Dec 29, 2009

You call that a Secret Identity?

Secret Identities are meant to protect one aspect of a Person's life. Usually Superheroes are the ones that have them. Some of these are REALLY stupid.

Now the Worst Offenders:
Adam of the House of Randor
Yes I am talking about that Adam. Prince of Eternia, Defender of the Secrets of Castle Grayskull.

All he does is take off his clothes and get a tan... A Magic Lightning induced tan... That's how he becomes HE-MAN, THE ONLY MAN WITH A GREEN TIGER IN ETERNIA... aside from Prince Adam of course... There is no real point for Adam to keep his ID secret. Skeletor was already bent on destroying Adam's family long before he became He-Man.
But he's not the only offender in the House of Randor...

Adora, Adam's long lost twin sister is an even bigger offender than Adam... The Princess of Power Herself... She-Ra is no one other than the Former Force Captain of the Evil Horde, Adora.

A Tiara and more cleavage shown... She's also wearing a mini skirt... Which is kinda pointless since Adora showed more leg... But the Evil Horde is mostly male, so the more cleavage helps covering the secret... Why didn't she get a tan like He-Man's?

Usagi Tsukino

Another case of Tiara and mini skirt is enough to distract people from noticing the secret. This also applies to the rest of the Sailor Senshi, but I'm not gonna go into a fully detailed rant about each of them. Long story short: Usagi Tsukino is Sailor Moon. As in the Magical Girl who kills the evil monsters with the Power of Love... (After the Other Senshi have weakened them... Or the occasional Intervention of Tuxedo Kamen.) I mean how many Blonde Japanese girls use that silly hairstyle?

Miley Stewart

Miley, Miley, Miley... You fooled me once until I figured out that Hannah Montana was a Disnified verion of...

Jem! Now that was Truly Truly Outrageous. I still can't believe that I was fooled by the Hannah wig... Now that I know the secret I feel so stupid... Also she's the only one who is not a Hero... Jem had an orphanage... He-Man, She-Ra and Sailor Moon save their worlds on an almost daily basis... What makes Hannah/Miley a hero?
Nope... Nothing comes to mind... Except that Miley Cyrus thinks that Twilight is evil., but then again a lot of people already think that. I'm talking about the character, not the actress so that doesn't count...

Speaking of Stupid here's El Queso Grande, The Big Boss, Il Numero Uno!!

You guessed it, The Number one spot on Stupid Secret Identities is...
SUPERMAN!!! I mean GLASSES!? That's THE most stupid disguise ever... A wig, a magic tan, Anything is better than GLASSES!!
Well that's enough for my stupid disguises rant...

*Gasp!* Tuxedo Kamen-sama!!

Get out of here!!! Yes, Tuxedo Kamen... He's ripping off Superman's lame disguise! But at least he'll have something to wear for the Prom...
There you go the Top 5 Stupid Secret Identities ever...

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