Jul 9, 2025

AI just gave me a great idea for a Playmates TMNT Crossover line

 TMNT × SbtB. We had Cobra Kai, Street Fighter, Stranger Things...

This line-up would be on the 6-inch scale BUT will feature new sculpts for the turtles:
Essentially the Remastered Turtles with New heads:
Don, Mike, Raph using the Wacky Action head expressions. Leo using the Storage shell head expression... all remastered with the bumps and stuff. That way, the turtles are shorter than the humans... but Playmates can feel free and make new thighs and biceps to add slightly more articulation. In fact redo the whole legs.

For the SbtB folks they would be new sculpts:

These would be the looks I'd go for the guys: 
Slater's was specifically chosen since it would be a Repaint of the Casey sculpt with new forearms and feet. 

For the ladies:

Lisa's outfit was chosen for a reason: it would be a reuse of the April sculpt. Yes, the April for this Crossover would be a version inspired by the Ravishing Reporter version. Of course, this would mean that Lisa would be a wave 2 release... just like Slater.

Wave 3 would be the final two turtles and Bayside students.

Accessories are easy:
Turtles:
Signature weapons
Casey:
Removable mask, bat
April:
Mic, Camera

Zack:
Cellphone, plastic lifesize Kelly Kapowski standee.
Kelly:
Duffel bag with implied baby brother inside, bat.
Jessie:
books. I wanted caffeine pill bottle, but they would say no.
Lisa:
Shopping bags,
Screech:
Spaghetti sauce flask, wired microphone 
Slater:
Shoebox with dead lizard 

The premise is simple: Burne sent April as an undercover reporter to a school in California where an Alien sighting allegedly happen. (Reference to the Season w episode: Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind). Casey tags along because he can use this as a chance to relive the glory days, since in California 15 year Olds look like 32 year old has-beens. (Reference how teens are played by really old adults)

The lineup could be expanded with Mr. Belding, Tori, other teachers, and get some TMNT folks that aren't necessarily Turtles, Splinter, Shredder. For example, a Burne and Mr. Tuttle could share a lot of body parts... but the hidden evil reason is a Max vs Pizzaface pack.

Jul 6, 2025

An Open World TMNT Game: a Rant

 With the looming threat of GTA 6 coming, my mind has been thinking of Open World games. Only one license kept popping Up: Teenage Mutant (something) Turtles.

I know what you're thinking: where's the Ninja in TMNT? Why did I purposely leave it blank?


This is the reason. The Turtles are also known as Heroes instead of Ninjas. 

So, the whole premise of the game literally hangs on Ninja or Hero for the Turtles. Think RDR2's honor system. I'm thinking of a TMNT game that would operate on Manhattan both Above and underground. PLUS the Northampton farm and surrounding woods area.

The game's continuity should be a brand new one as a hybrid of Mirage and 1987, in addition various other sources sprinkled in. Like say: the Introduction/Tutorial is based on TMNT 1 culminating with the apparent death of Shredder. Here the Turtles start with red bandanas, beating up thugs from The Purple Dragons, until they face off Shredder. Then we get the Mousers, the TCRI incident and hinting to the Return of Shredder before everything takes a more Mature take on 1987. (The D'Hoonib stuff will unfortunately, be relegated to DLC, among other stuff. A "Miles Morales" styled expansion game based on the Punk Frogs is in the cards as well.) Mission Replay will involve Renet. (If possible a Turtles in Time inspired DLC featuring Renet would be made)

The conclusion to the game would be infiltrating the Technodrome, facing Krang and the Cyber Shredder.

Intended bosses:
Purple Dragons (Hun Mason, Rocksteady, Bebop, among others)
Shredder
Baxter Stockman's Mouser mob
Casey Jones
Skonk and his CRAP
Rat King
Pizza face
Fly Baxter (not Mirage Stockman, but his adoptive brother, based on the 1987 toon)
Mutated Bebop and Rocksteady
Scaletail
Slash
Traag
Granitor
Cyber Shredder
Krang

D'Hoonib DLC Bosses
Triceratons
Federat
Stone Warriors

Punk Frogs Bosses:
Nightwatcher
Leather head
Anthrax  
Robotic Bebop and Robotic Rocksteady
Scratch
Dirk Savage
Ch'rell 
Mini Shredder
Claw Shredder
4 arm Shredder
Worm Shredder
Null

There would be other characters involved including new Mutations to fight.

But back to the "honor system."
The idea is that going more "Ninja" by relying on Stealth, operating mostly at night, avoid NPCs, would keep the Turtles more Mirage-esque. But on the other hand, going out by daylight, openly fighting in view of civilians, relying on flashiness, would tilt the scale towards Hero. When Vehicles become available, the Hero or Ninja status is more obvious.

Ninja:
Generic Van.

Hero:
Party Wagon 

Post D'Hoonib DLC:
Neutrino Cruiser.

Some missions would have different cutscenes, objectives, and approaches, depending on your status.
For example:
The final Mission to infiltrate the Technodrome changes cutscene, starting point and objectives depending your status:
Ninja: infiltrate from underground.
Hero: Use the Turtle Blimp and Rappel from the blimp. April or Casey will be the pilot.

Renet's Mission Replay would allow you to play the missions from the opposite status, ie: you beat the Mission first as Ninja, now you can beat it as Hero. 

On free roam, each Turtle goes out on their own and you.can occasionally catch up woth one of your brothers and do tandem missions/challenges. Each trutke would have their own individual missions. For example:
Mikey has Skateboarding checkpoint races, Raphael has Brawl challenges, Donatello has bomb defusing challenges, and Leonardo has Stealth Challenges.


Keith David, Voice of Chaos, got his own star.

Yes, it's a Dissidia reference... like I was going to start with the big guns.



I'm talking about Goliath's voice actor. We'll, he got his star on Hollywood's walk of fame. 

Meanwhile IGN, doesn't even mention his two biggest voice roles. They talk his iconic live action role on John Carpenter's The Thing. They mention Mass Effect, Halo, Saints Row, Destiny 2, but don't mention that he was THE voice of Spaw. All the way to MK11. Or Gargoyles. Fuck IGN, but congrats to Mr. DAVID. 

Making a case for TMNT's:

D doctor El: The Third most Racist Character after Pancho Villa Michelangelo, Native American Leo. Or is it 4th, since there's Nazi Bebop. So he's uh... Problematic.
El. This pipsqueakin' pachyderm used to be a pesky pygmy. Then Shredder went on safari to steal subjects from the jungle for an evil experiment. Shredhead was impressed with Doctor El's witch doctorin' ways - so he went the way of the Ooze.
That's from the figure's description card.

Seriously: pesky pygmy just by quoting this I'm feeling like I'm getting canceled.

Shredder went on a safari to steal subjects from the jungle. I know he's a villain and villain do villainous things, but it's current year and unless his backstory, Super7 would be canceled faster than a speeding bullet.



Shredhead was impressed with Doctor El's witch doctorin' ways...

Yeah, the Racism keeps piling up!

I know using current year standards for 30 year old media is bullahit, but current year would get Dr. El canceled. 

First we change the title from witch doctor to Sangoma. That's the South African equivalent of Shaman. Couldn't find the Central African word, since Pygmies are from Central Africa. So let's change the pesky part. Dammit! Can't do it. What I mean is Yoda was pesky when he was hiding his Sage status. So did Rafiki. Even Miyagi hid his wisdom while making LaRusso think he was just a sneaky old man exploiting a minor. It's the whole colonizer language used on the description. Oh god! I sound like a feminist basket weaving gender studies degree student. But all of this is just bullshit to mentally prepare you for some horrible news:

The character, as is, cannot be made today. It requires a rather large redesign.
Main issue is the Halfway transformation thing... Most Doctor El figures I've seen have various degrees of brown skin painted on.



It's not like Scumbug or Baxter where the separation between man and Mutated animal is well defined. It almost feels like someone at Playmates realized that painting a half Elephant half African Slave was a bad idea. (See his left ankle.There's a shackle.) So, for the sake of modernization, SOME changes have to happen...

The only solution is going full anthro Elephant. Both of his hands will be more human-like while his feet are full elephant and so would be his entire skin. The reason is to reduce the slavery connotations WITHOUT altering the design too much. Unlike the previous figures, there will not be any alternate human foot or Elephant hand. Obviously the unpainted parts would be painted this time. His tail would be a separate piece

He will have a single head with various trunks:
Vintage based, relaxed trunk, raised up, and holding a pepperoni slice to eat it. Since filecard says he likes pizza.

He gets the usual hands:
Both c-grips 
Fists
Dramatic

For accessories he gets the mask in realistic colors
The shield and spear in realistic colors
The bonechuck in realistic colors
Chewing herbs
Small granite mortar and pestle

There's the theoretical Doctor El. The problem is Why?
I'm just trying to make one of the most Racist characters viable. In Doctor El's case was adding Symmetry to obfuscate the original's unintended racism. Using new accessories to get closer to the herbalist nature of shamans and moving away from the whole
Yeah...

Also, since his human form would've been no higher than a Thunderkitten, his Mutated form should be barely taller than April... because Pygmy.

Jul 5, 2025

Random TMNT Ultimates musings:

 After the second 2003 wave, we're supposed to see a vintage inspired wave. My question is where do we go from here?

Aside Ultimates, having an E-tailer exclusive Deluxe series (meaning figures available ONLY on Super7's website, Amazon, Entertainment Earth, and BigBadToyStore) to avoid Playmates getting flustered by "retail competition".

For example:
Turtles:
They'd be in Playmates colors with brown pads , bandoliers, and wristbands but with Mirage red bandanas. Using the heads from first release Turtles you can have vintagized 2003 or homage to Ninja action Turtles.

Up to 2 new accessories in addition to their standard weapons: no EXTRA heads or hands.
Leonardo:
Slash effects that can fit on other katanas
Donatello:
Twirling Bo staff effect
Raphael:
Thrust effect sai
Michelangelo:
Vintage versions of the ultimates 2003 nunchaku.

I will mention some core characters that could get a refresh:

Splinter:
Using the Flocked Splinter sleeved robe on a vanilla Splinter body (Playmates colors) and for accessory the cartoon cane. The only new piece would be a cartoon inspired head.

Shredder;  
Repaint in a Mirage inspired palette.

Foot Soldier:
No repaint
For accessories: 2 Random Foot Soldier or Ninja rack weapons. Maybe an old weapon and a new weapon each wave should have a foot Soldier and with each wave a change in the sculpt is added: for example:
Wave 1: pristine 
Wave 2: Battle damaged arm guard
Wave 3: comes with a robot hand and the Toy based endo head
Wave 4 is a rerelease of the bd Foot Soldier with the Alpha-One head.

Rocksteady:
Toon inspired outfit repaint. Skin should match s7 ultimates
New bandolier with knife sheath.

Bebop:
Toon inspired head and outfit repaint with new Toon inspired glasses. Skin should match S7 ultimates.

Casey Jones:
"Original" Repaint: 
Bone white mask
Light blue gray crop top
Dark blue grey sweatpants and black sneakers with white accents
Accessories:
Golf bag
Single bat
New sledge hammer

Rasputin the Mad frog:
Genghis body with tongue head and brown eyes.
Repainted Genghis body: 
Same skintone:
Silver necklace 
Silver watch
Fuchsia anklet
Purple and magenta pants
Orange shirt with purple, Fuchsia and Magenta accents
New pieces:
Archery hand and bow.
Reuse Karai arrow.

April:
She needs more than an overhaul. But since it's supposed to be a fix for April v1, doing it through here is a reasonable idea. 

Using a new Torso and crotch inspired by the First Appearance look from Mirage, a new removable belt and new lower legs, we can make a Toon inspired April that has pre-made parts for a Mirage April (combining Ninja April upper arms with April 1.0 lower arms, we create the Mirage long sleeved look. New lower legs would seal the deal. A New head with a better cartoon likeness, the skin tone of April 1.0 AND compatibility with the Older April 1.0 heads and we're done here.
Microphone and Camera would be her accessories. Reuse Ninja April Camera and mic.

Triceraton:
A repaint of the Triceraton inspired by the Shogun Triceraton. With wristblade and blaster as accessories.

New Variants: 
This could be a way to release B-Ball Turtles to match Slam Dunkin' Don. Or Undercover Turtles to Match Raphael... but I wanna go Homebrew... Let's see what I can cook with:

Vigilante Turtles:
Leonardo:
Leo head
Sewer Samurai Torso and legs. The gold is now blue grey and the blue parts are now navy blue. The thigh armor is now navy blue as well as the shinguards. Vanilla Leonardo arms.
Accessories:
Soft goods blue grey Trenchcoat
2× NEW tonfa about the size of his swords

The idea is to have Leonardo act as a modern day samurai. The reason for the Tonfa is that he's going for non lethal weapons.

Donatello:
Don Head
Slam Dunk Don Torso, Punker Don legs and feet.
Dark purple shirt, grey pants, Black Boots
Wanderer Leo Arms
Accessories
Bo staff
UC Raph soft goods grey Trenchcoat.

Raphael:
Raph head
Slam Dunk Don Torso (Blue shir red pants)t
Rapping Mike Legs and feet (red pants black knee pads, white sneakers)
Accessories: 
2× Casey Bat

Basically Raph cosplaying as Casey.

Michelangelo:
Rapping Mike hat head (orange hat), Legs, and Feet Orange sneakers) 
Slam Dunkin Don torso
Wanderer Leo Forearms and elbow pads. Rapping Mike hands with Silver bling.
Accessories:
1× Nunchuck

Essentially Michelangelo cosplaying as a Videogame Beat-em' up character (inspired by Double Dragon) with a hint of fighting game (KoF).


Other characters, like Shredder Elite could be made out of Foot Soldier with a new head and Halberd. 

Personally, I might have a controversial take now... using the Deluxe to release supporting characters that don't necessarily NEED Ultimates amount of pieces: 

For example:
Tiffani
Tang Shen
Oroku  Nagi
Claw Shredder Clone
Mirage styled Fugitoid.
Hell, even Burne, Vernon and Irma could be made as Deluxe figures. 

But then here's the kicker: Super7 could release a huge accessory packs to plus up these figures.
Say: we get Deluxe Vernon, Burne, Irma, and Tiffani. Then Super7 releases a $65 "upgrade pack" with extra hands, heads, and accessories to turn Delixe into Ultimate.

The Turtles could get such pack, so on and so forth.

Then again, there is also similar characters... kinda like what I did with Rasputin. For example: Super7 makes an Ultimates Traag, but they engineered alternate shoulders and neck piece to make Granitor when tooling Traag's molds. This would be made for the Deluxe Release of Granitor. This would require Super7  to plan ahead. Based on the voices of fired employees due to Tariff-man, planning ahead may not be a strong suit there.

Simpler solution: repaints and army builders should be the recipients of Deluxe treatment.

Unrelated, but give us an Ultimates Pizzaface.




Jul 4, 2025

OK, who let Haley Joel Osment watch nip/tuck?

And why is Yuna Dancing to the theme of Charmed? 


Wait... Jessica Alba, Charmed, Nip/Tuck... one of these things is not like the others.


Norman Osborn? Now I'm confused.


Oh, OH! Fantastic Four! That's the Jessica Alba clue! Also, doesn't the water on the Flipper logo look like a pair of buttcheeks with the buttcrack hovering over the pp? The Norman Osborn thing is because in the F4 movie Julian McMahon is ripping off Norman.

Wait Julian McMahon is dead!? How!? Fucking Cancer. 

My condolences to friends and Family. Now here would be the part where I fondly reminisce of his work and wax poetically. Not this time. I have zero fond memories of Mr.McMahon... not the WWE guy, the actor who played a shitty Doom... mainly due to a shitty script. My brother is the one who religiously watched Charmed, so he could wax poetically about Cole.


Mr. Stark, I don't know what's going on!?

 I haven't seen Ironheart... it's no secret that I'm not a fan of Riri Williams. Not in the comics, nor in BP2: Guakanda por siempre. Title written in Spanish so the Loveless Child can understand. So, yeah. I still have to watch Ironfart on Disney plus...

In other news, Stardust's theme goes with Everything. After we got some Polka Dots on Tuesday... Now we get a Guile on this shitstorm.

Getting distracted. No. I have no issues with the actress playing Riri. Again.

I have no issues with the actress playing Riri. It's how the character was written, where I have issues.

When she started she was a caricature of an entitled social justice warrior. Her origin seems almost like a supervillain story. She even became a Latverian Dictator for like 5 minutes. She sounds like a badly written fanfoc character.

What?

Nothing. As I was saying: Ironheart revealed a HUGE Marvel Villain.

If we follow the comics, Tom Holland renounced Zendaya in order to save Marissa Tomei.

That's right. Mephisto is now Ali G. Shit, I gotta watch Ironfart now. 

Jul 3, 2025

Why is Yuna dancing to Will you be there?

 Wait, don't tell me the kid from Free Willy died. Wait, why is Haley Joel Osment playing GTA 3? GTA 3, Free Willy... what's the connection?


Holy shit, it's Michael Madsen... My condolences to friends and family.

What can I say about Michael Madsen? I mean, all I know him from is literally Free Willy, GTA 3, and Kill Bill... forgot Reservoir Dogs and that one random Episode of CSI Miami, Quantum Leap, amd Miami Vice... yes, I had to look for those on imdb... I mean I wasn't going to sully his memory with Driv3r.

First he lost Willy, then he lost Randolph, now he loses Glenn... poor Jesse.

Suddenly I want to watch Free Willy... the original, not the Bindi Irwin reboot.


Another FTC rant... mostly me being stupid.

 While, yes, FTC would try to reuse as many parts as possible on their figures, not all lines have to be tied to wrestling. I mean they make MEGO-STYLED stuff.

So, these Ultimate Civilians, don't necessarily NEED to be attached to the Wrestling line.

Babies!
Hear me out. We need Babies.
Why Babies?
They are easy to make: blanket body with swappable heads.
Each baby could be sold with a stroller...

Maybe even make a Car Seat version to use on the SLAMMOBILE or the Lucha Low Rider . Of course they'd need photo mounting putty.

 Prisoners:
I already mentioned the Police. So let's add the Prisoners.
For the most part, these would be Loosely inspired by the Luthor linked above.

Best case scenario, we get new feet and new crotch but let's assume the worst case scenario and use the Referee bodies. 
We have bodies for 4 different Prisoners.
The Fat body would need new legs and feet for new Prisoners an alternate upper Torso could yield a female big body. 


Children and teens:
I've mentioned more parts for the kids, still applies here. 

For teens, I think 6 inches is reasonable for boys and maybe whatever height the MOTU Origons figures are for the girls.

Business and office people: 
Bank tellers, office workers, secretaries, in-office messengers, etc. This would require some new parts for the ladies. But let's get the easy ones out: Men!

Between the announcers and the cameraman, they have bodies for various levels of formality... tie, no tie, blazer, no blazer.
BTW the Boxing Referee gives us the bowtie for the ones who think 

That's 12 variations... or more if we get more skintones.

Women are harder as they require new parts, between body parts and overlays.

Mainly 2 new upper torsos:

-Bare featureless breast Barbie body
-Turtleneck Torso with uniboob.

The current Bra body won't work great for this environment.

Assuming the Lisa shoes work on the Female Referee legs, we put the Lisa Arms and a blazer overlay on the Referee body. Pop a new head preferably a slightly older looking lady with the "karen" hairstyle, not to be confused with Kid Karen's pageboy style
Pink shirt, white blazer and pants. You got a character.

Using the "Barbie torso", the female announcer dress in a different color with the Lisa legs and a new head and you have a new civilian.

Using the Turtleneck Torso, Amber's skirt and legs you have a new character. 

In a previous rant I mentioned criminals. We can expand that. 
Gang members:

The Hunter and Brad Overlays help sell the crook look. Even the Eugene blazer could help.
New overlays that could be used are: denim vest, leather jacket, or bomber jacket.
Make some angry faces. Add the crook masks and gun available at FTC. Make a few new accessories and boom.
There are multiple combinations that can be used on non criminals as well. For example the Hoodie can be made long sleeved or sleeveless. Even the sleeveless hoodies can be worn with long or short sleeve undershirts. The leather jacket can be "turned" into a leather vest if it's sleeveless. There are options.

The fat body would require new legs and feet to become criminals. Shirts and sandals won't cut it.

Between the Normal female body and the Referee body, with some creative overlays and heads; female gang members can be made.

Point is there's a plethora of options to explore.

Jul 2, 2025

A King's Tale: a FFXV rant

 I noticed That this game was free on the PS store. It's a sort of prequel to Final Fantasy XV. So I said to myself "Self; We regrettably have to play this game." Why did I say regrettably? Because It showcases the incompetent Way that Final Fantasy XV was made. A full game shouldn't require 3 mandatory story. Chapters to be hidden by DLC. It shouldn't require a movie and anime prequel. It also shouldn't require a glorified mobile game prequel.

It's a good thing that this this game adds nothing of value to the story.
To be fair this was a preorder bonus later made available to all. I just noticed it when I was checking if the NES era Final Fantasy games were on sale.

I stand corrected, I must play the online multi-player FFXV Comrades for this game to add something of value.

It's a somewhat fun little game. Somewhat short, but OK for an added freebie. Maybe Square Enix should look at games like these to expand some "incomplete" games. 

I mean, expanding the Laguna story for FF8 would be a nice start.

Also, I hate this rendition of Man with the Machinegun because it capture Laguna perfectly... and reminds me of someone I know.
Not gonna say any names but it's me... except the getting all the chicks part. Age has killed the little game I had. But settling down kids and a white picket fence is not my thing. Eating Vorn Flakes at 3 AM whole watching 8ps movies is more of my thing. See? I lost my train of thought.

Storm showed a con teaser...

While I wait for Alpha Ryu and Ken, Stormco dropped this:


Sagat with wrong colored pants... looks nice and all, but I can live without him. 

Chun Li is pretty tempting... Show us Kasugano and Kanzuki!!

Carlitos Nacho is looking great. What else can I say?


I want, nay, NEED Hibiki Sensei in my life!


There we got Street Fighter Alpha stuff out the way...

Morrigan and Lilith may not have as many shared parts as I thought.

They look lovely. But all save Ryu and Ken need Licensor approval.

To be honest I may be more interested in Darkstalkers than Street Fighter Alpha.

Jul 1, 2025

A fantastic 4 food review.

Pic from my box. It's in Spanish so you know it's sourced locally.

 I Got the fantastic four pizza from Little Caesars. It tasted like a Little Caesars pizza. But I have complaints. Gee, what else is new? 

Before I get unto the nitty gritty, my pizza had a pale bottom. We could be the pale bottom twins. If I have to use a pizza steel to reheat the pizza to get some tanned bottom on the pizza, you failed. But to be fair it happens at times to all pizza chains.

Good thing Ben was born normal and became The Thing as an adult. If you know Jew know...

Putting Ben Grimm's foreskin jokes aside, he is of the Jewish faith. Little Caesars is most definitely NOT Kosher.

$10.⁹⁹ in Puerto Rico + taxes.

Also, Ben wouldn't be able to eat this pizza.

Pepperoni on one side, Italian Sausage and Bacon on the other. Jews can't mix meat and dairy, but the most offensive meat to them is Pork, because it's unclean as fuck! What I'm getting at is that each quarter of the pizza represents A member of the fantastic four.
  1. Sue is pepperoni because she likes the Richards Sausage (and Namor's, and T'Challa's. Hell, she even tried using Parker to make Richards jealous.)
  2. Johnny is similar to Sue's because siblings. His has Jalapeños because he's Flamin' on! Not sure about the Pepperoni though. Are they saying the new non-womanizing Johnny is gay? Spoilers maybe?
  3. Then Reed has Italian Sausage and Bacon. Maybe the sausage is a nod to Victor's scarring and how his face ended up looking like spam after he put the hot Doom armor? The Bacon is his inability to save Ben.
  4. Ben is plain cheese because he can't have the best pizza toppings due to his Jewish faith.
Don't get me wrong.It was a decent pizza for a Little Caesars.Pizza; it just doesn't make sense for the fantastic four... from a comic book nerd perspective.

Oh God! Street Fighter the new movie has a Dan.

 And the Japanese Warrior is going to be played by... a White Dude. First Roman Reigns is Akuma, now comedian Andrew Schultz is The Master of Saikyo

We're adding Alpha stuff to this mess. Seriously, this movie is scaring me with all the crap being revealed. Yes, the 90s movie had wrong nationalities... like Native American Sagat, MexiKen, and Filipino-American Akuma

But at least the actors resembled their characters! So far the only Good Casting choice I've seen is Jimmy Momoa. Blanka's real name is Jimmy.

But no cast choice has surpassed the awfulness of ugly ass Taboo  as Vega in The Legend of Chun Li.