Apr 1, 2015

Metal Gear Movie gets a Screenwriter!?

And a Director!?
*Breep Breep!* *Breep! Breep!*

Hello Snake! Weren't you supposed to be dead?

-Dead? No! All that FOXDIE Mutation killing me in a year is BS. Didn't you hear Raiden in Revengeance say I'm alive?

You're using a game with questionable canon as an excuse to say you're alive. Also Konami kicked out Hideo...

-They kicked out Hideo? Those Bastards...

By the way, they're making a fim adaptation of one of your exploits, (Most likely Shadow Moses) but we talked about that already.

-Tell me they cast Bella Thorne as Meryl... I miss Shake it up!

Uh, Snake... I know you like them young but STOP THAT CRAP! NOW!! *ahem!* As I was saying, The Metal Gear Movie has a Director... Some dude named Jordan Vogt Roberts... who has directed the following movies:
The Kings of Summer...
That's it! He's directed a few Funny or Die episodes and a few TV Movies.

-DAMN! At least they'll get a good screenwriter who is better known for his work on the Metal Gear Series as the sexiest voice in the Universe... Also &^%$ you Queefer Sutherland!

No, Snake, they didn't think of having David Hayter, a man who REALLY KNOWS his Metal Gear, and happens to be a Screenwriter. Not to mention that the movies he's done the script for have been better received than the movies written by Jay Basu, the guy they actually picked.

-I kinda wish we had gotten Michael Bay...

Wanna know the scary part? I'm almost wishing for him too!

-Wait! Today is April 1st! You're pulling my leg here! You don't pull the leg of a man who can beat Nuclear Capable Bipedal Tanks on a Weekend.

Yes, Snake. Today IS April 1st, but if you click on the link to the article. You'll see that it's a MARCH 31st article... We are screwed!

-I got to go! It's Mission time! I must assassinate a few Konami execs, Queefer Sutherland, Jordan Vog- whatever his name is and Jay Basu...

Snake... Don't that's what Liquid would do.

-No. Liquid would swing his right arm while doing over the top, hammy, gestures while chewing up ALL THE SCENERY on a long-winded speech instead of breaking their necks! But yeah, I get it. Don't be the bad guy.

I guess you'll call me when I get to do another MGS Movie rant...   

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