Because I ain't getting a Resident Evil Alice if she were made. I hate that Character with a Passion. To be honest I'm still not sure why did I get this Alice. Okay, you got me. I was planning to make an eat me joke with the little cookie that said eat me. Sadly the final product doesn't say eat me, it's blank. So I'm stuck with an Allison Wonderland figure that doesn't go with anything else. Nefty-kun is getting a little stepsister... mainly to make the obvious stylistic differences between my crappy custom and an official figure be acceptable. She couldn't be his little sister because he's a crappy custom figure and not an official product while she's an official action figure. It makes sense better in my head. Also, she could be considered the girl version of my assistant Spike...
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| Nefty-kun: Once I take enough pics, I can review this Alice Statue for my website: Nefty's Ranthouse. Nefty-kun's Dad VO: Junior! Aurora and your sister are here! Quit being an antisocial freak who plays with himself to cartoons and get down here! Nefty-kun: COMING, DAD! Nefty's Dad VO: That coming better be spelled with an O and one M and not with an u and two Ms... Nefty-kun: First, Eww! Second, don't let Alicia enter my room. I don't like it when she messes around with my stuff. Nefty's Dad: Just get down here, the Pizza's getting cold! Nefty-kun: On my way! Nefty's Dad: Don't slide down the handrail! |
So, who is Alice... a child with an overactive imagination who falls down a hole and ends up in a land where everything is tripping balls. She's based on a little girl that the Author of Alice may or may have not been attracted to.
I had to touch upon some of the Lewis Caroll Controversy because it's unavoidable. But like Chris Benoit, I'm separating the man from his work. This isn't about Caroll and his potential Hal Jordan Tendencies. This is about Disney's adaptation of Alice, made as an action figure by Super7.
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| Nefty-kun VO: This is Alicia, she's the daughter of my Dad's new wife, Aurora. I only saw her the weekends that I stayed with my Dad... well, until Mom, you know, passed. Ever since then, Alicia's been a pain in my ass. Don't let her appearance fool you. She's actually older than me by a few months. Her 18th Birthday was last week and her Mom took her for a Spa day today. She looks a lot younger because she has Highlander Syndrome. Yes, the syndrome is named after the Christophe Lambert movie. She's obsessed with Alice in Wonderland. She also likes to bust my balls, metaphorically speaking. Nefty-kun: Wait, is that a Dina Plushie? Alicia: Yup! BTW, where's my Birthday Present, onii-chan? Nefty-kun VO: It has begun... better get a couple of slices then back to my room, before the azure clad demon begins to torture me... |
Articulation
She actually has a decent range of articulation. The only areas where it is hindered are:
On her knees due to the sculpting of her bloomers not letting her Bend her knees.
Her waist and underboob articulation are hindered by the soft goods apron. She's able to pull off most Alice poses.
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| Nefty-kun: Alicia, where is my Alice Statue? I need it for a review. Alicia: There is no Alice here, only Alicia... I can be your statue or your cast-off doll... onii-chan! Nefty-kun: Alicia, that's not funny. Just gimme back my statue! Alicia: Everyone knows that in this house if it's about Alice in Wonderland, it's automatically mine... Nefty-kun: I spent months working hard to get the money for that statue... there's now way I- Alicia: DADDY! NEFTY DOESN'T WANT TO GIVE ME HIS ALOCE IN WONDERLAND STATUE! Nefty's Dad: SON YOU KNOW THE RULE... THAT STATUE IS HERS... Nefty-kun: Then you owe me $575 plus shipping and taxes... Nefty's Dad: Licia, my cutie pie, give Nefty back his statue... *crash* Alicia: What Statue? Nefty: Goddammit! 5 months of after school odd jobs down the drain... Two more months until college... two months and I'm out of here. No more tolerating Aurora trying to replace my Mom. No more bitching from Dad, because I'm not some Basketball player... but especially NO MORE BLONDE DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS! Alicia: You know you love me too much to leave... Nefty-kun: Ha! Once September hits. I'LL BE GETTING AWAY FROM YOU FASTER THAN THE WHITE RABBIT! Alice: Well, He-Man's gay! Nefty-kun: His 2002 Voice actor is gay and while we're at it, make like the WWE and get the F out of ny room! |
Paint and sculpt
The sculpt captures the essence of Alice pretty well. The expressiveness of the various heads help sell the Alice look. The soft good skirt and apron are really well done they flow properly and have enough weight to look decent at this scale. Her underskirt has a bendy wire which allows for some posing.
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| ○the following day○ Nefty-kun VO: Finally, some peace and quiet. Let me lock the door so I can watch Ai Shimai in peace... *knock* Nefty-kun: Now's not a good time. Alicia: Look, I'm sorry about the statue. I came to apologize and I jave a small peace offering. It's not much, compared to the damage I've caused, but I actually Baked cookies and I want you to have the first one. I *WILL* pay you back the $600 for the statue I broke. It's just that I don't want you to go! You're my Big Brother, even if I'm older than you. You've been my knight in shining armor against the bullies. I- Nefty-kun: Free cookie? I'm coming! Alicia: Your coming better be spelled with an U and a double M and not with an O and a single M... Nefty-kun: First, Eww! Second, what I do in the privacy of my room, is my business. Alicia: Take my cookie and eat it! Nefty-kun: Isn't the cookie supposed to say "Eat Me"? Alicia: Oh Stepbro! What would our parents think if I ate you- Nefty-kun: NOT REMOTELY WHAT I MEANT! Also, why are you walking to my bed? Alicia: Are you going to watch some hen ties? Can I stay? Unless it's one if those creepy octopus ones. I DON'T LIKE THOSE!! Nefty-kun: Licia, no. You can't stay and watch this with me. Alicia: PLEAAAAAAAASE? I'll do anything for you! Nefty-kun: But you won't do that... |
Accessories
She has 2 extra heads
Dina her cat
Glasses Bird
4 extra hands one of them has the eat me cookie
Drink me bottle
Tiny Alice that looks like an alice statue since it has a stand base.
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| Alicia: I'll even drink the contents of your Rainbow Dash jar! Nefty-kun: Please don't touch the Rainbow Dash jar... Alicia: True, this might be older milk. I'd rather drink it from the source... Nefty-kun: Licia, please stop. This behav- Alicia: You're leaving and breaking our promise... Nefty-kun: Our Promise? Alicia: Yeah, after your Mom died. You were understandably upset and it took me a lot of work to somewhat cheer you up. Do you remember? Nefty-kun: I-I do. You stayed with me day and night and missed school for a week. You lent me your shoulder to cry on as I purged the grief. Alicia: Do you remember the promise? Nefty-kun: You said: "I can't be your Mom or an actual sister, because our fates aren't bound by blood. But that doesn't stop me from giving you my heart and soul." You took a sharpie and- Alicia: I drew a ring on your finger. "With this ring, I thee wed." Nefty-kun: That was like 10 years ago and you made me play house to distract me... Alicia: Actually 11 years, 2 days and 74 minutes. You, Nefty are my everything. I wasn't playing that day. Nefty-kun: Alicia, those feelings are wrong, you must be confused... Alicia: Says the guy with a siscon collection... Nefty-kun: Yeah, that's fantasy, make believe. What you're proposing is REAL. You know I'm dating Barbara... Alicia: That cow with the massive udders!? Nefty-kun: she's barely a B-cup Alicia: I see... you hate me because I'm flat, or is it because of my condition. Nefty-kun: I don't hate hate you. It's just that you behave like a massive b-bad person and bust my balls too much... NOT REMOTELY WHAT I MEANT! Alicia: OK Waller... Nefty-kun: But, when you aren't a pain in the ass, you're one of the sweetest, caring, and most loyal individuals in the universe. If it wasn't for your condition, you'd have too many dudes for me to stave off. Hell, Ive had to bear up a few guys who wanted to get close to you with evil intent. Alicia: Evil intent? Nefty-kun: Guys that would be offered a seat by Chris Hansen. Alicia: Stupid Highlander Syndrome... |
To be honest, I'm disappointed that they eat me Cookie doesn't say eat me and the drink me bottle doesn't say drink me. I know that this can be done at this scale since I remember when Mattel made The Mighty Sphincter (cue butthurt Sphincter Uncreative) and they hid SEX on his wrist. (Allegedly the SEX in Spector means SDN as in Scott D. Neitlich. I want to believe the D stands for Dick, but it's probably for something lame like Daniel, Dennis, or Doug... sorry to the non-toyguru people who have any of those names... also sorry to all the Dougs for me using the shitty Doug theme instead of the good one.) I bet Toyguru probably complained about the lack of a Huge Alice stuck inside the White Rabbit's house.
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| This plus Normal Alice and Tiny Alice for $55 would be a steal and unrealistic. But Toyguru would bitch about that. |
Overall
Alice gets a $$$ as her final score. The Articulation being blocked by the apron doesn't really bother me as much as I thoughtm what bothers me the most is the Cookie thing and that she can't truly crawl, since she can't kneel... before Zod. You know that I can't say KNEEL without saying before Zod. Also. I REALIZED SOMETHING: Alice is almost the same size as Irma. (Alice is a smidge shorter, but not by much)
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| Alicia: I need an adult. April: I am an adult... Mike VO: YURI! YURI! YURI! Nefty-kun VO: I hope you're asking for a Russian talk show host and aren't implying that you'd like to see April have her way with my kid stepsister... Mike VO: Wait, she's your kid stepsister!? Gosh, sorry, dude... I didn't know. Does she get stuck a lot... Nefty VO: Actually she does manage to get tangled upp in weird situations where she ends up needing me to help her out... NOT REMOTELY WHAT I MEANT! She just looks like a kid, she's older than me though... Mike VO: Hey baby, I can be your Juan Shanchez Villalobosh Ramiresh... Alicia: A Highlander Reference... if I had a nickel for all the times someone has hit on me with a Highlander reference, I'd have two nickels. It's not much, but it's curious enough to have happened twice. |
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| Alicia: E-earth-quaa-aake! Nefty-kun: That's a vibrating throne Barbara likes it a bit too much... Alicia: I-I-I L-like i-i-it!! O-oh! M-mmm! Nefty-kun: Get Off! Get off! Alicia: A-a-almost th-there! Nefty-kun: NOT REMOTELY WHAT I MEANT!! Alicia: I-I-I m-meant too t-tall! H-help m-me! Ste-e-ep bro-o! I-I'm- Nefty: stuck... Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got myself in that situation. Hal Jordan VO: I'll save her. This is a job for Green Lant-wait! Blonde, Underage looking... I don't want to take a seat with Hansen again. |
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