Aug 19, 2017

Oh no... First it was The Flintstones now The Jetsons?

Yup! We're getting a Live Action Jetsons movie... TV Series...
A Live Action version of The Jetsons...
The DC Comic Reboot pic has nothing to do, but it kinda does since it shows a more Realistic Depiction of the Jetsons...

I am VERY Wary of this project EVEN IF IT HAS ROBERT ZEMECKIS INVOLVED... Well that's the only thing giving me a bit of hope for the project if I want to be honest.

Why am I worried?
Let's see? Special effects. The Jetsons is a family sitcom in the future, which would require Special effects. We have seen some AWFUL CGI IN MOVIES, we can expect something worse for TV.

Now turn it into live action... If you're having flashbacks of this:

Then my job is done.
I'm also worried that audiences today simply DO NOT GIVE ENOUGH OF A DAMN for the Jetsons.

Also, ABC has already a series with a rather large budget...

Aug 18, 2017

The Director of Kong Skull Island got his fee-fees hurt by Cinemasins.

On Tuesday, Cinemasins released their Everything Wrong with Kong: Skull Island video.
The Director didn't like it and went on a tirade on twitter bashing Cinemasins.

Seriously, when you have to validate your movie to a Youtube Channel who hypernitpicks and grossly exaggerates movie flaws for comedic purposes, something's wrong with you. Seriously, they even MOCK themselves.

I could make a joke of an awful "professional writer" who hates my guts, but I won't waste time on that. I have much bigger fish to fry.

I kinda liked Kong: Skull Island. I called it OK. A more Superhero-ish take to the tale of Kong.
What's not OK is going on a multi-tweet tirade because your movie was "sinned" with sins that hold no real value or anything. TWO DAYS OF TWEETS WHINING ABOUT CINEMASINS... TWO DAYS... Then bringing up Trump. That's like the modern version of Mentioning Hitler or the Nazis... Not saying that Trump is one. I'm just saying that bringing Trump to defend a Freaking King Kong Remake is just like the Godwin's Law thing.

I'm starting to get a bad feeling about Metal Gear...

Aug 17, 2017

Odds and Ends 8/17/17 Nature Boy and other stuff...

My Mom knew a guy who claimed that he once worked as a bodyguard for Ric Flair... Yes, THAT Ric Flair. The guy was like 5'7" and barely weighs 120 when wet. *I* Kicked his ass once. Used to feel bad about the Nature Boy if HE was his bodyguard. Personal story aside, I AM worried about Ric Flair's current condition. Apparently, he's in worse condition than they thought. I hope he gets better.

A Star Wars movie that makes sense MAY BE HAPPENING... No, it's not a Vader film, but an Obi Wan Kenobi Solo film... Please be an Obi Wan in Tatooine looking after a Young Luke Skywalker from the shadows. Apparently, Stephen Daldry will be at the helm. I'm a bit worried about the Han Solo movie with those rumors about it being Ace Ventura in space...

March 29, 2019 is gonna suck... Dumbo in Live Action...
Tim Burton directing... The only good thing so far is Neither Depp nor HBC seem to be involved with this... We have Michael Keaton, Colin Farrell, Eva Green, and Danny De Vito in it... and Alan Arkin who just joined the cast... But Live Action Dumbo? I mean, it's not Lion King levels of wrong, but still...

And there has been VERY LITTLE PROGRESS ON THAT MGS Movie...

“Right now what we’re trying to write is the craziest, punk rock, Kojima, rock and roll, like ‘holy shit they’re going to try to make that movie that does this in that many time periods?!’ Like it’s special. Whether we can execute on that script, whether we can get it made, who knows. But right now, I truly believe that the target is in the right direction, and so we’ll see what happens from there.”

The Bold part worries me... This may be a Shadow Moses movie but with elements from other games intertwined... Guessing Outer Heaven, Zanzibar Land, Maybe even Tselinoyarsk... Hell, due to Liquid we might even get Africa... Whoa HOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!!! Dude, that's like 5 games... The dude might be getting a bit too ambitious.

Aug 16, 2017

Once again the Shenmue HD Remaster Rumors have surfaced.

Remember Shenmue... SEGA Game, story of revenge with a protagonist denser than bricks, who doesn't notice all the girls throwing themselves at him because he's focused on avenging his father... except when he's drinking soda, collecting capsule toys, racing forklifts, feeding a kitten, looking for sailors... you thought I forgot the sailors... Fighting Gollum... you get the idea.

I've already mentioned that SEGA was aware of our desire for some Shenmue 1 and 2. Well, now they are VERY INTERESTED in getting HD Remasters of Shenmue. While this doesn't guarantee that they happen, I hope they do, just to have the full story come together. Getting all 3 at the same time would be a Shenmue Overload...

Aug 14, 2017

The Time when My Little Pony attacked their fans...

Fame and Misfortune was so Savage that a Randy Picture isn't enough...

Nope! Needs more Savage...

Nope! Still not enough...

And I just ran out of Savage people to describe the Savagery that this episode was...

As said in the title, the episode is taking a jab at far more nitpicky fans... (guess I should feel alluded to, due to my nitpickiness, with DEM WINGS! and My Little Loli: Jailbait is magic...)

I mean look at this clip!

taking a jab at fans
They also confirm Rarity is worst pony.

They also point out that Fluttershy keeps learning THE SAME LESSON AGAIN AND AGAIN!!

Seriously, the entire episode is making the bronies look like asshats. The episode was so-so. I feel that it could've been handled a bit better. The Fluttershy character development explained was pretty good. The confirmation of Rarity being worst pony was great. But it felt like half the time was spent on telling the non-target audience fandom how much they suck. I mean, a bit over 2 years ago they were kissing brony ass now it's like screw you, we don't need you! Yeah sure, one could argue that SOME Elements of the fandom have lost focus on the Friendship part of Friendship is Magic, but they could've done it in a way without mocking the entire fandom.

I'll admit, I did laugh a couple of times when watching the episode. It was when Re-Watching it that the level of fan mockery hit me. Not cool!

We REALLY NEED the 11 Missing NA figures.

I need to campaign for the NA figures every now and then...   This may be a bit of a Retread of past rants campaigning for NA but I think this time I need to call for Super7's attention...

The Missing folks I'm talking about are:


I often mention that some of them can be made with heavy parts reuse if we can save a bit on tooling... New molds are the optimal solution, but IF not completely possible, reusing a couple of parts to get our results is the next best thing.

Well, I have to update some of the parts recipes, due to some people pointing some things out that could work as parts... ONCE AGAIN: NEW PARTS ARE BEST CASE SCENARIO. These are a worst case scenario kind of thing.

I know, I've done him a LOT OF TIMES.
He's a new head (s), weapons, armor.
His body is the He-Man buck, Hordak abs, Blast attack arms, STONEDAR Loincloth (New suggested part) Geldor Boots. Maybe add a new Head for Hydron WITHOUT the diving gear.

He's a new bandoleer, head(s) and weapons
Normal buck with Hordak Abs (it's mildly better than making a new shirt that could end up too bulky like Hydron or Sea Hawk)  The Left thigh of Blade, The Geldor "Knee" with the upper part of the boot. Blast Attak's lower boot . I recall mentioning the Laser He-Man forearms and FILMATION He-Man hands (They are a bit smaller than the NA Hands) Flipshot's loincloth completes the piece.

Again, head(s), armor, Weapons would be the new pieces. Although a new plug in piece for the Dawg-o-tor armor could work for him in an even worse case scenario...
Normal buck with NA He-Man forearms and FILMATION BEASTMAN hands... (so the hinges have identical articulation) Hordak abs., Trap Jaw lower legs with Sy-Klone loincloth.

Again, head(s), Weapons and armor, and armband are the new parts.
Normal He-Man buck, Blade's left thigh, RIO BLAST'S LEFT FOREARM (You could attach his stealth hook to any of the plugs in Rio's forearm.) RIO BLAST'S LOINCLOTH (While not exactly accurate to the character, since Vizar has a gun the shells on his belt would make sense, and that loincloth makes the legs look like pants) His right forearm would be Oo-larr's.

He's mostly Tuskador and Ram Man, but he needs a couple of new pieces, namely a new Centaur-esque 4 armed torso, head. New upper Shoulders, new Lower fists, weapons and removable sunglasses to have a nod to the cartoon.
The Arms are basically Ram Man's but the lower body is a repaint of Tuskador.

He requires plenty of new pieces, but some creative parts reuse could make him a less than 100% new tool. New Legs, Torso overlay, head, forearms, new weapons.
The old stuff would be the Horde Trooper Torso, Roboto Shoulders with Twistoid biceps, Rokkon Loincloth, Rio Blast's hands (due to the nature of his weapons those hands fit best) But in a super mega worst case scenario kind of thing I can take Blast Attak's upper legs and knees with Laser Power He-Man's boots.

Master Sebrian:
I recall to have mentioned that he's mostly made out of evil seed and lizard man. Nothing has changed here.

Now for the Mutants:

Once again, he's a new head, helmet, armor and weapons. In the worst case scenario a Squeeze head with Darius' helmet can work.
The reused parts would be Hssss shoulders, Goatman bracers, Demo-Man hands, Clawful Torso, Kobra Khan Loincloth, Darius' thighs, and Trap Jaw boots with duckfeet, though I would prefer a slightly less accurate, but more unique Saurod shins.

This one is a toughie... But let's see if I can crank up the creative parts reuse muscle on him...
Head would be new, as well as the torso, crotch, helmet and weapon.
I see Multibot's Red Arms. For his legs, we need to get funky! Upper Blue Legs, Bottom Green Legs, Magenta feet from Multibot. Once again, this is a case where he should be as close as 100% new tooling, but this recipe is like a worst case scenario thing.

He's a new head, Helmet, torso armor, weapon.
Roboto Shoulders, Normal biceps, Laser He-Man Forearms and hands
NA Skeletor Thighs and Trap Jaw Lower legs and feet. The extending neck is Mekaneck's shorter neck.

New Head, weapons and Torso Armor on the Normal buck. The Chunky armor syndrome is welcome here.
Shoulders are MEF, Biceps are Eldor's, Icarius Forearms with Demo-Man hands. For the legs we have Icarius Crotch, Darius Thighs, Trap Jaw Shins with the Batros boot and Trap Jaw feet...

Completing New Adventures without requiring 100% New Tooling on them. Why do I Insist on trying to get the rest of New Adventures? There's a couple of reasons:

-It would be completing what Mattel couldn't or didn't want to do.
-As much as I am not a fan of the Neitlichverse, making the Space Mutants a far away Horde Squad which kinda allows them to bleed into normal MOTU IS a good thing...

I KNOW New Adventures it the 3rd least popular version of MOTU (Son of He-Man and the more fanfictiony parts of the Neitlichverse being the other 2) but we are halfway there and they deserve to get their main roster completed.

Aug 13, 2017

The Rock's insane move...

So, there's 2 kinds of people. Those who think of Alcatraz or the Crazy Nic Cage movie with Connery when you mention The Rock; and those who think of this:

Well, I'm going to talk about The Rock, the Wrestler... Former Wrestler turned actor. Roll the Haku Machente clip!

Hey! That's the very same camera I use to take pictures for it came from the toy chest!
So let's see... Let's describe The Rock:
Cocky Eyebrow, Super white teeth, bouncy pec dance, The Funky Brahma Bull Tattoo... Well, that last one no longer applies to The Rock...

He got himself a brand new tat all over his Classic Brahma Bull...

The New Ink is super awesome and the shattered part of the skull is where the Classic Brahma Bull is covered up.

I know it's HIS BODY, HIS CHOICE, but that Bull is also HIS BRAND... Look at all his stuff... It has THE BULL!! Not the awesome Zombie Bull Monstrosity that could easily fit for a Cyberdemon on Doom...

If The Hurricane ever changes his Green Lantern Tat, I'm gonna cry!

Aug 10, 2017

Teensy Weensy Tiny Wimey Bit of Hope for Thundercats...

While I was writing an it came from the toy chest for a Warcraft toy, this little bit of news popped up on my Facebook feed:

A pic of a series of posts by Brian Flynn... The Super7 guy.

There might be a tiny bit of hope for Thundercats.

I REALLY Hope that this happens if Just to complete the CORE CORE CORE CORE Roster... Meaning:

For the Cats:
Tygra, who totally needs his bolo whip, hallucinogenic clip on plants and fruit. A second Partially aged Tygra from the Episode Trouble with Time. extra pair of hands is obvious toss in the chain of loyalty

Cheetara, who needs her staff. maybe the short version plugs to another piece to make the full staff. Aside the extra pair of hands, she could come in with Snarf and the Magic Flute.

Bengali... My most hated Cat. He's mostly a Tygra cheap clone, so he can come with his Hammer of Thundera, a broken sword of omens, the Bracelet of Power

Lynx-O, the blind Thundercat and completes the Team (sans Jaga) should come with his light shield, Mirror of truth and Jade Dragon (double headed dragon of doom). Extra hands are obvious.

For the Mutants:

Slithe, for obvious reasons, yessss. The usual for him his weapon, which we kinda got with Jackalman? extra hands. Snarfer

Vultureman, extra hands, Superpower Potion, His claw Weapon, Ma-Mutt

Monkian, extra hands, his mace, shield, a sound stone.

Mumm-Ra The Ever LIVING!! Extra hands, alternate Flared out cape, Fully unleashed Sword of Plundarr, Book of Omens, Silky, and Excalibur

Jaga and Grune could be an extra two pack just to get the corest of core out. IF I were forced to reduce this list to 4 characters only they'd be:
Tygra, Cheetara, Mumm-Ra, and Slithe. (Monkian and Vultureman Could be made out of custom MOTUC bucks.)

Now, let's not get too excited about this since it COULD BE a whole bunch of Nothing, but I hope we can AT LEAST get the corest of core T-Cats, just to have a complete team of cats and a Mumm-Ra.

It Came from the Toy Chest: Warcraft Toys are still crap... Mmmkay?

I finally found where the heck I had misplaced my Durotan figure...
The MOC pic will be a stock pic since he was loose when I found him. I had him MOC, but lost the MOC pic.

I can't explain Durotan, since I'm not a Warcraft person... I got him because I thought he could work as a generic Goblin for MOTUC (I say goblin instead of Orc, because he's a shrimp compared to a MOTUC Figure)

17 POA and the head is NOT one of them... Déjà vu?
-hinged ball joint Shoulders
-hinged ball joint Elbows
-thighs but blocked by long loincloth
-thigh rotation


Paint and Sculpt:
Unlike Medivh, Durotan gets a LOT OF LOVE HERE... The details on his clothing are 200Xlicious. There is plenty of paint applications and washes on the figure. I have some minor quibbles with a few areas painted half-way through, but unlike Medivh, I won't need to do a full body repaint/wash.


An Ax. I feel like he could have had something more.

Durotan gets a 2.5 as his overall score. While it's MUCH better than Medivh, his lack of articulation makes him a bit underwhelming. Had he been 7 inches, he would've been OK, but his puny size makes him even more underwhelming.

My Little Fidget Spinner and other odds and ends 8/10/2017

Has Hasbro gone too far? My Little Pony Fidget Spinners... Oh yeah Transformers too!

You already know how I feel about Spinners, so I won't bore you with the details... Here's the link to the small rant. NO, I WON'T BE GETTING THESE!! Now if they make a Cobra Commander Fidget Spinner, I might be tempted... Cause Whenever I'd use it, I'd probably do the ONCE A MAN tirade!
and when putting it away I'd do

But since Hasbro has GI Joe in the shelved position... I've no worries about me getting a fidget spinner.

Venom is still happening and they have cast A Character (unrevealed for now). This character will be played by Riz Ahmed, who played the Imperial Pilot that was Tentacle Raped by Forrest Whitaker's Mind Rape Octopus thing in Rogue One... The Star Wars movie where everyone important dies and has Alan Tudyk playing C-3P0 with Balls... Supposedly, Mr. Ahmed will NOT be playing Carnage... There is only one man I want to see as Carnage right now...
Jackie Earle Hayley has Crazy Ginger
 Murderer written all over this pic
add a cgi Red and black suit and
BAM! We have Carnage!!

One of the "Offensive pics" 
And Green Arrow has no time for homophobia. You know Stephen Amell... The guy who loves saying You have Failed this City or that his name is Oliver Queen and that he spent five years in hell, then he became someone else, something else... That guy, he's a huge supporter of LGBT rights and stuff. Well he was at the Vancouver pride parade and posted some photos. Some people got angry at his support of gay rights and they lashed at him. So he retaliated. Now next year he will ACTIVELY PARTICIPATE AT THE PARADE.  He better show up and upload pics of him in it to put his money where his mouth is. (Chances are he will)

Whether you agree with him or not, the fact is that if he sticks to his word, then that is, in a way kinda admirable.

Come on DC, Really? THAT'S the look of the Hero that Will defend Gotham by day? Duke Thomas got a new costume and it's a head scratcher...

I mean LOOK AT IT... Look at it LONG AND HARD... No, it's not a dick joke... Nor a Grayson Joke... If you still can't see my issue... Here's a look at that costume using Marvel VS Capcom Sprites with very Little editing done.
It literally looks like they put a Wolverine Mask on a Spider-Man Costume and a Bat Insignia to make it less obvious. Suddenly the Robin Suits started to look REAL GOOD...

Aug 9, 2017

Disney is leaving Netflix because of greed.

Well, looks like that's the end of the Disney Netflix Partnership (and me missing out on Spider-Prompto) all because Disney wants a bigger chunk of the pie. The House of Mouse wants to have its own Streaming service by 2019. They will also have by 2018 a streaming service for ESPN.

Here's the thing that worries me:
While the Netflix Produced Marvel shows are safe FOR NOW, losing Disney eliminates a chunk of programming from the service.

Other companies like BBC, and Warner Bros. have their own services as well. BBC pulled Doctor Who from Netflix and Young Justice is apparently going to be on Warner's own DC-themed streaming service. So, you're getting the picture...

People were leaving Cable because it was too expensive for a bunch of stuff people didn't want.
Streaming services like Netflix and their $9.99 streaming service seemed like a decent offer.

Britbox $7 monthly
Netflix $10 monthly
Hulu $12 with no ads monthly
Amazon $99 a year (No monthly option, but free shipping from Amazon prime)
Disney's service ?? (guessing $7-$15 range)
WB's DC service ??(guessing $7-$15 range)
Youtube Red $10 monthly
WWE Network $10 monthly
So let's math!
7+10+12+10+10 = 49 for Britbox, Netflix, Hulu, WWE Network, and Youtube Red add 14-30 monthly for the Disney and WB ones and we have $63- $79 for all those services. $756-$948 yearly... add the $99 from Amazon and we have $855-$1047 a year. Not counting ISP costs.

For example Comcast's XFinity's digital Premier (biggest package WITHOUT adding Internet) is $70 monthly. Which makes it $840 a year... FOR THE FIRST YEAR, The prices go up after 12 months.
Can you see the issue here? People were cutting the cord for a reason and now everyone wants to take all the action with streaming. When everyone wants to have their own streaming service We Will lose, because none of the services will be "good enough" for people with "all-around tastes" The Cable box may be gone, but it would still live on.

They Get Cable Right, why can't they do the same to Domino?

A few pics of Josh Brolin (and his stunt double) as Cable have been going around... Here's one of them:
After seeing this pic, the whole Domino thing pisses me off even more.

He looks pretty Cableish... I mean, he even has tons of pouches with ammo. The only nitpicks I have are:
-Realistic Proportions
-No Leifeldian Shoulderpads
-Weapons do not look so futuristic.

Other than that, he Totally nailed the Cable look, which makes Domino being the disappointing note here...
Isn't it weird how Deadpool can look like Deadpool, Cable can look like Cable, but Domino can't look like Domino and instead looks like Beyonce in Goldmember crossed with Barf from Spaceballs.
It's almost looking like" me soggy knee stick fox is being me soggy knee stick..."

All jokes aside. The fact that they can get Cable Right, but they don't do Domino properly screams lame attempt at virtue signalling. It's like they're screaming: "Look at us WE ARE DIVERSE!"

I mean it's not like Zoe Saldana (Mixed Latin Heritage) did the role of Gamora by ditching her natural dark skin tone and was painted green to play an alien... wait... Let me try this again. Dave Bautista, son of Filipino immigrants didn't paint his... dammit!!

But, those are MCU and Fox doesn't follow MCU... Freaking Frasier was beast on X-3 and he DID NOT wear any blue make up on him...

So, if Fox can get Frasier in blue make up and a blue fursuit, WHY IN CELESTIA'S NAME can't they get Domino right!?

Aug 6, 2017

So, I went back to revisit Miss Suzumiya...

Remember Haruhi Suzumiya? the Main antagonist  Character of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya... The anime series where this massive cun- bitch forces everyone to do her bidding because she's unknowingly, a god. She hopes of meeting an Alien, an Esper, and a Time Traveler... Then there's Kyon. He's a normie... a bit of a perv, but it's hard to not be tempted by Mikuru... Especially with all that Haruhi puts her through.

Too many Beach Balls!!

It's basically a slice of life anime but with some random events inadvertently caused by Haruhi.
She willed the bunch of weirdos that are part of the SOS Brigade together...

We have the Alien, Yuki Nagato, voiced by Michelle Ruff... Most know her as Rukia from Bleach... Me? Well, she has been Sakura Kasugano in Street Fighter Alpha anime, Crimson Viper in SF IV and V... Wait, she was Chiaki in the English dub of Zenki? Man, I wish I could watch Zenki, but the LatAm dub... She's an emotionless artificial human part of an alien Data Integration Thought Entity thing. She's there to observe and ensure that Haruhi's godlike powers don't go out of control, but by interfering the least amount possible.

Then we have the Esper, Creepy Koizumi... He basically enters Closed Spaces (Areas locked off from the rest of the world, where Haruhi's subconscious lashes out at the world via Celestials, which are Subconscious Kaiju created by Suzumiya.) If that sounds very Power Rangers like, then get ready for this... Koizumi is voiced by Johnny Yong Bosch... Don't remind me about Eureka Seven, please...
the wound is still fresh... OK, Johnny Yong Bosh is

a freaking Power Ranger... Also, his character might be gay... Which would confuse Miss Suzumiya if he said to her "I love you". (See endless eight and all the instances Koizumi violates Kyon's personal space)

Then we have Mikuru Asahina, the Time Traveler... She does stuff but that's Classified Information. She's also eye candy and Haruhi's victim of sexual harassment... becaus eClassified Information.

She's voiced by Eureka... Goddammit!

and Kyon is voiced by Holland... Koizumi is Renton and in Endless Eight Kyon's dislike of Koizumi was more obvious when Koizumi was hanging with Mikuru at night... Still referencing Eureka Seven when I didn't want to... Why did I had to fall for you?  Thought I had you out of my mind... but no, the universe conspires against me!!

Last but not Least Haruhi... which I already described... The comedic short series takes her bitchiness Over 9000

Also she's Faye from Cowboy Bebop and Athena Cykes (We at the House of Rants believe that Haruhi's Phoenix Wright impression was how she got to play Athena)

This is an anime I hadn't seen since this blog was in diapers. It's not an anime for everyone. The show was broadcast out of order and you need to swap discs to watch it in chronological order... and The Endless Eight... Oh God, The Endless Eight!! It's a shame that the series was cut short... which sucks... Now If I could find English versions of the novels... and Holy crap! Haruhi's seiyu in a sex scandal? Try it out if you haven't... Personally, I prefer watching the kinda official parody series Haruhi-chan, episode 1 shown above.

Aug 5, 2017

On Bios and MOTUC Canon (Déjà vu?)

After being contacted by Val Staples with some info on the "Valpoint Paradox" not being Valpoint, since he didn't write them; I began thinking: Why do I hate the Neitlichverse so much?

Short answer: It's not personal issues with the former writer of the current MOTU Canon, but issues with the writing itself.

Long answer: I've constantly stated that my main issue is the attempt to tell a huge story in such a small sized medium. The vintage Mini Comics Worked because they told a self-contained tale that showcased the character's abilities and a bit of their personality.

The index card sized Bio Box does not allow the writer to tell a huge story. You can't ask George R.R. Martin to tell the entirety of the Song of Ice and Fire on 42 Index Cards. Seven Novels of 300+ pages each are needed for him to tell that story.

The Bios should be about the Character who they are and what do they do. There is no space there to tell a small adventure story showcasing their abilities and personality.

Let's take our favorite ABSOLUTELY HETEROSEXUAL archer who is totally NOT GAY as an example.

Real Name: Kyle Reccula
After wandering through Despondos for several centuries and unable to return to Eternia, Hordak and his ageless army eventually claimed Etheria as a new throne world, deposing the local monarchs and ruling the people through fear. A nobleman in Queen Angella’s court, Kyle was one of many brave warriors who took up arms against the Horde invaders and joined the Great Rebellion. Nicknamed “Bow” due to his natural ability as an archer, each of his arrows possesses different powers and he has a magical heart that beats frantically when She-Ra is in danger. Bow is secretly in love with Princess Adora, unaware that she and She-Ra are one and the same!

Taking out the first sentence about Hordak helps fix the bio. Laziest fix ever. but let's try a bit harder.

That 'stache

Real Name: Beau Flynn (Beau because it's French for handsome and it also sounds like BOW. Flynn as a nod to Errol Flynn, the actor who played the most Iconic Version of Robin Hood)
Right out of the bat I fixed the Kyle Reccula mistake. That allows him to be called BOW without having to go for the "nickname" overexplanation. Though the name BEAU means Handsome, Boyfriend and sounds like Bow. Seeing that Glimmer's name is Glimmer, Angella is Angella, Adora is Adora, Bow being Beau makes sense. It sounds similar enough and no need for justifying the name, unlike Frosta or Castaspella, whose codenames seem too odd to be real names.

It kinda seems that Kyle was picked at random. Then again, Neitlich had a super mega tight deadline (insert perverted joke here) to do all the bios. I could make a joke about Neitlich mistyping Reticle as Reccula to imply that Bow is the Rebellion's sniper, but I'm taking the high road (for once).

Let's try to redo the rest of the bio.
When Bright Moon fell to the Horde Invasion, Bow took it upon himself to protect Princess Glimmer from The Evil Horde invaders with his extraordinary archery skills. As the young Princess began to form The Great Rebellion, Bow became more involved with the Princess' cause. Using his myriad of specialized arrows to aid the helpless, Bow became one of the Horde's most wanted. Once he met Adora, he was smitten by her and vowed to protect her. The Magical Crystal heart embedded in his chest developed a connection to the Warrior She-Ra and it warns Bow whenever she or Adora is in danger.

It more or less says the same thing that Neitlich tried to state. I simply made it more about Bow. He's not a simple nobleman, but Glimmer's self-proclaimed bodyguard. He's also a founding member of the Rebellion and there is some progress in his character arc by stating that as the rebellion was forming, he was getting more involved. Which means that at first he might have not been so adamant to help the rebellion. I paint him as a hero that uses his arrows for justice and that the Horde sees him as a threat. The falling in love with Adora thing is there. The Heart beating for She-Ra is there. While I don't blatantly state the issue of him being unaware of Adora being She-Ra, it IS subtly implied with his Crystal Heart making a connection to She-Ra. It MAY know that both Adora and She-Ra are the same person, which makes sense for it to warn Bow whenever each of them is in danger, but Bow's feelings for Adora may cloud his judgement about Adora and She-Ra being the same person.

Incredibly enough this is one of the BETTER Bios by Neitlich... Let me see if I can find one that bothers to tell his tale instead of focusing on the Character... No, not Perfuma. That focuses solely on her, which is GOOD, but it CAN be interpreted in a very dark rapey way... Which is bad.

OK Goat man!
Real name: Klacky

A member of the G'hoat men from the Northern Mountains, Klacky's species is one of the only intelligent humanoid upright races that falls subjective to the hypnotic powers of the Beast Men. And like most of his species, Klacky was captured by the rulers of the Vine Jungle and simply called "Goat Man" by his beastly masters. Eventually he found himself in the services of Raqquill Rqazz and was forced to serve in the Second Ultimate Battleground. Here he was severely wounded by Buzz-Off and left at the foot of Central Tower. Crawling inside, Klacky fell into a time portal and was transported into the future, arriving on Eternia when King He-Man ruled the land and his son Dare wielded the Power Sword. Forced to serve an aging Beast Man in this new time, Goat Man is forever following whatever evil orders he is given.

Again: Real name? WTF? Apparently Klacky is Slovak for Gorgeous... What the Huh? Well, maybe he is gorgeous for his people.
 The problem with his bio is that half of it is trying to fit in how a character from He-Man's era ends up in Dare's era. While the writer kinda makes it a personal story about Klacky's misadventure through his whole life, it's like HE WAS WOUNDED went to the future where He-Man is an old man and somehow Beastman found him and made him his bitch once again... How did Old Man Beastman
found Klacky? The point is that Half of the bio is trying to set up a convoluted story and half of that is barely dedicated to the character.

A member of the G'hoat men from the Northern Mountains, Klacky's species is one of the only intelligent humanoid upright races that falls subjective to the hypnotic powers of the Beast Men. It gives us a small background on the G'hoat men. They are effected by Beastman's animal control.

And like most of his species, Klacky was captured by the rulers of the Vine Jungle and simply called "Goat Man" by his beastly masters. It talks about Klacky, but it's still about the G'hoat men in general.

 Eventually he found himself in the services of Raqquill Rqazz and was forced to serve in the Second Ultimate Battleground. So far we have: This is Goatman, his species can be forced into slavery by Beastman's species... Beastman made him his bitch.

Here he was severely wounded by Buzz-Off and left at the foot of Central Tower.  Forced to serve in battle to get wounded without ANY significant accomplishments?

Crawling inside, Klacky fell into a time portal and was transported into the future, arriving on Eternia when King He-Man ruled the land and his son Dare wielded the Power Sword. This one sentence is the real culprit of the setting up the SoH part, which diminishes already what little we have with him.

Forced to serve an aging Beast Man in this new time, Goat Man is forever following whatever evil orders he is given. Once again he was Beastman's bitch.
Did we learn anything other than he only serves against his will?

But this is an example of what I was talking about. The Bios lose space to tell us about the Character and instead is wasted on a Story that can't be told properly in that medium. I KINDA see what Neitlich wanted to do with the story but the way it was told it left a lot of massive gaps that "Keep reading the bios" WILL NEVER ANSWER. (Why was Adam running around with a techno vest AND the Techno Sword to get the halves of the Power sword to use the power of Grayskull he already can use with the techno sword. Or how about who was wearing Spector's clothes to take Skelebaby to the future so he can become Skelechild, Skeletween, Skeleteen, and maybe Skeleadult... just to name two things.) Not understanding the medium you are writing to and trying to force a seven novel story into 42 index cards is a sign of bad writing.

But what about Bios not talking about the character in it?

Real Name: Uqquz’ Zekul-Mshqx
Realizing his pupil Keldor™ had no intention of releasing him from Despondos™, Hordak® merged him with an extra-dimensional being called Demo-Man™. While this saved Keldor’s life, it also drove him temporarily insane and convinced him to open a portal to Despondos™ and lead what he thought were “his people” to Eternia®. Hordak® intended to use this ruse as a means to escape once the portal was opened, but the new merged being “Skeletor®” was quickly defeated by Oo-larr™, the jungle He-Man®, and Hordak® remained trapped. Soon after, with the help of Evil-Lyn®, Skeletor® gained control of the powerful spirit inside of him, increasing his abilities ten-fold. He was now the true Overlord of Evil™ and one of the most dangerous men on Eternia®!

Demo-Man is an afterthought IN HIS OWN BIO... Not to mention his name being a bunch of random letters and apostrophes... seriously, try to pronounce: Uqquz’ Zekul-Mshqx. Everything else is Alcala Skeletor head Bio.

Now to bring this back to the New Writer(s) who are NOT Val Staples. (And I mean it as in: Val did not write the expanded MOTUC lore, and not as a joke that Val is writing them and pretending he is not.) They are still using the Neitlichisms that did MORE DAMAGE to the lore than good. Which means that the new writers are committing the same mistakes from the past.

The focus on:
-Shoving as many characters as possible into a small writing space
-Convoluting the Storyline even further to force in "Reissues". The ultimates only needed the Upper half of the bios that told you who they were and what they do. "The Classics Story Continues" is where everything goes down the crapper BECAUSE the undoing of Neitlichverse events is treated almost as bad as Marvel undid the Spider-Marriage. There are 2 Duncans AND Clamp Champ running about (guess now I know why he retired, since Duncan returned to his prime and is teamed up with Robo-Duncan or how I shall call him now Drum-Can) Dare is unneeded since He-Man and presumably She-Ra are back in their prime.

HOPEFULLY the NORMAL CLASSICS BIOS, which I sorely missed in 2016 (for mockery purposes and praise when the rare GOOD Bio showed up. If you wonder why I mention Mockery first read the upcoming quote carefully. It's from the Mosquitor Bio) will only focus on the character and not try to weave a tale that makes no sense.

Mosquitor moves in on his prey then stings them hard and sucks them dry. 

Like say: Lodar having an encounter with the NOW REDUNDANT DARE since Slave City was an early adventure of He-Man.

What we truly needed was a timeline with the key moments and players involved. If new figures were made after the Timeline 1.0 was made, then a small annotation with key events where said  character fought and a rough placement in the timeline... Like say:

-Great Unrest
Add the important battles here.
-Keldor's Betrayal after the defeat of Marzo
-Mystic Wall is erected and the Pax Randorica begins
small scale events during Pax Randorica
-Birth of the Twins and Kidnapping of Adora.
small scale events until the fall of the wall.
-Fall of the Wall
-Adam Becomes He-Man
series of small adventures like Diamond Ray of Disappearance Slave City, etc.
-Adam travels to Etheria and She-Ra is born.

That would allow you to fill in some blanks with upcoming characters, customs, etc. and make you THE Master of the Universe of Masters of the Universe.

I understand that when Neitlich came up with the MOTUC Canon he was throwing everything including the kitchen sink and hoping it all would stick in. He had a really tight deadline to do all this and that's why a lot of the bios feel rushed and awkward. This is mostly in part because he tried to tell a story that was ill suited for the medium. Had he gone instead with a who the character is, what can he or she do, who are his or her allies, the KISS approach. (Keep it simple, stupid) But He chose poorly. Nothing we can do about that. HOPEFULLY the new writer(s) will embrace simplicity to tell the EVEN NEWER Adventures of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.

Aug 4, 2017

Death Wish Remake is happening... Yipee Ki Yay?

It's happening and it has Bruce Willis... which I mentioned before, but now we has a trailer

And as I mentioned way back then and I quote:

We're in a too PC world where movies like this are frowned upon... Hell, Most of Mel Brooks' greatest movies would be undoable in this era.
Guess what: SocJus Whiners got their panties in a bunch regarding this remake as expected. 
I'm kinda interested to watch it DESPITE being a Remake/Reboot of Death Wish.

Try to be best

‘Cause you're only a man
And a man's gotta learn to take it
Try to believe
Though the going gets rough
That you gotta hang tough to make it
History repeats itself
Try and you'll succeed
Never doubt that you're the one
And you can have your dreams!
You're the best!
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down

Do you feel that illegal kick rushing to Johnny's face? Did you get a body baag?YEAH!!
We'll get a new web series based on Karate Kid:

"A down-and-out Johnny Lawrence (Zabka) seeks redemption by reopening the infamous Cobra Kai karate dojo, reigniting his rivalry with a now successful Daniel LaRusso (Macchio), who has been struggling to maintain balance in his life without the guidance of his mentor, Mr. Miyagi," If this sounds a lot like Sweep the Leg Johnny, then I'm not the only one who thought of that.

My only problem is that it's on Youtube Red, which is not available in PR. But a Karate Kid Sequel WITHOUT Hillary Swank... yay!!

It Came from the Toy Chest: Ha Ha Ha...

The MOTUC scaled Joker is finally in my hands. Forgot that I ordered one a while back. This MOTUC Sized Joker is based on The Dark Knight Returns... Just like Nipples, Batman, Superman, Armored Batman, Carrie Kelly Robin, the Mattel Vault unintentionally Racist 2 Pack whose only worth is the Heat Vision effect. So, The Crown Prince of Crime is here in all of his God Damn Glory.

His suit limits SOME Articulation, namely the waist swivel and legs.. He has no Ab Crunch. His balljoint head is severely limited for some reason.

Paint and Sculpt:
There is very little paint involved here. Most of it is on his face and it's very inspired by TDKR. Both Head Sculpts are inspired by TDKR as well, especially the deranged head, which is how The Joker meets his fate. Battarang to the eye and laughing himself to death. The Batatang piece can be lost easily. I'm totally going to glue mine in, since the slot on his right eye to plug the batarang makes it pointless to use that head without it.
Wanna hear a joke? MARTHA!!
-extra head
-Batarang piece to plug hole in head
-King Shark Torso
There's not much to add here.

The Joker gets a 4.17 as his final score. It's a decent score, but Mattel went out of their way to kill most of the MOTUC Customizing potential. First they made the neck peg way too small compared to MOTUC. It Kinda works with the WWE Create a Superstar toys, but they are mega loose. That Serious Joker head repainted could've worked perfect for Kayo (if he never gets made). The Only thing that could work is a Lubic Custom:
Remove the suit. Repaint figure in Lubic Colors. The arms should be the same color of a WWE Create a Superstar coat. Add a Bald head that resembles James Tolkan. Boom!

Aug 3, 2017

The Domino Controversy... and why the media is wrong about it.

Recently, a picture of Zazie Beetz as Domino was revealed...
The Internet was broken in half.

People, rightfully complained about the people behind the movie getting Domino all wrong.

The SocJus Whiners quickly began crying Racism... Media simply went with that angle.

Well, The Media is wrong. While, YES, there are SOME People that are complaining because...

Yes, Achmed, because they are Racist Bastards... On the other hand, Most people are complaining because they didn't Domino'd her enough.
Her "Spot" isn't the right color and with it, she kinda looks like John Candy in Spaceballs.

Her Skin color is wrong... Before you say THAT'S RACIST!!
hear me out. I'm NOT saying replace her with a white actress... I'm saying: Paint her in the chalky gray skin tones that the character is KNOWN TO HAVE...
Just look at the picture of her and Cable. As you can see, Cable is Caucasian... a Hwite Oppressor for those SocJus inclined folks. Domino is NOT visibly Caucasian, Asian, or of any other ethnic skin color, aside a chalky, unnatural grayish color... Meaning that she could be played by ANY Nationality, as long as the skin is pigmented by paint in that unnatural Chalky Gray Color. That's like her signature look, like Storm's White Hair. That's what makes Domino pop!

Again: *I* Have ZERO ISSUES WITH Zazie Beetz playing the role. I have issues with Domino NOT LOOKING LIKE HER COMIC BOOK SELF. Zoe Zaldaña and Dave Bautista were both covered in paint to become their characters, why is this so hard for Domino?
That's almost as bad as this...

"But Negasonic Teenage..."  Yes, Negasonic Teenage Warhead doesn't look or has the powers of her comicbook counterpart... whose biggest achievement was dying until Deadpool made her cool.

Point is that IF they paint the spot black *Literal black* not Dark skin color and color her skin in Ash tones, as if taking the pic and putting it in grayscale, you CAN GET a Decent Domino, as proven in this quick MSPaint hackjob. I'm not too fond of the fro' but I can live with it in exchange for the Unnatural GRAY Skin tone on Domino. That would bring a bigger degree of visual accuracy to the character that the official pic lacks. It's not about "Racism" but Accuracy to the visuals. Right now she looks like Misty Knight, Foxy Cleopatra, or a generic jive talkin' Jungle Fever object for the male protagonists to fight over.

Aug 2, 2017

Pegasus Fantasy and Chill?

I hate linking to Polygon, but CGI Saint Seiya Series has me interested...
My Latin American friends know what this means: LA CANCION DE LOS ERRORES EN CG!

US Friends, well...

I feel bad for you.

I'm excited, but I'm nervous as well... NO Pinkie Nervicited Clip today!

Here's what I have an issue:
The CG remake will be titled Knights of the Zodiac: Saint Seiya. The first season will consist of 12 half-hour episodes, which will cover the first four arcs of the original series. Yoshiharu Ashino, director of D. Gray Man Hallow, is set to direct the new series.
 Is this Just the Sanctuary Saga hyper condensed into 12 episodes?
Based on the Latin American Spanish version (which was what I saw) this covers
The Galaxy Tournament
The Black Saints
The Silver Saints
The Gold Saints (Battle for the 12 houses of the Zodiac)

The English version of the series splits these 4 arcs into 6. The Galaxy Tournament is like 8 episodes. Not too sure about this. Hopefully it'll be cool!

Aug 1, 2017


Now the issue plaguing me is: Should I open them or keep them MOC.
*Cue in the Flynn sucks brigade*
"Flynn is a bearded Neitlich!" "Flyn is a lying sack of crap!" "We miss Scott!"

Yes, the packages SHOULD HAVE BEEN RESEALABLE. *I* would have waited a month or 2 more just to get resealable packages. Flynn chose to release them ASAP instead of waiting for a month or so to get it right.

But at least he owned up to that mistake... Not unlike a certain someone who does things with his tongue nocturnally... or to Knights. The guy that passed the buck, but this is not the time or place to beat a dead horse like the false spiritual guide of playthings.

The point here is that THE ULTIMATES ARRIVED yesterday... but the mailman didn't leave my package at my porch. So I had to pick them up today. 3 Days... Matty never delivered in 3 days and they were backed by a 7 Billion Dollar Company.

The issue is that I LOVE THE NEW PACKAGING (Wish it was resealable, though) and it feels SO RIGHT!! The Red Meteor Explosion on the starry blue sky SCREAMS MOTU so much more than the blegh MOTUC background.

While "it's fun" that Super7 will keep the MOTUC Package for normal MOTUC, the Ultimates are something else... I don't keep stuff MOC but I want to keep these MOC because they look like the vintage toys all grown up.

It depends on what I decide for them to come out of the Toy Chest or not...