Dec 10, 2009

Talk shows...

Maury Povich... I miss his show. It's a shame that Maury is no longer shown on Puerto Rico.
I used to watch Maury whenever I was sick during High School and whenever I had a chance during college.

It was an elightening experience, but predictable. (at times a bit disturbing.) I liked the show cause of it's predictability. Now I'll present a list of the 5 most recurring themes on Maury. (usually what they showed on a week.)

5- (Monday): I'm the mother of an incredibly obese baby...

Good God! what the Hell are these people thinking!? 84 pound 3 year old! Why the Hell hasn't child services taken away the kids from these abusive parents!? Honestly people like this shouldn't reproduce...

4- (Tuesday)My daughter sleeps with everything that has a, you know...

Ah the one with the little horny tween/teen episode, not to be confused with the tween/teen who breaks everything up, is growing up to be one of America's Most Wanted and needs to go to boot camp in order to become an upstanding citizen.

3- (Wednesday)Help! I've slept with an entire town and I don't know who's the father of my child!

This one usually aired either the day before the network aired a horny tweens episode. Basically Women who slept with many men and didn't have a clue to who the father was. The crowd (and Maury) were usually on the ladies' side. Until Mr. Povich said the magic words...
You are NOT the father...

2- (Thursday) The ones with tween/teens who break everything up, are growing up to be on America's Most Wanted and need to go to boot camp in order to become upstanding citizens. (There are some horny tween/teens here but thisones are violent.)


1- (Friday) Wild card. This is where predictability is thrown out the window. Anything goes, from a midget trying to marry a giant, to people who are afraid of popsicles. Wild card day on Maury is home of the strangest events on the show.

See? One day its Jack Hanna, promoting his love of animals (or any other random "celebrity", the next "wild card day" is one of the odd couples episodes, the next one is a weird phobia, sometimes it's a recap of the previous themes (wild kids, who's the daddy,etc.).

There is one talk show that I miss more than the Maury show...
Can you feel the electricity in the air, the foul smell of betrayal mixed with blood while an audience cheers on? If you close your eyes and open your ears you might hear a faint solemn chant turning into a ferocious battle cry... Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
The Jerry Springer show! The trashiest tlak show on television (albeit a tamer version of what tJSs used to be.) I do miss that a lot!

It's a shame that Springer isn't what it used to be... and that it's not available on Puerto Rico. They say TV rots the mind, well these two guys made sure that my brains were undesirable to a zombie...

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