Mar 22, 2023

Shazam Fury of the Rants: a godly review.

 I just came back from watching Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods. If I could summarize this as succinctly as possible I would say this:

Ignore the Snydertards and go watch it! It is a really entertaining movie. Personally, I found it more enjoyable than Black Adam. Which means, that I found it more enjoyable than pretty much the entirety of the DCEU... especially the Snyder turd movies... Hell, I'm going to watch it again this Sunday! For me it was an emotional roller coaster.

So now for the Spoilers... after the Jump!

So, we start with Shazam/Billy trying to deal with the reality of his life:
He feels like his life is falling apart, since he's close to turning 18, meaning that he's turning into a kinda legally an adult, which means he could be kicked out of his current foster home, the rest of the Shazam family wants to spread out and do their thing, but Billy is holding them back due to his abandonment issues, and the fact that he sucks as a Superhero, because for every good thing he does, something else goes wrong. He feels unworthy of his powers. Meanwhile, the daughters of Atlas have found the Wizard's staff and they're trying to resurrect the Garden of the Hesperides. 

After the Daughters of Atlas depower Freddie, Billy struggles with his shortcomings as a leader, his feelings of worthlessness, and his abandonment issues while trying to rescue the now depowered Freddy. He keeps trying and failing as more members of his family are depowered by the Atlas Crotchgoblins... I just called Helen Mirren a crotchgoblin. Freddie managed to win the heart from one of Atlas's kids, the youngest DoA (Rachel Zeigler) who ends up being depowered after her older sister (Lucy Liu) kills the Eldest (Helen Mirren) and depowers the youngest.

The rest of the Shazam family, now depowered find a way to fight without powers that would give most Snydertards a heart attack, because it's not dark, edgy and pointless. Fucking stabhorses fueled by rainbows and candy... I mean Skittles.

The final confrontation is between Shazam and Lucy Liu riding a big freaking Dragon... Here Billy pulls out the heroic sacrifice card and dies while destroying the New Garden of the Hesperides, which would destroy the Earth if let to fully grow. With this sacrifice, Billy showed his worthiness to his powers...
Billy is buried in the realm of the gods, now a desolate and barren wasteland.
But then...
Wait, get that Snydertrash wailing out of here! Play the canonical Wonder Woman theme.
Wonder Woman shows up and revives the godly realm. Billy pulls off a much better Jesus symbolism than a former Witcher... and both died in their second movie
That's pretty much the movie...

I did pull a Modern Kevin Smith impression about two times, but then again, the movie touched some themes with Billy that hit a bit too close to home, hence the Kevin Smith impressions. Luckily, the movie had some moments of levity to counteract the more emotional moments.


This forced a cameo from Waller's lackeys from Peacemaker to show up instead. With the whole DCEU getting rebooted, I would've axed this post-credits scene.
Shazam felt more Superman than the DCEU movies with actual Superman. I don't blame Cavill, I blame the second rate Michael Bay.

No comments:

Post a Comment