Apr 13, 2023

It came from the toy chest: They were isekai'd before iselaid were cool


I am referring to the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon. I got Hank the Ranger and Diana the Acrobat on clearance. They had Bobby, but I only had spare cash to buy 2 out of 3... priorities and stuff. The cartoon gang has a cameo on the new movie. Seeing that they were on clearance was the reason I got them. I was afraid of getting them due to QC Horror stories and price point is a smidge too much for their size and accessory count.

Before I start, I must issue a warning:
These figures have a lot of quality control issues and there have been plenty of reports about the joints breaking especially on Hank the Ranger. Even Pixel Dan has been a victim of Hank breaking. Most Hanks break at the wrist or elbows. Diana also feels super fragile with her elbow and wrist joints.
Hank: He has excellent neck articulation. But his arm articulation is so horrible that he can't properly hold the energy bow to properly pose him like he's about to let an arrow fly. Even in the box pic showcasing the figure, Hasbro can't get him in a good pose. 
Diana: She fares a bit better than Hank. Her articulation is identical to a Female Marvel Legends figure... without double jointed elbows.

Paint and sculpt:
Here is where everything goes to shit... at least with Hank. There's something OFF about his face. From some angles it looks good, but from others it looks weird. Like he's got a mouthguard shaped like a mouth and teeth... He looks a lot younger than 15. Other than that he's OK.
Hank: Sheila!? Bobby!? Are you OK!?
Diana: Hank! More wraiths are coming, we need to fend them off before looking for the others...
*panicked Uni noises*
Hank: Presto, Eric! Hang on! We're coming!
*Approaching wraith sounds*
Hank: Ready Diana?
Diana: Let's kick some ghostly ass!
Hank: We're coming guys!
Presto VO: We can talk about this later, look out!
Sheila VO: Bobby, watch out!
Bobby VO: Uni! Come back!
*panicked Uni noises*

Diana fares a bit better here. She doesn't look 14. But it seems that the characters look younger than their cartoon versions, except Bobby, who looks older. Now, her likeness is a bit better though. 

Hank gets 2 versions of his bow. With and without energy arrows. Hasbro cut some corners here and for the energy Arrow gave us an unpainted translucent yellow Bow. Meanwhile the empty bow is solid yellow. Also a d8 die

Diana fares a bit worse here since her staff is solid colored and she has a solid colored staff with twirling after effects. It's a nice idea but the execution is disappointing. Also a d20 die.

Hank gets a disappointing 3.67 as his final score. I'll  throw a D20 to see if I can get over 16. If I do get over 16, then I'll throw a d8 to give him a little boost. If it's under 16 his score remains. 
I gues this could be considered a saving throw?

Score boost wasn't great for Hank.

Based on the dicerolls, hank gets a .10 boost so his new score is 3.77 which is not a huge boost, but them dice don't lie. Hasbro cutting , awkward choices in sculpt, and having articulation issues really brought down this figure.

Diana gets a 3.83 as her final score. It's better than Hank's but let's see if she gets a dice bonus. 
I'm trying to give the dice some importance...
I haven't played D&D since the first half of the 90s... I miss those days.

Since she got a 15, which us under 16, her score remains unchanged. The best thing about these figures is that their size gives me hope for Marvel Legends power pack. Diana's size would be perfect for Julie. I hope I can go back next Friday and get a discounted Bobby. I can see myself getting Sheila and Eric... and later Presto... sadly Venger is out of my reach because he's a Target exclusive. They also scale rather well with Masterverse figures...
Hank: That's how we got split up. A bunch of wraiths led by a blue skinned licth and a Brutish Apeman attacked us. There were some mechanically enhanced men with them. They took our friends!
He-Man: By the Goddess, Teela, these children have seen Hells beyond Hells and they still keep fighting to locate their friends. Seems that Skeletor took them.
Teela: Mmmm... I haven't seen such a nice and tight Nubian Nubile body since Andra...
Diana: I need an adult...
Teela (seductively): I am an adult.
He-Man: For Zoar's sake, Teela! Stop preying on the child and focus...
Teela: This is why men are bad and we should stick together... maybe we should take a nice soothing bath together...
Hank: Uhhh... Friends in danger, they need help? One of them is a cute redhead and she...
Teela: Why didn't you say so? Is she cute? Ebony and Ivory Love together in perfect harmony...
Diana: Those aren't the lyrics...
Teela: I know what I sang... can't wait for that reversed Oreo.
He-Man: Zoardammit, Nefty... 
Hank: Mr. He-Man, sir... Do you know where this Skeletor guy is?
He-Man: Snake Mountain, a very perilous place where even the most brave and pure hearted warriors are corrupted by madness and evil, but fear not young Hank. As the champion of Grayskull and most powerful man in the universe, I swear that I will aid you and young Miss Diana to save your friends! Come, Battle Cat! We ride to Snake Mountain!

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