Jan 9, 2017

Shakira wrote a Dora the Explorer Storybook...

Is it me or does Dora kinda looks like Ma-Ti? 
Sure it was like 7 years ago, but I saw the book today... Needless to say, I got a copy...

For a Children's book, I gotta say, Shakira manages to do self-insertion better than me, or a professional. Also, Doraverse Shakira looks hot, for a cartoon character... But to be fair, Shakira looks hot in any universe. To my understanding a percentage of the books' costs would go to the barefoot foundation to help children receive supplies for their education.
Is that Purple thing what I think it is?

I could be a bit of an ass and make an in-depth analysis of the book. Well, I shall... First: Shakira owes me an explanation:
What the Hell is the woman from Eyes Like Yours doing? On the English Version:
Oh, you know I have seen a woman of means in rags and begging for pleasure.

Spanish Version:
Ayer vi pasar a una mujer debajo de su camello.
(Yesterday, I saw a woman pass by beneath her camel.)

So, the woman of means in rags and begging for pleasure BENEATH HER CAMEL??? How can you get pleasure under a camel? But, I know, let's nitpick the crap out of the story:

You know what BGM we want...
 OK, so Dora is getting ready for "El Día Mundial de la Escuela"... It's Dora, I have to add random things in Español in order to have the full Experiencia de Dora.

So, Dora wants everyone on Earth to have a party for "El Día Mundial de la Escuela" and they're gonna be on Skype and stuff with Shakira popping up at a school on apparently, Brazil. (Based on the map pic where she departs to Ethiopia.) So, that would take about 12 hours on a plane.
Then she went to India (About 6 hours via plane) but she went on train, which might take more time. She then went to Cambodia (about 7 hours on a plane) but she went on an elephant, which means it took her a lot more time. then from Cambodia to Brazil, on a plane is about 25 hours... Dora went on an air balloon, which means she took a lot more.

See my issue: Shakira has a terrible notion of time. Seriously, she went to this little rainforest school in Brazil and was there for like 2-3 days waiting on for Dora.
My next issue:

No Swiper....
Aw man!
But other than that, Shakira made a simple story that fit within the format it was going to be released.

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