Nov 15, 2009

Odd Toy commercials.

I'm stoked because on the 16th He-Man will be back on sale at matty collector's website. I browsed the internet in order to find old MOTU toy ads. I saw the Ram man ad.

Ram Man the only toy that has ALAWYS sucked in MOTU. Here he is in all its vintage glory.
Seeing this ad made me wonder about odd/weird toy ads. Since I already showed board game ads in my previous message I shall refrain from reusing ads from that topic.

There's nothing odd in this ad. But this product is prone for players copping a feel, dry humping (in order to maintian balance) and could lead into other non-family-friendly activities. Then there's the darkside of twister... Farters, the ones that scrunch the mat, the pushers...

C'mon! Now not only the TMNT are kidnapping children, but they're showing them through tight holes... (Those poor kids must arrive with a buch of broken bones at their destination... Their reward TMNT toys that look better than the actual procuct!!

pretty straightforward, but this ad suffers from the mid 80s - late 90s toy commercial syndrome. They show the product plain and symple but use a beautiful professional made background in scale with the figures...Such a shame I couldn't find the "Secret Weapon Force" commercial. Now that one has 70% more weird.

Ok... Now THIS is why I play Yu-Gi-Oh! (and training in case I need to save the world by playing a children's card game...) Did you see the ad? The cards can revive me EVEN if I'm broken into millions of pieces... Not only that, I can become a cool winged monster with wolverine claws if I cross two cards over my head... IF I add this...

Pure Yu-Gi-Oh! Winning combination... The odd thing about this one is how kids follow around an animated character... (who happens to be the biggest douchebag of the show) to an abandoned warehouse where they play children's card games... Where are their parents?
I'm ashamed to say that I own one of those duel disks... (THe Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Duel Disk is better (does not damage your cards...) Curse you Seto Kaiba and your beautiful 3 blue eyes white dragons!!!

I said that I'd try to avoid boardgames, but this game had me worried about the welfare of those children. They had to sneak around in their own home to get food. They are completely terrified of their father. They fear that he wakes up or else...
Why haven't they gotten a neighbor, a teacher a minister or rabbi to help them with their "Evil Father". We know he underfeeds them and he might do worse things. He also looks like Proctor from Police Academy...

BAD TOUCH!!! BAD TOUCH!! Now call your parents, teacher, counselor minister or rabbi if someone touches you with these. I'd be worried about whoever designed this toy... I'd be checking out whoever designed the Nimbus 2000 toy broom that vibrates... Vibrating things on kids crotches? How did that went beyond the drawing board amazes me... Thanks to this horrendous toy (The Elmo Hands) now the song Touch by Stan Bush is playing in my head... ♪You got the touch! You got the poweeeeer!♫

B-A-R-B-I-E feeds her dog its feces... wow! I know that dogs sometimes eat their poop, but I never expected having the owner feed the dog poop.

Well there is little to say about this. Sgt. Slaughter in GI Joe. That's just so weird. Hopefully for the sequel to Rise of Cobra we won't have Triple H or John Cena as a Joe... though Cena would've been a better Duke than Channing Tatum.

If Elmo hands are bad, then I don't know what to make about this... I feel dirty just by watching this commercial...

May Prime be with you.

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