Jan 3, 2020

Home Alone Reboot is a massive ball of failure...

And it makes sense... that it'll fail, not that the reboot makes sense.
The premise of the reboot is basically this: the kid steals something from an adult couple the adult couple tries to get the stuff back but stumbles upon the carefully-planned carefully planned traps by said kid.


 FIRST of all it's not a reboot.  it's a misguided sequel and we've had like three of those.

SECOND, Home Alone is a product of its time. A home alone type of movie in this day and age where everyone is connected via internet cannot work. Cellphones, consoles, laptops, etc... the only way it could work would be if it's set in a pre-internet era and if you're going to do that just use the originals.

THIRD, what the hell is that premise!? How does that make sense as a Home Alone movie?

Look at the premises of past movies:
The Real Home Alone:
Kid is accidentally left Home Alone in a Christmas trip to France. Kid has to defend himself from a pair of burglars.
The possibly unnecessary sequel that I like:
Kid accidentally boards wrong plane and ends up in New York. He scams a Hotel in NY and is discovered. He runs away and has to defend a relative's abandoned house from the same burglars as the previous movie. (Bonus fact: in 2014, a Canadian station decided to cut scenes from this movie to fit under 2 hour of running time. Fast forward to 2019, where the President of the United States is crying like a bitch about his cameo being removed.)

Home Alone 3: the first of the pretenders:
Teen ScarJo is the closest thing to a positive thing here.
Kid accidentally discovers a terrorist plot and must defend his house from international thieves serving a North Korean Terrorist Organization while being sick with chicken pox.
What in the actual Hell!? Terrorists?

Home Alone 4: we're dropping a deuce or 20 on the franchise:
We return to The McCallisters, but a TV movie version of them...
Kevin's dad divorced and married an even richer lady and they're hosting a party for the Royal Family. He has to defend his stepmom's home from French Stewart... who is supposed to be Daniel Stern.

Home Alone 5: We're not even trying anymore...
Kid and family.move to Maine... (sadly Pennywise isn't available) gamer kid defends house from burglars.

As you can see which each passing movie the premises go crazier and crazier and stupider. Home Alone was supposed to be a standalone movie and that's it sadly both Fox and now Disney are trying to milk this franchise and there's no more milk left in it.

No comments:

Post a Comment