Masters of the universe DC Comics: A Rant.

No, I'm not going to review the comics on their own or as a whole, mostly because I hate them. Yeah, it's cool to have some other Media doing MOTU, but I think they are rubbish! Waste of paper, time, everything... I mean it's slightly ABOVE One More Day, but they're in the same league. And there will be spoilers.
Skeletor won. He rules Eternia from Castle Grayskull. The heroic warriors are scattered throughout the planet and remember nothing. Why not kill them if this is a new take on MOTU that is more "Mature n crap"? Yeah... I should mention that these comics are more "mature, darker and edgier" than the "kid Friendly" He-Man we know... Evil Lyn has sex with a dude, Randor sacrifices a bunch of people who are "Leech-Zombies", Teela is running around with rags barely covering her naughty bits, tons of blood and people dying!! Cause This ain't your daddy's MOTU! This is NU 52 MOTU!!!

THAT RIGHT THERE... Is my first Issue. The "Mature" content seems more juvenile. Deaths are played for shock value. Teela is a walking pair of boobs that quips with Adam in combat. Blood flows like a Mortal Kombat game. Oh yeah, the plot twists are worse than a flick by M. Night Shyamalamadingdong!
ORKO is EVIL!!

Adam doesn't HAVE the Power... he IS the Power!!

Boobs, butts, gore and needless deaths are not the ways to deliver a more grown up Masters of the Universe. No, I'm not saying that the comics should be "Filmationized" where no one gets hurt and He-man solves everything by throwing rocks or tossing the bad guys into mud pits. What I'm saying is that a MOTU with darker themes, improved action scenes, and more epic storytelling CAN BE MADE WHILE STAYING RESPECTFUL TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL!!

The Mindwipe spell. If Skeletor is capable of using that magic in order to take over Eternia, why wouldn't he reuse it if He-Man beats him on issue 6? Also, if he can take over Eternia, why didn't he KILL the Heroic Warriors? Only the Kiddified Skeletor would keep them alive so they could "break free" from their spell... Oh wait! Edgy EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEM! NU 52 Skeletor does this! Now Prince Adam/He-Man is just Adam: Woodsman. Now he's a videogame character... Seriously: Adam's story is pretty much: Go through stage, beat boss, repeat. After 5 levels err... Issues he gets the Triforce...  Power Sword and becomes He-Man... in ISSUE 5 out of 6... Then Issue six is a quick wrap-up where He-Man goes to fight the Final Boss and defeats Skeletor. Surprise! Skeletor is not the big bad... It seems Orko is the big bad!! SERIOUSLY!? THIS IS THE BIG MATURE PLOT TWIST!?

The children's liaison to the program is the BIG BAD!? That would be like having Toad being the big bad in Super Mario... Now the deaths... It's not so much that some characters die, cause that happens in pretty much everything. What bugs me is the way these deaths are treated. I'll be frank. I detest the idea of He-Man killing "Humans" even if they're evil (or under Evil Lyn's spell) The one thing that makes He-Man different from the generic loincloth wearing Barbarians is the No-Kill Policy. I also find tasteless having a bloody power sword. I'm OK with Randor, Man-at-Arms, Ram man, or even Teela killing their enemies, but not He-Man (and to an extent She-Ra when she shows up) Keeping them as the ultimate paragons of hope in a war torn world seems interesting to me... Especially for She-Ra since HER story is a story of Redemption.

Besides if He-Man is so powerful and can pretty much kill everyone in his way, theoretically he could plow through the evil warriors in less than 12 issues. Now, other characters dying. The problem with that is that the MOTU Roster is slightly limited...

Adam (He-Man)
Cringer (Battle Cat)
Randor
Marlena
Man-at-Arms
Teela
Stratos
Ram Man
Mekaneck
Man-E-Faces
Fisto
Moss Man
Roboto
Sy-Klone
Rio Blast
Clamp Champ
Stonedar
Rokkon
Snout Spout
Gwildor
Sorceress
Orko
Rotar

That's 23 Good guys from the Vintage toys.

Zodac (Neutral)

Skeletor
Panthor
Evil Lyn
Beastman
Merman
Tri-Klops
Trap Jaw
Whiplash
Clawful
Two Bad
Stinkor
Kobra Khan
Jitsu
Webstor
Spikor
Faker
Scareglow
Blade
Saurod
Twistoid
Blast Attack
Ninjor

That's 22 Bad guys from the vintage line (no snakemen or horde)

46 characters to use that had toys in the original line. If we start offing from these, the roster shrinks, duh! ESPECIALLY on a 6 part Mini series that is being used to introduce new readers/reintroduce older fans with passing knowledge of Eternian Lore. So on this 6 part Mini EVERYTHING that has been important in MOTU lore has been thrown out the window and changed for no apparent reason.
This puts the series in a very awkward position. It's trying to attract new folk AND MOTU "veterans". By using this ridiculous Pseudo Retcon, they are alienating both.

Like I said before, Adam IS the Power. Castle Grayskull is a plain old castle without any real significance. It is no longer the key to the ultimate power in the universe... He who controls Grayskull shall become master of the universe... not really! Now the Sorceress is Useless (and dead by decapitation). So, to the new readers, the Sorceress is an unimportant and disposable character killed by Skeletor. They don't understand the true significance of that act. To MOTU veterans, the DC writers have taken a diarrhetic dump on the memory of a beloved childhood character. I think this is the OTHER thing that bothers me the most. The lack of respect to the source Material. I kinda gave it away a little while ago, but it's the combination of gore and gratuitous near nudity for "sex appeal" with a total disrespect to MOTU what's making me hate these comics. It seems that DC's MOTU team are ignorant of MOTU Lore or are simply being disrespectful because they find it "corny" or "campy".

The 200X Comics by MV Creations were far more respectful to MOTU than this series will ever be. They had their hands tied by Mattel, but the stuff that was delivered was more in-line with what MOTU is supposed to be. (Mostly due to the MV Creations folks have a better understanding of MOTU than the folks at DC).

So yeah, it all boils down that DC is doing stuff that feels non-MOTU-like and slapping MOTU characters to make it MOTU... Like an awful fan fiction. Only this time it was not scrapped and replaced with a generic story with brand new characters... OK I can't cram 50 shades of crap into everything... I kinda feel like we'd be better off WITHOUT the comic than having a comic that misses the point of MOTU like Michael Bay missed the point when he made Pearl Harbor.