Redesigning Pizzaface to appease Playmates: a rant

 This is REALLY hard: because Pizzaface has a lot going against him.

• He has no other media appearances outside Shredder's Revenge. 
  
• Kyle from Super7 gets grossed out by him. (That's the whole point, Kyle)
• Playmates will most likely bitch for changes if it's design was in-house.
• Vintage Purists will always moan in case of changes.

 So, as I said, Pizzaface has a lot against him. Sadly, Changes are a necessity. So, I want to spitball some ideas to "tweak" Pizzaface and change him enough for Playmates to not freak out, but keep him "close enough" to Classic Pizzaface. 

Due to new articulation, he won't look EXACTLY like Vintage from the get go.

Specifically the weird crotch and left leg sculpt. That needs to change as the sculpt is illogical. The way it currently sits is anatomically impossible. I KNOW what they were trying to do but the sculpting and engineering kinda failed here.

It's all due to the pizza box. With Modern articulation that issue can be fixed. That would also require his peg leg to get SOME articulation. I'm thinking the stump would be at mid thigh, so he loses knee articulation but can move his leg a bit more. I will deal with the pizza box issues in the accessories section of the rant. Also the legs would be placed properly, since technology can do that now.

See Blob, The. We can have Pizzaface being FAT and mostly posable. Many of his poses can end up with him a bit lopsided due to his pegleg being above the knee. (It's on Purpose)

Of course, I don't want a Blob Sized Pizzaface. I'm thinking something slightly bigger than the Turtles, but chunky like Slash.

Now here come the most hated part: The other changes in sculpt and paintjob.paint job. 

Let's start with his shirt. Instead of being a wife eater, the shirt is a T-shirt that got its sleeves torn off, the neck widened and turned into a tanktop. It should be red but not the bright toy red, but a dirty red. Basically giving frayed edges to the vintage tanktop so "it's different from Playmates". 

He would lose waist articulation to preserve the plastic Apron BUT the knife is removable. The bottles and implements on his back are properly painted.

The Apron should obviously be dirty and in a grimy off-white color. The pants will be a dirty olive green instead of blue... it's an Easter egg.

He's sporting the colors of the Italian Flag... despite the only Italian thing he has is his pizzeria and is not authentic Italian. 

Last but not least: his left foot should be a partially broken Neon green croc... Neon green is a nod to the Ooze and the croc is a nod to Mario Batali, which will be the inspiration for the "Modern" Pizzaface head.

Leg Accessories:

Here we have a few things to peg on the leg:

• Gangrenous stump: Self explanatory. It's what his leg looks like without the attachments. This plugs into the pant hole.
• The Attachment cap: this plugs into the pant hole and lrts you plug the different attachments.
• Cleaver: works just like you remember. Can be held on his hands or used as a peg leg
• Pizza peel: This one is new but has a similar function
• Freed Pizza cutter: This one is new but inspired by vintage.
• Stuck Pizza Cutter with a slightly more bent corner on pizza box (to use on wider stances)
• Rolling pin: is the closest thing to am actual peg leg. He would be with this one in box for the sake of "being different enough from Playmates"

The parts that plug to the attachment cap are also his weapons.

We have to give up the Ninja Pizza Box shield to appease Playmates. But I'm sure fans will 3Dprint solutions

I need to give him Head: He has 8.

No, I've not gone mad... yet. I mean there are no MuTeen Interruptions on this rant. Thanks Zoloft. 

• "Modern" head, aka the in card head: Take Mario Batali's head, knock a few teeth out and give it Pizzaface proportions. Plus add a prototype siamese twin madball head that can be covered by the hat. Making it look like another Mario Batali.
• Prototype head: This head would be the Vintage based head but made to look like the prototype, not the actual figure, including the siamese head.
• Shredder's Revenge head: This head is somewhat close to the vintage head, BUT it has far more egg shape to it, ears are longer and a larger jaw. It also comes with a siamese head.
• Lawson Comic strip head with eyebrows and the dynamite fuse mustache.

Now for the hands:

The usual hands, but left hands are modified for Pizzaface's missing pinky.

C-crips for his Apron knife

Wide c-grips for the leg attachment

Fists

Dramatic

Pizza flinging

(Right hand only) Italian gesture 🤌

Other accessories:

Apron knife

3× pizzas

Now, this will not appease Kyle, but it should calm Playmates down. Gimme Pizzaface!!