Aug 14, 2023

It came from the Toy Chest: He likes to eat pussy...


 Cats, I am talking about CATS, you pervs! This figure that is coming out the Toy Chest is a Melmacian... not just any Melmacian, but the MOST POPULAR MELMACIAN of all... Gordon Shumway, also known as the Alien Life Form... or A.L.F. for short. One of the few Melmacian survivors after the destruction of their planet, he Crashlanded on Earth and had to be kept hidden by a host family until the Government caught him. Government kept him under wraps until he was about to be executed, but was able to escape that fate. He became a Melmacian Ambassador on Earth and began whoring himself with product placement.
Mike: Holy shit, dude! I haven't seen you since the acid trip inducing anti drug afternoon special!
ALF: Hamato-san!? What a coincidence! I was telling my Melmacian buddies that I knew  one of the Turtles that fought Triceratons near D'Hoonib! Also, we don't talk about that special...
Mike: How's it hanging mr. 10-10-220?
ALF: Are you calling me a sellout, Mr. Coming out of his shell Pizza Hut promo with his videogame?
Mike: Touché.
ALF: Got any Pussy? I need to eat some!
April VO: Mine needs to be eaten!
Mike: Calm your tits, April! He's talking about cats...
April VO (disappointed): I see...


Articulation
ALF sports normal NECA Articulation... remember to get the figure acclimated before opening. His tights required some lubricant specifically the ball joint. I used baby oil, but some people swear on shock oil...
His jaw not only is hinged, but has side to side posability, which gives him tons of personality.
His legs are a bit more limited in posability, but he can manage sitting poses. I mean, he's not an action-oriented character, so fighting poses are not needed.
5.0
Mike: I've got Popcorn, what are you doing with Klunk II?
ALF: So it's a pet cat... darn it! At least his hairs will give the bread a bit of cat flavor as I drink my Fusco Cola: The taste of MY Generation!
Mike: Are you doing an ad right now?
ALF: You know, your friend April kinda looks like a younger Kate... from the folks I used to live with...
Mike: How are the Tanners?
ALF: Well, Willie died. Kate began working for an NPO. Lynn became a Yoga instructor. Brian he joined the Navy and became a certified badass.
Mike: Please tell me you didn't eat Lucky...
ALF: I didn't. I'm, don't tell this to anyone, it's embarrassing... I'm a cat lover. Don't get me wrong... I still like the taste of cat, but All I end up doing is puttong them in my food so they shed some hair on it so I can taste cat without eating them.



Paint and sculpt
NECA did an amazing job with him. They captured the essence of ALF perfectly... but!
-Wait, why is there a but?
-He's too tall for being a 1:10 figure. He's supposed to be under 2'9". BUT the toy is almost the size of a 1:10 Scale TMNT.
OK: Super7 April is in 1:10 scale and is roughly 6.5" which makes her 65 inches or 5'5".
Michelangelo is 5.75" or 57.5" which makes him 4'9.5"
ALF is 5.5" or 55" which is 4'7" he's supposed to be 2'9". This ALF is closer to 1:6 scale than he is 1:10. This ruins MOST of my display plans. It makes his accessories a bit too large for 1:10 figures. Darn! Other than that he's perfect...
4.0 due to bad scale compatibility.
Mike: That's your girlfriend, Rhonda?
ALF: Yeah! Isn't she gorgeous?
Mike: I don't know enough about Melmacian beauty standards to formulate an opinion.
ALF: If I wanted a long-winded explanation, i would've asked Donatello.
Mike: Dude, I'm not sexually attracted to Melmacians.
ALF: Gimme a sec, Yo, Rhonda! It's me, Gordon. Yeah, still on Earth! I got hired by Van Wilder, over!
Rhonda VO: I understood half of it. Over!
Mike: Your name is Gordon!? I thought it was Alfredo or something... Why do they call you ALF?
April: It stands for Alien Life Form. Why is there a bag of Marijuana atop my TV?
Mike: ALF, dude, what's the deel with the wads of chewed marijuana?  Didn't we said that drugs are bad?
ALF: That's not marihuana, those are slimeballs.
April: Ew!
ALF: Could you guys say hi to Rhonda for me?
Mike: Like Hi, Rhonda and Cowabunga! Over. It's me, Michelangelo, the ninja turtle, over.
Rhonda VO: Gordie! Are you really hanging out with the orange one right now!? Over!
April: Um, Hi, Rhonda! I'm April, April O'Neil, and yes, Mikey is the real deal orange Ninja Turtle. Over!
Rhonda: Y-you mean April O'Neil the dimension hopping reporter from Channel 6!? Over!
ALF: Yup! Is Skip around? I want to rub it in on his snout! Claiming he knows a Battletoad...over


Accessories
5 extra hands
Soft goods shirt
Sunglasses
Pussycat sandwich
Slimeballs
Bowl of popcorn
Fusco Cola
CB radio
Picture of Rhonda
He's got a lot of stuff going on:
-Careful with his glasses. They're a bit of a pain to properly put on and they're super fragile. Heard reports about people breaking them while taking them off. I almost broke mine as well.
-The cat is not removable from the plate or the sandwich.
-CB Radio is super fragile, especially the Mic. Some reportsmention that they have broken the mics by trying to have AlF hold it. 
-Rhonda picture frame can break off the stand leg if you're not careful.
4.5 due to the multiple accessories that can break easily.
April: ALF... Are those?
ALF the best taffy candy Ive ever eaten! This one has creme filling!
Mike: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ALF: I-I can't do this, tell Nefty I quit! A coneheads reference, really? What's next have me sing Yub Nub.
Nefty VO: allay luv ta nuv! Allay luv ta nuv!
ALF: Fuck you, Nefty...
Nefty VO: Fuck me? Sweet! I just got insulted by ALF! All I need is Mr.T to pity me to remove one item from the bucket list.




Overall
ALF gets a 4.5 as his final score. The scale issue and the extremely fragile accessories are the things that really hurt the figure. It's a really cool figure but it cannot be displayed with anything else since it's on a scale on its own. The only thing close to scale for this out would be Barbie dolls, and after Twilight I haven't touched any other Barbie.

No comments:

Post a Comment