Mar 29, 2010

Run! They're REMAKING GODZILLA!!!

Oh no! What are they thinking!? Remaking Godzilla a reimagining of the Original GOJIRA... an American Gojira... Please no!

Unless Godzilla looks like the REAL Godzilla I will not bother. I was fooled once in the 90s... Iguana =/= Godzilla.

THIS IS GODZILLA

This is NOT Godzilla... do not worry The world will seek balance and that Abomination will be destroyed... (The Iguana)

Reimagining... This worries me a lot. It COULD be faithful to the original, or a complete bastardization of what made the original awesome... This is in the hands of the people who did the Clash of the Titans remake. I hope that CotT doesn't suck...

Mar 28, 2010

Odds and ends: March 28th-29th 2010 Edition

MacGyver is dissappointed with this guy.
Ok so here's the story:
Dude breaks in to a business and steals stuff while wearing duct tpae on his shoes. Story lacks a lot of details, but he was caught. My uneducated guess is that the guy was wearing the duct tape in an attempt to cover up his tracks.
Reasons why Mac would be dissappointed:
-Failing to pull off a MacGyver.
-Using Mac's favorite tool for evil.

Oh my God! There IS a Twilight Videogame!!! For Wii and DS... It's a scene it? game... It's made by KONAMI... Yes Konami as in
CastleVania, Metal Gear,Yu-Gi-Oh! videogames, etc.
WHY!? I know that it'll sell being Twilight and all that, but on the good side it's a Scene It? game... It's not like it's a TRUE TWILIGHT GAME... If such a thing existed I'd wish I could play as Mr. Sparkly. I'd have a lot of fun failing certain stages... Most of them would be the ones where Edward would have to protect Bella.


What The Hell!? That's Captain America!? Johnny Freaking Storm is going to play Captain America!? If the rumors are true that 20th Century Fox is rebooting F4, then it's ok. I mena He's no Cap, but he might be better than some of the other names that were floating around like... Channing Tatum... We dodged that bullet...

Happy Birthday Xena!!
Yes Lucy Lawless,aka Xena:Warrior Princess is 42... Wow... I can still hear her ululating battle cry in my head.
Other People who grow older today:
Mad-Eye Moody Brendan Gleeson is now 55.
Christopher Lambert is 53...
He was the Highlander, Tarzan AND fought some dumb ninjas waitaminute... He's fought dumb Ninjas a couple of times...


FLAWLESS VICTORY!!! FATALITY!

Mar 23, 2010

Hey What the!? Man arrested for breaking IN to prison.

Uh... isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
Dude was accused of href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/manslaughter"manslaughter. made a plea baragin and then breaks IN to prison. Why? He was afraid of retaliation from the victim's family. Holy Crap!!
Breaking INTO jail... sounds comic book like... Cue the Watchemn clip... *ahem* Cue the Watchmen clip... No Watchmen clip? aww!

I'm usually against scalpers, but these guys...
Scalping You're doing it wrong.
I just wanted to use the demotivational wording... They only stole the baby formula to resell and spend their earnings in gambling, drugs, and living expenses. Modern day Robin Hoods, but with drugs and gambling... Formula is a tad expensive... So they kinda did a good deed amongst all the wrongdoing? I have no Idea if one right can cancel that many wrongs.

Tell me that at least I can get a Robin Hood clip... even if it's Men in Tights... No? Dang Flabbit!

This almost sounds like it was straight from a Scorsese film
So a girl gets hitmen to whack dad? He was Despotic?

That's not right... Using that clip makes it sound that Italians are mobsters. They are not. There are Mobsters that are Italians... You get the point. They also are not Plumbers that eat Mushrooms and stomp Turtles...

stop it with the Italian Stereotypes...

Now you go video crazy... oh sweet niblets! I gotta' get some better assistants.

Mar 22, 2010

It came from the Toy Chest: I can haz teh powaa 2

Cringer became the mighty Battle Cat and I became He-Man: The Most Powerful man in the Universe!!!


Prince Adam's Fearless friend boosted with The power of Grayskull is here!! Another of Mattycollector.com Masters of the Universe Classics Toys. The mighty Battlecat is here to be reviewed.
His packaging is similar to the traditional MOTUC Package, only that Battlecat's is resealable and larger .

Now that the Beast is free, you can see that he is similar to the Vintage Battle Cat toy from the 80s line. This is because the Masters of The Universe Classics line is about updating the entire MOTU uh... universes (Vintage He-Man and the MOTU, She-Ra: Princess of Power, The New adventures of He-Man, AND the 2002 Reimagining of MOTU) while being inspired by the original look of the first MOTU line.

Now unto the review part: In a scale of one to five, uno a cinco... 1 = waste of plastic not even worth for a Happy meal toy. 5 = Most amazing toy in the entire UNIVERSE!!! universe!!! niverse!! verse!! erse!! se!!


Here you can see Battle Cat nekkid without his accessories.

Articulation: He's got WAY more Articulation than the Vintage BattleCat who had ZERO points of Articulation. He's got more Articulation than the 200X Battle Cat that has: 6! Six points of Articulation!! MOTUC Battle Cat has 28!!! Yes, 28 Points of Articulation!! You can do a lot of stuff with that kitty! (Almost any cat pose can be pulled off by BC) 4.5

Paint/Sculpt: The 4 Horsemen outdid themselves here. They've made a modern toy looking like the vintage 80s Battle Cat. The fur sculpt looks fantastic on Battle Cat.(Hopefully if they release Skeletor's riding kitteh, Panthor Mattel will not flock the cat and hide it's sculpt.) The paint is minimal (since Mattel is very stingy on paint apps.) but it works. Most of the shading techniques are used on the Armor/Saddle. It makes the textures on it pop out. 4.5

Accessories: Here we have his armor (which is removeable) and that's about it. He does not have the Claw guards or the Laser guns of the 200X Battlecat (That I removed from mine so he looked more like Vintage.) I love the "Triceratops" Mask on Battle Cat (because it looks better than the Sabretooth Tiger hockey Mask of 200X).
5.0

Overall, Battle Cat gets a: 4.7


MOTUC BC makes 200X BC look like a shrimpy cat.


He-Man and Battle Cat. They go together like Peanut Butter and Chocolate... Mmmmm! Reese's Peaut Butter cups...

Random MOTU Facts: Panthor was a reuse of Battle Cat who was a reuse of the Big Jim Tiger, which was a reuse of the Tarzan Panther. full Circle. (Now if Mattel makes a Big Jim Classics they might reuse the MOTUC Battle Cat.)

Zoar the Falcon and Screeech (3 e's not to be confused with Dustin Diamond) were reuses of a big Jim Eagle/Falcon. The MOTUC Zoar and Screeech (The come with Teela and Evil Lyn respectively) are reuses of DCUC Beast Boy's Falcon form (The Falcon was reused on the Wonder Twins as Jayna's form of Eagle)

Trap Jaw was inspired by a Big Jim Villain (Iron Claw).

Until Next time.

Mar 18, 2010

It came from The Toy Chest: MOTUC HE-MAN!

I am Adam, Prince of Eternia Defender of the Secrets of Castle Grayskull... Ok I am not, but let's see who came out of the toy chest...

Yes! It's none other than THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE UNIVERSE himself... HE-MAN!!

-Um...

Yes, He was featured in the very first It came From the Toy Chest... as a host. I found the lost pics in my HD... so I'm reviewing him before I get my Battle Cat.


He's got his Coridite Harness, His Hero Ax, His Shield, His Power Sword and a Half Power Sword. He looks all nice and fancy... kinda like the 80s He-Man but better.
Before you ask me: "Why should I bother with him?"

Simple: He can actually do the Transformation Pose...
He-Man WAS available on Nov. 15 on MattyCollector.com (each month they have a new figure. $20 each + S&H ) The Masters of the Universe Classics Line is ONLY available on mattycollector.com unless you check out other sites that resell the toys. (You will have to pay more for them, but these guys are worth it.

Now for the review part itself:
Sacle 1 to 5. One being sucky toy that made me waste money on it and 5 being most awesomest toy in the history of toys?
Articulation: These guys have a lot of articulation compared to previous MOTU lines.
(MOTUC HE-Man has 28 PoA vs the 12 poa of 200X He-Man vs the 6 PoA of the ORiginal '80s He-Man) It's not as much as the Marvel Legends, but it's way more articulation than what Mattel normally uses. 4.0 (I miss the Extra Articulation points from Marvel Legends like the wrist swivel, among others.)

Paint/Sculpt: The 4 Horsemen outdid themselves here. They've made a modern toy looking like the vintage 80s He-Man. The paint is minimal (since Mattel is very stingy on paint apps.) but it works.
4.0 He-Man is one of the blandest character designs form the line. Also this line is meant to feel like the vintage line (parts reuse to the maximum power) so Hyper detailed sculpts are out of the question.

Accessories: Here we have his armor (which is removeable) His axe, Shield AND sword. Also we get another nod to the vintage toy with the half sword. If you join He-Man's Sword with Skeletor's Sword you get a second power Sword... a Third. (Kinda like some Frozen Yogurt machines. You get Vanilla, Chocolate and Half Vanilla-Half Chocolate.) 5.0

Overall 4.3

Once again, If you could find a MOTUC He-Man, go for it. IT's a real awesome toy.
There is a He-Man vs Superman two pack available in Toys R Us. It's pretty much the same He-Man as the one from my Review but it has a few differences:
Diferent Paint Job: His wrist guards are yellow instead of Orange, His Harness is a lighter Grey, His hair is a lighter blonde, and his boots are more reddish.
Different Sculpt: His left Arm Wrist Guard matches his Right Wrist Guard
Different Accessories: This He-Man DOES NOT HAVE the Power Sword. He Has the Axe and the Shield. (Different colors on the Shield). Also Superman is an accessory to that He-Man.


BTW: There are no strings or glue holding Adora and Teela in place.

Reitman ain't afraid of no ghosts...

But Columbia Pictures is afraid of Ivan Reitman, the Writer/Producer of the previous Ghostbuster movies.
The suits want to have the older GBs training a new Generation of GBs, but with a brand new younger director at the helm. Sheesh! Not again! Haven't they learned? You never mess with the Original Formula.... New Coke anyone? Luckily for Reitman he's got an ace in the hole.
However, Reitman's old contract — made at the height of his and Ovitz's powers — still gives him exceptional creative control over the series, including director approval.

Ouch! It's also said that Ramis, Murray and Akroyd have that Super Veto Power...
At this rate the Masters of the Universe movie will be made before Ghostbusters 3...

I might not be afraid of ghosts, but I am afraid of THIS!!

Timmy B. is at it again!! This time is The Addams Family. Luckily for us it'll be an animated movie. Stop Motion and in 3D, BTW. I'm going out on a limb but my gut tells me that Gomez will be Johnny Depp and Morticia will be Helena Boham Carter. Tim Burton directing Addams Family is a match made in freaky world heaven. I just want him to avoid using Johnny Depp and Helena Boham Carter.

♪It's close to midnight Somethin'evil's lurking in the dark♫ in 3D... Yes they're trying to remaster/reprocess Thriller IN 3D... Can we say Deadxploitation. It will be cool, but come on!

I miss this game!!!

Mar 17, 2010

odds and ends March 17 2010

Crap! It seems that Neil Patrick Harris IS NOT Gargamel.
Apu is going to voice Gargamel. Wait what? VOICE GARGAMEL? So is the movie 100% CGI or is it CG + Live Action... I don't mind Hank Azaria. He's a great VA, but there is something here that reeks.
The movie will take place in New York City’s Central Park and is set to begin production next month.

There we go... That's the part that reeks.

Spider-Man reboot, Spider-Man reboot, was supposed to be directed by the one who beated Avatar.
Funny. A Looooooong Time Ago James Cameron was supposed to direct Spider-Man. She passed on Spidey. The task of Directing Spidey lies on Marc Webb... heh heh Webb... (500 Days of Summer). Guess who is going to give some advice to Mr. Webb... James Cameron (The guy is trying to push for a 3-d Spidey... HECK YEAH!!)
BTW: It is rumored that either Zac Effron or Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson) is playing Spidey. Well if Percy Jackson is Spidey I hope that Emily Osment is Gwen Stacy.

Well the casting of Peter Parker is going to be one crazy ride. There is one Brit that was rumored to be Peter/Spidey.
It's not the one that posed nude with a Horse so people would stop calling him Potter.
Yes, the Shimering Pedo-stalker himself WANTS to play Peter Parker/Spider-Man. He could do a nice job, BUT I do not need another reason for the twit... Twihards invading ComicCon.

Miley wants to kill Hannah. She's tired of the pink, frills, Sparkles, and wants to break free from her Disney Overlords. That's cool and all but Breaking away from the Hannah will be hard. Urkel haunts Jaleel White to this day. Screech haunts Dustin Diamond. Breaking away from Hannah will be tough on Miley. I don't see her as doing an Elizabeth Berkley and making a movie like Showgirls (Which harmed Ms. Berkely more than being Jessie from Saved by the Bell.) Maybe she'll do a Macauly Culkin and play one psycho SoB. (Killer Miley... Now that would be awesome!)
She ain't doing the country thing. There goes my dream fo hearing a Miley-fied Achy Breaky Heart.
"It scares me, that's why. It feels contrived on so many levels. Unless you're wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy boots and singing and whining about your girlfriend or boyfriend leaving you it's not going to sell. I think that's why my dad finally got out of it. You have to wear those cowboy boots and be sweet as pie. It makes me nervous, the politics of it all."
Why she ain't doing the Country thing.

I'm pretty sure that Captain Jack Sparrow never had this problem.

Arrrgh!
These Pirates thought that they were going to get some booty... WRONG!!
They tried to attack a Dutch Warship...
Shiver me timbers! They were Lucky that the Dutch didn't send them to Davy Jones' Locker!

Mar 16, 2010

Twilight related stuff.

I want to stop writing about Twilight. I really do but, there's so much Twi-crap going on that I must comment on it.
Remember that Epic Fai... I mean Breaking Dawn was meant to be 2 movies and 3D.
Well Now they're looking for Directors.
I pity the foo who is chosen.
The top three choices are:
Gus Van Sant (Milk)
Sofia Coppola (Lost in Translation)
Bill Condon (Dreamgirls)

I just want to see the birth of the Demon Spawn NESSIE in 3-d...
Wave 2 of the New Moon action figures by NECA are out.
I don't like the NECA Twilight Figures for the same reason I hate their Harry Potter figures... LACK OF ARTICULATION! (and that the only NECA lines I like are a pain in the Neck to find... Street Fighter and TMNT)

Well here they are: There's Another Edward (This reeks of Smashblade He-man syndrome from 200X) There's a nearly naked Sharkboy... I mean Jacob Black, there's some girly dude (I know it's Jasper) and SPARKLY EDWARD VARIANT!!! YAY!!
Wave 2 is a Twi-sausagefest. (wave 1 had Edward, Bella, Jacob with some clothes on and Alice.) I'd buy these figs if they had some Articulation on their legs.I wanted an Edward and Bella recreate this:

But the lame Articulation doesn't let me!!!
Speaking of lame and Twilight (both of them seem to go together so well kinda like Peanut Butter and Chocolate)

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS!!
Do not click on that link unless you want your brains to be melted into a pulp. It contains Twilight: The graphic novel... (more like Twilight: the Manga, but... it's another Twilight Rehash...) Waiting for Breaking dawn's GN to read Renesmee's Birth.

All this twilight crap is making me want to drink... But I need something strong enough to make me forget Twilight...

IT comes in Whiskey and XXX Rum varieties too... I really want to get a bottle of this... Just for the label. I wonder if Mattel know of this little secret. PRoduct actually exists and it's from India... (There must be a lot of He-Fans there...)


Drinks, Musicals, What's next?

Mar 13, 2010

Hey what the!? 3yo. shoots herself parents blame Wii.

Ok... what the heck...
A 3 year old girl shoots herself. Death blamed on a Wiimote/gun mix up.

Three-year-old Cheyenne Alexis McKeehan shot herself in the abdomen with the family’s handgun at their home in the rural Norene community, Wilson County Sheriff Terry Ashe said.
Ashe said the girl’s stepfather had taken out his gun to try to frighten off dogs that had been hanging around the home.
The child had been playing a Nintendo Wii video game, Ashe said. The game’s controller was shaped like a gun that looked very similar to the real handgun, which her stepfather had put on a table in the living room. Ashe said the girl pulled the gun off the table and it went off.


Let's read this SLOWLY. The stepfather had a gun which he left in the living room. (where a 3 year old child could reach.) I mean COME ON!! How can you blame the Wii in here.

Douglas Cronberger usually kept his gun unloaded and in a cabinet. However, on Saturday night, Cronberger got out his gun, loaded it and went outside to look for what he thought was a prowler. When he came back inside, he put the gun on an end table in the living room and forgot about it, according to a Sheriff's Department statement.
The statement also said Cheyenne learned how to use a gun from playing a Nintendo Wii game for days.


BTW, the real gun is the one with the Plastic Strap "locking" it.

Link to a distributor of a third party lightgun adapter for the Wiimote that "resembles" a real gun.
What I don't like about this is the spin that the Wii has some blame in it.
THE Wii CANNOT BE BLAMED FOR THIS. The Chinese company that makes these third party accessories is not to blame. The blame lies solely in the irresponsible gun owner.

It doesn't matter if the kid used the Wii, or that the controller looked like a real gun. The fact of the matter is that this person left a gun where a child could reach it and forgot about it...
I thought that one of the rules for safe gun handling was NEVER LEAVE A LOADED WEAPON WHERE OTHER PEOPLE COULD GET THEM.

I fear that now Some People are going to use this in one of their "Videogames are EVIL!!" Crusade.

The Law should not go easy on this guy. His negligence killed a child. It's almost as if he pointed the gun at the kid and shot her. I know that nobody is parfect and that everybody makes mistakes... But this type of mistake is UNFORGIVABLE. A child died because of this guy's mistake.

Fooling around with guns only gets people hurt or killed.

Like This guy. Good thing he's an expert and follows the rules so no one gets hurt.

Mar 12, 2010

Tim Burton: One trick Pony?

Tim Burton, The man behind Batman (1989), Batman Returns (1992), Edward Scissorhands (1990), Beetlejuice (1988) and many other movies. He is famous for his dark and quirky movies, overusing Johnny Depp and Helena Boham Carter, having Danny Elfman score the music for his films. That guy...

He's become the Michael Bay of People who practically live on Hot Topic and are not looking for Twilight or the 80s cartoon /game shirts. You know the ones I'm talking about...
The goths, the wannabe Goths and the emo kids who think they are cool because they have a Jack Skellington shirt. Looks like Tim has found his comfort zone and refuses to get out of there... and he's got his target audience so he's not gonna grow out of that niche anymore. To be honest he's become predictable. Can't wait for his Wizard of Oz I can almost see his cast: Helena Boham Carter as the Wicked Witch of the West, Deep Roy as The Wizard, Johhny Depp as the Scarecrow, Danny DeVito as Toto, Michael Keaton as the Cowardly Lion, as Dorothy Miley Cyrus or something along those lines... Before you complain about Miley, She WAS on a Tim Burton Flick (This was before she was known as Miley/Hannah...)

I miss the Pre-Mars Attacks Tim Burton. He had more guts and wasn't afraid to try something different. Now he's stuck in making goth/emo kid versions of children's books. He should try banning Helena Boham Carter/Johhny Depp from his movies.
If you'll excuse me I'm gonna raid hot topic... hopefully they've some NECA TMNT figs on clearance...

Mar 11, 2010

Smurf the Smurfing Smurfs!

Smurf yeah! Yes I'm dropping the Smurf bomb! Why I'm so smurfing excited about the Smurfing Smurfs?


Quentin Tarantino... is going to be a smurfing smurf!! Smurfing Quentin Tarantino is going to be a smurf!! Got it memorized?
Quentin Tarantino is BRAINY SMURF!! The little douchebag with the glasses. The one that they always threw out of the village when he rambled too much... Yeah, That guy.
But that's not all. Here's a list of other rumored Smurfs:
Papa Smurf = Jonathan Winters
Hefty Smurf = Alan Cumming... Boris from Goldeneye... I AM INVINCIBLE!! Or Nightcrawler form X-men... Smurfing awesome!
Smurfette = Katy Perry. So Smurfette kissed a girl and she liked it.

That's Sassette. The only girl smurf besides Smurfette... This is getting smurfing creepy.
Grouchy Smurf = George Lopez. Oh great now we have George Lopez smurfing another childhood favorite... this is smurfing great... First he's working on a non-racist PC version of Speedy Gonzalez... (George Lopez, the guy who spends his standup time making racist jokes about latinos is working on a PC Speedy Gonzalez...)

Hopefully Neil Patrick Harris IS Gargamel...

Now that's a really cool Gargamel!

I wanted to keep it Smurfs only but reading that George Lopez might be in this has fueled my RAAAAAAAGEEEE!!! (mostly because of PC Speedy) I mean... Ruin THIS

by making it PC? George is going to ruin Speedy (and help Slowpoke to lay off the grass.)
¡ANDALE!¡ANDALE!¡ARRIBA!¡ARRIBA!

Mar 10, 2010

Holy Crap! Chuck Norris is 70!!

And he can still kick all of our butts in a fight. Luckily for us Chuck's a pacifist... Unless it's Internet Chuck... Now that guy would roundhouse kick us all the way to Pluto... and make it a planet once more because he is Chuck Norris.



Happy Birthday Chuck! Please don't roundhouse me all the way to Pluto... There's no TV in Pluto... I need to see part II of the Hannah Montana Season Finale: Miley says Goodbye.

Other People that Their Birthday is Today March 10th:
Sharon Stone: She was in King Solomon's mines, Alan Quartermaine and the Lost City of Gold, The Specialist, Catwoman... I feel sorry for her... for being in Catwoman... HAppy 52 Sharon!
Olivia Wilde: She plays Thirteen (Dr. Hadley) on House M.D. BTW she is The Baroness in the Ballad of GI Joe... 26... Isn't she a bit too young to be a Doctor?
Emily Osment: Before you ask, YES she is RELATED to Haley Joel Osment. She's 18 now. She's almost free from Disney's grasp. I'm pretty sure once Hannah Montana is doen for she'll be free from Disney. Hopefully she won't fade into obscurity like her Keyblading Brother did.

All this talk about birthdays make me a bit cheery, but I have some sort of sad news to report.
Haley Joel Osment can see Corey Haim... If you catch my drift.
Accidental Drug Overdose. (NOTE This Corey is the one that was NOT in The Goonies, or voiced Donatello in the first TMNT Movie...)

Mar 8, 2010

Have you ever heard the one with the extermination of blue CGI cat-people?

The 82nd Academy Awards
Academy Awards Winners List
I will not bore you to tears with the events of that night since I didn't watch them... Far too busy watching Part One of the Hannah Montana Season Finale... and Some Family Guy reruns. Then I played some Pet Society, Gangster City and some Crazy Planets before checking IMDB...
Lo and Behold this is what I saw:

Best Motion Picture Winner: The Hurt Locker
Avatar was nominated...

Best Achievement in Directing Winner: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron was nominated because of Avatar

Best Achievement in Editing Winner: Bob Murawski, Chris Innis The Hurt Locker
Stephen E. Rivkin, John Refoua, James Cameron were nominated because of Avatar

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score Winner: Michael Giacchino Up
James Horner was nominated because of Avatar

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing Winner: Paul N.J. Ottosson, Ray Beckett The Hurt Locker
Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson, Tony Johnson were nominated because of Avatar

Best Achievement in Sound Editing Winner: Paul N.J. Ottosson, The Hurt Locker
Christopher Boyes, Gwendolyn Yates Whittle nominated because of Avatar

The Hurt Locker beated Avatar 5 times!! Up even snagged one little golden naked man from the 10 ft. CGI Cat People.


This little video sums up my feelings regarding the Massive Defeat that Avatar received.
So this year no one fell for the Oscar bait that was Avatar.

Even the Birds have joined my celebration...

Mar 6, 2010

80s and 90s shows adapted into movies should we? Part II

Here's part II of movie adaptations of 80s and 90s TV shows that should or shouldn't be made into a movie.
NOTE: These lists are my opinion if you disagree that's cool. I am not an authority on Remakes, but one thing is certain I just hope that the adaptations don't get ruined beyond recognition like DragonBall Evolution, or Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li.

Now unto part II: The DO's
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers:
Before you start screaming NO! NOT POWER RANGERS! Think about it. I'm talking about a reinventing THE ORIGINAL Power Rangers in movie form. (Yes I know that I'm usually against re-inventing and fixing what's not broken, but... The mish mash of Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger stock footage and the American segments really has to go. Besaides better budget/writing can make the Power Rangers look more awesome than before.
(Before you ask, YES I want the Black Ranger to be black and the Yellow Ranger to be Asian... Zordon chose them that way.)

Charmed:
Though I'm not much of a fan of this show... (I'm more of a Buffy fan) Lost my interest around season 2. Tried to watch it when the Writers pulled out a 4th Sister out of their bums. I mean COME ON!! This will be some girl power movie that the guys will probably see for the T&A.(Hopefully Megan Fox will not be in this...)

This is not Knight Rider:
Ahh yes... This one NEEDS to be in the big screen. It was the most watched TV show of all time (or so they say). Slow-mo running on the beach, red swimsuits, the only bad thing is that it'll probably be David Hasselhoff-less... unless someone finds a way to squeeze in the Hoff in there. (other than executive Producer/advisor/ or whatever) If they ever maek this one... I'd better be prepared cause it smells like they might toss in Jessica Simpson, Megan Fox and other "hot" ladies (mostly untalented) as the lifeguards...

Mr. Belvedere:
Other than to piss off Peter Griffin, I'd like to see this show adapted into a movie... It's another Fish out of water comedy with an English Butler adapting to life with An American Family. If the movie is made; I hope it's more of a family movie with comedic undertones than a self deprecating parody.

He was a cop, and good at his job. But he committed the ultimate sin, and testified against other cops gone bad. Cops that tried to kill him, but got the woman he loved instead. Framed for murder, now he prowls the badlands. An outlaw hunting outlaws, a bounty hunter, a Renegade. That's all I have to say... Another Stephen J. Cannel show in which people are framed for a crime they didn't commit. Now these outlaws are fighting other outlaws.

Don'ts:
The Nanny:
NO ONE Can replace Fran Drescher. Seen various adaptations and it's not the same. I mean a movie adaptation could work, but something in my gut tells me that it will most likely suck.

Blossom:
WHOA! don't get me wrong, Blossom WAS a good show, but I don't feel it would work in the big screen. Unless it's a VERY SPECIAL Blossom movie... (Other than the fantasy sequences in which Blossom recieved advice from Celebrities like ALF...)

Family Matters:
This one is a don't for one reason only: Steven Q. Urkel. If the plot does NOT revolve around Steve Urkel then I'd be more than happy to see a Family Matters movie. (and if they don't forget the existance of Judy Winslow...) I don't want to see 90 minuets of Urkel on the big screen.

Full House:
Warning this show is so sweet and cheesy that it makes the care bears seem like douchebags. Now this is something that we should forget it ever existed... Yes it gave us THE OLSEN TWINS, John Stamos and Dave Coulier's mullets, and Bob Saget... who is a lot funnier on America's Funniest Home Videos. (or his raunchy comedy act... Seeing Danny Tanner spewing all that filth = Priceless.)
Dear John Stamos: in the words of your former castmate Dave Coulier "Cut! it! out!"

Walker Texas Ranger:
No Chuck, No movie... Even With Chuck I still say no movie. This is an ego stroking show for Chuck Norris. I don't need to see more Chuck Norris ego stroking on the Big Screen... (Sidekicks, Delta Force series, Missing in Action?)

There you have it. I did not include Cartoons on this list because I wanted to keep it with Live action (being simpler to adapt.) but I'll just leave you with one cartoon that if Adapted to a movie I'm guessing it'll suck more than a vaccuum: PowerPuff Girls in Live Action.

Mar 5, 2010

80s and 90s shows adapted into movies should we? Part I

We've seen the Live Action Adaptation fever strike Hollywood for a while. Everything seems to be fair game, cartoons like The Flintstones, or Josie and the Pussycats to Sitcoms like Bewitched or The Brady Bunch. Action shows had their adaptations too like Charlie's Angels and Dukes of Hazzard.
Some have been good, others well... they've stunk. There are more Adaptations coming like: The A-Team, The Smurfs, etc. Now I'll give you a couple of lists: Shows from the 80s and 90s that should be adapted into movies and shows that Hollywood should avoid like the plague.

Now for the ones that should be made:
MacGyver:
This show begs to be made into an action/thriller. You've got MacGyver, the special operative who can get in and out of situations using a roll of duct tape, his multi tool and his wits. Explosions, chases, fights, Mac's got them and he can make them happen with things found in his surroundings. A nerdier action hero is always welcome... The ultra macho hero is overused.
Whoever gets the role of MacGyver needs to sport a mullet, cause that and the tape/Swiss Army knife combo make the 3 things that identify MacGyver.
-There must be plenty of MacGyverisms in the movie. (Solving "puzzles" using the crap on his surroundings.)

Magnum P.I.:
This is another show that begs to be made into a movie. Action/Comedy (leaning more towards action because wouldn't want to turn this into a Ben Stiller Meet the ____ movie.) Behind the "beach bum" appearance there is a former Navy Lieutenant Commander. So a balance between the "irresponsible and aloof" beach bum and the "Navy killing machine" sides of Thomas Magnum is what makes him likable.
Whoever plays Magnum needs the Moustache (It's like MacGyver's Mullet, or BA Baracus' Mowhawk) and must wear short Khaki pants an old battered baseball cap (USC or Detroit Tigers) an aloha shirt and puma sneakers (without socks)

Diff'rent Strokes:
Aah! Diff'rent Strokes, the first sitcom in my list. I remember very little from the show besides the famous catchphrase: "Whatchoo talking bout Willis?", That Ms. Garret (the housekeeper) left the Drummond home (spin-off: The Facts of Life), The "Very Special Episode" in which the bicycle shop owner attempted to molest Arnold and his best friend. I do remember something with Arnold and KITT or was it Mr. T? Then again I could've imagined that...
Nope, I did not imagine The Hoff and KITT and I pity the foo' who does not believe in Mr. T!
The movie adaptation would be a reimagining of the earliest episodes mixed in with some Hollywood clich├ęs. They'll probably pick the kid from Role Models as Arnold. I do not know what to expect from the movie, but chances are that I'm gonna see it... (I hope that Wyclef Jean does not sing the theme song...)

Saved by the Bell:
One show that I've seen ALL the episodes various times in various languages... (I want to see an episode in Japanese... If it exsists.) This show is based around the life of a group of High School students and how they survive High School... (or a surreal version of it.) The show tends to break the fourth wall a lot. (Zack Morris is an expert at that.) A horrible continuity, totally unrealistic characters. I can even picture a pseudo-cast right now...
Lucas Till as Zack Morris
Taylor Lautner as AC Slater
Tyler Steelman as Samuel "Screech" Powers
Keke Palmer as Lisa Turtle
Taylor Swift as Jessie Spano
Selena Gomez as Kelly Kapowski
Steve Carell as Mr. Belding
Heck I can even picure some sort of story for this movie...
Probably based on the time when Slater arrives to Bayside... (Freshmen Year)Zack and Slater fight for Kelly's affection. Some silly plot of a douchebag developer wanting to buy Bayside's favorite Student hangout/diner, The MAX and adjacent areas to build an Office Complex or something... (It would be amazing if Dustin Diamond played this role.) So Zack and Slater put their differences aside and help Max gather enough cash to save his diner from the "villain".

Now for the ones that Hollywood must not touch. EVER!!! Got it? Ok:
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air:
Knowing Hollywood they'd make this a more fish out of water for Will (Probably played by Jaden Smith) and a bit more raunchier than the TV show. (Wouldn't be surprised if they make Carlton gay.)

ALF:
I love ALF, seriously I really do. I still have my ALF plushie. What? I like having ALF around, but I don't want to see him in theatres. Mostly because Hollywood will try to make him edgier, wilder, raunchier just to match today's audiences. Also I'm pretty sure that they'll abuse the CG for ALF and somehow he will look fake... (mostly because he's furry. CGI still have some trouble with furry creatures.)

Small Wonder:
Here's the premise of the show: Robotics engineer Ted Lawson creates an android based on a human girl in an effort to assist handicapped children. He takes her home so it can adapt to a family enviroment. The Lawsons try to keep V.I.C.I's Robotic nature a secret and they pass it as their adopted daughter. The Robot lives inside a cabinet in Jamie's room (The Lawson's only child.) In this modern ultra PC world a "slave child" (even if it's an android)is frowned upon.

Punky Brewster:
I can see this one getting made, but I hope not. Unless Soleil Moon Frye plays Punky's mother. and if they include the plot to the episode where Cherie hides inside the Refrigerator. (since that's the episode that most people remember.) I fear for the changes that they would do to the characters (visually and adapting them to the 21st Century, especially on Punky.)

Now the final contender for Part I (That has been mostly 80s... except Fresh Prince)

Who's The Boss?
Who is the Boss? I don't know. All I know is that Angela hired Tony to be her housekeeper (Role Reversal!!) and it should stay in the 80s since the big role reversal thing was already played back then and it is not as shocking now. (They could go the changing race issue... Tony the Italian-American working for an African American or a Latina Angela). But I'm not too fond of race changes in Remakes/Adaptations.

That's it for Part I. Hopefully you'll stick around for Part II and I promise that Sophia Coppola and Andy Garcia will not appear on Part III...

SCIENCE!! Dinos WERE Killed by a Meteor.

Yes it's official now... Similar to the way that Pluto is no longer a planet.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100304/sc_nm/us_dinosaurs_asteroid
There we have it... They have made one of the most popular Dino Killing Theories official...


The Dinos were all hanging out, chilling like Dinosaurs until someone went Safer Sephiroth on them and summoned a Meteor and made the dinos kiss their Jurassic butts goodbye. Now Millions of years later we have a bunch of old people with white coats and weird hairdos pondering if the Dinosaurs really died by Meteor. Which they did and now Dinosaurs are officially dead thanks to a calamity that fell from the skies.

Now we must be aware that it has happened before and it could happen again... but now we are ready... All we have to do is send a bunch of oil rig workers to space and they'll drill a hole in the meteor and save us... We are smarter than Dinosaurs... We have the Internet, we put a man on the moon, we have THE SNUGGIE!! We're far more prepared than the Dinos... Unless the Dinos were far more technologically advanced than us... Nah!

Time is running out... Hercolubus is coming...

I remember something about this Hercolubus... It was 1999 if I'm not mistaken. Big Planet sized Meteor crashing unto Earth, Summoning Beasts hidden beneath the Planet would surface. The planet would go through some changes and that which is not worthy would die and whatever's worhty would live... I swear that I've heard this somewhere before...

Can't put my finger on it... Where have I seen Beasts that come out from the planet a Metoer approaching Earth and cathastrophes happen because of the coming of said Meteor... Towns sinking/quakes destroying cities...













Where's the Final Fantasy VII clip where Mideel is destroyed by the Lifestream/Giant Earthquake in which Cloud and Tifa end up within the Lifestream?
Yes this Hercolubus crap reminds me a lot of Final Fantasy 7. I was waiting this big Meteor to come and Release the Weapons from within the Earth... I wanted to fight the Weapons and save the Planet from Hercolubus, but IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!

Will a Meteor come and destroy us all? Who knows... All I know is that according to a bunch of people in lab coats and funky hairdos Dinosaurs were killed by a Meteor and Pluto is not a Planet...

I miss Pluto being a planet... MVEMJSNUP is not the same without its P.
MVEMJSNUP is Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus (heh heh!) and Pluto. I learned that from Screech.

Mar 3, 2010

Odds and ends: Movie Edition 03/03/10

Neil Patrick Harris is on The Smurfs movie. Yes, you read right... DOOGIE HOWSER is gonna be on the live action Snurfs movie...
http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/03/03/neil-patrick-harris-cast-in-smurfs-the-movie/
Still I don't like the idea of Smurfs in modern world... Hopefully that's a hoax and the Smurfs ARE in their magical Medieval World. (and NPH plays Gargamel.)


Just cause Neil Patrick Harris Harris rides an Unicorn this trailer is worth it...

Wolverine Origins sequel MIGHT start shooting in January. It'll deal with Wolverine's time in Japan...
http://www.empireonline.com/news/feed.asp?NID=27188
After seeing the Abomination that was X-Men Origins Wolverine... Ryan Reynolds STARTED AS A DECENT DEADPOOL... that is until they raped Deadpool.



Now this is WAY MORE DEADPOOL THAN...

The Merc with the SHUT MOUTH!? Deadpool is supposed to talk crap 99.95% of the time...
Geez this turned into a Deadpool rant... OK... If Wolverine sequel gets made here's my prediction: It will suck! If Omega Red is on it: He will suck!

Looks like we'll get a brand new 3 Hour Tour gone wrong...
http://movies.yahoo.com/news/usmovies.accesshollywood.com/gilligans-island-headed-big-screen
Yet another movie adaptation of older TV sticoms... This time it's Gilligan's turn... Don't know what to say... It might be ok or it might suck, we'll just have to paly the waiting game until a cast is announced. Now I'm starting to worry about TV shows that might follow in this trend...
GIMME SOME MACGYVER DAMMIT!!! (Mullet is a must...)

That's pretty much it. Here's hoping that the 500M cliche get's it's blue CGI kitten butt whupped by the Hurt Locker... History is with me on this. Star Wars vs. Annie Hall, E.T. vs Ghandi... I want to see James Cameron's overrated oscar bait movie lose best movie.

Mar 1, 2010

Odds and Ends: 03-01-2010

Stretch Armstrong the movie is really coming...
http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/02/26/taylor-lautner-skips-out-on-max-steel-in-favor-of-stretch-armstrong-rob-letterman-may-direct-stretch/
And Sharkboy/Jacob Black, Taylor Lautner ditched the Max Steel movie... Probably because Hasbro is most likely getting things done, unlike Mattel; who keep dragging their feet with every movie project based on their toys. (Masters of the Universe movie???)
This Stretch Armstrong movie might be directed by the same director from Monsters vs. Aliens (and it might be in 3-D). I'd rather see a Max Steel Movie than a Stretch Armstrong movie, but thanks to Mattel I'm not. (Chances are that we'll get 2 Hot Wheels DTV movies and 3 Barbie movies...)

PS3 has a bug! A y2k inda bug which can screw your save files... Really Sony?
http://tech.yahoo.com/blogs/patterson/65898
I made fun of the Red Ring of Death on the Xbox 360 and this is how you repay me?
Well the bug only affects the "Chubby" PS3... If you have a slim you're safe. Still this sucks and hopefully Sony will release a patch to fix this... (Now if they could figure out how to emulate PS2 and PS1 games again...)

This chimp reminds me of someone...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100226/od_nm/us_russia_monkey_odd

Chimp's in REHAB!? What's next Cat going to the Phychiatrist? Good grief! Wait, my neighbor's dog lost his iPhone... I'll go help him find it...

Bear Grylls is back with a new show...
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/01/15/bear-grylls-worst-case-scenario-discovery/
He has already shown us what to do to survive in extreme conditions in which we couldn't last a day without the proper tools and knowledge.* Now he's gonna show us what to do tu survive in situations closer to home... (No more shipwrecked on Hawaii or diving from an airplaine in Texas.) He now is going to:
Fight a Shark, Escape a burning Building, escape from a sinking car, etc. Finally some stuff that might be useful in real life.

*=More or less what he says on the MvW intro. I'm not going to go into the arguement: Fake vs Real, because that could be the topic of a new rant.