Apr 23, 2016

Neitlich vs the New Team: The Boner List.

I am using Boner the same way the Joker used the term, goof up, mistake, that kind of thing... Not going to be counting erect penises... That's a job for someone else... Come on! Spike, roll the Count von Count clip... Spike? waht's wrong? Spike? SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!

Now Neitlich was 7 years into the brand, so he will have more mistakes than the new team. Remember that roughly 7 years vs 9 months. I shall use SDCC 2015 as the starting point for the New Team seeing there was where they threw Neitlich under the bus.

Neitlich Era Boners: Year 1 (2008-2009)

-King Grayskull: Brittle Plastic, Reversed Shoulders
-He-Man: Reversed Shoulders, maced face red paintjob overkill.
-Stratos: Glued on Wings, few had wrong colored Loincloth
-MerMan: Delayed, but Faker was used as an emergency measure replacement.
-Webstor: No Action Feature.
-Green Goddess: Brittle Plastic

6 figures with issues in year 1:
King Grayskull had a variant released with corrected shoulders and slightly better plastic.
He-Man had a reissue released in 2009 which fixed the issues.
Stratos had an in run change where they fixed the loincloth colors, but not the glued on wings.
Webstor no Solution was given.
Green Goddess: No solution was given.
while MerMan was delayed, Faker was a quick solution that had them deliver a figure that month and MerMan was simply moved one month back.


Year 2: (2010)
-Adora: Granny Panties
-BA He-Man: No Power Sword No Action Features
-She-Ra: Unable to ride steeds, Holey head.
-Tytus: too small
-Keldor: Wrong swords
-Roboto: Brittle Torso, Reversed Shoulders
-Grizzlor: No 200X Head
-Buzz-Off: No 200x Head
-Palace Guards: delayed to 2011, Neitlich head.
OK, so year two has more issues.

Granny Panties will be a common issue that Mattel seems unable to understand. Mostly because of the names given by the fans. The issue is that Mattel made skirts out of pieces that are supposed to wrap between the legs of female figures. (Like the bottom of a swimsuit.) If the character was wearing that clothing in the cartoon, a kick would flash off her vulva.
No Power Sword for BA He-Man was a Bummer Kinda solved with Castle Grayskull.
She-Ra was a Blunder that was kinda resolved with BP She-Ra, but it was a massive oversight. Like the Hole in the head.
The giants had no solution.
Keldor received Classicized 200X Swords via a Weapons pak.
Roboto had no solution
Grizzlor and Buzz off received their 200X heads via a sub exclusive.

So year 2 had 3 issues without a solution: Small Giant, which could be considered nit-picking. Granny Panties, which is a problem that went all the way to 2015. Past figures were screwed unless you customized them (trimming and gluing) yourself.
The TG Palace Guard head is not that huge an issue if you ignore the ♠Retconning♠ where Someone said that the Horsemen did that as a surprise. I could have sworn he ASKED to be made into a Palace Guard.
We also have water soluble glue holding the flocking on Mossman. I did not mention it earlier because the issue was more of his snarky reply to it than being an actual issue. (though those who like to take photoshoots in the wild may have an issue with Mossman's water weakness.)

Year 3:
-Reversed Shoulders on King Hsss and small snake torso.
-BA skeletor not having a Power Sword.
-Clawful's lack of 200X head.
-Megator was tiny.
-Cringer Undersized Statue
-Flaky Vac Metal on Hurricane Hordak
-Snout Spout's Rotting Trunk
-Some swift winds had wrong parts on their legs.
-Demo-Man was delayed.
-Mattel not understanding the point of wanting a 200X Evil Lyn and not Vintage Evil Lyn in 200X colors.

10 figures with issues.
Snout Spout and Clawful's issues were kinda solved with the 200X headpack. The Weapon Pak that gave us the 200X Swords for Keldor/Skeletor frees up a Vintage Purple Power Sword for BA Skeletor.
The 2016 Serpentine Hsss solves the Torso issue for the Vintage Hsss.
We lost Terry Higuchi as the lead in design. He was replaced by Ruben Martinez. Roughly 15-ish issues with design under Higuchi's helm.
Year 4: 2012

Before I start, I must issue a warning: While yeah, the 30th Anniversary roster should have been managed better and not been a Method for ♠ to self-promote and do some metaphorical analingus to Geoff Johns, this will not be an issue. I am looking at issues with the toys from a physical Point of view. (Lack of accessories, shoddy QC, that kind of thing) Now let's go!

-Sorceress: DEM WINGS!
-Fisto: MIA for various Subbers who received Sorceress Figures in Fisto Mailers.
-Shadow Weaver: Being Sub Exclusive was a dick move, but that's not the issue here. Many Subscribers DID NOT Receive their Shadow Weavers, due to the Sub cancellation glitch.
-Kobra Khan was delayed.
-Stinkor: Reversed Forearms
-Slushhead's dome peg.
-Horde Prime: Missing staff
-SMAA: Missing Handcannon
-Blastic on Vykron, Mekaneck, Rattlor, Snakemen 2pack, Spikor, and Sir-Loser-Lot.
-Frosta's grey and reversed forearms. (Mattel even offered a free figure as an apology)
-Dekker's Tunic without slits for Wider poses.
-EP Randor's Tunic without slits for Wider poses.
-Mosquitor: Gummy hands
-Procrustus too small.
-Draego-Man: Missing Accessories
-Spector: He Exists!! (j/k... I won't count it as an issue, but it still is an issue) missing Whip
-Cy-chop: Brittle Torso

Almost the entire year has had an issue here. The subscription cancelled glitch is a DR Incompetence issue. The Delays are a different set of issue. But let's look at the number of issues with the toys themselves that stem FROM DESIGN.
16. In ONE YEAR, Ruben Martinez managed to accumulate the number of issues that Higuchi had. I wish I knew about the internal politics at Mattel and WHY DIDN'T THEY GET RID of MARTINEZ sooner!!
Some issues were solved via weapon pak.
2013:
-Netossa Missing accessories (Sword and Faceguard)
-Jitsu Missing Accessory (200X Belt)
-Strobo Non GITD Paint on the Zodac Head.
-Octavia: Granny Panties
-Spirit of  Hordak existing (wasted slot)
-Rokkon and Stonedar: Ruben altered a few bits made by the horsemen to preserve accuracy to the characters (namely the legbands) Figures are clunky as hell.
-Shokoti: Granny Panties
-Nepthu: (He exists.) Chosen by Neitlich on a whim, when far more popular characters deserved a slot.
-Sea Hawk: Bloated Armor
-Geldor: Politics (Illumina won, but Neitlich picked Geldor due to the beef he had with Illumina's creator.)
-Plundor: See Nepthu.
-Castle Grayskull: Shrinkage, missing accessories, price increases.
-Standor: Metaphorical analingus, No accessories.

Netossa's sword was given to us via weapon pak.
Ninjor gave us Jitsu's belt in 2015
The rest well, weren't solved.
Here we see a bit more of Neitlich using his position to get who he wants. I've discussed Ad nauseum the whole Nepthu thing.
Bloated Armor shows it's ugly head and this is all Ruben. Remember that Higuchi Armors were more snug.

2014:
-Glimmer: granny Panties, no GITD staff, too tall.
-Hydron was a victim of Fat Armor Syndrome.
-Extendar's arms being too long, his Loincloth belt being beyond wrong.
-NA Skeletor Reversed Shoulders and Glued on Fat Armor.
-Rio Blast's Fat Armor that would not close unless you chopped a hole on it.
-Eldor's ill fitting Hood instead of a second hooded head (Supposedly, a Brandon Idea)
-Flimation Hordak not having a Robotic Head, or accurate armor. (Neitlich didn't learn from BaGEL)
-Double Trouble's head.

No solution to any of these issues here. Neitlich left in late 2014 with q1 of 2015 done under his instructions and part of q2.

2015:
-Ninjor's Bow and nunchucks
-Lack of Snake Form on King Hsss (was supposed to come with BS Hordak, but New team screwed up)
-Derp Eye on Angella
-Non removable armor on Blast Attack or ANY ATTEMPT TO SIMULATE his action feature.
That's the end of Boners under Neitlich:

Here's where the New Team begins to shine... Remember the whole throwing Neitlich under the bus, not releasing subpar items, etc.
-Rotar and Twistoid NOT offered in Early Access to Subscribers
-BS Hordak wasted HSSSS's tooling on a useless replica of Hordak's action feature
-Perfuma's Super heavy Flower.
-Fat Armor on FF He-Man.
-Laser Figures having bulky packs for super small batteries, Articulation and sculpt being compromised for Light up feature. Also ill fitting hood on Skeletor.
-Point Dread Teela's face. Lesser quality sculpted floor.

The only Item with solution was King Hssss's snake torso... and the solution was delayed twice!

2016:
-Masque: Delayed
-Vultak delayed until Late April or May depending on your sub type.
-King Hsss Delayed until March.
-Mattel admits that scalpers have been bypassing their security with bots.

That's ignoring the Filmation Sub-line with He-Man's horrible ankles.


Yes, if we compare Neitlich's entire run vs the new team, of course, he'll have more boners on his side. But if we go with the first 10 months of Neitlich vs the New team's current 10 month run, we can see that there were less boners on Neitlich's belt compared to the new team. In fact, most blunders come in the Ruben era of MOTUC. This speaks leagues of Ruben's incompetence as a Toy designer. While there are still some Neitlich boners (mostly out of his desire to kiss ass), Ruben was what did more damage to MOTUC making even Digital River seem tame in comparison.

Now the new team did release some subpar items in 2015... and they have done their best to fix those issues for 2016. With that said, we can't ignore that ALL MOTUC 2016 items have had some sort of issue causing a delay. In Neitlich's entire run there have been only 4 delays. Merman, Kobra Khan, Palace Guards, and Demo-Man. New Team caught up in less than a year.

What I'm trying to say is not #BringbackToyguru but, that the New Team is NOT Unicorns and Rainbows. They DID improve a few things that weren't as great in the Neitlich era, but they got worse in other areas. Transparency is borderline INVISIBILITY with Matty. People find out about most issues via random emails that some customers get than official announcements (on FB or their forums) In some cases answers must be pried out of them via Q&A sessions. Hell, my Blastic He-Man will reach me BEFORE Vultak does.

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