May 9, 2017

December 18, 2019... He-Man will hit Theatres...

That's right, SONY has finally gotten a Date for the MOTU Movie... didn't I rant about this a few days back? Yes, yes I did... I am bringing this up again, because I HAVE TO BE NEGATIVE ABOUT THIS...
I mean, I already mentioned that they only have a date and a semi-Competent writer on the project. No director, no cast, nothing. Remember when John Woo was supposedly doing this? Well, He-Man's been in Development Hell since the 2002 MYP Series was around. So, 15 years in Dev-Hell went from WB to SONY, now no Director and you can see WHY I'm a bit underwhelmed...
So, will the movie make this so-called deadline?

 So, yeah, it seems that this is all a stunt to retain the rights... At BEST we'd get an ASHCAN Copy of a movie, like it happened to the BEST Fantastic Four Movie. At worse, the rights get passed along and we don't get an abomination.

IF we get something for that date it will be ABSOLUTE CRAP!! IF we're lucky, we get Nicolas Cage as Keldor/Skeletor... Think about it and you'll see some genius to my madness...
washed out has-been, used to doing crappy movies (some include using a CGI Skull for his face), he can chew scenery and ham it up far more than Raul Julia did in Street Fighter...

Any excuse to roll the Nic Cage Montage:

Now since the final product will be a turd to keep the rights, we might as well have some insane fun with it. Cage will deliver unintended hilarity to the movie.

The Rock as He-Man... I know it's an out there choice, but think about it... We can't bring in the Hemsworth brothers for this Ashcan Copy, but using the Great One as He-Man is a great idea... It'll make people excited, because The Rock... True hardcore fans will hate it because The Rock is synonymous with Remakes... Seriously, between bad movies, Fast and Furious movies, AND REMAKES, all you have left is a Part-Time Wrestler...

If The Rock could pull this off, MOTU will be a cakewalk for him. (and if it actually makes it to theaters, then he WILL put asses on the seats... all those straight women and gay men wanting to see The Rock run around in a Loincloth will no longer need

those ten seconds from The Mummy Returns... (He wears pants on The Scorpion King)
Not to mention that He could pull off the Adam thing quite easily...

What I'm trying to get to is that unless this movie is made as a hyper tongue in cheek parody of the property, we won't get anything REAL for that date... Also, December 2019? Can you say Episode IX raping MOTU?


I have no hopes of this actually happening any time soon... I want to be pleasantly surprised, BUT all signs are pointing to a turd bigger than Nepthu...

If the Springtime for Hitler clip gives you a hint of what I'm trying to say is that we're getting one hell of a flop... I'd make a Ghostbusters 2016 joke, but that horse has been beaten to death far too much!

Right now, all I want is for this movie idea to die down, for Mattel to make a brand new cartoon series appealing to both KIDS AND ADULTS (No Teen Titans Go! stuff, but a more Batman: the Brave and The Bold kind of thing) and THEN focus on a movie.




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