Cinemasins does MOTU

 This is technically not a rant just letting y'all know.

But fuck it, I still love the movie.

Since Cinemasins didn't have the OG, have some Nostalgia Critic

Apparently Kyle (the one who hates Pizzaface) was among the fired Super7 employees

 I am not here to gloat at the misfortune of my nemesis. In fact, I am hear to mourn this loss. Because, this may mean that Super7 might have even LESS of a plan with the lines now. Remember the Disaster that Mattycollector was when the disgruntled employee whose name rhymes with Spot Leitnich abandoned Mattycollector. DCUC collectors remember Fangirl 2.0 not so fondly. Me? I remember the King Hssss screwjob quite well. 

This may mean that a Certain Advent Calendar item might be my only chance to get a certain character. Not saying any names, but it's Pizzaface.

But knowing the Universe and how it hates me, it could mean something far worse. So that won't stop me from making wishlists... not because some have been prewritten and set out to release on a timely basis, but out of being already written and set out to be released in a timely manner with outdated info. 

I hope he can bounce back and get a job somewhere else. 

Also, I hope that this doesn't mean the end for Ultimates!

There's PLENTY of TMNT, D&D, Silverhawks, Musical artists, and other brands to do.

Apparently, Super7 had to do some layoffs due to tariffs.

 Damn, that sucks for the employees who got laid off. This is a rather depressing story. I hope that those employees laid off can bounce back rather quickly, so their families can ensure food on their tables.

I am rather disappointed on people who are celebrating this. I get it, Super7 product is overpriced, QC is hit or miss, The delays are insane, the excuses to justify their status are way over the top... I get it. Toss in the weird shipping prices issues to Puerto Rico and their sudden refusal to allow PayPal pay in 4 to the mix. But all the complaints and blunders doesn't justify celebrating people getting fired. Today is Super7 tomorrow it could be you, or me, or someone close to you, or someone close to me.

My biggest fear is that other smaller toy companies may feel the pressure. Syndicate, NECA, Nacelle, The Loyal Subjects, etc. 

I know that words of encouragement are pointless when people are going through bad situations, but once again, I hope the laid off folks can recover so they can keep their families afloat. 

The Future of the House of Rants

 I guess that I'll finally end the backlog of toys I've bought but not reviewed... I may have to cancel various preorders. Movie reviews might have to wait until streaming. Videogames might have to take a step back because they're expensive and not that many. I mean the last game I got is Final Fantasy VI! 

To be fair, it's been nearly 16 years for a tiny blog with 17-20 readers. Most blogs barely last a year. It's been one hell of a ride. I will try to reach December 31st, mainly because I've got the Advent Calendar almost done. 

If things get better, we may follow close to normal. If they Don't, then unless I leave this mortal coil. August 19, 2026 might be the Last Entry.

This is not the first time I've considered quitting. Mom's death didn't help things. I just didn't think that I would be forced to shut the blog due to politics. I wanted the end to be due to my death... but let's not be all doom and gloom. When I bitch about being phased out of Super7,  NECA, and Jada, that's when you'll know Armageddon reached the House of Rants. 

Mother's Day Blues

 The worst part of being motherless in Mother's Day is not the bombardment of Stores trying to make you buy stuff for Mother's Day. It's dealing with the fact that I'm never seeing my Mom ever again for as long as I live.

Fuck! I miss my Mom so fucking much! The pain is always there but it flares up on Mother's Day, her deathday and her birthday. Not even drowning my sorrows in alcohol has helped. Why can't the pain go away? I can't let go of the pain, because it's all I have. What kind of son forgets his Mother's voice, her scent, what she looked like.  

My heart yearns for One Day... to Fulfill a childish fantasy. To have closure... I KNOW that it's impossible, but that's what the heart yearns for.

Odds and ends May 1st 2023: All my grandparents are gone

 My mom's mom passed away this weekend and I found out about it yesterday. I'm not sad or anything. It should bother me that I didn't feel a thing. I mean it's not like I harbored a grudge against her because she stole my vintage MOTU toys to "donate them to Charity" and was always eying my collections. Or how she always fought with my mom and aunt, who were the ones left to clean up her messes. Literally, my aunt told me, "Nefty, you know your grandma, she's dead." My reaction was literally: 

I know it makes me sound insensitive. Thing is she always wanted to live free as a bird. But her freedom came with a price. Mental scarring done to others. Mental scarring that was passed unto me. Now I'm dealing with the sins of the mother and the sins of the grandmother in addition to MY sins. I should be angry with her, but she's dead, so what's the point? In any case, may she rest in peace.

X-Men 97's Latest episode had an Amazing Cameo. No the cameo was Spectacular. Maybe I should say it was a Friendly Neighborhood cameo. 

The episode was really cool, dealing with the Aftermath of Genosha. Nightcrawler fights with his swords and it was AWESOME! But I bet the rumblings for a continuation to Spider-Man TAS will begin to become loud.  

Keeping the Spider-Man theme going, on May 14th, it's going to be Webbing time! This means that I might have to review it and do a play by play... as penance for Rebel moo 2: Mr. Crocker's Boogaloo. 

Random thoughts: Jan 2024

 New year, new me is bullshit... I'm just me, one day closer to death... older, slower, unhealthier... but that's the way it should be as immortality would be a curse. Think about it. The only people who wish for immortality are either naive, or have a desire to punish themselves... random, not exactly deep, but I gotta rant about something.

Been playing FF8, as you may already know. Now I remember why i didn't replay this game as much as Xenogears or FF7... without GameShark. Fucking Junction System... I'm close to what should be the end of Disc 1... of my memory doesn't fail me.  

Snarf is shipping... Probably I'll save the Snarf for the Advent Calendar as I have a few Super7 figures I haven't reviewed... Assuming I make an advent Calendar this year...

Glimmer and Bow are supposedly coming to Masterverse. Guess I'll have to buy them and also get fodder for a Masterverse Nefty-kun. Starting with a new head since MOTUC heads are too big for Masterverse bodies. 

PIZZAFACE is my most wanted non-core TMNT Character. But I'm not here to talk PF... Krang's Android Body is what I want to talk about. There's a reasonable possibility that there won't an ultimates release. That's one rumor going on that the Cyberthingie with 5 poa and I HOPE this rumor is bullshit, but with Playmates being, well, PLAYMATES... I wouldn't be surprised. But there is a way to get an Android Body, but vintage purists will bitch and moan like they did with Rat King. Shredder's Revenge might be our only chance at an Ultimates Krang's Android Body.

Depression sucks. I'm not saying it as a "pity me" kind of thing. It's just stating the obvious because lately I've been feeling it more than normal and I feel like I'm quarterassing everything. Like sometimes, just getting up takes such a tremendous effort. I'm lucky that I've not had intrusive thoughts, but others aren't as fortunate. Will I ever be cured? I dunno, but I'm trying to get better, to be better. It's hard, you know? I've been withdrawing myself a bit too much. I know it's not the best solution, but I'm just tired... from an emotional and mental perspective. Sadly, I won't be able to see my therapist for quite some time. 

But, That's something I have to deal with. In the meantime, all I can say is: seeking help for your mental health is not a sign of weakness... we're not invulnerable. So, if you're dealing with deptession on your own, stop. Get help. If you're religious, you can also benefit from spiritual counseling as well as medical help.

Now that I finished my unintentional PSA, I've been thinking... Super7 has made figures from some famous musical artists... well, here's the top 10 musical artists I'd like then to tackle that 

Are not Vanilla Ice in ULTIMATES!:

-Miley Cyrus: you know this was an obvious choice... I want 2 Mileys: Teen Miley (Party in the USA specifically) Adult Miley (Wrecking Ball) the only way I'd take a third Miley is obviously Hannah Montana.

-Eminem: Slim Shady Era preferably.

-Boy George: COME ON! Don't tell me that a 1989s version of Boy George figure wouldn't look awesome as a figure...

-Prince: We NEED him... not only he would look cool, BUT another Ultimates line NEEDS Prince.

-Dolly Parton: I have two reasons for addong her to the list and no, they aren't left boob and right boob. Mainly Miley and My Mom liked Dolly Parton.

-Freddie Mercury: Another "for the honor of Mom" figure. My Mom LOVED Highlander and its soundtrack was played heavily at home. 

-Michael Jackson: I know the figuarts Michael is awesome, but I want an Ultimates scaled Michael... preferably the Smooth Criminal Michael. Mainly a reference to the videogame.

-Snoop Dogg... I don't need to explain my 420 reasons to have Snoop in ultimates. I'm almost tempted to suggest Willie Nelson...

-Frank Sinatra: I just want a Frank Sinatra figure to give him a McFarlane Tommy Gun for reasons... Or for Christmas displays... but mostly Christmas displays.

-MC Hammer: What? Were you expecting Billy Ray Cyrus? (Don't answer that)

Sadly, I can't ask for Elvis because he's NECA's property... Neither Elton John.

Nefty's fanfic corner

 Now if I fully understood how to do this, I'd add a cute little page showcasing The Neftyverse affiliated Links... and I ain't talking about Mr. EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS!!

But since I'm an idiot and not a professional this is how it will go:

Nefty's fanfic corner: Home of the Neftyverse mythos and more.

Since I will be dealing with fanfiction I have to set an adult content warning. This is a preemptive measures in some fanfics have adult content and I'm just covering my ass to avoid the wrath of blogger and Google.

The blog is Bare Bones right now but I'll be working on it while keeping the house of rants active. There is a small trigger warning, I won't be updating that blog as often due to the nature of it. Renting is a lot easier than writing fanfic or reviewing fanfic, so those posts will take longer. Also it's going to be an alternative in order for me to avoid suffering from burnout. In other words I'm going to be mimicking George RR Martin.

My original plan was to make a Blog about hentai, where I would discuss some of my favorite hentai, review more adult toys, but since blogger/google are being a bit sensitive about adult content that is on hold...

Update: Chapter 1 of the first fic has been released! 

Snake Mountain won't be coming out of the toy chest any time soon.

 I finally got the courage to open Snake Mountain. I wasn't ready. I spent mearly 90 minutes crying as I pulled off each piece of tape and opening up each box. It felt like a freaking Russian Nesting Doll. Tears stung like acid. Head was pounding. Heart was being stabbed with thousands of sorrow daggers. I realized I didn't have the space to fully open it, so I assembled what I could before closing it up again. I think I'll review it in 2024 for Halloween once I get used to seeing it without crying. Seeing it outside the box is far more painful than I thought. At least when it was on the shipping box, I could ignore that brown cube. Now with Snake Mountain revealed. All I feel is pain. A grim reminder that Mom is gone and I'll never see her again. Hell? Tonight will be 8 years of it... 

Right now I'm not in the mood to review Snake Mountain. At least not without crying and I have a splitting headache right now due to the crying. 

Knowing that I have this because she's dead is not pleasant. I shouldn't dwell in the past and in the pain, but that's all I have. No matter how much I try to put up a happy face, the sorrow is consuming me from the inside. But there ain't  no gettin' offa' dis traine we're on! Life goes on despite my pain and sorrow 

Holy crap! It's been 14 years!?

 This blog is 14 years old... Next year I could have the Nefty's House of Rants Quinceañera Bash! It's been a long ride, there have been highs, there have been lows, there have been even lower lows. But as my life falls down into a terrible rut, due to depression and other personal demons, I'm still here. Trying to carve a bit of a name for myself, so when I am no longer flesh, I am not forgotten...

I never thought I'd reach the 10 year mark, much less the 14th... Wonder if I can reach 18... that way my blog will be legal. My dream right now is getting enough notoriety for some Rule 34... sadly my 19 loyal readers aren't enough for me to get some rule 34. 

I was considering getting into vtubing but logistics and unreliable electric power and internet in Puerto Rico makes the whole vtubing thing a fool's dream. Especially the voice changer and my outdated tech. Not to mention the investment on model rigging, etc. So, having a Neffie-chan saying things like Boku wa kawaii desune! Or Yamete onii-chan! Kimi wa sukebe desu! I almost forgot a fan favorite: Omae wa mou shindairu! Because everyone knows that vtubers are 40 year old men with a voice changer dayo! 

My NES library is too small to stream games or even do video Reviews. Y'all know I tried that for a while, but it was too much of a hassle. Even tool assisted playthroughs can be a bitch...

Not going to say any names but TMNT1 After the damned dam! 

Due to adult responsibilities, my toy intake has greatly reduced and it seems that my Super7 toy collectong is about to become a 1 line thing, the line being TMNT. I'm returning to 2014 ML collecting. I will be slowing down on pretty much everything that isn't TMNTU or Street Fighter. 

On the gaming side, I'm just about to quit gaming. Responsibilities have stopped me plenty of times from getting a PS5 or a Series X. Ibarely have time to game anymore. My depression isn't helping much either. I've lost most of my joie de vivre. I'm scared... it's not death who I fear, but oblivion... I know I shouldn't be moody, I should be celebrating, but sometimes I feel like I have been wasting my time. Sone of my high school classmates are parents of COLLEGE STUDENTS!! In a few years they might be grandparents and I'm worried about a Super Shredder figure or Darkstalkers 4.

Ever since Mom died I've been trying to heal and find normalcy. But all I feel is an empty hole in my chest. Intrusive thoughts cpnstantly creeping in. It's terrifying. Incredibly enough, it's y'all 19-ish readers who keep me going and help me push away the darkness. For that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You folks are a glimmer (not to be confused with Glimmer) in my darkness and for that I thank you. I wonder what should I do for the Quinceañera Bash... Or when the blog becomes legal... or in 2030 when the blog will be fully legal and allowed to drink.  I'm not freaking out but I totally am freaking out! Happy Birthday blog! 

In any case let's keep on going! I don't know what the future will bring, but let's a go!

Just reread the let's a go! In a bad Charles Martinet Mario impression.

Another year, another Christmas

 There has been a lack of holiday cheer for me this season. Real Life™ has been a bitch this year. Advent Calendar was done in time aside the Christmas reveal... I was unable to get Santa from the Naughty or Nice collection on time for the Holidays. I don't think it's a "Me" thing. I mean there's no Holiday cheer in the air. In a street with 30-ish houses only 3 had holiday decorations. Most stores had very little of Christmas decorations on display. They had tons for sale though. Radio barely played any Christmas music... I had to Manually search for "All I want for Christmas is you" and "Feliz Navidad" in order to listen to them. Only once I heard Jingle Bells. That's messed up!

It's a recipe for disaster if one is going through depression and loneliness. To say that I feel like shit is putting it lightly. "Be grateful, appreciate what you have in life, go to work so you don't feel alone." sounds easy but it isn't. Not everyone works Christmas eve and on Christmas... OK, I do, but that's not the point. The point is that all that advice makes sense, but it doesn't work... it's like we KNOW what has to happen, but knowing it is not enough. It's fighting against the darkness wothin what becomes super hard. External factors can also be a hindrance.

Despite me feeling like shit at an emotional level, not having the holiday cheery feeling needed to survive this time of the year; I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and any other Holiday that I might be forgetting at the moment.

If you know someone who is not well at this time of the year due to issues, check up on them. I think a call,a text, something just to let them know that you're there for them. They might need it.

Tommy!? What's wrong? Tommy! Tommyyyyyyyy!

 I just woke up to take a dump when I saw some horrible news up on my Facebook Feed.

Jason David Frank Solo'd Task Force X.

Yes, THAT Jason David Frank...

 I don't know what to say, I mean, aside the obvious condolences to friends, family, and fellow Power Rangers, what can I say? Depression sucks? Yeah it does and I know this too well, because I struggle with it... My greatest fear is reaching a point where Soloing Task Force X sounds reasonable. I don't know JDF's struggles, but he must have been struggling for quite some time if he did what he did. It's a shame that he wasn't able to get the help he needed.

It's kinda hard to seek help when you're severely depressed, but you should do it because YOU matter. If by any chance you feel like you might permanently solve a temporary problem, contact your local suicide prevention hotline. Self-Termination is NEVER the solution.

This is not a joke or my standard type of rant woth my traditional immature humor. That's because this is a VERY Serious matter. If you're struggling with depression, PLEASE seek help.

Got laid off yesterday night...

 This basically means that after this year's Advent Calendar, the It Came from the Toy Chest will be hit a bit harder until I can refocus my life and figure out where to go from here. Let me clarify, my main job is safe... the one that makes sure my utility bills, car payments, and Groceries is safe. The Part-Time job that allowed me to hit movie theaters, bowling alleys, get videogames and action figures to review, and eat more takeout... that one was hit yesterday. 

I also need to consider if getting a support part-time job again is worth it, since juggling both jobs was causing me issues related to lack of sleep. So, my choices are: less money vs more time to rest and even exercise, or more money vs less free time to rest... if I want to explain it in the most simple terms. I'm guessing that I'm gonna need to trim the fat, ie, streaming services by going to the lowest tier available or cutting the cord all over again.

I know that every few years, I mentioned that this was becoming a real possibility, but I didn't expect it to happen until the end of the Holiday Season. It's scary... I'm terrified because my routine has been flipped turned upside down. I'm angry, disillusioned, and still reeling in from the shock. I'm not exactly in the best state of mind to make a pragmatic decision.

I know how this manager felt when he made his final announcement. The worst part is that despite knowing for years that this could happen at any time, it came as a shock, since the store was receiving merchandise, all the way up until recently. Hell, last Thursday, HR was talking about this year's Halloween contest, which I was going to compete as Chris Griffin. But SURPRISE!! I got in yesterday and was hit by the wrecking ball that they were closing on that day, no clearance sale, nothing.

A wise man once said: 

"You gotta understand, there ain’t no getting offa this train we on till we get to the end of the line.”

I... I think I do. I had plenty of times to jump ship, but I didn't. Probably due to my warped sense of Loyalty and Honor. They gave me a hand, when I was at my worst. I felt Honorbound to stay with them until the end. I know that this may sound strange or even dumb to some. That's how I roll. A part of me knew that I COULDN'T QUIT!! And in a way, I'm thankful for that. I spent quite some time gaining experience, learning. I think, no, I KNOW I'm going to miss them... even the few not so nice folks.

Due to Hurricane Fiona The House of rants might be offline for a little while.

Mostly due to failures on the power grid. I had a few rants that were incomplete, but due to the situation, I cannot post them. While it isn't as bad as Hurricane Maria, the new people in charge of Electric Power in Puerto Rico make Rocksteady and Bebop seem competent. I'll stay safe and won't do anything TOO stupid. Also, here's the theme song of my local politicians:

Hopefully I'll be back in a day or twoooo!!

13 years... The House of Rants is 13 years old...

 Most blogs die by the 33rd month... I have that beat for 10 years... I literally spent my 30s blogging. I started in my late 20s and now I'm in my 40s... I-I-I can't believe it... I stuck to this and somehow managed to beat the 10 year mark... How is it possible!?

The answer is simple: it's not about the money. Sure, getting my first paycheck after 13 years would be awesome, not gonna lie. It's a bonus... besides, I'll probably be dead by the time I reach the second Paycheck from blogging... and George RR Martin will still be readying The Winds of Winter... or dead and someone else would be carrying on his duties. The reason I blog is to vent about some stuff... whether I love it or not is irrelevant.it just needs to draw my attention. I have to admit that Real Life™ has gotten in the way of my posting. Sometimes it almost feels like a chore... *cough cough* Advent Calendar *cough cough* I've felt a bit of burnout at times. Mostly due to Real Life™ issues. I'm working on some of those right now. 

Thing is that as I'm now in my 40s and dealing with a lot of stuff on my plate and the global situations have me questioning myself. Getting bent out of shape due to toys, movies, or videogames; is it really worth it? Some might say that I should "ease up" on the angry reactions, but this issue also happens with positive posts as well. But it's not just the blog related stuff... I'm losing interest in things I enjoy. Currently dealing with a Medical Professional, because I have to make sure it's  depression, stress, anxiety, insomnia related, or not.

While it has been hard at times... venting here has actually helped me with my struggles. It gave me a sense of normalcy when my life got flipped turned upside down... and I TRULY agreed with the Elric brothers and their boneheaded decision. I want to believe that writing on this blog has given me a BIT of clarity and in a way protected my sanity. 

I honestly don't know what the future will bring... but so far, I want to keep on going, not just for my loyal 20 readers, but for myself... maybe one day before 2040 I'll be able to reach the legendary First Paycheck achievement from Blogger or Google... hell, I have no idea who would be the one paying me for all of this...

It's been one hell of a ride... but we're not here to hear me mope about my Real Life™ issues. Let's talk about something else!

Evolution of Board games: a rant

Board games have to adapt and evolve... for example, The Game of Life is completely different. The 60s version is not the same as the 70s/80s (the main difference between 70s vs 80s was dollar values.) Then the 90s version added some different gameplay elements and so did the 2000s and 2010s. My issue is that since I never saved the late 80s Game of Life I had as a kid, I'm now SOL and can't play the Game of Life as I knew it... so, what I'm going to suggest is a Special "Deluxe" collector's edition of The Game of Life, that while not a 100% Accurate representation of the board and game piece to the era, it has all the stuff required to play the game from each era... you get the "60s board" and accessories, you get the "70s-80s board" with its era accessories, the "90s version" with its era appropriate accessories, and current version. 

Something similar could be done with Mousetrap. But instead of an all in one releasing multiple versions based on past eras of Mousetrap. Like say: 1970s Mousetrap and have the game be the 1970s version while the box has 70s inspired art. Then 1990s Mousetrap would be the 1990s version of the game, with each version being released having not only a dofferent ruleset based on its era, but the Rube- Goldberg trap being different.

Same thing would apply to Clue. It should have the Traditional Clue board and the things from the less Popular and discontinued Discover the Secrets version. With Traditional you get 2 boards... the older version with older spacing for the characters where you can use Mrs. White and the modern version with the new spacing and Dr. Orchid replaces White.

The idea is to "preserve past versions" through educating the newer generations of their games' histories. That way they can connect to older family members... and to coax the old farts into accepting the newer versions. 

Let's leave Mr. Bucket out if this...

38 years of being a Teenager: An interview with Hamato Mikerangero

 Sorry if I butchered the Japanese pronunciation, but my Japanese knowledge comes from Duolingo and watching Family Friendly anime... and I mean really FAMILY FRIENDLY...

This segment is a spin-off of the Life After the Neitlichverse, where I was supposed to interview MOTU characters to see where they were after Classics continuity ended... I will do some of those later, but Now I want to expand that idea and go beyond MOTUC and interview other people from different universes... No, I will NOT interview Cryborg... Today's guest, as I already mentioned is Hamato Mikerangero... also known as Orange Ninja Turtle, the party dude, so, Mikey, welcome to the show...

"Dude, it's totally awesome being here! What you did to the green room was radical!"

Well, the room is meant to help chillax and I just, uh, had it full of chillaxing stuff!! And extra pizza with customizable toppings for my guest!!

Dude, did you try banana and nutella?

No, but now I wanna. I went with tuna spread and mango...

Did you heat up the tuna in the oven or put it on later... not sure about putting mayo in the oven...

Heat up the pizza as normal, once hot, remove the crust and add the tuna spread on top. Roll it like sushi and then add the bits of mango... it's fantastic...

Hmm now tell me that you dipped the crusts in Wendy's frosty?

You HAD FROSTIES? Why no one told me about that! I used mint chocolate ice cream!

Dude, I gotta try that... now, I gotta ask: You're American, raised in a Japanese Household, so Okonomiyaki/pizza hybrid, yay or nay?

Kansai style or Hiroshima style? Also, is it an okonomiyaki with pizza toppings or a pizza with okonomiyaki toppings? There are so many variables on this... I've tried them all. They're an acquired taste for those with more Western palates. 

Damn, I thought that this would've gotten an easy answer... then again, hello! I'm talking with the Pizza connoisseur that rivals Norville Rogers and his extravagant palate.

Dude! Unlike Mr. Rogers, I can handle my meat... 

Umm, *giggling*

Dude! That's not what I meant!

You do you, dude... I know what you meant, you're not a vegan like Shaggy. So you know how to add some seemingly weird combos to pizza... Now, THE pizza question:

Pineapple: yay or nay?

Ooh! You HAD to go there... pineapple is a confusing ingredient, like Chocolate covered grasshoppers or anchovies. They sound gross, but with the right combination of ingredients, they can be made to taste great! 

Hey, you two! Stop writing the 

stoner's guidebook for pizza and get started on the interview...

I've already started the interview, Spike!! So, you're 38 years old and still a teenager... what's it like being, you know, the laid-back, king of the chill, hero in a half shell?

It's really hard being me, dude... I love my dad, Master Splinter, but he trained me and my brothers into being his child soldiers to finish a blood feud between the Hamato and the Oroku.

Everybody thinks that being a ninja is badass... it is, don't get me wrong, but they don't see the darkness that comes with it. You see these hands? These are the hands of a killer, dude! These hands were trained,ever since I could walk and talk, as weapons of human destruction. When I paint realistic human portraits, it's not simply because I can appreciate the beauty in your species. It's because I've studied human anatomy and understand the thousands of ways to end a life. I know which bones to break and cause minor, but severely painful injuries, as well as those to make a swift death look accidental. 

Holy shit, this went dark...

Dude, it gets worse. I am a mellow dude, mostly because I'm afraid... yeah, afraid of the darkness within. I often wish that the feud would end so we could be in peace and that my hands could devote themselves entirely to create instead of destruction. I paint, I write, I dabble in sculpting, because, I want to create, but I am honorbound to my family and must ensure that the feud ends honorably, preferably with the least amount of casualties as possible. I know that Leo is the "honor dude", but honor often requires payments in blood or life... and maybe I'm a bit more of a pacifist...

This is heavy. I was expecting something about partying, having fun, you know, something nice!

I get it, dude! Everyone thinks that I'm the laidback dude, which I am, but, I'm just painting the background on WHY I am something of a hedonist. I'm aware that the term hedonism is a bit loaded, but here's how I Hamato Michelangelo interpret hedonism. Seeking pleasure over pain. It sounds like the common definition, but I'm aware that a certain amount of pain is required to achieve balance. That way we can value the pleasant moments more...

Hmm, I see... kinda like the Bob Ross darkness and light speech.

So, I, as a teenager, I enjoy having fun, do some gaming, dance, paint, write, read, skate, surf, to LIVE!! Spreading happiness through a well timed joke, a silly impression, or simply having fun! If I can make a person smile...

Maybe my shitty life has a purpose...

I wasn't going to use those words, but the idea is similar...

To me it sounds like the mask of a depressed person... I should know, I'm dealing with it... and I use lame attempts at humor as a way to feel some worthiness... but I'm working through my issues with professional help.

That's awesome, dude! The part about getting therapy and working through your issues, I mean! But you may be right... I could be dealing with depression, but it's kinda hard to find a therapist that will work with an uninsured mutant terrapin. Back on topic, I'm into partying, having fun, because it's fun! Think about it: 4 Homeschooled teenage boys, who have been training with a deadlier version of Mr. Miyagi... we eat, drink, sleep Ninjitsu... partying and arts is where I'm just Mikey, not  Michelangelo of Clan Hamato. Leonardo does his katas and his samurai thing... He writes Haiku, meditates, prunes bonsai, you've played Ghost of Tsushina? He goes all Sakai Jin and shit, especially when Usagi shows up! He, as squad leader has a ton of pressure and he doesn't fully know how to unwind... how to be Leonardo the brother instead of Squad Leader Hamato Leonardo. When Father put him in charge, Leo changed. Now he's wound up too tight with his responsibilities and he's mostly focused on how to become a better leader and step up once Fath... Master Splinter is no longer able to be Grandmaster of the Hamato Clan. 

Donatello does machines... he disassembles junk and mades some cool stuff from it. Sometimes he overcomplicates things... But he's the brainy dude! Machines are his thing and he understands them better than he does people.

Let me guess, Raphael is cool but rude?

Gimme a break! He's a brawler... a 5'1" ball of pure unadulterated anger sandwiched between a super hard shell... but despite his badass facade, lies one of the most tender hearts that you've ever met... and I'm going to be so dead now... Yeah, Raph's super tough, a bit hard-headed, but his heart is in the right place. Despite his bickering with Leo regarding missions, there's no one else I'd rather have in my corner. My bro is passionate about what he believes, but sucks at expressing his feelings in verbal ways that aren't snarky. I guess he feels like the burden of Leadership might be too much for Leo and that's why he craves that position. He wants to take the burden off of Leo's shell, but his pride doesn't allow him to properly express himself.

Anyways how is your sex life?

Did you just made a reference to The Room? Dude, I'm a 5'1" Bipedal Turtle. If my brothers and I went to Japan, we could star in shokushu goukan movies... DON'T GOOGLE IT!!

It's Tentacle stuff... I'm a novice in that genre, but some of my favorite H-stuff is in that genre.

Dude, you really are a sukebe... As I was saying:

As a Bipedal Turtle, my dating pool is really small... I can't be with human girls since...

Your monster turtle dong would kill them... based on your previous reference... of course! I totally did not google Turtle Penis.

He totally did...

Spike! How about less snark and more clip rolling?

Whoa, dude! Low blow! We don't talk about Oprah, no no no... There's Jennika, but right now she's a vagitarian. There's Venus who may or may not be my sister... I'm still trying to figure out the logistics of Raph and Alopex or Raph and Mona Lisa... depends on which continuity we're referencing.

Yikes! But, back on topic: You say, you want to end the feud, let's say, the feud ends tomorrow in a peaceful manner, what are Hamato Michelangelo's plans after the war?

Oh Jeez, dude! I was expecting that question, but it still caught me off-guard. It's the reason why I'm fighting, you know.... Arts... it's what motivates me. Like my namesake, I want to explore, painting, sculpting, you know, arts! Maybe music and voice acting, since being a 5'1" Turtle can make finding normal acting jobs more difficult. If humanity's attitude towards mutants change, I might even go to college and get a degree... probably in Humanities and of course enjoy some frat parties while I'm at it!

Ah, Humanities, the impractical degrees! As a fellow student of Humanities, I should advise you to get a minor in something practical,  otherwise your degree will net you retail jobs... also, Graphic Designers are a dime a dozen. Now, we danced around the main issue, but touched it barely... What's the deal with April?

Dude, again, it depends on continuity... sometimes she's a 20-something MILF, sometimes she's like our sister from another species, and sometimes she's a sista from another mista...

But have you guys... you know...

Duuude only on R34 continuity! Or the Neftyverse... normally we're great friends! And in most continuities she sticks to her own species... much to my chagrin... Raph and Donnie aren't too fond of that either...

As much fun as I had today, Mike, I guess this is where we have to cut this interview short, since Spike is either making an interpretative dance, or the Network bosses aren't happy about my choice of topics. Next time Join me as we interview Lion-O from Thundercats Roar!! Like hell, we are! Mike. Let's finish this with style...

With style dude? Cowabunga!! Booyakasha!! 

Aw dammit!

Johnny Depp won his case against Amber Heard

 The jury decided that Depp was correct and Miss Heard's OP was about Depp, was defamatory and done with intent to harm Mr. Depp. Depp is to receive $15 Million. Miss Heard is to receive $2 Million because sone expressions from Depp's former lawyer were defamatory...

The only things this case demonstrated are:

-Men are victims of Domestic Violence and have a much harder time to prove it.

-One lie from a woman can ruin a man's career instantly. Once the woman is proven a liar, crickets...

-Even someone as "rich and powerful" as Johnny Depp had one hell of an uphill battle to prove "he was not a wife beater".

-Women can LIE under oath and get away scot-free. Perjury usually ends up with prison time and Miss Heard isn't going to be wearing any orange jumpsuits any time soon. Had the genders been flipped, Depp would've been tossed into gitmo and the keys would end up being lost.

-This case will hurt Domestic Violence Victims (especially women) since public opinion is now getting the wrong message that Women Lie...

-The case was so absurd that it almost feels like it was straight out of Ace Attorney series. And YouTube has provided:

Hopefully, the case might help Male Victims of Domestic Violence to speak up and not be silenced by stigmas.

Also, it might be the cause for Amber Heard's early retirement.

Farewell 30s... This is a scary time!!

 It's a bit scary to think that when my Parents were my age, they were dealing with a teenager... They were in relatively stable executive jobs, and had life figured out (or at least they knew how to fake it)...

Me? I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm struggling with depression, PTSD from my Mom's death, my relationship with my father is better when we have no contact; despite my subconscious attempts at self-sabotage, I have a minuscule bit of a romantic life... 98.73% of it has been failure, but I may have found someone who doesn't want anything SERIOUS SERIOUS (settling down, marriage, that type of thing.) I hated dating in my 20s... I hate it in my 30s... and now I'll have to do it in my 40s... Shit... I'm  in my 40s... 

 

It doesn't help that I stutter and that I'm socially awkward, but when family and friends keep asking WHEN I'm going to settle down and have kids... or when I'm coming out of the closet... or if I'm like Steve Carell

It really grinds my gears... I don't want kids. I don't think it would be fair for them with my depression. Same reason I don't want to get married. I don't want to have others trying to carry my burdens. I KNOW it's a bit messed up, but  I don't want to pass on my accursed genes. I want the freedom of being alone whenever I want to... being married would trap me in a relationship where it would be VERY unhealthy for me to pack up and go if a situation arose.

Yeah, social interactions and relationships are cool, but I NEED A LOT OF ME TIME by that I mean disconnect from the world at large and retreating into "my fortress of solitude"...  Hell, I'd probably fall in love with them Sensory deprivation tanks.

I'm "not doing as well as my parents did at my age" but you know what, screw it! I'M NOT MY PARENTS!! I'm doing the best I can with what I've got and looking for my happiness while keeping my Responsibilities! But, damn! I'm in my 40s now... My twilight has begun... I'm getting closer to 2040... and I'm afraid... (Batman beyond is supposed to be somewhere around 2039-2040)  The 24th Phantom is active in 2040...

But my 2040 will be a lot more disappointing... October 21st 2015 was disappointing and I won't make it to 2099... as that would make me over 100 and I'm sure I WON'T reach a 100th Birthday... unless I get cursed with immortality, which honestly wouldn't surprise me, as I'm the universe's punching bag!! 

Growing old, feeling lost, it's such a weird feeling.

A small tribute to Dean Zayas

 Normally, I don't comment on local news, but one of my favorite College Professors and trusted confidant, Dean Zayas passed away a few days ago. He was at a time a famous director in both theater and soap operas. Most importantly for years he took charge of the University of Puerto Rico Theater troupe, el Teatro Rodante de la UPR, where one of its founders is a distant relative of mine. Something I discovered very close to my graduation.  I won't go into detail of his whole career, since the Humanities Dept. from the UPR rook care of that. I'd rather speak on how he impacted ME.

Dean knowing my family, my mom in particular, wasn't something I knew about. Then again, my mom also studied Theater Arts and Dean was one of her professors, so I should've expected that they knew each other. 

I had a a nightmarish "Helicopter Parent" situation. I failed an exam on his History course and got a D. He was disappointed in me because at class, I knew the material inside and out, but on the test I performed poorly due to my laziness. I tried to BS my way out, but he saw through it and he called me out on it saying that I shouldn't settle with "coasting", because it's lazy. Being talented is good, but it's not enough if it isn't backed by discipline. I took the D... that's not what I meant! and promised that I would put more effort on the exams. Fast forward a few days later and My mom comes at me screaming like a Banshee and scolding me for failing that exam for being lazy... something she couldn't have known, since it was the first exam of the semester and report cards don't mention laziness. Apparently, my mom casually bumped into him and they chatted a bit and she brought me up. He told her about my disappointing test score and now I'm getting chewed up. I admitted that I fucked up and that I would work hard to not fuck up again, which I did.  But the nightmare didn't end there. Dean remembered my mom as an academically gifted student... so now I had to get good grades and compete against my mom's academic ghost. 

I wish I could say that I kicked her ass, but I can't... I DID beat her in some areas, but not in others. 

So after the Helicopter incident and him being a huge source of advice to his students. I often looked up to him for counsel academically speaking. Also, it helped that he once saw me at a bus stop to go to college and gave me a lift. Back then, I lived on a gated community that could be used as a shortcut to reach campus... (it's a shortcut on car, on foot it can be a bit of a maze.) So, I got free rides as long as he was going to campus. I began carryimg a spare beeper to open the gate and allow him to use the shortcut. This gave us more time to chat about life, my goals and him trying to get me to join el Teatro Rodante... something I couldn't do for 2 reasons:

First: I had other responsibilities besides college. One of them was help raise my kid brother... (Now I know parentification is bad, but I saw it as my duty)

The second one, is one that I now can say since both Dean and my Mom are dead: I wasn't good enough. I suppose Dean saw my potential and Mom knew I love the stage... but my insecurities were a huge hurdle. My insecurities leaned on my off campus duties to keep me from fully chasing my dream. 

So, when I had to take stage directing, Dean was the professor and I made sure to put in an effort and I gravitated towards the absurd and the immature, pushing myself. Somehow Dean managed to read me like an open book.  He knew when I had prepared my work vs when I pulled it out my ass despite looking identical. He was keeping tabs on me with other professors, especially on the design classes. I know he liked some of my designs for the costume design class.

Making long story short: 

Dean Zayas was a defender of the Theater Arts in Puerto Rico. He devoted his life to the arts and in academia, he managed to touch the lives of many students, including my own. He's one of my favorite professors, nay he's much more than that. I'd say he's a friend, who pushed me out of my comfort zone. Gracias por todo, Dean. Hasta siempre.

Merry Christmas from the House of Rants

 X-Mas is coming. Another year is about to end soon. We've had our highs, we've had our lows, and everything in between. It's been another semi bizarre year due to recent world events, there are a few things changing on my personal life with will have an impact on this blog. I  honestly, don't  know what the future will look like, but I'll  keep stumbling through. I still haven't reviewed the Avengers box set... or finished Midnight Sun... but that's life... or maybe I'm leaving incomplete stuff in order to remain as a ghost. Would that make me a Ghostwriter?

I had to go there... haunting kids, solving mysteries... but seriously, could I keep writing this blog if I was a ghost? I don't mean a ghost blogger, as in someone who is hired to write posts on behalf of others... I mean Me writing posts from beyond the grave, as in me being a writer that happens to be a ghost. What does this have to do with Christmas? I have no clue but maybe I could do some Christmas Carol thing with my ghost powers. Do I even get ghost powers?

I completely forgot where I was going with this. I want to thank you for being here and reading this blog.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and stuff!