McFarlane John Carlton figure: The rant:

 We are getting a Klassic John Carlton figure by Todd McFarlane...

Carlton was played by Daniel Pesina. 

In standard McFarlane flair, Accessories are nearly non existent:

No green energy ball... no shadows... to ne fair, I wouldn't put it past Todd to make a Translucent green Shadow Johnny as a Two pack item and a red shadow Johnny as a Target exclusive.

This promo pic worries me... I'll let you figure out why...

Odds and ends Super7, erotic statuettes, and stuff.

 It's not secret that I'm getting Erotic 3D Pronted statues for my action figures. We saw: Prom Night Seductress and Valkyrie figures.

Well, I've ordered some more.

-One figure that is called  "Vilma" but looks like -an "Abril".

-A pair of "Good Sisters" that look like Rosalina and Peach.

-A "Swimsuit Fighter" which is SFV Cammy.

-A "Bound Fighter" which is Chun Li in a compromising Position.

-Mai Shiranui... this one they didn't give her a "fake name" to bypass their unofficial status.

These will be mostly Diorama pieces to share between Nefty and Nick R. Cade... and his dad.

So, the reason I mention these is that Fan Art knows no bounds.

 Sexy Anime Girl Jesus Tittyfucking Christ. Dammit! All I wanted was the Resident Evil Girls:

RE1 Jill, Rebecca, Ada, Sheva, Ashley... RE6 Sherry... Not Anime Girl Jesus!

Hell, I'd kill for Darkstalkers.

Mainly Morrigan and Felicia... which are available already... but I will get those later on...

I wouldn't say no to Hsien-Ko... and Rikuo, because he is strangely handsome for a Fishman... also, do my ears deceive me or is that 200X Man at Arms playing Donovan?

Ooh Ace Attorney! I'd give my left nut for Ace Attorney statues.

Super7 may not longer make Classic TMNT Ultimates toys, but I'll look back at the vintage waves and celebrate the top 10 figures...

10: Guerrilla Gorilla:

Ape John Cena. He's a fun figure... BEEEEG But Fun!

9: Slash:

While he doesn't bring anything truly new to the table, He is Fantastic... I got four of them and he is NOT an Army Builder 

8: Rat King:

I got 3 of them. The first one is to be a Mirage "inspired", the second one is Toon Inspired, and the third is Bishie Rat King who I made the estranged son of Mirage Rat King.

7:GITD Muckman: Cumman:

.While mockman was a really good figure that I ended up repainting to make it more icky, the glowing dark variant being in white plastic, made him perfect for calm jokes, and that's why he's really high on my list.

6: Wingnut:

He's just Batman... And really big, that's why he is on the list. Surprise That super 7 never made any wing nut variants based on other Batman colors...

5: Ace Duck:

Yes he's unfortunately smaller than turtles.He had a few issues with their hands connecting on the arm. Everybody knows I got him because of Shenmue references.

4: Rappin' Michelangelo:

Despite mine having a small issue, he's an amazing figure. PERIOD.

3: Shredder:

While super 7 did nothing remarkable with the figure, it was a very solid figure...

2: Vanilla Turtles:

Like most of the older waves there were very few noteworthy upgrades. Painted weapons was huge. Honestly I wish they had used Wacky Action heads for alternates.

1: Scumbug:

He may be a rip off , but it's a cool figure despite the various hiccups.But let's be honest.This list ain't in order.

NOW FOR THE 1OP 10 I WISH SUPER7 HAD TACKLED :

10: Kala:

Sure I would have liked Dask as well but c'est la vie. If I have to pick a single neutrino I pick Kala.

9: Traag:

We were robbed of Krang's, Android body... and his general too. 

8: Don the Undercover Turtle:

I made a custom...

But we should've gotten an official one.

7:Heavy Metal Raph:

Just for the sake of completing the band.

6: Vernon:

Why not Irma you may be thinking:

Vernon would be the most "action" of the Channel 6 trio. Don't get me wrong, I'd like all three, but from a toyetic perspective, VERNON is the safe choice. Also, I fear rigid plastic skirts...

5: Fugitoid:

A White and Blue GITD Variant would've been neat! Hell, it would've become my main Fugitoid.

4: Krang's Android Body:

Luckily TLS made a decent one that scales with Ultimates, but I wanted an official Ultimates.

3: April The Ravishing Reporter:

Without Rooted hair, of course. Yes, it was all mostly to get extras to make GTA3 Styled hookers.  

2: Scaletail:

I may hate snakes, but him would've made a bitchin' figure.

1: Pizzaface:

This, but with Ultimates articulation would have been sweet! And the Horsemen allegedly sculpted him since the early waves. Also, you KNEW Pizzaface HAD to be on this list.

Honorable mentions:

 Movie Figures:

I don't Mean, the movie turtles. I mean Super Shredder Tokka Rahzar 

Movie 3 Figures:

I kinda wanted Walker and Mitsu... the Latter for making an Aska.

Undercover turtles:

Or at least heads and trenchcoats to use on the vanilla turtles.

Oroku Saki and Hamato Yoshi:

Self Explanatory.

Movie TMNT have a relationship with Klassic Mortal Kombat.

Only Raiden and Sonya are the only MK1 characters who don't have adirect relationship with MOVIE TMNT... and even the OG MK movie had some involvement with TMNT... Movie Liu Kang's brother was A Turtle stunt double. 

Kano and Johnny Cage (who also was the MK Ninjas) were foot Ninja, while Liu Kang and Kung Lao were Turtles. Holy shitballs!

Why didn't anyone tell me that Shang Tsung is dead!?

 Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa... the guy who played Shang Tsung in the good Mortal Kombat movie. Was seen by Haley Joel Osment last month. A stroke is to blame.

He was Heihachi in the shitty Teklen movie. A movie I swore I wouldn't watch. He obviously was known as Shang Tsung.

He also was in tmnt 2012...

He was in VAMPIRES!? As In 

The movie where Hades has to fight Terry Silver?

He also was in The Phantom... but I only know him as Shang Tsung... Hopefully this won't lead to a Deadly Alliance.

Test your might! Test your might! Test you might! Test your might!

 MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!!

You know how it goes:

I have an update on the MK Kollection game:

Mortal Kombat – 1992 (Arcade, SNES, Genesis, Game Boy, Game Gear)

Mortal Kombat II – 1993 (Arcade, SNES, Genesis, Game Boy, 32X)

Mortal Kombat 3 – 1995 (Arcade, SNES, Genesis)

Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 – 1995 (Arcade, WaveNet Arcade, SNES)

Mortal Kombat Trilogy – 1996 (PlayStation)

Mortal Kombat 4 – 1997 (Arcade)

Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero – 1997 (PlayStation)

Mortal Kombat Special Forces – 2000 (PlayStation)

Mortal Kombat Advance – 2001 (Game Boy Advance)

Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance – 2002 (Game Boy Advance)

Mortal Kombat: Tournament Edition – 2003 (Game Boy Advance)

The shitty spin-off games made it! ML Trilogy made it! No True Deadly Alliance, Deception, or Armageddon. But it has all the 2D MKs so that's something. Anyways: Soon...

Keith David, Voice of Chaos, got his own star.

Yes, it's a Dissidia reference... like I was going to start with the big guns.

I'm talking about Goliath's voice actor. We'll, he got his star on Hollywood's walk of fame. 

Meanwhile IGN, doesn't even mention his two biggest voice roles. They talk his iconic live action role on John Carpenter's The Thing. They mention Mass Effect, Halo, Saints Row, Destiny 2, but don't mention that he was THE voice of Spaw. All the way to MK11. Or Gargoyles. Fuck IGN, but congrats to Mr. DAVID. 

An Epic Kollection is Koming

 Kan you guess the game collection koming?

I can't say the name, but permanently disbarred attorney Jack Thompson might get pissed about it. Wait, what? Thompson now praises videogames? Hillary Klinton might get her panties in a bunch. 

Still no idea? How about we let these fine folks illuminate you:

Yes! Mortal Kombat Kollection!

○The first 3 Mortal Kombats in ALL VERSIONS including portable ones and home consoles. Not just the Arcades.

○MK4, no N64 version mentioned or the MK Gold Dreamcast mentioned.

○MK Trilogy is MIA.

○No Mythologies or Special Forces mentioned.

○MK Advanced for the GBA

○The GBA port of Deadly Alliance. No mention of other Deadly Alliance games

○MK Tournament Edition 2003

○No mention of Shaplin Monks, Deadly Alliance, Deception, or Armageddon 

It would be awesome if we got the games all the way to Armageddon, but if I can only choose ONE game to add, it's Shaolin Monks. Not gonna lie, it would be cool if we got the shitty Mythologies and Special Forces, but I'd rather have Shaolin Monks.

Losing DC might be a good thing for Todd.

 Todd McFarlane, creator of Spawn, has some treats coming.

IDW TMNT Page Punchers... that kinda compete with The Loyal Subjects Best AXN line.

Alternate Feet? Curious. But this isn't what I am excited for Todd...

KLASSIC MORTAL KOMBAT FIGURES!!

Of course, Todd starts with the parts reuse right out the gate.

But to make matter worse, Mileena is relegated to a Two Pack with Sub Zero

My only nitpick is that they lack accessories. Subzero with no freeze effect? Liu Kang with no fireball? I swear if Todd makes a Kombat Pack, I'll scream. Also, make these widely available, because most of your figures are underproduced. And sell out worse than Mattycollector's beginnings.

What if Super7 did Mortal Kombat:

 Based on the First Game Only. Just for the sake of completing a roster. If successful then we move to MK2, then 3 and I don't care after that.

So, let's see who we have available:

Kano

Liu Kang

Raiden

Johnny Cage 

Scorpion

Subzero 

Sonya

Reptile

Goro

Shang Tsung

That's 10 figures or 3 waves of 3 figures and a single Oversized Goro Release.

Wave 1:

Liu Kang:

2 heads: Neutral, angry.

Hands: standard hands for Liu Kang 

Accessories: fireball with stand.

Liu Kang is a vanilla release with nothing flashy to add. 

Reptile:

3 heads: Ninja masked head, MK2 head, MK2 reptilian head with articulated jaw and swappable tongues

Hands: standard hands for MK Ninja

Accessories:

Scorpion's spear long and short

Subzero iceball with stand.

Removed MK2 Ninja Mask

Tongues

Force bubble effects

Acid spit effect

I know I am adding Mortal Kombat 2 elements to this Reptile. The reason I'm doing this is so it doesn't feel like a cheap repaint. It also means that I'm planning ahead for the Mortal Kombat 2 invisble variant release by pre-making some parts.

Sonya Blade:

3 heads: MK1 styled neutral, mk1 deadly kiss head, non canonical MK3 styled neutral head

Hands: standard Sonya hands

Accessories:

Energy rings with stand, deadly kiss, pile of ashes with some bones showing.

I'm adding the MK3 head as a preview of things to come and as a backup in case MK3 doesn't happen.

Super7's extortion pak:

-Movie styled Liu Kang head

-GITD Force Bubble and acid spit effects for Reptile

-MK3 Deadly kiss Sonya head.

Wave 2:

Raiden:

3 heads: Normal, normal with holes on eyes for GITD Lightning effects, Non canonical movie inspired head (Pesina likeness but with Lambert hair)

Hands: Standard Raiden hands, hands with plug holes for victory Lightning effects

Accessories:

GITD Lightning effect with stand

GITD Lightning effets that can be put on his arms and legs.

GITD lightning effect that plugs on head 2's eyeholes.

GITD Victory Lightning effects that plug in hands.

This figure is also setting up the precedent for a glow in the dark variant teleporting Raiden. Gotta milk those non-ninja molds.

Johnny Cage:

3 heads: neutral, angry, smiling

Hands: standard JC hands. Hand for holding intact glasses, hand for holding autographed photo, hand holding marker.

Accessories:

GITD green plasma ball with stand

$500 Glasses (intact)

$500 Glasses (smashed)

Signed Autograph.

There is a bit going on with Cage, but not that much. Also, I'm setting up a GITD Green "afterimage" variant.

Sub-Zero:

2 heads: MK1, MK2

hands, standard Sub-Zero hands

Accessories:

Ice ball with stand

Hands with icy effects for the deep freeze fatality, spine and skull with hinged jaw for the MK1 fatality.

Super7 extortion pak:

-movie inspired Raiden head with holes for GITD Lightning effects

-soft goods MK2 blue overlay and slip on bicep armor.

-Movie inspired Cage head

-Frozen spine and skull

Wave 3:

Kano:

3 heads: neutral, angry, with hole for firing laser

Hands: standard hands, Heart hand

Accessories:

Knife

Thrown knife with stand

Laser effect that plugs on head 3

Heart for heart hand

Plug in Blood splatter effect to simulate Kano sticking his hand into the opponent.

Shang Tsung:

Reuses Liu Kang body with Soft goods outfit.

4 Heads: Old Neutral, Old angry, Young Neutral, Young Angry.

Standard Shang Tsung hands.

Accessories:

MK1 sword

Skull fireball with stand

Mk2 top (soft goods)

Shang Tsung is a 2-in-1 figure and also takes a MK2 figure out of the to do list. Most of his cost lies on the soft goods.

Scorpion:

3 Heads: MK1, MK2, Skull with hinged jaw from Sub-Zero fatality.

Hands: standard Scorpion hands

Accessories:

Removed mask MK1

Removed mask MK2

Spear long and short

Fire breath effect

Sonya's pile of bones and ashes

Super7 extortion pak:

-Movie styled Kano head

-GITD soul sucking hands for Shang Tsung

-Scorpion skull repainted in smoldering colors with clip on flaming effects.

Wave 4:

Goro:

He's big...

3 Heads: Neutral, Angry, Movie inspired after getting pumched in the balls.

Hands: standard hands but doubled, since he has four hands.

Accessories:

Fireball with Stand

There isn't much to do with Goro. That's why he's alone... and that he's big.

But it's not over yet, since I started MK2, I have to see what they'd need to complete it:

Liu Kang

Raiden

Johnny Cage

Scorpion

Sub-Zero 

Reptile

Kitana

Mileena

Shang Tsung 

Jax

Kung Lao

Baraka

Smoke

Noob Saibot

Jade

Kintaro

Shao Kahn

That's 10 figures plus two oversized bosses.

Liu Kang is mostly a repaint but new heads and slip-on bracers. 

Johnny Cage requires new forearms and new everything from the waist down... and new heads.

Here I'd  give him bare forearms with both bracers from MK2 and MKT. 

Mk2 heads and MKT head

Curved Energy ball with modular stand. Reuse the autograph stuff from the first figure.

Smoke is a Scorpion redo with less accessoriws and some new ones as replacement.

1 head:

Same scorpion hands

Scorpion spear long and short

Smoke effects for arms.

Smoke cloud move

Noob Saibot is Scorpion with even less stuff and in black plastic.

I'd add a Kano head and the UMK3 smoke cloud projectile with stand.

Jade would be a Kitana repaint, so She'd get the Kitana stuff plus her staff and Shuriken. She'd be dark skinned like her UMK3 version though.

Jax would get arm interchangeably from the get go. (In preparation for the MK3 variant)

2 heads, standard hands.

For accessories the ground pound effect and the energy wave with stand.

Kitana gets 2 heads masked and unmasked.

She gets the standard hands and special spinning fan hands. (These two hands allow the use of a special free spinning fan accessory to simulate her whirlwind move.)

Accessories fans open, closed and a stand to hold the open fan when used as a projectile.

Mileena gets Kitana's body and hands (minus the fan hands) ishe gets her sai, projectile sai with stand and 2 alternate tarkatan heads. 

Baraka of course requires some attention, but is not too demanding in accessories.

Short and long arm blades, blade spartk effect.

Kung Lao, he requires some attention, but once you get past the body it's rather easy.

2 heads, usual hands, hat.

That's all the basic figures. 

All that's left is Shao Kahn and Kintaro... I won't go into those two because it's too much of a hassle and I can see Super7 repainting goro with a little partswap for Kintaro and now you're mad.

Rumor: Storm Collectibles lost the Mortal Kombat license

 No Shang Tsung,  No Sonya, and no Johnny Cage...

The rumors point out at this being hugely in part stemming from Warner Brothers. They've been a bit too micromanagement intense with thwir licenses and forced Todd to release Weapon packs and I can't believe one was released and I missed out... to the scalpers! Imagine how'd they overreact to the bloodiness of Mortal Kombat... 

I honestly don't know WHO should have the MK License:

Mattel has shitty distribution and would make Scorpion a Target exclusive while Subzero is Walmart's. Goro would be a Mattel website exclusive with Reptile only on BBTS and Entertainment Earth.

Hasbro would make 30 versions of Scorpion and Subzero and having Sonya in a Hasbro Pulse 5 pack with Stryker, Mokap, Kobra, and TsuHao. Kitana would be in an amazon exclusive 5 pack with Mavado, Daego, Taven, and Meat. 

NECA would release a few ninjas, then give up when Shujinko isn't selling Scorpion numbers.

Won't mention McFarlane because he'd turn it into another SpaMn line.

Super7... let's do that tomorrow.

While MK 1 won't be for me, I have good news.

 Cole Young, the protagonist from the shitty MK Movie Reboot WILL NOT BE IN MK 1. That is some great news: what's not great news are the rumored guest kombatants.

Homelander, Omniman, and Peacemaker are the top 3 rumored characters. Personally, Peacemaker feels out of place here. He's better off on Injustce 3. While Omniman and Homelander can fit the MK mold, having Superman knock-offs in Mortal Kombat is kinda lame. 

Wargods: now there's a lot of potential in here. I know the original game wasn't that great and the graphics were a little bad, but it's technically a Midway game, which means Netherrealm might own the property.

Conan: yes I'm talking about that Conan. The Barbarian not the talk show host, just making sure we're on the same page. Think about it. Strong, savage, violent, perfect for MK. There's lots of potential in Conan... especially if they go for the Public domain version of Conan... solely based on the stuff published by Robert E. Howard when he was alive... or work with whoever holds the rights now. (They've changed hands recently) in order to get THIS Conan.

Lobo: I lnow I have a beef with DC stuff in MK, but Lobo males more sense than Joker. The only reason Joker is in is because they already have Joker's VA playing Raiden and they don't need to hire anyone else... also, Brad Garrett should play Lobo.

But let's be honest here: the Guest Kombatant thing is nothing more than a half-assed, desperate gimmick...

Mirage Turtles and Shredder: LuiKangdammit! Please notice that I said MIRAGE and not the pop culture idea of the Turtles where Leonardo Leads, Donatello does Machines, Raphael is cool but rude, Michelangelo is a party dude... I mean the mean and gritty Morage Universe, where the Turtles are edgier than a Zack Snyder movie. I don't want the Injustice Turtles in MK1... I want something along the lines of MIRAGE universe or DARKER...

But all we need is a Street Fighter crossover (which unfortunately won't happen, because Capcom looks down on MK)

Mortal Kombat 1 gameplay perplexes me

 Feels like Netherrealm has lost its way. 

It "looks pretty". But looking pretty isn't enough. The gameplay seems slow and clunky and relies far too much on the "Kameo Kombatant" gimmick, which I personally find lame as hell. It's nothing more than a half-assed tag mold that has a lot more in common with the PlayStation 1 Port of Marvel versus games that it has with the arcade version of Marvel versus games. Why not have a real tag team mode where you can switch characters at will? How about something like the original Mortal Kombat's endurance mode, where both characters had to be beaten in order to push forward? 

Now the biggest question is: How in the Hell is this game on Nintendo Switch but not on Xbox One and PS4!? The second issue is Why so slow? It feels like it's running at ×0.80 speed.

Then there's the Kameo Kombatants. They are NPCs that pop in for attacks. Kinda like the MvC 1 assist characters. Stryker returns as a Non-Playable Character. Oh, so you want to play as Stryker? Well, F*** You!! Goro? Might as well get punched in the dick! Because he's a Kameo Kombatant...

I don't think MK1 is for me... oh well... 

Mortal Kombat 12 loses the 2 and is now Mortal Kombat 1

 So many reboots... this is worse than DC Comics. So Liu Kang is now the new Raiden after MK 11 and he resets time and trains the OG Kung Lao and you know what, just watch the trailer.

I may be in a minority but, I hate it. 3 games and reboot. What the hell? I don't see why must we go through MK1 and 2 all over again. It looks pretty, and the violence looks deliciously disgusting, but I feel the game is trying a bit too hard to recapture that feeling from the early 90s. I mean, they would be desperate enough to have Jean-Claude Van Damme play Johnny Cage...

Wait, they actually have a Jean-Claude Van Damme skin for Johnny Cage!? You son of a bitch! THEY ARE THAT DESPERATE! The most laughable thing about this game is that it will not be on PlayStation 4 or Xbox One but, it will be on the Nintendo switch. On the Nintendo switch a game that barely can pull off PS3 graphics. If it's on Switch why not XBOne and PS4? Jean-Claude Van Damme better record all his lines while coked up.

Why 2021 is inferior to 1995? Mortal Kombat a second movie rant

 As in this is the second rant onMortal Kombat movies, not a rant about Second Mortal Kombat movies.

Sure, 1995 had a PG-13 rating and very few Asians. The star power came from French Tarzan... but it's  a million times better than 2021.

So, let me explain why 2021 MK sucked donkey dick.

Magic MK Logo marks:

The movie makes an emphasis on these Marks, making those who have them into superhuman warriors. People who lack these marks are at a "severe disadvantage" against those who have them.

How are these marks obtained? By killing a person with a MK Logo mark and it passes unto you.

Wait... They didn't want to train Sonya because she didn't have the Mark, but she effectively kills Kano before getting the Mark... 

O Tournament where art thou?

The movie makes a huge deal about the Mortal Kombat tournament yet everything that happens is before said tournament even starts. What's the point of talking about the tournament if you're not going to do the actual tournament. I know that future games ignore that tournament angle. Usually these games happen after Liu Kang wins the first Mortal Kombat blocking Outworld's Invasion on Earth, which forces Shao Kahn to bypass the tournament rules and invade Earth.

Here on the 2021 bastardization we have Shang Tsung already cheating and the tournament hasn't even started.

Liu Kang Who?

The main character in Mortal Kombat is none other than Liu Kang. In the 2021 bastardization he's nothing more than a glorified cameo. The movie follows Cole Yawn, a dull boring Store Brand Johnny Cage, that happens to be Scorpion's great great great great grandson... who happens to have a literal plot armor as a superpower. It's most likely that Cole Yawn was a studio mandate. Wait, he was? You don't say! 

Then again it's WB, the studio who loves to mess up with adaptations and then wonder why did they suck. (Except with Zack Snyder... those suck even without studio meddling.) The 2021 adaptation did Liu Kang dirty.

Story? What story? This is about a game where 2 people are beating themselves up until one gets killed in outlandish ways... WE are giving it pathos and meaning

This is why the movie fails. I've mentioned that I'm more of a fan of the Mortal Kombat lore than the actual games. This movie wipes its ass with the lore, while the 1995 movie was more faithful to it, despite the changes. Sure, the first game was basically Enter the Dragon but with Superpowers... but they had a lot of room to play with using the characters' backstories.

I know, I know, I'm talking big criticizing, but not offer any solutions... I can't offer solutions since the movie is already made and people are suggesting that Johnny Cage should be Awesome... but since I'm not a "professional writer", I can't write a script. What I can do is make a quick outline more or less telling the story I would tell for a MK movie...

I'd start with the Scorpion and Sub-zero feud, where Bi-Han under Quan Chi's orders eliminates the Shirai Ryu. The fight ends with Hasashi dying and reaching Hell. Then we go to two years ago, where the International Special Forces have a squad led by Jackson Briggs, Hsu Hao, and Sonya Blade attempting to capture the infamous Black Dragon Clan. The operation goes wrong (thanks to Hsu Hao) and it becomes a shitfest. Here is where Kabal nearly dies and eventually dons the respirator. Tremor, No Face, and Tasia are "kannon fodder" to showcase Fatalities. Hsu Hao gets injured, Sonya explodes Kano's right eye with her Energy Blast. 

We move to the present day at the Temple of the Order of Light, where Liu Kang and Kung Lao are sparring to find out who will represent the Temple of the Order of Light in Mortal Kombat. Liu Kang barely defeats Kung Lao and Lord Raiden consoles Kung Lao by reminding him that while the Order of Light can only send One Kombatant, there are other ways to represent Earthrealm in Mortal Kombat.

We now move to the Warner Brothers movie lot in Burbank California. And since I'm me, I would have a shot of the water tower similar to the Animaniacs intro as the Animaniacs theme begins to play where we cut to Johnny Cage in a Mocap Suit answering said phone and whining about doing videogame Motion Capture, because the studio doesn't want to hire Zack Snyder to direct Ninja Mime 4, but they want to hire Joss Whedon. Another guy in a Motion Capture suit (Mokap) tells Cage that Sifu Pesina is looking for him. This scene mirrors the 95 movie where Cage enters Mortal Kombat. As Sifu Pesina leaves, he turns into Shang Tsung.

("Snydercut version" would have Shang Tsung cycle from Sifu Pesina to Linden Ashby to Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa to the current Shang Tsung)

 We go back to Sonya and Jax who are discussing new Black Dragon operations at her place where a courier drops a package for Sonya. Said package has an invitation to Mortal Kombat for her and one for Jax as well as photographs and surveillance videos showing that Kano is not only alive but participating in Mortal Kombat.

Now we have Kano, Liu Kang, Raiden, Johnny Cage, and Sonya on their way to the island. Shang Tsung hiring a Lin Kuei assassin to eliminate Earthrealm Kombatants in and out of the tournament would bring back Bi-Han, who we can say was frozen for years because, something something cryomancers, something something need "ice sleeps" for longevity.

Having Sub-zero awake, triggers Scorpion's return. 

They get to the island, where Shang Tsung explains the tournament and we have a Test your Might scene. As Sub-zero attempts to assassinate Liu Kang outside of Kombat, Scorpion shows up and kills the Lin Kuei assassin. Meanwhile, Jax and Sonya are attecked by A group of Tarkatans and are saved by Raiden and Kung Lao. Since this is not an official Kombat, Raiden can intervene (Lightning, teleport, Superman, you name it.)

In this free for all, we get to see Raiden and Kung Lao's moves and fatalities.

Johnny Cage gets to fight a Tarkatan that is NOT Baraka in an official Kombat. Cage finally understands the seriousness of Kombat, but he gets to showcase his Fatality AND Friendship.

("Snydercut version" The Beheading Uppercut is replayed from 3 different angles as a nod to the 3 head Fatality bug) 

Sonya gets an official match against Kano. 

Liu Kang, while stalked by Reptile, gets his official match agains the Zaterran.

Jax fights Goro and gets his arms ripped out.

Liu Kang is put to fight against Kung Lao and refuses to finish his opponent.  Shang Tsung descends to absorb Kung Lao's soul, but is interrupted by Raiden, who reminds Shang Tsung that his repeated attempts at sidestepping the rules have been noted by the Elder Gods and it could put Shang Tsung's stake on Earth in danger. Shang Tsung backs down but announces that Cage will battle Goro. Sonya is aghast, because she knows what the Shokan did to Jax. She's trying to dissuade Cage from fighting Goro, but Cage calms her and asks for a date after he beats Goro.

The fight between Cage and Goro would begin similarly to the 95 movie. Cage will lure Goro away from his labyrinthine Lair to the Pit Arena. Where the gigantic Shokan wouldn't have the advantage. Goro begins to gain the advantage, when Liu Kang invokess the Endurance round rules to Goro. With Liu Kang's help  Johnny Cage manages to make Goro fall from the pit. Since Liu Kang delivered the Killing Blow, he passes to the final against Shang Tsung.

The final battle, should be very trippy with Liu Kang battling Shang Tsung, who uses his sorcery to mimic other fighters. Mirror Match, fighting the other 6 MK Kombatants. In the end Liu Kang wins and lets Shang Tsung go, so he can face his Emperor as a failure. The movie ends with a montage of "endings" Liu Kang returning as champion to the Temple of Light and Kung Lao asks for a rematch. They're interrupted as a woman from Outworld (Mileena posing as Kitana) hands Liu Kang an invitation to a Special Mortal Kombat in Outworld. Raiden leaves to ask the Elder Gods the meaning of this. Sonya is overseeing Jax's recovery from the battle, with his new Cybernetic arms. Meanwhile, Hsu Hao connects a flash drive to one of the ISF computers. Johnny Cage is preparing to go to an award ceremony as he steps into the limo we see Sonya as she complains about this being the second most bizarre date she's ever being. To which Johnny replies that fighting monsters in an island to defend the fate of Earth via a martial arts tournament is the weirdest date he's ever been... but also the best because he met Sonya there.

Final scene we have Bi-Han burning in hell as the camera zooms in on his face to switch into the Lin Kuei chamber where he was frozenas we zoom out from a frozen member (Kuai Liang) opening his eyes as Mileena drops an invitation to Mortal Kombat. 

I know that some of the complaints will be that it's a bit too close to the game and 1995 movie. I'll admit that the main intention was sticking to the games. I did have a few intentional "tributes" to the 1995 movie, mainly with Johnny Cage, since it made Johnny Likable. The tournament is still the main focus, but at the same time, giving motivations to most of the characters... I tried to keep most of the key players alive for the sake of the sequels. That's the main reason why I used stuff from the horrible Special Forces game since it gave me plenty of Cannon father for Jax and Sonya. Adding Hsu Hao to the mix is pure sequel baiting. With Kano seemingly dead, Kabal can take Reigns of the black dragon. With Bi-Han dead, I can bring Kuai Liang to the sequel. Goro's death paves the way for Kintaro and Sheeva.

Every playable character from the games should get a moment to shine. Aside Mileena, who is sequel bait... especially, since on the sequel I want to play with both Kitana and Mileena confusing Liu Kang. Since this is a vague and basic idea of story, I'm not going too deep with dialogue, camera angles, soundtrack, etc.

Test your might Mortal Kombat 2021 rant

As I'm walking home from the cinema after watching Mortal Kombat 2021 I have thoughts. Social distancing measures birthday again and there were only six people at the showing, with me sitting the furthest from all people. Funny thing is that the guys at the cinema had closed all seats in the row I usually sit on except for my usual seat... I have been using the same seat long before the pandemic started.

I wish I could say that it sucked. Sadly it didn't suck. I wish I could say it was awesome. Sadly it wasn't. It exists... and that's the best thing I can say about it without going on a long-winded rant on how Annihilation levels of bad this movie is.

Having Fatalities and gore a good Mortal Kombat movie does not make. The main problem with this movie is that it's a try-hard. It tries way too hard to be serious and edgy, but it ignores the inherent silliness within Mortal Kombat. Jax's cyber arms are the epitome of ridiculousness that this movie takes super seriously. They were built by monks in a cave and they begin as rudimentary mechanical prosthetics and they look Wimpy! Wimpy! Wimpy! They get Hefty! Hefty! Hefty! By magic... It is ridiculously stupid to have the US using top secret prototype robotics on Jax, but Magic Monks gave him Magical Robotic Arms in a freaking Cave... powered by the magical MK Logo brand.

Fuck Cole Young with a rusty Kunai!!

Nothing personal against Lewis Tan, but Cole Young is a shitty character that was unnecessary for the movie. The Protagonist of Mortal Kombat is Liu Kang. Why the fuck is Liu Kang acting like a fucking Sidekick in Mortal Kombat!! Also, it takes nearly 30 minutes for Liu Kang to show up... Roughly a bit after the 90 minute mark, Scorpion shows up at the end of the movie to fight Sub-zero, because Dull Ass Cole Young needs help from his great great great grandpappy to beat the evil ice man. All the talk about the Tournament, yet Shang Tsung bypasses everything about the tournament. He starts pulling expendable warriors out of his ass and none of them make sense in the context of "first movie".

This movie takes all the worst elements of a Zack Snyder movie and applies them to Mortal Kombat 

Mileena is wasted, since she dies and the whole Kitana Klone Angle is unexplored. Nitara is brought in just to become Cannon Fodder. Same thing as General Reiko. Kabal's ties with Kano are pulled out of their asses. Looks like the Director, who it seems THIS is his first "big movie" will have to take a page out of Zack Snyder's handbook and explain everything he left out in interviews. Also 3 people have writing credits... one if them is the writer of Netflix Death Note 2, the other is one of the 3 writers for WW84.

BuT iS rAtEd R aNd HaS GoRe AnD tHe FaTaLiTiEs! 

Adding Gold Flecks to a turd doesn't change the fact that it's a turd. It has some pretty bits, but it's still a turd. Unlike Zack Snyder movies, the only times I looked at my watch were when Liu Kang and Scorpion first show up.

Sure the effects are a lot better than the 1995 movie, but the story is as coherent as ANNIHILATION. The performances seem to be sponsored by Valium. Nearly everyone seems to be bored out of their fucking minds while performing. The sole exception is the guy playing Kano. As much as I hated the fact that Johnny Cage wasn't in this movie, after watching it I'm glad he wasn't in it. 

Personally, I'm sticking with Paul Weak Sauce Anderson's PG-13 Mortal Kombat... despite the limitations of the time and rating it's the superior Mortal Kombat movie. Don't waste money at the cinema for this movie. If you already paid for HBO Max then watch it there. If you don't have those options, I wouldn't recommend...

Don't  waste bandwith on it... only watch it if you can do it for free.

So, what is my final veredict?

It's mediocre, mostly bad, but not so bad that it becomes good. It has a couple of good bits, but they aren't enough to cover for the bad... 

The thing that pisses me off is that there was potential for a good MK movie, but it was wasted on Cole Young bullshit.

Action figure woes: That's it, no more Storm Collectibles for me.

 I was taking Raiden out of his Packaging and the sash he wears broke.

I tried gluing it to his torso but the sash fell off and left a black residue on the figure. Looks like I'll have to hit at craft shop and buy some black ribbon. I shouldn't have to since this is an $80 action figure. I know in the grand scheme of things having his sash break is not a huge deal but then again it's an $80 figure. I honestly can't justify spending this amount of money for toys that are going to break easier than a NECA. 

The sad part is that I was getting really excited for this review and as an added bonus: remember that I mentioned that my scorpion figure broke at the clip that held the arm? Well I ordered an incomplete scorpion for spare parts to fix him and I ended up getting a 2020 special edition scorpion in complete but it's the improved version. I was kind of going to do two for one it came from the toy chest but with Rising size breaking well I lost all interest in reviewing Storm Collectibles  figures. I don't think that even Johnny Cage would make me want to get another storm Collectibles figure.

If these were in the same price range as NECA figures I probably would complain a lot less, but these are even more expensive than Super 7!! I kind of wish I had a time machine so I could go back to 2017 and slap 2017 me in the face before he gets the storm Collectibles Ryu figure.

Storm Collectibles revealed Kung Lao...

 And he looks pretty cool, not gonna lie... but, I have the issue of 2 broken ninjas that is gnawing at me as a big deterrent. Hell, I have a Raiden on the ICFTTC queue.

Look at him,  looks badass. Multiple accessories to recreate various game poses,  a decent range of articulation... it's the fragile internals what scares me. I THINK I'm gonna limit myself to MK 1's cast and MAYBE Kitana and Mileena. IF they're in the MK2 attire.

Where are Liu Kang and Johnny Cage?

Kano? Sonya?

But on a positive note, at least it's not another ninja...

Choose your Destiny: Mortal Kombat 2021 trailer thoughts.

 Mortal Kombat reboot of 2021 dropped a trailer.

I DON'T HATE IT... but I don't love it either. Aside Cole Young  (whose name doesn't sound ANYTHING LIKE KUAI LIANG), Kano "being a Good Guy", Mileena being there for some reason, the excessive focus on Scorpion and Sub-Zero, it was decent. Even Supergirl's black Jimmy Olsen playing Steve Harvey playing Jax was decent. I'm mentioning that Supergirl's Jimmy Olsen is black because now in order for being Not racist, you must see color And react differently to people because of it. But back to Mortal Kombat, it was nice to se "fatalities" and gore... what worried me is the massive shit they are taking on the MK lore.

And that seems to always be the main problem with me and most adaptations... adherence to the source material. I get it that making the game straight up would be incredibly boring. At the same time, that doesn't mean you can make weird stuff up like say:

-Ryu and Ken are grifters selling nerf guns to terrorists.

-Iori Yagami and Mai Shiranui are dating, while Terry Bogard is a government agent.

A good example of not following the game to a T but respecting the Lore, Mortal Kombat: You know the good one despite it being PG-13... no, not Annihilation, you doughnut. 

This reboot is taking WAY TOO MANY LIBERTIES with the Lore and that bothers me. Liu Kang is not a supporting character. He's the protagonist. Shang Tsung is not "Emperor of Outworld". He's a herald at best... The only "cool factor" this movie has are the fatalities and even these seem underwhelming due to the realism in the gore on the current games.

Take out the gore and the movie is just as bad as Annihilation.

Mortal Kombat reboot pics were revealed recently...

 And it looks like Mortal Kombat Annihilation but with a better budget. And we all know that MK: Annihilation sucked Motaro dick.

Steve Harvey gets Mechanical Arms in this Mortal Kombat reboot.

Johnny Cage is out and instead we have a washed out MMA fighter who will discover his heritage... kinda sounds like a lesser version of Cage, doesn't it?

We get Mech-arm Steve Harvey, Kabal, Mileena, Nitara, but Not Johnny Cage!? 

This just shows the lack of understanding of the MK lore. Johnny Cage, who is at times "the comedic relief" is the character who bridges the story and the audience. He's not "The Chosen One" or the "Mystic Ninja seeking revenge". He's the "Average Joe", the "everyman" who is tossed in this fate of the universe fighting tournament.

Before anyone mentions Sonya, remember that she's Army Special Forces chasing a terrorist Cyborg. Johnny Cage is the most Normal guy in MK... not counting Stryjer since he came later, or the whole Cage being descended from a race of warriors trained by the gods BS added in the 3D era. By removing Cage,  the people making the movie proved that they don't truly  the ESSENCE OF MORTAL KOMBAT.

No Johnny Cage?

Mortal Kombat 11: The Rant

 I've been playing Mortal Kombat 11 during December and I've mixed feelings about it. While I've had a bit of fun with the DLC folks and MK movie skins (Linden Ashby AS THE MAN, THE LEGEND, JOHNNY CAGE kicks so much ass! Christophe Lambert as Raiden comes in a close second.) The game itself is Underwhelming. The Gameplay is OK... but it feels like a watered down copy of MKX. Then everything else feels half-assed.

The story continues after MKX and Shinnok is dead, now his mom wants revenge and is messing with the timeline to rewrite history. This causes past versions of the kombatants to clash with their future selves. The new big bad is Shinnok's mom who has time controlling powers. Basically a female MK1 Shang Tsung and Frieza hybrid that can summon a dinosaur in battle.

Aside from story mode, you have the towers, which is like Arcade mode, then there's the towers of time, which is like Arcade Mode wirh twists and turns that more oftenthan not work against you. Then there's the super empty Krypt, where you walk around and open RNG chests with the koins, souls, and hearts you kollect in battle... and that's the main issue with the game. You're stuck in an almost endless grind cycle for stuff. Fight battles, earn currency, go to krypt, open chests, lather, rinse, repeat. You have to do 25 fatalities to each NON-DLC character in order to unlock their heads on the krypt, but you need to fight on the towers only... good luck batrling Shao Kahn 25 times when he's a no-show 98% of the time. The grind never ends.

I've already complained about Mortal Kombat losing its irreverent edge and now the Lore, which was what made me into a fan is also losing its edge.

Seriously, we have Linden Ashby AS JOHNNY CAGE but Goro is not playable... what the fuck, Boon!!?

Advent calendar ICFtTC 22: Purple Ninja is a Prince Referencd

 Because  Purple Ninja is called Rain... Purple Rain... Oh Boon, you cheeky bastard. So, Rain is a ninja from Outworld, first appearance was in MK3, so this figure is non-canonical... like the Ermac from the Spawn review.

Rain is an Edenian Demigod whose loyalties are questionable. He quickly switches from Kahn's side to the Eaethrealm side pretty easily. Once he discovers his true heritage he becomes loyal only to himself. 

Articulation 

Literally a Scorpion repaint, means he has the same Sculpt and that means same range of articulation... In theory. Since I haven't touched the previous Storm Collectibles Mortal Kombat Ninjas recently... until Ermac, I can't truly compare the stiffness of articulation between them. (Ermac's photos were in the SD card that suffered the accidental reformatting back in 2019?) Since I can recreate MOST of his in-game poses  (UMK3), he deserves a 

5.0

 

Paint and Sculpt 

As a ninja repaint, Rain looks exactly the same as the previous MK ninjas reviewed... including the bloody effects paintjob. The sculpt and paintjob are great, BUT when this is the 6th or 7th figure sharing the exact same mold and the only real difference is the tunic's color, one can lose some excitement about the figure. Also, it's KINDA HARD to review THE EXACT SAME FIGURE 6 or seven times. I know that in the 2D MK games all ninjas were exactly the same. Son in that way, the figure is kinda accurate.

  4.5

Accessories 

8 hands one is the bubble blast hand.

Alt. Ninja mask

Lightning bolts.

5.0

Overall 

Rain gets a 4.83 as his final score. Or a 5.0 if you ignore my MK Ninja fatigue... That's one of the reasons why I have not reviewed Ermac. 

Wait... I went through a Rain review Without making a Chocolate Rain reference?

There... NOW we can finish this review.