Sep 23, 2014

It Came from the Toy Chest: He has a posse (and a horrible hairpiece)

For the first time ever, I'm reviewing a WWE Figure... Yes, I did review a mini-The Rock figure, but that was kept MOC. This time I'm reviewing a Mattel WWE Elite Figure. If you've read past rants where I bitch about Ruben "Mediocre" Martinez, you can guess WHO I'm going to review.

Yes, it's WWE Legend Andre the Giant...
 I finally saw an Elite Series 29 Andre the Giant and got him...
This is the first WWE Elite series figure I got. I've seen the standard figures that Mattel churns and I have to say that the Elite figures are way better. Makes sense since these are supposed to be "elite".

The pictures of Andre here are to show both of his looks. The Short haired look and the big bushy hair look. The WWE Elite Figure allows for you to have both looks for Andre. Sadly the execution of this is not that great.

Andre towers over MOTUC figures.

Ruben Martinez, Mattel Designer Extraordinaire... BTW Extraordinaire is meant to be sarcastic. I know that the joke is lost by me explaining it, but I'd rather screw up the joke if it means emphasize Ruben's mediocrity.

So, without further ado, let's get to the figure itself.

Based on Pictures that I've seen of OTHER WWE Elite Figures, Andre's Articulation is up to par. Heck! He has MORE ARTICULATION THAN A MOTUC Figure with the hinged wrist and double knee Articulation. The amount of Articulation allows for you to pose him in dynamic wrestling moves. I need to point out that the Head is on a ball joint... that is compatible with MOTUC Male Figures.
Nightmare Fuel?

Paint and Sculpt:
The Sculpt is based of laser scanning (for the living Wrestlers) and I'm not sure how do they do it for deceased Wrestlers... Do they sculpt them old school style or do they make a 3D Model based on pictures of the wrestler (in this case Andre)? Something seems a bit off on Andre's face. Also, I'm not a fan of the Nipple-less Torso. it looks great on figures wearing spandex bodysuits, but on Nude male torsos, they look off. Maybe I just got used to all the male nipples on MOTUC figures. Seems that he is molded in the appropriate colored plastic and the only paint details are on his hair and eyes.

He is still a Mediocre A-Hole who thinks he's the $#! but he is
more like the $#! minus the "the".

He has a removable black bodysuit... Ugh! I hate Cloth Accessories. Beneath it he is wearing Blue Wrestling Trunks. So you can have Andre wearing the Black suit or the blue Trunks. The other Accessory is his Hairpiece. this piece is supposedly Ruben's solution to the whole Andre's dual looks.
I think Hell is going to be a bit cooler now, not to the point of freezing over, but a bit cooler since I'm going to kinda compliment Ruben Martinez here... I'm hating myself for it, but in all fairness, the idea is not bad. It's just that the execution is not that great. I mean it's better than the bloated armor, but the problem lies that since the hairpiece is removable, it doesn't look well on the head. To fix it, you'd have to glue the hairpiece down and defeat the whole removable hairpiece thing.

Overall score:
Andre gets a score of 3.5 due to the lack of accessories. Other Elite figures seem to have some more accessories than an Afro wig. Now here's the thing. As you've seen on the pictures he towers over MOTUC figures, has a more heavyset body. So, MOTUC Customizers could make a General Tataran or a Kothos out of Andre. Holy smokes I'm forgetting the most obvious Custom with Andre the Giant...
FEZZIK!! Ah, so that's why I had the Fezzik pic ready for this rant... Duh!
The 1970s were a dark time for Skeletor.


  1. I've never bought any wrestling figures in my life, but just recently I brought Bray Wyatt and now I'm wanting to track down this guy and the rest of the Wyatt Family (love those creepy guys).

    1. the VERY few I've bought are usually Custom fodder... Or to take the accessories from them. Rigth now I'm resisting the temptation of butchering this Andre and turn him into Kothos (while saving the wig to make Circus Afro jokes.)