Aug 27, 2014

It Came from the toy chest: Skeletor: Rubenized Edition

New Adventures Skeletor, voiced by the late Campbell Lane has Finally gotten a Figure in Masters of the Universe Classics...

I don't think I need to do an Intro to Skeletor... Do I?
OK, so once we get Skeletor out of the package: The Nightmare begins.

Bloated armor, no neck, the shoulders seem a bit off, and hyper gummy hands.
Skeletor can't hold crap with them... also his Staff has a very thick shaft that warps his gummy hands!

Now that we are in Total Darkness and I won,
Who needs Beastman and Evil Lyn when I have
my new best friends Ben and Jerry!
As you can see,  I'm getting the complaints out of the way before tackling the Figure in the rating part of the review.

I understand that Mattel was trying to save some money while making this variant that had a lot of new Tooling. Sadly, the design team *cough*Ruben*cough* made a ton of bad choices with Skeletor. I'll start with the armor.
It's not supposed to be Armor, but his flesh. Skeletor has a NON-REMOVABLE cape which could have allowed for design to hide the armor tabs on the back (and made Skeletor look less bulky.)  Nope! The next issue is on the neck. Battle Armor He-Man, Count Marzo and a few other figures have a longer neck peg that Mattel design did not use on this Skeletor who has an overlay on his neck, which can ride upand make the already nearly neckless Skeletor look like he has even LESS Neck. The worst offense is that he has tabs as if his skin was removable, but they glued the Armor... there go my plans to make a NA Faker...

To be fair, not all is Doom and Gloom with Skeletor. Warning! Impending Crotch shot of an undead Blue Cyborg. they finally did a proper Male Underpant piece that works like undies and not a loincloth or a Skirt... Here's hoping that Brandon Sopinsky can pull it off for the remaining female figures!!

Holy crap! I have said something nice about Ruben Martinez... Seems that the Total Darkness event is seeping into the real world...

Had Skeletor not been cursed by the bloated Armor; he'd kick a LOT MORE butt than he does now.

He-Man: Really? People think that you're me?
Faker: Of course they do! All I have to do is end my speeches
with some holier than thou moral and Until next time!
He-Man: Dang you ARE Good!
Faker: No, I'M EVIL, Until Next Time!
I gotta say that the NA Havok staff looks cool, even if it's pretty much a one color piece. I think it has a mild wash, but I can't be sure of that.  The Other Accessory is the Fakeminator Head, which looks fantastic on Faker! If I had a Battle Armor Faker, that Battle Damaged head would be perfect for him... I'm almost tempted to paint the normal Faker head in the same Orange as the Damaged head.
Put that Cookie Down! Get to da Choppa! NOW!

 Now for the part we've been waiting for: The Ratings part:

Articulation: Mine has a few poa blocked, due to the armor. (Neck, abs and partial movement of the shoulders.)  Feet were stuck thanks to wet paint. 3.5
Paint and Sculpt: The new parts are fantastic and the paintjob is superb. Had a few paint chips on the feet, because of the stuck joints 4.0
Accessories: Helmet (seriously considering blu tac, because it falls off at awkward times when posing him. Cool Havok staff, but with a thick shaft. Translation, only Skeletor 1.0 can hold the NA staff. It's funny, He-Man's NA sword also has a thicker shaft.
The Overall Score for NA Skeletor is 4.0 which is pretty good for such a flawed figure. Had he not had the issues that he had, he might have scored somewhat higher.

As an added Bonus: a Total Darkness Side Story Man out of Subs:
While Spector was away from the Timeline and the main story was moving forward at Diary of a Dorkette. He forgot to do the Club Eternia Sub Drive for 2015... Luckily the He-Fans and She-Ravers picked up the slack, (seriously, what am I going to do after MOTUC ends?) and Club Eternia barely made it. Fellow Time Travelers have come and gone while trying to save their worlds. What's a man to do when he's beyond the reach of time and has become Eternal?

Last Time on Dragon Ball Z... I mean Eternia:

He-Man: I have the power!
 Skeletor: YOU! You will no longer stand between me and my destiny!
 He-Man: But I will! I told you that it's always between us!
 Skeletor: I ache to smash you out of existence! To drive your cursed face from my memories forever!
 He-Man: Enough talk!
 Skeletor: YES! Let this be our final battle! 

He-Man: You've been saying that since 1987...
Skeletor: So what!? This time I shall be victorious!! 
He-Man: the day I become a Country Singer and begin to wear Skinny Jeans will be the day you'll win!Skeletor: When you become a Country Singer, I'll get into Techno and THEN I'll Kill you!

Few years Later and a Total Darkness Event!

Skeletor: I told you I would get into Techno!!
He-Man: Don't tell my heart... I'm not doing this...
Skeletor: Damn right, you're not! I won! I won! I freaking won!
I came in like a wrecking ball! 

Madame Razz (reading): Then, Skeletor walked towards his musclebound and sweaty rival. He swiftly removed He-Man's hairband and released the younger man's blonde locks. "You look more handsome this way" said the overlord of evil. He-Man was about to protest when a mechanical finger pressed against his lips. "I'd kiss you, but my current lipless state won't allow me to." Oh deary my!
Spector: Do you like it? You haven't reached the best part...
Broom (thinking): Oh, Madame, what mess have you gotten us into... It was Out of LIME!! If I read another horrible yaoi fanfic about He-Man and Skeletor, I swear I'm going to snap! No it's not a wood pun!
Madame Razz: There's... More? Oh deary my!
Spector:  Of course there's more! You will be able to read it all since we're all alone in here!

Madame Razz: Oh deary my! Razzle Dazzle, Weary Lime! Let me return to my own time!
Broom: Wait for meeeeeeeeee!
Spector: Hey Mop! I found volume 43!

To be Concluded

Now for the Behind the scenes stuff.
-This spawned because of my jokes about He-Man becoming the MOTU Billy Ray Cyrus on my ancient NA He-Man review. I had the whole Evolution of He-Man and Skeletor pics planned for the review. I had a Spector story ready as well as an extra one shot, so I combined them.

-The reason why Spector is writing Horrible MOTU fan fiction is a tongue in cheek nod to Toyguru (creator of Spector) who happens to be the main writer in Official MOTUC fiction (Mini comics written by Scott Neitlich)

-I chose Madame and Broom as the victims of Spector's writing just to make the I'm going to snap comment. Also, Madame's magical screw-ups could justify her ending up beyond the edge of time.

-The whole yaoi fanfic thing is a nod to horrible writers who started their careers by writing horrible erotic fanfics... *cough* E.L. James*cough* Speaking of E.L. James, do you know what Fifty shades of Grey was BEFORE being Fifty Shades of Grey? A Horrible Twilight Fanfic (Reference to Edward who was in the past story) that was called Master of the Universe... Since Skeletor calls himself Master of the Universe in the 1987 movie... you see where I'm going with this.

-While not intentionally, pairing He-Man and Skeletor also works as a nod to the old and tired, He-Man is gay joke.

-The Original Spector story involved the DKR Batman and Spector being stuck in the Edge of Time. Spector was supposed to annoy Batman... Asking for spoilers about Total Darkness, trying to set up a God Damned Batman reference. 

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