May 7, 2014

Holy Crap! I just saw the non-Turtle TAINT toys!!

Whoa!! They are UG-LEE!!
I've ranted before about the Turtle designs being ugly, but now with official pics from the toys, well I'm appalled by them.

Let's start with April, who seems to have something hidden in her crotch area... I could give you a hint...  → → → → →
But that's not the only weird thing. Her Proportions seem off
and I'm trying to not make jokes about Megan's thumbs.
BTW Her face looks NOTHING LIKE Megan Fox.
She kinda looks like a ginger Drew Barrymore 20 years ago.

What the Hell did they do to the Foot Ninja... Or Soldier...
He looks like a Generic Soldier Toy who wears  a lame mask.

Splinter takes the cake of awfulness!!!
He's a Rat so, Big Front Teeth (buckteeth)... A top-knot Hairstyle and a Fu Manchu Mustache... Add a Kimono, Sandals and a Kimono and we have a SUPER Racist stereotype... In all fairness, most recent versions of Splinter had the long beard, but the 2014 version takes the most racist elements and kicks them up to a hundred... I'm surprised they didn't gave him squinty eyes.

I've no real complaints with Flasher Turtle, since that one is common in multiple continuities... That's the best looking toy from the bunch since it looks LIKE AN ACTUAL TMNT CHARACTER... But the long plastic coat most likely hinders a LOT of articulation.

I left Howaito Shredder for last because... WTF!? Spiked Metal Cape... Talk about impractical. He's got more spikes than normal. Shoulders, Biceps, Forearms... How can he move without getting his arms tangled with the spikes?  That Helmet looks more Shao Kahn than Shredder.
I KINDA LIKE the sort of Face on his abdomen... a nod to the Utrom Shredder, perhaps?

One thing is certain though, I'm saving a lot of money by not buying these.
Meanwhile the nick version keeps throwing bones to old farts like me!

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