Nov 23, 2018

For the Dishonor of Grayskull: Noelle Stevenson's She-Ra: the rant. *language*

It wasn't the expected trainwreck...

But it wasn't great either. It was a smidge above mediocre, and had some potential... kinda like Civet cat poop that it may have some divine coffee beans, but the rest is literal shit. If that's a way to describe Noelle Stevenson's pop cultural appropriations of She-Ra, so be it.

The good:
They DO TRY some world building stuff, that in more competent hands, or even Scott Neitlich's hands, we could have a decent world building.
Sea Hawk is GLORIOUS!! Who would've thought that ruining Sea Hawk by turning him into a gayer Don Karnage would make that douche likable!?
The Catra/Adora sibling rivalry IS a good idea... execution leaves a lot to be desired.
Hordak was a badass evil despot, despite the Pidgeotto hairdo.

The bad:
Noelle Stevenson tried waay too hard to out-Neitlich Scott Neitlich. No seriously, Multiple She-Ra throughout the ages, ripping off other properties and forcing them into the brand... forcing odd ships, among other things.... at least Scott didn't force himself as a voice actor (Noelle Stevenson's playing Spinnerella)

The ugly:
Remember all the promos about the show having ALL OF THE HOMO? Well it was more disappointing than the whole Hermione and the CGI beast's infamous gay scene.
All we had was a couple of names dropped. The Adora/Catra relationship with "implied lesbian undertones". Bow fanboying over Sea Hawk, while acting as the perennial gay best friend forever, and Netossa and Spinnerella who we don't know what they do... as a background joke who got SOME USE in the final episode of the season.
All that bark and no bute in the end.
Inconsistent art. The proportions changed across the map on characters with no rhyme or reason.
Voice acting was atrocious across the board. Entrapta was like a coked up Urkel, but made more annoying. Everyone is shouting and bickering most of the time.
Glimmer is the second most annoying character with all the shouting and bickering... Noelle Stevenson's made me hate on Glimmer... let that sink in.
Curious fact: Perfuma is played by Genesis Rodriguez, daughter of  Venezuelan Songer, actor, and Viagra Spokesperson, El Puma... but she plays a screechier version of Honey Lemon. Which seems to be a common problem with this show. It's like everyone tries to one-up each other in the annoying scale. So much shouting!

The characters do not resemble themselves. They are incredibly incompetent... Adora, trained her whole life in the art of war, is unable to hold her sword aloft WITHOUT tripping like a moron. Don't get me started on "Horsey"...


The worst part is that the bones for a good show are there... it's the She-Ra brand that drags it down. There is an obvious disdain towards She-Ra in the final product and the references feel as if they were "forced mandates from the Toy Company".  But any criticism = "sexism, racism, homophobia, and body shaming"... also, did I mention the song being ass?

We're ruining greatness!
Turning the brand into crap!
We're right beside you ready to whine!
We're gonna barf in the end!
We must suck ass and we must be lame!
We must find every good bit and turn it into crap!
We must be wrong!

Avoid like the plague!!!

Nov 22, 2018

Pondering on my own mortality...

The death of Stan Lee and an illness that has hit me HARD!! Has made me ponder on my own Mortality.
In the end, I am human, a fallible creature, mortal, with an expiration date is a scary thing... Don't get me wrong, the pestilent breath of the rider of the pale horse is one scary thing, but it's not my time. Not yet. There is too much to see and whine about before I return to the Planet.

The thing is that Stan Lee figured out who he was and carved his name on Destiny. He became The Man, through a lot of sacrifice... Same thing with Elton John, who luckily, is still amomg us. Two men who made it... for every tale of victory, there is a thousand tales of defeat and failure... Now you can see where I'm going with this. Being sick and feeling hopelessness opened my eyes... WHO AM I? I'm an asshole with a blog who whines about toys, videogames, TV shows, and movies. Feels petty and empty in the grand scheme of things, y'know... I have been called "good son", "good brother", "responsible", "the best of friends", among other things... Somehow,  while it's good to be acknowledged, it kinda feels empty... because I have no legacy. I'm not talking about Genetic Legacy, because I refuse to pass on my cursed genes.  I REFUSE to keep the old man's legacy alive. His accursed genetic lineage ENDS WITH ME!!!  (Talk about "daddy issues".) I cannot handle the responsibility of parenthood... and this goes beyond my hangups. I simply can't do it. It's not in my heart.

So, with that road to Legacy shut off, there must be another way. I TRIED becoming a Thespian, which didn't go well. My stutter, nerves, and delusions axed my own dreams if becoming an Actor... It didn't help having a family of Classically trained Thespians who overshadowed any of my attempts. How can a mouse compete against giants? It doesn't help having your psyche destroyed by the person who is supposed to build me up in order to survive in the world.

I kinda see how this could be interpreted as a "Woe is me" pity party. No. This is nothing like that. The issue here is that many of us will NOT achieve "greatness". Many of us will try AND FAIL, but at least we tried. Many if us will not transcend history and turn the hand of fate in our favor. When we die, people will speak of us in past tense... then they will no longer speak of us and we will be forgotten...

That is what I fear, not death, but oblivion. Right now I weep for the forgotten. Not knowing their names, their stories, but knowing well that one day, I WILL BE one of them. That's why I rant. I'm trying to feebly scratch my way on the tides of destiny. When I die, my rants will be a small window into my delirium... a bit if my soul preserved for posterity... a sort of digital ghost who refuses to simply become a memory...


So, yes. As I raise my cup full of medicine, join me to celebrate those untold stories of average Joes and plain Janes who crashed and burned worse than Icarus in their quest for greatness. Not only the winners need to be celebrated. Like Auron would say