Top 10 Musical artists/groups that I'd like to see in Ultimates!

 That aren't this guy;

This list is 100% Vanilla Ice free... aside this reference.

I know that last week I made a random list that included some music people. It was THAT rant that made me make this one. But it's 10 Musical acts that aren't Vanilla Ice. I will also NOT include Weird Al, Fresh Cuck, Steven Seagal, or Jackie Chan.

See? Seagal is a Musical act.

And Jackie Chan will make a Cantonese Man out of me.

10: Eminem: My Name Is/ The Real Slim Shady

My Name is: The song that started it all. There are various outfits to choose from. Naked Slim Shady with flasher coat is unlikely. That leaves the TV shades, which I honestly don't care about. So we have Jumpsuit Shady, Straight jacket Shady, or bench Shady. Personally, I would go for the straight jacket version.

The Real Slim Shady, the sequel no one expected, but it exists. It also has Eminem in various outfits.

Hospital gown Shady, Tom Green Parody Shady, or T-shirt and Jeans Shady.

Most folks would want the Most Vanilla Eminem. But I'd go for the Straight Jacket from My Name is, Tom Green Shady, and Vanilla Eminem from The Real Slim Shady. Though the third one I'd just get the Deluxe figure.

9: Snoop Dogg:

Any Snoop Dogg figure will do. But he needs Weed Paraphernalia, because Snoop Dogg.

One of these is a convicted criminal. The other is Snoop Dogg. Not gonna Lie, I would like a Martha Stewart Ultimates to pair off with Snoop Dogg! Fo' shizzle!

8: Sir Mix-a-Lot:

I don't even need to say the song. You know what song I'm talking about. Random fruit shown on the video would be his accessories.

Heads would be:  with hat, without hats, removable glasses.

7: MC Hammer: U can't Touch this

While one could argue that he's a TMNT reference. But 

Pants wouldnhave to be Soft goods to preserve articulation, because plastic pants would make a "statue" from the waist down.

6: Insane Clown Posse: Miracles

Actually, these don't need to be Ultimates.These could easily work as Deluxe releases. Also, I'm not saying it, so I can't get another Violent J and repaint it as Guy Fieri... or the guy from Smashmouth.

Now that I finished the Rappers, we're entering Nefty's wants and it's gonna get a little weird, it's gonna get a little wild... Star vs the forces of evil reference not intended.

5: Dolly Parton:

I just want a Dolly Parton Figure because Dolly Parton.

While I could go for classic Dolly, I want this Dolly... and that Miley as well. But my display requires a Modern Dolly and Miley. Soft good outfit for articulation reasons.

4: Miley Cyrus:

Dolly got the cat out of the bag. So might as well mention her now. But this is better than asking for a Hannah Era Miley, or the Out of Control era Miley. So 30 year old Miley it is.
Like with Dolly, soft goods outfit for articulation reasons.

3: Billy Ray Cyrus:

Remember the Billy Ray dressed up like an Extra for Red Dead Redemption? Or the pink clad Cowboy from Old Town Road with Lil' Nas X.  Yes, I wasn't bending to give Mr.Cyrus a revolver and make Ocelot references. 

All jokes aside. I'm a bit worried about his health, both physical and mental.

His performance at Trump's iinaugurationwas awful as he sounded sick and didn't look well on stage. 

2: Britney Spears: 

My loneliness is killing me and I must confess. I still believe still believe! When I'm not with you. I lose my mind, give me a sign. Yes, I'm singing Baby one more time.

I wanted to go with It's Britney, bitch! Buuuuut! Part of me also wanted Umbrella wielding Bald Britney in a Street Fighter Bonus stage. But if Teen Britney makes people uncomfortable, we could always go Toxic.

Everyone will say Flight Attendant Britney, Redheaded Black Widow Britney, or the Black haired Mutant Britney

Me? The "Gozer-esque" outfit Britney. No, Cade, not because she's wearing the least amount of clothing, but it's the closest to Vanilla looking Britney. Also, Flight Attendant Brotney makes me too uncomfortable.

1: Jennifer Love Hewitt:

What? SHE HAD A MUSIC VIDEO and her song was part of the I Still Know What You Did Last Summer soundtrack.

Honorable Mentions:

Lance Bass of N*Sync;

I won't add the entire group, so I chose my favorite member. Why Not Justin?

Justin isn't Sephiroth... Lance Bass is.

Tom Green:

The infamous Bum Bum song that even Eminem mocked. It was.

 Either the bum bum song or feel your balls so you don't get cancer...

Christina Aguilera:

Yes, Genie in a Bottle was the song I thought of. Hell I think that's the only Christina Aguilera song I know.

Zac Efron:

HSM2 is the reason why he's here.

I was tempted to pick Ashley Tisdale with Fabulous.

Aubrey Peeples: The Way I Was:

I hated the Jem movie, BUT this song was the closest thing to a Jem "video".

Sisqo:

I needs a plastic thong thong thong thong thong! And having Sisqo cartwheeling for it seems fun.

Dee Snider:

Take the ReAction, make it an Ultimates! 

That's how we're gonna take it. Yes, we're gonna take it!

Danzig:

Super7 made a pseudo MOTU Glenn Danzig... Make an Ultimates! 

Mariah Carey:

I don't NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS.

Madonna: Like a Prayer

No, this has nothing to do with Deadpool and Wolverine 

It's the fucking Black Jesus and Stigmata, right?

Pretty much. Don't forget the burning crosses.

The clan hates people like you... Hispanic and Catholic.

I'm pointing out the controversial parts of the video. I do not associate with Klansmen for the reasons you stated and let's lea e it at that otherwise I'll ramble about genes and how I refuse to pass mine on. Wait, NOW you show up, Cade? I thought you'd show up by Miley or almost naked Britney.

Steven Seagal Ultimates

 Think about it: Yes, I know товарищ Сигал is a massive douche canoe. With that said, he's still an 80s icon and one of my idols. I think he's a perfect candidate for Super7 Ultimates:

Whether you love him or you hate him... I know most folks are on the second column, you can't deny that he's right there with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, and Chuck Norris. So, I picked a few possible Seagal looks for an Ultimates Seagal line:

First we got the one I'll dub as "The Original":

This is Seagal's first movie, Above the Law. I know some company released a figure of Seagal based on this specific pose, but that's more like a statue. I want a Seagal with 90s Articulation. I just find this look slightly more Iconic than the Hard to Kill Seagal... though a "Pool Shark" Seagal from Hard to Kill would be cool. Billiards ball on a towel and billiards stick accessories come to mins. 

The second one I'll dub as "The Environmentalist":

This is based on the movie On Deadly Ground. Which has Seagal with a Native American styled jacket and using tons of military weapons. This is still before the decline of Seagal's career.

Now the following theoretical figures follow Seagal after "he fell from grace" and he became the Big Chungus version of himself. Before anyone claims I'm fat shaming Seagal, I am not, since I've been using Big Chungus Seagal as an alternate costume for those "not yet Halloween but it's October and it's a costume party" for years. Mainly because I have a similar body type and it's a put on a ponytailed wig, glasses and a jacket for an instant costume kind of thing.

This one I dub "The Deputy":

It's from the time he was a Lawman. 

For accessories he would get the standard policeman gear.

This one is The Vampire Hunter:

And he's obviously Against The Dark. A shotgun and a katana would be his main accessories.

This last one I dub as The Man:

Since it's based on Seagal himself and not a movie character. Or I should say as how Seagal perceives himself: A man of peace, but able to kick ass if needed.
Translation:

Giving him a hand with prayer beads sculpted on it to calm himself and giving him a hand with the credit card blade from the Glimmer Man sculpted on it to pay using plastic... Not to mention a handgun, a rifle, a katana, the billiards stick and the billiards ball in a towel... basically an amalgamation of Seagal's most iconic weapons. Also, he needs his guitar. I'd have 3 heads: Bearded, clean shaven, and a singing head (glasses, with durag and removable hat.)

The one Seagal I wouldn't have is "The spiritualist":

He wouldn't cone with accessories other than hands and what the hell I'm talking about? I would LOVE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THIS FIGURE!!

He'd be the "Shen Long" of the Neftyverse.
Say what you will about товарищ Сигал, but he'd kick so much ass as an actual action figure... but there is another Seagal variant... The Comrade...

I know what you're thinking: 

Nefty, there's no way that you're going to suggest Seagal in the traditional Russian hat and a big bulky jacket because Russia is cold. That would be stereotypical and racist.

It would be, if it wasn't for Steven Seagal himself making a Russian ad where he's wearing stereotypical clothing.

Владимир Путин - мой лучший друг на всем белом свете

And now I know why this will never happen... his friendship with Putin when the world's stance is against Putin...

Putin will use a new friend to persuade America bout Russia being nice.

Really, товарищ Сигал? Couldn't Russia get someone, I don't know, ACTUALLY RELEVANT... No, seriously, name something relevant that Steven Seagal has done in the past 5 years? Aside the rumors of a Sequel to Above the Law. Or being accused of being a sexual harassing creep... or becoming Putin's sidekick...

Do kids these days know who Steven Seagal is? Putin wants Seagal, alleged sexual harasser, has been movie star whose movies head straight to the bargain bin to be the man who will "facilitate relations between Russia and the United States in the humanitarian field, including cooperation in culture, arts, public and youth exchanges."

In what way, shape or form is Seagal relevant to today's youth?

It's to people in their thirties and they are desperately trying to forget Seagal. Also, why hasn't US done this to Rodman and North Korea?

Похоже, президент Донни больше не является фаворитом Путина

Ooo mai Goddo I think I may have found the way to make a sequel/reboot to Bad Dudes...
Presidents Donny and Vladdy have been kidnappes by ex Spetsnaz terrorists? Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the Presidents?

Odds and ends Nov. 5 2017. Hobbitses and things.

You like Lord of the Rings? Well WB and Amazon are going to make a Lord of the Ring$ TV series. Beating a dead horse, milking a cashcow dry...


I hate Nintendo so much right now. Got an eShop card to buy the Ace Attorney Trilogy but I can't use the WiFi at work, both of them. I can't use the WiFi at BK, McD, Wendy's, or the mall. I HAVE TO WAIT until Power is restored and I can use my internet connection AT HOME to buy the game. It won't even let me use my phone's hotspot mode. Gosh darn it!

Oh.No. Steven Seagal is now being accused of being a sexual harasser. Which, I'm like "Dude, I thought everyone already knew that."
Никто не обвиняет товарища Сигала

No, really, how is it that people still don't know that Comrade Seagal is a bit of a creep (whose movies I enjoy)

Llooks like the Fast/Furious execs chose The Rock over Tyrese in the theoretical scenario that the latter had set up. Now Tyrese is The Rock's new bestie after his stunt backfired. Eh, it was expected.

Steven Seagal might bring us great news.

Steven Seagal, the man who is Hard To Kill, On Deadly Ground, Under Siege, In The Belly Of The Beast, Against the Dark, Half Past Dead,  Out for Justice, Marked for Death, and The Glimmer Man... who also happens to be a real cop.


Well, he's making a sequel... I found out by Accident...

so here's the story on how I found out about this. There's a Halloween Party coming up and I decided to go as Steven Seagal... Seeing that I'm fat, like Seagal, I thought: A Ponytailed wig, a black Durag and not shave my goatee and I kinda have a late 00s early 10s Seagal look, but I need to go further. Dress up like an Iconic Seagal look and act as if I was trying to pitch a sequel to an 80s movie...
Seeing that I already own a Nico Toscani figure, I thought: Blue Jeans and a Black Leather (or PVC) Jacket and I could pull off a Steven Seagal trying to push for an Above the Law Sequel. Well, while looking for Seagal pics in order to find an appropriate wig, I stumbled upon this:
Above the Law 2 is happening. Somehow Steven Seagal got the Rights to Above the Law and is making a sequel... OH HOLY CRAP!!

Now let's be honest here... We can't expect this movie to be the most fantastic thing ever for a few reasons:

Steven Seagal is 27-ish years older than he was back in the day... He's also gained some weight... Sure he can still do fight scenes, but compare a RECENT Seagal Movie to an 80s-early 90s Seagal movie.




Also, Seagal's latest movies have been Straight to DVD stuff that even Canon Films would have been embarrassed to release. Note: I LOVE Seagal Movies, but nothing compares to 80s-early 90s Seagal.

Happy Birthday Toot/Clara/Timmy/Young Ben/X-23/Dil Pickles!

Obviously I'm wishing Tara Strong a super fantastic Birthday before Twilight gets changed...
So, Happy Birthday TS!! Also thanks for all the voices! /)^3^(\

There's some other folks who I want to thank and wish a Happy Birthday... cause their work has entertained me and stuff...

Christina Ricci, (Obviously for Addams Family... The First one cause the second one was blegh, Speed Racer too!)

Scott Menville, for his role as Young Albedo on Xenosaga, Robin on Teen Titans... wait! Robin and Raven share a Birthday!? Wait! He's also a Russian soldier from Snake Eater AND a Genome Soldier... Tara Strong was Paz and the twins from Portable Ops... Mind blown! Screw him being Ma-Ti... He was in the Original My Little Pony!! and who's a My Little Pony now? Brain exploding!

I'll back away from the Birthdays and move to other stuff!

The Doctor is in! Well,Matt Smith is going to be on Ryan Gossling's How to Catch a Monster... Mr. Gossling is going to direct and write... just flip the order of those... This will be interesting since I'm used to seeing Mr. Smith as The Doctor... Then again it was a bit odd for me to look at David Tennant in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, cause all I could see was The Doctor... Luckily I hadn't seen Doctor Who before Christopher Eccleston before the Rise of Cobra... but it made his tenure as the Doctor a bit weird for me cause all I could see was Destro! Now whenever I watch Doctor Who all I can think of is Ponies...

Retaliation better not suck...

The whole delaying it is getting to me...

Canning Tatum better not go comatose on this...


Arizona is going to be super safe now... Joe Arpaio, "America's toughest Sheriff" teams up with a "deity" to train the Arizona Posse of School Defenders...

Obviously, people criticize, HIS inclusion, aside the usual anti-Arpaio stuff. Some people forget that he's a real martial artist... sure, with an Ego the size of Asia, but still an expert. I'm not condoning or attacking the idea... I'm not a fan of posses in general, cause it reminds me of the Wild West... I suppose this is mostly a Hyper Publicized thing to scare off possible criminals to not go shooting into schools or something.

Sesame Street!? Cool!

Sesame Street is one of the longest IF not THE longest Children's television program. Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Oscar the Grouch, Grover... Huh? They don't ring a bell? F#$%^ing Elmo... Oh! Now you know what I'm talking about...
I'm not gonna rant about how much I hate Elmo (even if it IS Master Splinter the one who voices and controls that evil Satanic action hogger jabroni that talks in third person...)

Normally people stop watching Sesame Street because they're "Too old" for it... I was in that crowd until I saw This:

Yes, they're making a parody of:


Not only that but they also made a parody of True Blood...


Speaking of Sesame Street: Katy Perry sang a clean version of Hot n' cold, but it was never aired because she was showing too much cleavage.

Yeah, like the little kids are going to notice Katy Perry's boobs... Those are the same kids that are fans of Isaiah Mustafa and True Blood. I mean Katy Perry is less offensive than say, Jack Black...

Jack Black: More Kid Friendly than Katy Perry. True Blood: More Kid Friendly than Katy Perry. What is going on here!? I swear if Sesame Street brings Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal I would die by sheer awesomeness and WTFness...




Ok... WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS!? They're the best of the best and I lvoe them!

It came from the Toy Chest...

This is It came from the Toy Chest, The official name for all the Toy reviews from now on. (No not all of them will be done in Comic Book style. Since this is the Very First ICFTTC I got some special guests to do the review for me.) You might need to click on the pics to read their comments.




Notice The Anime influence On He-Man's cut. One movement and a billion slashes appear.





Originally This was meant to be a Singing Hannah Montana review, but my assistant accidentaly deleted the pictures. Yes the Hannah DOES Sing and has two Hannah/Miley Phrases...
Now For a likeness test between the toys and the Actresses that the toys are supposed to look like.

I don't see it... Maybe if I get drunk and squint my eyes a Little bit I COULD see the Miley Cyrus in that Hannah doll... The Emily Osment is a little bit easier to notice on Lola but not that much...

Dec. 2009: Odds and Ends

There is a bunch of stuff that I wanna ramble about, but it's too short to write a full Article. Now with the Odds and Ends I can bunch up little stuff into one big rant.

Some of you have pointed out that my long Twilight rant was missing something: The whole Midnight Sun mess... Well since I DID promise to talk about it here it is:
Midnight Sun mess in a nutshell: Twilight (The First Book) Re-Hashed as a new book. The only difference Is that we would be reading Mr. Sparkly's point of view... (I don't know but I'd rather know what the Hell was Edward doing during New Moon than reading through Twilight again...) In theory it sounds cool. Unfortunately (or Fortunatley) someone leaked parts of one of the SMeyer Midnight Sun manuscripts. This caused Stephenie Meyer to throw a hissy fit and can the project. She was so angry taht she was going to kill the Cullens in the first book, thus creating a parallel world in which The other three books never happened and wasting the readers' time and money... and there is someone to blame... FAIRY GODPARENTS!!

Steven Seagal: Lawman... Still sucks! The show definetely is an Ego-Self-Pleasuring-Device for Steven Seagal. As a matter of fact the show is starting to make me DISLIKE Steven Seagal...

Christmas Specials... I HEART CHRISTMAS!! Christmas Specials on the other hand, not so much. I know that it's the season to be Jolly and all that, but sometimes TV shows and movies take it too far. Especially if they can spawn this:

Wait... Are you watching the same thing as I am? Is this TMNT or Cool Runnings?
On the Other hand they also gave us this...


Now THAT is awesome...

Now enjoy Christmas... If you don't celebrate it, then enjoy whatever you DO celebrate...

He might not be Above the Law but he IS Out for Justice

See what I did there? I made reference to two Steven Seagal movies... So you've already guessed that I'm gonna randt about Steven Seagal: Lawman. I love Steven Seagal movies. He's so badass even if the movies are pretty much predictable. Some might say that they're my guilty pleasure. So, I decided to watch SS:LM and what I found was NOT:


Instead I got THIS:

It kinda looks like a set from one of those Post-Executive Decision Seagal Movies. The low budget Deirect to DVD movies that Seagal has becomed accustomed to appear in these last few years. Well it isn't. THAT IS STEVEN SEAGAL IN HIS POLICEMAN UNIFORM FIGHTING CRIME!!


Here's the preview of the show... It kinda looks like COPS with Steven Seagal in it.


Cops is an awesome show, Out for Justice is an awesome movie. Steven Seagal: Lawman should be like the Reese's Peanut Butter cups (a perfect marriage of Peanut Butter and Chocolate...) of Police shows. Unfortunately, the show is 5/6 stroking Steven Seagal's massively bloated ego. Every chance Seagal gets, he rants about his Martial Arts prowess and how that has helped him to be a super cop these last 20 years. At the shooting range he boasts about his MA mad skillz that make him a super marksman, while trying to help a fellow officer of the law to improve his aim... The funniest part is how the other cops are always shocked that people want STEVEN SEAGAL'S autograph. They are able to forget that Steven Seagal is a Martial Arts practicioner/Movie star...
Oh please! It's STEVEN SEAGAL!! They are always showing some Seagal Movie on USA, TNT, TBS,or Spike almost every weekend. If Seagal has been a cop for 20 years, wouldn't his comrades notice his absences for WEEKS while making movies? Seagal keeps churning Direct to DVD movies AND going out on the street stopping crime. HIS FELLOW OFFICERS FORGET THAT HE'S A MOVIE STAR? Unless they spend all of their free time watching chick flicks or Hannah Montana... (I had to sneak her in somehow... Besides making a Hannah Reference is better than talking about Mr. Sparkly...) Do these cops not notice the Camera crew going AFTER Steven Seagal?

I haven't seen that much ego stroking since...



Chuck Norris...

Can we say big ego...
Maybe it was just a first episode thing. I'll see a couple more and if this Seagal Ego self pleasuring thing keeps going on, I'll stop watching...