Apr 11, 2023

I wouldn't want a Legend of Zelda movie

 Despite Mario being a successful movie, a Legend of Zelda movie would be bad for one single reason: Scope.

Even the most bare bones Legend of Zelda story has a much bigger scope than Mario's. You can't condense A Legend of Zelda Story in 90 minutes, but as an animated mini series? Now there we have a LOT of potential. 
Personally, I'd rather have a new story with elements from Multiple games than a straight up adaptation of the games... I know I might get a lot of Flak from the following statement, but the DiC LoZ series should be considered as a source as well. Before you grab those pitchforks, hear me out:

-It had a non-damsel Zelda that could fight with Link by her side.
-Link was more than a silent protagonist... with the proper script and direction we could have a Link that has far much better lines than "Hah!" "Hyah!" and "Oh?" 
-it had some decent takes on classic Zelda themes that should make a comeback. (Shuki Levy, I believe, was the composer for the series.)
-Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me Princess!

Last one was a joke, but we need to sneak the like somewhere. Also the infamous CD-I: I could eat an octorock line too.

I'm going to suggest 2 people... 3 people to have small roles in this new theoretical series:

Jonathan Potts as the king of Hyrule: Yes, that's Mr. "Well Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me Princess!"

Cynthia Perston as Impa: Yes, this is the Zelda that needed to Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse Link.

Tabitha St. Germain as the Fairy Queen: I swear, this isn't a My Little Pony reference, but she played Spryte, Link's fairy companion... she was Navi before Navi was a thing. Also, the DiC Zelda was the first instance of Shield surfing in Zelda.

Again, these are smaller roles as a thank you for being among the first folks that gave life to The Legend of Zelda, outside of the NES Games. The more important roles should be given to different actors. Personally, since it's a series and not a movie, we could get specialized Voice Actors instead of random Hollywood celebrities reading their parts. 

I'd say 13 episodes 35-40 minutes long should be sufficient to tell a LoZ tale. I'd say 4 dungeons, about an episode for the last 3 dungeons, with a couple of episodes for exploring the world and getting lore. Maybe even an episode in which Link is incapacitated and Zelda has to do some heavy fighting. The idea is to have the last 3 episodes dedicated to Ganon and the aftermath of the battle. 

Items that I'd like to see would be:
Hookshot, Warp Whistle, Power Bracelet, Magic Rod, Pegasus Boots, Cane of Somaria, among others. The items would ve split up between Link and Zelda.

That's not counting things like The Master Sword,  the Bow of Light, bombs, boomerangs, arrows, and other common items. (Deku stuff, rupees, chu-jellies, etc.) 

For bosses, I'd personally stick to 2D era bosses, specifically those who haven't been graced with a 3D counterpart. 

And keep the Tingle to a minimum... unless he's voiced by Gilbert Gottfried... or Chris Tucker... shit, forgot that Gilbert is dead.

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