I know what I said about Masterverse and their inferiority next to MOTUC that hasn't changed. The thing is that while not as great as MOTUC, they are better than Origins... Well, Mainly the New Eternia stuff. The Revelation stuff is a bit more pathetic in comparison. Unless it's one of the expensive "deluxe figures" like Il Papa Tríclope, but even then, the "deluxe" doesn't feel that deluxe. So we have Cuntla... infamously played by Sarah Michelle Gellar of Buffy fame. Take Teela bathe her in Third Wave Misandry and drape her in Ray Romano's whininess. Then you have a toned down version of Kevin Smith's Teela.
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| Skeletor: Who sends a girl to do a He-Man's job? Teela: I shall neuter you, then decollate you and with your own phallus fornicate you... |
Articulation
She shares the exact same articulation as her male counterparts. Everything He-Man can do articulation wose, she can do it, but at a slightly smaller scale, since she's a bit shorter.
4.5
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| Teela: Why do i have to stand next to this aesthetically unpleasant statue of a rotund oppressor? Nefty VO: What!? Teela: Are you Obtuse? Are you Mentally addled or something similar? Nefty VO: You're really testing my patience... Well, your mother was a falcon and your father smelt of elderberries!! |
Paint and sculpt
She looks like her Revelation counterpart. That means her look is a lot less barbaric and the only remains of her barbaric past are the furry bits on her boots. The hair up head has a stoic expression, but the loos hair head has a look like the Patriarchy pissed on her strawberry Special K.
4.5
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| Cryborg: Buffy man bad!! Teela: Are we talking about Joss Whedon? Cryborg: Yeah... Teela: He's a creep! He was targetting a minor back when I was Buffy and hw was creepy around the girls... Cryborg: He's also a racist!! He made me say Booyah!! Teela: Really? That's all he did to you? You got off easy! Now all I can do to stay relevant is do shitty voiceovers on cartoons. Cryborg: I rely on Zack Snyder to have work, since Whedon and Warner Brothers have gone out of their way to ruin my career |
Accessories
Shield, sword, 2 alt. hands, extra head. These fogures should have 6 hands total... (2 grip, 2 fist, 2 open hand)4.5
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| Teela: How do you like that Skeletor? Teela (falsetto voice): Myaaah! I can't believe I'm enjoying this! He-Man: Sorry we're late, Teela! We had to save Adam! You know how that Prince of yours gets in trou- What the Hell!? Is that Skeletor's... Teela: Yup! He-Man: And that's his... Teela: Uh-huh! He-Man: And you're... Teela: He had it cumming... He-Man: Did you just... Teela: YES! I DID! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!? He-Man: I don't have a problem, I have ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THAT! Teela: Wanna join him? He-Man: No... Teela: since you're super strong, can you reattach his head rectally He-Man: this is why we need Psychiatror: Heroic Master of Mental Health... |
Overall
Teela gets a 4.5 as her final score. Despite being based on a bad cartoon version of her, the figure is pretty solid. I don't see myself replacing a hundred plus Classics figures with these. Had MOTUC never existed, these would've been the best MOTU figures ever... but these exist because MOTUC came first and Mattel is way petty than me so they're trying to flip-off Neitlich.
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