Man ride. Hopefully based on the REAL He-Man and not based on any of the Netflix Bastardizations.

Supposed to open in 2023... wonder if Max Steel will get any recognition... I have to wonder if Mattel is being a pioneer here of if they're copying Hasbro...

Looks like Hasbro is making a park South of the Border and has one Above the Other border, eh?

At least NECA and McFarlane are above such crazy Shenanigans... Now that I said it, I'm expecting the following announcement

"Ever gone to a public bathroom in a gas station and seen a hole in a urinal stand? The hole is at groin height and seems big enough to look into the next stall.

Hi, I'm Todd McFarlane, creator of Spawn, and Al Simmons made a horrible mistake and looked into the hole. He ended up with Baby batter in the eye. That's why I'm making a Spawn themed Horror park! It will be open only at night because it's time for Spawn!"