Aug 10, 2010

Villains Part II

did not forget about my Villains rant of Articles past. Now let's start with Part Dos, or Deux, or Due.
Doctor Doom starts off this list. He was not omitted from the last list. He deemed the previous list not worthy of his presence. Obviously he is the Archnemesis of the Stretchy guy from the Fantastic 4. I can't mention his name because Doctor Doom told me not to.
Doom is the most baddest Villain in the Marvel Universe and he DOES NOT SEE HIMSELF AS ONE... or that's pure crap... it depends on the writer. Hell, Dr. Doom has even raised Mjolnir.
One huge feat for a villain (then there's sending Franklin Richards to Hell... Literally)
Then let's take a guess which Marvel character served as a partial inspiration to the Asthmatic Whiny Sith Lord? Answer is the Great Victor Von Doom... who is extremely pissed at Julian McMahon's Hobo Goblin Doom...

Now in position Number 2 on this list, The first real Person ever to be a Supervillain in the Comic Book sense of becoming a nemesis to a superhero is:

Marvel's Editor-in-Chief, Mr. Joe Quesada!!
Why is Jokesada here?

Ok, Where to start: Quesada has DONE GOOD THINGS for Marvel. Credit is given where credit is due and all that crap, but... he basically is responsible of assassinating Spider-man's character. Remember that Spider-Man is Marvel's Flagship character. The whole "Totem Magic Origin" that was "confirmed" with The Other, Sins Past, Moving in with the Avengers, The Iron-Spider "sidekick suit" Civil War's Public Unmasking, everything was made so Spider-Man would have to accept a deal with the Devil to retcon all that (and get rid of a certain redhead). Just because Joe never liked a married Spidey. Now for some words on why he went with the "deal with the Devil"

Sure, that would have been a very easy solution. However, how would a parent feel when they had to explain to their kid that Spider-Man just got divorced from his wife? How would that headline read across the AP or on USA today? The same can be said with an annulment. Sure, divorce is a reality of life, but Peter Parker and Spider-Man are not the types of characters that would do that. Spider-Man is a worldwide icon and is considered one of the good guys, like Superman. There's always the option of killing off MJ, but over the years way too many key characters in Spider-Man mythology have been killed off. Much like the marriage, those deaths hurt the book. The Spider-Man books were better with Harry in them, as well as Norman. Also, how much older would Peter seem as a widower -- yikes!

Hmmm... so to Joe is easier for a parent to explain to a kid that Spider-Man gave up AND made a deal with THE ULTIMATE EVIL (The Devil, or a Devil Proxy) than getting a divorce?
He's worried about headlines?

ERASED MARRIAGE, UPSET FANS, DEALS WITH A DEVIL-LIKE ENTITY? Real kid friendly material here, Marvel...
To make matters worse:
The guy who raped Spider-Man's character to the point that making a deal with the devil seemed like a GOOD idea. The very same guy who used Magic to decimate most of the Mutant Population in the Marvel Universe. The one who allowed Captain America to be killed but not being really dead (What happened to the Dead is Dead dogma?) This is the guy who will "ensure that all portrayals of Marvel’s characters and storytelling remain true to the essence of Marvel’s rich history."


Let's move on to another villain before I feel the urge of kicking someone in the gonads.

My next Villain on the list is a Mascot. Matty, YES I'm talking about the same Matty from the Matty Collector site that sells the Masters of the Universe Classics figures that I enjoy so much.
Just look at him! Standing there smug with that grin, while telling you that you need to wait a bit during the Matty Day Frenzy at Noon. Also Matty is a Big Fat Liar... the queue is like the Spoon from the Matrix.

Aside from Matty, this rant is full of Marvel Villains. I blame this to my former Marvel Zombie status (Joe Quesada cured me from that.) so let's open up ourselves for another Marvel Villain.
The Green Goblin...
Norman Osborn was a cool villain. He came, went crazy due to the "Goblin Formula" and tried to control the NY crime scene, but a Spidey was in the way. He figured out Spidey's ID and killed Gwen Stacy... (Ock killed Gwen's dad earlier) then he fought Spidey and died impaled with his own glider.
That's it!? Nope! Norman wrote a lot of crap on some journals AND he had some "Goblin lairs" spread out throughout Manhattan. His son Harry became a Goblin, some other dude (Roderick Kingsley) got hold of some Osborn Journals and became a goblin himself (Hobgoblin).
Even in death Norman had a lot to do with Spidey's "universe". That's where my biggest beef with Norman lies. Almost EVERYTHING BAD that happens to Peter could be attributed to Norman. Clone Saga, Norman did it, AND he WASN'T DEAD... He was in Europe...

OK, so now Norman is back from the dead AND has a Wolverine-like healing factor (and he has Wolverine's overexposure factor too!) UGH! Now we CAN OFFICIALLY BLAME EVERYTHING ON NORMAN!
Not only that but, He didn't kill Gwen Stacy because she was Spider-Man's Girlfriend... He killed her because she wasn't going to have his Goblin babies... Yes Norman Osborn had Sex with Gwen Stacy and he impregnated her with his Goblin seed. Good grief! Way to undermine the significance of Gwen's death, Jokesada... Mr. Strac... Joseph Michael Stracz... the Babylon 5 guy! is not off the hook either.
Pinning everything on Norman is not that cool. I wouldn't be surprised if OMD is part of a Norman Osborn machination...

Next on my list is...
I was going to say Mumm-Ra, but Cobra Commander works...
He's the Leader of a Ruthless Terrorist Organization, Determined to Rule the World... Through Music, Controlling the Weather, Mind controlling the GI Joes, Ruining the Economy, Giant bugs, or some crazy thing... CC is a complete nutjob, but a charismatic nutjob! Even when betrayed by his own associates. A great leader who knows WHEN to retreat... Well "Retreat!" is his second battle cry... His first is "COBRA!!!!"

And last but not least...

Evil, eternal, afraid of mirrors, and he's a dog kind of person. Biggest problem, trying to get rid of an Alien Cat-Man-Child and his buddies. He "rules" Third Earth, or just hangs out at his pyramid, chilling out, but now he must stop the Thundercats from spreading their code of honor throughout his lands or something... I mean, there hasn't been that much change on Third Earth since the Thundercats showed up... Also he likes boobs...

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