Toycember Bonus It Came from the Toy Chest 26: Alleged Former Ric Flair bodyguard whose ass I kicked once

 

I've mentioned that my Mom knew a guy who claimed he was a bodyguard for Ric Flair. He showed me a pic of him and Flair in the mid 90s. The only thing that I can confirm is that in one occasion he was in the same room as Ric Flair. I kinda believed the story until I kicked his ass. I'm in no way an efficient martial artist/fighter/brawler. So, kicking a "bodyguards ass" just because I'm fat has made me doubt that story. Then again, he also claimed to have reflex neurovascular dystrophy due to an injury. Making me have an unfair advantage.



I showed my brother the figure and my intentions of repainting him. Here's what he said:

"Cabrón, Esa figura se parece a *name redacted*. ¿No me digas que lo compraste para burlarte de él?"

Basically, he admonished me for wasting money on a Joke only I would understand. So, I will NOT repaint Hunter into *Name Redacted*. Update 5 days later: I did. Now I'm debating buying a UWC Announcer for the body and a Mattel Ric Flair to recreate the pic.

So, since Hunter is going to remain Hunter,(future Nefty update, he didn't. That's what happens when I rant out of chronological order) I need to give him a worthy last name. Hunter E. Krieger. The E stands for Eduardo. Yes, the resemblance to a dead person is apparent.

Let's tackle the review now:

The T-Rex pose is a nod to him.

Articulation:

Sadly, the overlay slightly hinders the articulation. Other than that, he has the same style of articulation as the Wrestling Crew figures and the other Male fans figures.

4.0

The hood and gun were random accessories I bought from Figures Toy Company as well.

Paint and sculpt:Parts seem to be molded in a single color with paint on the face, shoes, and belt. The sculpting is a hybrid between realistic and stylized. The head sculpt is a bit on the cartoony side and it's somewhere between excited and deranged.

4.5

Hunter: The Boss has put a bounty on your head, little girl.
Let's make it easy for everyone and come with me.
Karen: Go eat a bag of dicks
Nefty (VO) LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRREEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYY
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSS!!

Accessories:

The same hands as all the other figures, nine extra hands in total. I wish he had a bit more though.

5.0

Karen: Thanks for the support, fat creep, but
I had it under control
Hunter: Ow!
Nefty: Are you OK?
Karen: Do you want me to Buster Wolf you?
Nefty: Nick would kill me if you get hurt.
Karen:  Wanna be helpful, help me keep this creep subdued.

Overall:
Hunter gets a 4.5 as his final score. He's OK, but he could be better. Mainly it's the C-grips. I had to force the gun for the single pose and it kept falling off. I'm seriously thinking getting an extra set of hands, heat mod the grip and if necessary glue the gun to it. Hopefully, FTC will improve upon the hands and make an additional set to be useful with the accessories they sell on THEIR WEBSITE.

Hunter: Ow! You're pulling my hair!
Nefty: Holy shit! He is a low rank Turtelli goon!
Karen: So I can kill him and no one would care?
Nefty: No killing, Karen. Detective Cocaine is on your heels. But, there's nothing wrong IF *I* do. It's been ages since I've had human liver...
Hunter: Wait what?
Karen: He's a cannibal and a Negrophile.
Hunter: He fucks corpses?
Karen: No. He fucks black chicks because despite being a fat cracker, his cock is black and he's bi... *winks*
Nefty: Ah yes, and your virgin ass is begging for a BBC tearing through it.
Hunter: Oh God, please don't!!

Hunter: Fuck this shit, I'm out!
Nefty: Whoooaa!
Karen: Wooooooh!

I caved and ended up repainting his hair to match the guy... Had Temu existed back when Mom was alive she'd likely slap the back of my head so hard if I called him Temu Eddie Guerrero.

Miguel: 🎶Miguelita la Mapeadora...
La que trabaja por pocos reales!
Nefty VO: What the fuck are you doing here!?
Miguel: Your Mom!
Nefty VO: You asked for it, motherfucker!!

Toycember bonus it came from the toy chest: Base for a Biblically accurate Nefty

 

Figures Toy Conpany made the Wrestling Fan sub line. I already reviewed Karen. I got some other figures for reviewing at a later date. This time it's Shawn's turn.

I got this first Shawn in order to make a Biblically Accurate Nefty-kun since the previous Nefty-kun evolved into Nick R. Cade. It's possible that I'll get a second Shawn to keep as is. Neftyverse Canon Shawn will be a guy who looks like Nefty but isn't Nefty. Kinda like how people confuse Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana.

So, the one time you'll see Shawn Jaeger... yes it's a reference. Is here:

German dude doing an Irish jig awfully...
For that Shawn Jaeger will dye!

I tried to remove his facepaint with acetone. I sneezed and spilled some on his shirt. You have been warned.

Nefty: Uh, h-hey Amber! I was uh, wondering if, uh, you'd like to g-go out with, uh, me?
Amber: I have a boyfriend!
Nefty: Congrats! I-I hope he's, uh, a great guy that treats you,uh, w-well! I-I got to uh, go! Uh, I'm not c-crying, it's,  uh, allergies.
Kaylee: Sissy, doesn't he look like a fat Mr. Nick?

Articulation

The figure has OK articulation.  His fat body has some Articulation restrictions that slimmer figures lack. The arms require double jointed elbows to reach the 90° angle that a single joint elbow does on a slim figure. Legs fare a bit better though, but it can be a bitch to get the lower half of the knee going. There are no ankle rockers.

3.5

Nefty: Hey! It's K-Karen! Have you, uh, see-ugh!!
Karen: Sommersault! That's what you get for messing with Jade!

Paint and sculpt 

I'm going on the original Shawn, not my butchered up Nefty repaint.

The sculpt is essentially a fatter and bigger version of the Children but with Sandals instead of the Chuck Taylors. It's scary how much this figure is to what I wear on my leisure time.

Most of the paint job is in the face. Pretty much everything else is molded in the appropriate color.

4.5

*ringtone*
Jade: Did you just jizzed our pants?
Nefty: D-dude, you're rubbing your, uh, c-cake all over, uh, my chorizo. OF COURSE! I'll c-cum when uh, a smexy girl, uh, rubs her booty, uh, on GAAHH!
Jade: Again!? I don't know if I should feel insulted or complimented... Can you go for three? 

Accessories

Like the other figures, he has

Dramatic hands 

Judo chop hands

Fists

C-grips (these are a bit wider than MOTUC weaponry.)

Pointing finger

Cellphone hand

Accessory hand

5.0

Myahh! Castle Grayskull will be mine!

Overall

Shawn gets a 4.33 as his final score. Personally I hope the "next gen" comes with a long pants and shoes fat body. Short and full sleeves business shirts with ties. And a head that resembles Jeffrey Jones in the late 1990s. With Black hair... just so I can have the pieces to make a custom Burne Thompson since Super7 is highly unlikely to do one now. Heck! I'd also would enjoy Sleeveless t-shirts. Preferably red shirt, blue pants with a fully bald head... for no reason at all... except Pizzaface.