Oct 1, 2014

People who I'd like to see in Expendables 4

Being Internetless has forced me to watch more movies at night. So, I rewatched the good Expendables movies and I began thinking.
"Who would I like to see in Expendables 4?"
I know guys like Jackie Chan are out of the picture (since he was previously approached and declined since he couldn't get a starring role.)
Or a certain self-proclaimed "deity" who is Above the Law and Hard to Kill... Unless you have an Executive Decision. He probably won't do it since he IS the law somewhere in Louisiana. If he were into it, he should be the bad guy.

So, here's my list of SOME People who I'd like to see in Expendables 4. I don't want to see ALL OF THEM, but if I get 1-3 of the people from the list; I'd be happy.

Carl Weathers:
Has worked with BOTH STALLONE AND AHNULD... He was also killed by Lundgren in Rocky IV. So he has plenty of reasons and plenty of references to make.
Seriously, If Weathers is added, I hope he has some animosity towards Lundgren's character... For obvious reasons.


Michael Dudikoff:
There is only one good reason Mike Dudikoff is on the list: American Ninja. Personally, I'd rather have a Japanese Ninja here, but I think that Dudikoff would be pleasantly received.


Kane Kosugi:
Currently, I'm not sure if Sho Kosugi is Dead or Alive... (Reference to a movie where Kane Kosugi appeared is purely coincidental) So, I chose Kane instead.
I was watching Ninja II (With Scott Adkins, who already appeared in Expendables 2) and DoA since the common element was Kane Kosugi playing a ninja. Also, an 80s tribute series without Ninjas is a bit messed up. Personally, I'd prefer Kosugi than Dudikoff, but Dudikoff might be more popular in the west. I'm starting to feel the urge to make paper shuriken to toss at people!
BTW, Sho is still alive. I think he retired after Ninja Assassin.

The Hoff:
Mister Baywatch Night Rider himself... Reduced to a cameo of course. No need to have a Full-on Hoff Experience. Brownie points if the Hoff has a car whose GPS sounds like Mr. Feeney... Also, no Hoff; I cannot forgive you for having Bieber as a faker KITT.

Hulk Hogan:
Nothing was bigger in the eighties than Hulkamania, brother! Having the Hulkster do a Cameo. The Expendables already did Chuck Norris. Mr. T would not do a movie that glorifies violence like the Expendables. That leaves Hulk Hogan as the Default 80s Superstar who had his own cartoon... that is not Rambo. (We already have him.)

Rob Schneider:
If he gets killed during the beginning of the mission, even better. It's not that I hate Rob Schneider, but he has a history with Stallone...
(I am the Law clip) I don't think Sandra Bullock would lend herself to appear on this, so let's bring Mr. Deuce Bigalow instead.

James Woods: Hey, he's the perfect man to play a more cerebral villain for the Next Expendables. Giving him a few Kickass bodyguards would give the movie, the Final battle it needs before the victory of brawn over brains that this series pretty much represents.

Dave Bautista:
The Animal himself, no, not that animal! would make a great addition to the movie. He's been a bodyguard in real life, so him being the big bad's Muscle wall is not that far-fetched. Bonus points if in one scene he is holding a bonsai. (Works in two ways: Nod to Guardians of the Galaxy and The Karate Kid.) While Batista isn't an 80s action star, neither was Jason Statham, but there he is.

Keifer Sutherland: He thinks he's so badass because he's Jack Bauer and replaced David Hayter in the role of Big Boss. I'm not a fan of him, but I will not use the nickname he's gotten by his haters.

Michael Jai White: The Hellspawn himself (It was either Him or Bill Goldberg for the Universal Soldier 2 reference) He kicks ass and would be nice to set him up against Statham.

Nicholas Cage:
Oscar Winning Actor, Internet Phenomenon and capable of making an insane bad guy. He's my number two option for big bad after James Woods to be honest.

Just take the Internet version of Cage and make him the bad guy.

Now, it's hard to top off Nic Cage, but for my next pick I have... Nothing. I can't top off Nic Cage. I mean, WIlliam Zba... Zabk... eh #$% it! Johnny from Karate Kid isn't badass enough. Dustin Diamond would be one hell of a curve ball, but he ain't Cage. There you have it. Nicolas Cage would be the Crowning Achievement for The Expendables.

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