Feb 25, 2018

Woody Woodpecker the movie. Did this get a theatrical release?

It seems that it didn't get a release in the US. Mostly in Central and South America.
It went straight to DVD in the US... Which I don't blame them, since the biggest name is a Bryan Flynn (of Super7) Look-Alike that apparently appeared on Xena.
Wait... We have a dude that happens to be the Voice of Flipshot, Shtratosh, Dr. Wily, Protons, Rattrap, and Ken Masters in the awful Street Fighter series.

One good thing I can say about the movie:
Woody Woodpecker is voiced by AN ACTUAL VOICE ACTOR and not a washed up celebrity trying to cash in on his hits from the 80s... Not saying any names but he rhymes with Dan Aykroyd... Oops!

Everything else about the movie is a steaming pile of...

Let's be fair here... Before I call the movie absolute crap let me describe it for you.
Hyper summarized, cause I'd rather keep my sanity and not rewatch that steaming pile of feces.

Beardo McDoucheo played by the dude who kinda looks like Bryan Flynn. He loses his job and decides to turn an inheritance into a money maker to bounce back and take his revenge on his former employer. His plans hit a hurdle, when he's forced to take his estranged son along, which bothers the much younger fiancee (who is so relevant to the story that vanishes 1/4 into the movie).
He tries to build a house in Woody's habitat and we get the standard children's movie slapstick. Some poachers get involved and the kid befriended the woodpecker. When they finally make peace, Woody accidentally burns their house prompting Beardo McDoucheo to rehire the poachers. Woody is captured, the kid tries to save him and gets captured. Beardo tries to save Woody and gets captured as well. He finds a way to free Woody who engages the villains until they surrender to the police.
Beardo apologized to Woody and gave him a peace offering, which Woody accepts and accidentally destroys.
The End...

There are a couple of bird poop jokes and the movie is predictable as hell. The bad taste it left in my mouth made me forget about Fullmetal Alchemist. But on the other hand, it made Yogi Bear feel like a Masterpiece (Dan Aykroyd and his phoned in performance aside)

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