Apr 8, 2016

Flinging Popcorn at KoF...

KoF: SNK's answer to Street Fighter... right after Fatal Fury and Art of Fighting...
Y'all see what's wrong right out of the bat.

Main Character is MAI SHIRANUI...
Darth Maul is Rugal
White Boy who looks like a Twilight Reject is KYO KUSANAGI

No offense to Maggie Q, but she is NOT Mai Shiranui... She lacks the proper Chesticles to play mai... Hell, she doesn't even dress like MAI in the movie.

But at least she's part Asian... Not like Honkyo Crakernagi, who seriously looks more Sparkly than Edward Cullen... and I should know since I've cosplayed as Edward before.

But that's just the title pic... Let's see How much FAIL this movie has...

First about 1 minute of logos and telling you who made this... (not actor credits, but companies who were involved.) Then we are teased with a Mai shower scene, her Bluetooth shows the KoF Logo and we see her fight a dude in a pimp suit who uses sticks. who I thought was a weird Billy Kane... not him... It's a Mr. Big ersatz... So she wins and we're brought back to the shower. She then gets ready for a date with...
Before you mention Andy Bogard, he's NOWHERE IN THIS ABOMINATION... Mai is dating
Iori Yagami... Not even five minutes into the movie and they have messed up big time... This is Beyond SF 94 bad... This is making DB:Evolution LOOK GOOD... So, Mai and Iori go on a date to a museum exhibit held by Chizuru Kagura... Hear this out:

There's a Necklace, a Mirror, and a Sword that allow you to go to the otherworld, but we must be careful of Orochi who wants to something something evil.

Toad from X-Men shows up, steals 2 out of 3 artifacts and corrupts KoF.

Something something Terry Bogard is a CIA Agent. I think he's trying to stop KoF, but if it's a secret Tournament held in ANOTHER DIMENSION, what's the deal with Mai being a CIA Agent sent by Terry to infiltrate KOF? The world may never know.  Rugal corrupts fighters, plays street hockey and tries to make out with lesbians.
So Mai tries to get Saisyu Kusanagi to deliver the sword, but he's in a coma-like state. There we meet Honkyo Crakernagi. Something something Iori's presence kills Saisyu. Honkyo is all Darkness, no Parents, Angst because he's  The Chosen One, but doesn't feel like it. Eventually everyone enters KoF land and try to stop Rugal.
CIA Agent becomes horrible Terry Bogard Cosplayer when he enters KoF World...
At least they TRIED to have SOME characters kinda dress like their game counterparts.

That doesn't save the movie from being a MASSIVE TURD!!
Kyo fights Rugal and wins... but movie is crap anyway... If you want to lose 1:40 of your time, this turd is on Netflix...

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