Nov 8, 2014

HOME ALONE SIX!? What in the world!?

Another Hoax of Macaulay Culkin being dead made me look for info and I stumbled upon the News of a Home Alone Six... Which brought me to the realization that they made a Home Alone Five. Something I don't understand since the Fourth Home Alone sucked ass. Then again, they made a FOURTH Movie after the third one, which was meh at best.
ScarJo is not amused by my reactions to Home Alone 3.
 I would make a comment about Scarlett Johansson and this movie, but since she was underage back then and she used to be with Ryan Reynolds, who played DC's biggest pedophile... So, something Positive about HA3: Scarlett Johansson's acting was better there than in Avengers! Spike, just upload the ScarJo is not Amused pic and paste a reference to how much I disliked Home Alone 3...

There we go! Now that we got ScarJo out of the way, let's move back to the whole Home Alone Business.

They should have stopped after Lost in New York... Since Macaulay had retired from Acting at the time. Though a Teenaged Kevin Lost in London or something like that would have been amazing.

But Noooooooo! We got a Horrible 4 with z-list Actors. When your movie stars French Stewart, you know your budget is Beyond Low. Ah, that movie was a sorta reboot, but really? French Stewart? He's like Thing #5 to look on a Bad sequel with 75% less budget than the original, Direct to Video PoS movie made as a quick cash grab. He's not a terrible actor. He just shows up often on TERRIBLE MOVIES. So, Soft Reboot, TV Movie (which is slightly worse than Direct to Video)
Then there's another Unrelated movie, but carries the five to ride with the popularity of the franchise. THIS is what gets a sequel? Aw Hell naw!
If a FINAL Home Alone movie has to be made, then... Go for the R-Rated Freaking Gritty, There's no way in Hell that Another Home Alone Movie can be made after this. The McCallisters Leave for somewhere for a Family XMAS Reunion and Kevin (Played by Mac C.) decides to house sit his parents' home. (Since he seems to miss out all the Christmas reunions). The Wet/Sticky Bandits decide to hit the McCallister house after completing their time in jail, BECAUSE they can't let things go. Besides, the thorn on their side is probably married, living far away from that house. Though Harry wishes he could see the little turd face to face one more time. Something, something the movie turns into a slightly more whimsical version of Saw!

I'm half-Joking with this, but it would be better than any of the Turd TV movies that have the Home Alone Name attached to it. I kinda get that after multiple sequels movies can get a bit stale...
Police Academy comes to mind, but here we only have 2 good movies, an Unrelated Sequel, a pseudo inter-sequel/reboot and two more unrelated sequels.

For reasons like this is why we get movies like X-Men: Days of Future Past. Seriously, X-M: DoFP was a long and elaborate excuse to erase X3 and Wolverine Origins from the timeline. Sadly, we can't do the same with Home Alone.

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