Nov 25, 2009

That's a lot of Bull... Semen?

Holy Bull chowder, Batman! Someone stole 1,300 tubes of prized bull semen.
1.5 million Yen of Bull semen lost. (Probably 15,000 dollars in calf batter)

That's not the screwed up part of the news. No, the tubes haven't been used in Japanese porn... I hope. the screwed up part is the part where the guy who was in charge of this prized possession killed himself. Probably some vestige of Samurai honor and not allowing themselves to screw up, or the guy was neck deep in bull... you get the idea. It's kinda tough keeping this article PG when it involves boatloads of Bull chowder. Can't put any videos to make jokes about it since most of them wouldn't be in YouTube. Most pictures related to the article would cause my account here to get banned. What can I do? Let's play Cluedo: Bull Semen Theft Edition.
The suspects:

Chris Pontius: We know he's consumed Horse semen before. What's stopping him from tasting Frozen Bull.

A horny cow desperate to have a calf... Sounds crazy, but Japan is the land of crazy... Just look at their gameshows.

Your average porn movie director... His vision requiered huge amounts of this prized fluid. Maybe there was a shark involved, or a bull... I don't know! Now that porn movies are getting more "artsy" and trying to appeal to a public that wants more than people doing it. Probably it involves Asuka Langley and the Angel attack on the End of Evangelion OVA. (Cause Japan loves EVA) Maybe it's for the live action re-enactment of Shinji's visit to Asuka in the hospital after:

Or this guy... I knew that Oozinator refills were expensive, but I never thought they'd be THAT expensive.

It's sad that we have lost a caretaker of Japanese Bull Semen. But I beleive that it was Pontius with the Rope on the Kitchen... I need to play some Cluedo.

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