Todd McFarlane is at it again! Feeling like singing a song...
Here's the newest license,
That Todd has gotten since,
Making some Batmen
that made no sense!
He ruined Harry Potter
He fucked up Doom as well
Now he's got the Witcher...
Am I in Hell?
Toss a coin to McFarlane! O variants of plenty! O variants of plenty Oooohooouuuh! Toss a coin to McFarlane O variants of plenteeeeeeheeee!
He messed up Game of Thrones
Star Trek's in cancelled zones...
Even DC stuff is
somewhat questionable...
Except the Batman stuff
That is always top notch...
Even better than Hellspawn
Who is Todd's creation!
Toss a coin to McFarlane! O variants of plenty! O variants of plenty Oooohooouuuh! Toss a coin to McFarlane friend of the communiteeehee!
The original song didn't have
This third verse I just made,
But I have to add it for it to make sense...
I'm not mocking Todd
Because he made mistakes
That other toy companies made in past decades!!
Toss a coin to McFarlane! O variants of plenty! O variants of plenty Oooohooouuuh! Toss a coin to McFarlane O variants of plenteeeeeeheeee!
Now with a fourth verse
I'll break the multiverse,
Because despite the mistakes,
Uncle Todd is a friend!
If he could I don't know
Get his head out of his bum and
Stop it with the Batmen for the love of God!
Toss a coin to McFarlane! O variants of plenty! O variants of plenty Oooohooouuuh! Toss a coin to McFarlane friend of the communiteeehee!
Toss a coin to McFarlane! O variants of plenty! O variants of plenty Oooohooouuuh! Toss a coin to McFarlane friend of the communiteeehee!
Toss a coin to McFarlane! O variants of plenty! O variants of plenty Oooohooouuuh! Toss a coin to McFarlane friend of the communiteeehee!
Now that I got my Dandelion impression out of the way, let's talk Geralt of Rivia, the Witcher... No, not the Henry Cavill Witcher... The Videogame one. The Witcher a genetically modified human from a medieval fantasy world, where the Witchers, are specialized Monster Hunters. Seen as abominations by humans and supernatural beings, the Witchers travel the world offering their services to whomever is willing to pay. In this particular case we have Geralt of Rivia, a Witcher of the School of the Wolf, who is the protagonist of the games... based on the books.
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| Nun: Witcher! Geralt: Why are you naked, child! Nun: I'm a grown woman, I'm just petite! Geralt: You're lucky my friend Dandelion isn't here. Nun: I don't care about your life, mutant! I need you to kill a pair of monsters! Geralt: Hmmm! If you have coin, I'm your man, sister! Nun: Are you mocking me!? Geralt: About these monsters. Nun: You need to find a stranger carrying a spear and markings of two swords on his arm. He claimed to be a Master Baiter and is currently tracking them in this forest. |
Articulation:
Geralt of Rivia sports the new standard McFarlane articulation. It is mostly functional and while I wish we had gotten butterfly joints to help with sword gripping poses, I understand why we didn't. The waist articulation was stuck on mine and there seems to be no diaphragm joint or ab crunch.
4.5
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| Geralt: Damn, you're ugly! Nefty: You're not too pleasing to the eye either, Witcher... Geralt: I was talking about the Werewolf and this Turtle-like Drowner... Nefty: (making a bad Geralt impression) They're NECAs!! Geralt: Nekkers? Nefty: Not Nekkers, NECAs... (but a pair of nekkers would be nice, Todd) |
Paint and sculpt:
Face sculpts seem to be Todd's Bane... for some reason they end up looking a bit off on unmasked characters. Geralt is no exception. Other than that he actually looks like a decent representation of the game version of The Witcher. If there is one thing I'm not fond of is the lack of paint on the swords.
4.5
Accessories:
Steel Sword for Humans
Silver Sword for Monsters
Honestly I feel that McFarlane dropped the ball here. Interchangeable hands would have been great for this figure. For example:
A set of hands with the different gestures for Axii, a hand with a partial Quen Shield effect. A hand with the Aard push effect, a hand firing Igni... hell, even an Yrden magic trap effect would've been nice.
2.0
 |
| Nefty: Oy Lazare, Lazare. Tuka ni sa kazali. Geralt: How do you like that Silver! |
Overall:
Geralt of Rivia with Golden Armor gets a 3.67 as his final score. It's a shame that this version was supposed to appear before the normal version got the shaft compared to the normal version, which has at least a trophy of past bounties. It's a decent figure, but it could've been done a bit better. I may collect othher characters from this line... come on Dandelion!!
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| Nefty: LELELE LELELELELE LELELELE AAAAAAAHHHHHHHIIEEEEE! Geralt: Why do I hear Boss Music? He-Man: So you're the mercenary saving people for money... Geralt: A barbarian Swordsman... Ever heard of Gwent? He-Man: That's my favorite Card Game!! Nefty: Hwat!? Wait, what happened to the aked Nun? |
There's a part of me that wants to see monsters from the game, but Sirens and harpies might not make it to stores due to boobs and despite Monsters being a McFarlane strength, stores are too much of a pussy to sell them.
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| Geralt: The Nun got the sword that is neither steel, nor silver... Nefty: He's talking about his P E N I S. He-Man: Nefty, that's wrong to say that about Geralt!! He's a good man! Geralt: But Nefty is speaking the truth... |
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