Canon vs Playability

Yup! I'm on another Toy Rant... You can blame this commercial for it.


So, I'm not THAT well versed in Spongebob lore, but Plankton wants to steal the Krabby Patties to rip-off the formula, right? THEN WHY IN THE HELL would Spongebob use Krabby Patties as missiles to stop Plankton!? I know Spongebob is an idiot, but it makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER!! What are the Toy people thinking!?
The same thing could be applied to these guys:

It's even funnier since Season 2 has them trying to recover a bunch of Ooze Canisters that were accidentally dropped by the Turtles throughout NYC in an aerial battle against the Kraang. Meanwhile the Toy TMNT are flinging the Mutagen Ooze at everything and everyone... How does THAT maek any sense. At least in the vintage line the Flush-O-Matic made sense since it was a Villain weapon similar to the Evil Horde's Slime Pit.

Then again, Batman: the Brave and the Bold poked fun at this ridiculous notion.


Now, don't get me wrong, I UNDERSTAND that some zany variants are used to sell toys, but things like a NEON Pink and Green Batman make no sense since he's the "Dark Knight" Neon Green and Pink does not equal dark... It's things like the Ooze flinging Turtles that grind my gears... Or Spider-man with a car... No, scratch that FISHERMAN Spidey grinds my gears.
Why?
Peter Parker/Spider-Man is FREAKING POOR!! He has to sell selfies to get money. If he has to do that just to pay the bills, how can he afford a sports car or going to fishing trips... Mr. "I have a guilt trip for being selfish now I must slave myself to aid a city that hates my guts" can simply say: screw that I'm going on a fishing trip! It makes no freaking sense!!

It's not that I HATE variants, it's just the pointless variants or the ones that ignore completely the canon cause "Screw the Rules, we're a toy company" kind of variants.  Now that I think of it the Original TMNT Blimp doesn't make that much sense... Then again, Playmates went crazy with Turtle Variants like Racially insensitive Bandito Michelangelo, Star Trek Turtles, Astronaut Raphael, Cavewoman April, etc.

If Peter Parker is barely scraping by each month to pay the bills, then how the heck can he afford a sports car, or worse a Helicopter. If Pinkie Pie lives on the attic of the Bakery she works at, then how can she have TWO sports cars or a TRAIN!? Although it doesn't make that much sense, Applejack with a Truck seems plausible. She works on a farm and all that. The fuel issue is what bugs me, but suspension of disbelief and all that... (Probably runs on moonshine and cooking oil) Just make awesome toys that actually FIT the Character's universe. I get the Friendship express... Not why it's property of Pinkie Pie. I can get the Krusty Krab with a Spatula catapult... that kind of absurdity could happen in the show. The Spatula flinging Krabby Patties at Plankton? I must disagree. Oh no sir! I must say you're wrong... Why am I quoting Goodbye Horses?
I wouldn't mind if the Foot Clan or the Kraang were the ones with the Ooze flinging Technology, because they want to make a mutant army to destroy those who call themselves the Turtles who will be the ones to be called destroyed. Now the Turltes flinging Ooze is just wrong... It's almost as bad as giving Batman a Machine gun... Or putting He-Man in Pants...