Ninja April: a rant

 While Rat King has taken the spotlight in the recent "Super7 sucks" campaign, despite they getting a mandate from TPTB to not do toys too close to Playmates vintage offerings, April has been under fire as well...

Seriously, what about this Cavewoman outfit screams: Ninja? Don't get me wrong, having April O'Neil wearing only a makeshift dress made out of leopard skin is one of Casey Jones' weirdest fantasies, but a Ninja Newscaster it does not make.

This "Ninja" April is more Ninja-like...

The bandage wraps, sandals, martial arts outfit, and facemask scream Ninja a lot better than "Me Tarzan you Jane" bedtime fantasy vintage April the "Ninja Newscaster" does. 

The idea that April decides to learn Ninjitsu for self defense after hanging out with the Turtles makes sense. But the notion that Aprile has become a Black belt Ninja in such a short time. Taking in consideration that April is an Adult Woman with a full-time job, which leaves her very little time to truly practice. The fastest one person could reach Black Belt level on a martial art is arpund 4-6 years. And that's if the person eats, sleeps, breathes, and lives martial arts like some sort of world warrior... so, canonically speaking this April's existence means that she's known the Turtles for AT LEAST 5-7 years... thus, meaning the Turtles might be in the 20-22 years of age... twenty-something mutant ninja turtles doesn't have the same ring as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... but wait there's more... look at her accessories, she's got four different weapon disciplines. Meaning that she had to master all four weapons that the turtles have been training for over a decade... in 4-6 years...

I'm starting to think that Splinter just gave her a black belt for shits and giggles instead of for truly mastering martial arts.

All I'm saying is that April should be sporting a White Belt, because there's no way in hell that April will be far more proficient at ninja weapons than the TMNT. Maybe a green belt to show that she's going places but still has a lot to go...

But the real reason April got this Ninja makeover is because of Karai. We saw Karai and she shares parts with April. It makes sense for Super7 to reuse some of Karai's parts with a Ninja April, since in some continuities, she HAS Actually trained under Splinter. But this version of April allows something peculiar to be made:

A slightly more "Family Friendly" and "Vintagized" version of Aska.

They could reuse April's top... the A also works for Aska. All they need to do is a tiny red bit of paint to cover her cleavage, bare thighs and new lower legs. Toss in new forearms and hands. New heads and boom.

Quick Low skilled edit of a theoretical Aska by Super7.

Hell, combining parts from This April and Karai, a human Jennika could be a thing. 

But back to Aska:

All she'd need for accessories aside her hands and maybe a head, are Kunai. She could also come with a Vintage Colors Tournament Fighters Rat King head...

Screencap from Spriters resource...
Funny how he's got some sprites that have vintage colors...

A Tournament Fighters inspired redeco could be released as the GITD variation of Rat King sporting only the TF styled head with his body being made in GITD Blue and GITD White. Face, hair, and hands painted in non GITD plastic.

It looks vintage and doesn't step on Playmates' toes...

Dammit! It came back to Rat King! I didn't want this to return to Rat King, I swear...

So, what I'm saying is that THIS Ninja April has far more potential for reusable parts than her Playmates Toys counterpart. Sometimes it's better to drift away from Playmates stuff... April the Ninja Newscaster is a prime example...

Shit! Shit! Shit! This means that April the Ravishong Reporter is a no go... and there go my dreams of making a Undercover Liberty City Hooker April.