Nov 23, 2021

Masters of the Universe Revelation pt2: Did Scott Neitlich work on the story?

 Yikes doesn't begin to cut it. Part 2 was a mess. Hulk, LOTR, crude remarks based on immature humor like mine. This part was far worse than part one... I didn't love Part One, nor hated it, but part 2 made me "a hater".
Actual line of the show...
There is also another one of Skeletor wanting to chop off Duncan's MAN-AT-ARMS... the MAN-AT-ARMS being his penis.
Yes, that's Evil-Lyn dryhumping Skeletor. Skeletor fucks...

The Power of Boners is stronger than Skeletor's desire to master the Power of Grayskull 


The Andra rumor was false... but she ends up as the new MAN-AT-ARMS, mostly because Teela became Sorceress.

The No He-Man until the final episode is technically true. We do get Adam for the most part... Eps 6, 8, 9, 10. Hulk is on eps. 6 and 7. Proper He-Man is on Episode 10. So we only get He-Man in 2 Episodes out of 10.

Thank Goodness for Liam Cunningham, Susan Eisenberg, and Lena Heady... they have to carry Sarah Michelle Gellar in all the emotional scenes. Yes, Buffy is still the worst thing about Revelation castwise...

Did anyone even bother to tell Mark Hamill that he was playing Skeletor and not The Joker? I don't mean his voice. I mean his characterization. There was no difference between his Skeletor and Arkham Knight Joker in characterization.

What kind of Gandalf Bullshit is this!?
Also, Orko dying is confirmed.

What's with all these Pop Culture references. I kinda understand ripping off Gandalf but I wouldn't have made it that obvious by making Orko White.  But the cringiest line was by Alicia Silverstone.
How CLUELESS do you have to be to have a Queen behave like a 15 year old Valley Girl?

How do you make out with someone without lips? REVELATION answers that. We get a dryhumping makeout session between Evil-Lyn and Skeletor. You saw the dryhumping already, but the making out with a skull thing is GIF worthy.

Want to know what's worse than a Skelegod?
A He-Vil-Lyn
The cringe... is so hard... How can we up the Cringe?
Skeletor pulling off a Joker?
Nah, that's not cringy enough... I need something far more Cringier... like Sharing the Power of Grayskull type of Bullshit:
New and "improved" half-width Vegan Crybaby Kevin Smith: Say no more...

Not only He-Man shares the power with Skeletor of all people, He-Vil-Lyn turns Beastman into a Battlecat type of steed, who I call Battle Bitch, because from Apeman he turns into a dog and gets his ass beaten by the much smaller Battle Cat. But the sharing keeps going on with a Buffy Reference. Remember how Buffy "shared the power" of the Vampire Slayer?

Well, she does something similar and shares the power of the Sorceress with Eternia in order to not be bound to the Castle. She has a DBZ type of fight with He-Vil-Lyn and then talks her out of being Evil-Lyn in order for her to become Good-Lyn.

Evil-Lyn, who killed all the souls in Heaven by destroying Heaven; thus eliminating half of the Eternian Afterlife, Helll was left intact; ends up in Trolla... No punishment for her evil deeds, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?

I wish I could say it wasn't a total trainwreck, but this mini series suffers from the same issues Neitlich had: 
-Bad pacing with meandering plot points that led nowhere and a rush to attempt tie loose ends when they ran out of episodes.
-Killing characters for the sake of being edgy.
-Blatantly ripping off other media with enough non-subtlety that even Hideo Kojima has to say:
"BRUH!" 
-CRINGE DIALOGUE!!

Did I mention that Clamp Champ and Fisto show for a minute in order to be zombified, killed, and have their souls destroyed by Skeletor?

Sure, using Blade, Pigboy, and Goatman was cool, but the bad outweighs the good.

So how can I review this?
It's hard because I LOVE the property. I UNDERSTAND why some choices were made, despite disagreeing with them.

MYP
CGI Netflix
FILMATION (He-Man and She-Ra)
NEW ADVENTURES
Revelation 
Netflix She-Ra 

Yes, I rated the CGI series higher than Filmation, because despite me liking filmation a bit more comes from the fact that CGI He-Man not following Traditional MOTU canon and having a cringy song, it's a well made show that respects MOTU despite going in a different direction. New adventures is rated higher than revelation for a similar reason. While yes, New Adventures has some cringy lines in "current year" they are pretty normal in a late 80s-early 90s context. 
But despite of Revelation taking massive shits on MOTU continuity, it's far more respectful to the source material than Netflix She-Ra. The writing is just as bad, but it's obvious that more people working on Revelation had knowledge of MOTU lore than the people working on fake She-Ra.

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