Nov 5, 2021

It came from the toy chest: Masked Cryborg

 I got a ZSJL Cryborg figure as a present. I uploaded the moc pic, but Google ate it and I can't find it. In fact it even deleted the v.1.0 of this rant, where I made a joke about Fisher whining once again.

Batman: I'd like you to meet Cyborg...
Superman: Wait a minute Bruce. We can't have any handicapped person with a prosthesis join the League...
Diana: The two members without superpower are footing the bill, Kal-El... besides I can vouch for him, he's family...
Superman: OK if you insist...
Batman: Whoa! Wait a minute! I never said anything about him joining the League! I was introducing him to you two!
Cryborg: *weeps*

So, Cryborg is basically Cyborg but with Ray Fisher. I'm blessed and cursed for getting the Walmart masked version, because I don't have to see Fisher and be tempted to give him tears. Also, It sucks that I don't have a close to iconinc Realistic looking Cyborg.

Superman: Hi, I'm Superman...
Cryborg: BUFFY MAN BAD!!
Diana: Yes, Buffy Man Bad, Vic... but how are you?
Cryborg: WB MAN BAD!!! DC COMICS MAN BAD!!!
Batman: Dick, I got him!


Vic Stone, Footballer, suffered an accident that forced his father to rebuild him as a cybernetic organism. Fisher's performance goes full emo and hates Vic's humanity, because no one can be happy in the Snyderverse.

Articulation
We're back to the 90s with him. Single joint knees and elbows. But we're also in the 2000s with the butterfly shoulders and balljoints on some areas.
3.5
Batman: I recruited Cyborg to the Teen Titans
so you can stop saying that the Titans is just a team of Bat-sidekicks...
Nightwing: Hi, Cy! I'm Nightwing, this is Batgirl, and this is Robin. He will show you the ropes.
Robin: Ah, I have a manservant now... wait, isn't he black? It's current year and me having a black manservant is a teensy weensy racist.
Batgirl: I guess you're oit of luck Damian, no hazing the rookie this time...
Cyborg: This Demon Robin is making BUFFY MAN LOOK GOOD!
Robin: I want to make clear that my hazing of Cyborg is not racially motivated, I am not a racist! I'm just affluent entitlement made flesh...
Superman: Great Scott! Cyborg can't be Robin's slave!! Quick, Batman! Slap him!
Batman: Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother hanging with you morons...
Diana: Because you keep us in check...


Paint and sculpt
The sculpt is full of detail, which is expected on both sides (Hack Snydurr and Todd's) the paintwork is minimal, but effective. He's literally dark silver and a streak of puked fruit punch on his chest.
5.0
Damian: Alright, Cryborg, for your first order,
Say: Booyah!
Cryborg: NO! I SHALL NEVER DEGRADE MYSELF AND SAY SUCH THING!
Nightwing: Dude, you ain't gonna win...
Cryborg: I'll blow his bird brains out!! I'll do it!!
Batgirl: Great idea, genius... use your internet brain and Google League of Assassins... Damian's grandpa is the big boss there...
Damian: You wanna get nuts! Come on! Let's get nuts!!


Accessories
Useless card
Stand
Handcannon
Damian: Come on! Say it!!
Cryborg: *crying* BOOYAH!! *crying*
Nightwing: Five seconds... it took Damian five seconds to make Cyborg cry for mercy...
Batgirl: At least we don't have to see him cry thanks to his facemask...
Damian: Now do it without crying...
Cyborg: *crying even louder* Boo-yah... *ridiculously loud crying*


He👏should👏have👏gotten👏a👏second👏Ray👏Fisher👏head👏
1.0

Overall
Before anyone tries to claim racism for the lower score, bad articulation and lack of accessories make this figure suck... also, he got a 3.17 as his final score. But gift horse and all that, so I won't complain much.
Picture of Ray Fisher managing his career circa 2021.


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