Jun 21, 2017

So, I saw the Last Knight...

I'm already hating myself for paying to watch a Bayformers movie at the Cinema... Supposedly, this was Bay's last movie, so as a Good Riddance to Michael Bay, I thought it was a good idea... I mean I saw The F8 of the Furious. OK, the budget cinema I went to didn't have The Mummy, so Instead I chose Bayformers 5 instead of watching WW a third time. Seems like the Universe doesn't want me to see Tom Cruise running from mummies. Won't do a play by play review because that would mean multiple viewings and once was more than enough... Did I mention spoilers, cause Spoilers ahead...

OK where to begin... Creepy Bay is still Creepy... The girl is 16, man! Some of your shots were borderline creepy. I felt creepy for noticing Bay's focus on the loli... While it doesn't reach Megan Fox levels, some shots lingered on her a bit too much and knowing Bay... Also, T-Bob clone is too much like T-Bob.

Peter Quill's mom was the British Replacement to Megan Fox... She even had the mouthbreathing pose down to a T.

There was a Picture Cameo of the Actual Cannibal. John Tuturro plays a moderately significant role for a glorified Cameo. Josh Duh... Generic Duke Copy for TF is back.

Earth is Unicron... is the Soylent Green twist, but if you have some TF lore knowledge, the Horns gave it away... Also, Robot Satan is not awakened in the movie... Cybertron comes to eat Earth in a reversal of the traditional Unicron role... IIRC there was A continuity BEFORE Bayformers that had Unicron being Earth.

A Quintesson, Quintessa is the main Villain, while Doctor Claw is the stooge... Wasn't he Galvatron in the last movie. He's now back to Megatron.

There is an Order of Witwickians... Anthony Hopkins (who was wasted on this was one)

Optimus Prime becomes Nemesis Prime, tussles with some generic no-name knights and Bumblebee and becomes good in like 5 minutes.

Screw this movie... It's better than Revenge of the Fallen, mildly worse than Age of Extinction. No, don't watch it... save your money. Watch Cars 3 instead... I KNOW WHAT I SAID...

Did I mention that they made Hot Rod French?

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