Turtle variants: IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!

 So tempted to make some weird choices here.

Let's start with:

Casey Jones X:

A Cybernetic Casey Jones HEAVILY inspired bu über Jason from Jason X. His cyber hand would have swappable sports equipment parts.

Accessories:

Zero G Hockey stick

Lunar paddle (cricket)

Titanium 8 club

Hand attachments:

Jet bat

Mega certainly (jai alai)

Grenades

Volt racket

Space Case Mike:

Space Cadet Raph repaint in Orange with different chest designs and Kala of the Neutrinos on the wrist comm.

New heads:

Head with Space skullcap

Head with turtleized "power rangers helmet"

Accessories:

Space mini pizza

Laser tonfa

Space Hook sword 

Arm mounted foot buster (right handed arm cannon with cable that plugs to suit)

Baby Pizza monster.

Raph's goggles in orange

Domed helmet

Space Walking Don

Similarly to Michelangelo, he'll reuse a lot from Space Cadet Raphael, except he has new shins and forearms that are inspired by the Nightwatcher design. The outfit will be purple with brass colored metallic accents

Heads:

Space Cadet Raph skullcap Head repaint

New helmeted Head inspired by cylons

Accessories:

Laser Bo

Space multitool (nod to a sonic screwdriver, plugs to the suit via cable)

Photon shield 

New goggles inspired by Jinzo (the Yu-Gi-Oh card from Konami)

Small propulsion device inspired by the Sewer Swimming Donatello device, but made to look more spacey sci-fi-esque

Domed helmet

Space Leonardo:

A blue and silver repaint of Space Cadet Raph with his pads and bandana being much darker than the suit's blue. Thinking Cyan for the suit.

Heads:

New serene skullcap Head

New helmet head inspired by Break Man (a nod to Capcom's recent collaborations with TMNT...)

Accessories:

Photon swords

Goggles reminiscent of Cyclops

Tethered rifle

Yellow repaint of Raph's alien buddy

Glass dome helmet

April the Cosmic Reporter:

April in a yellow Astronaut suit reminiscent of the Space suit worn by 2012 April.

Heads:  

Normal

Hair tied up 

(Both heads have her sporting a small headset with mic.)

Accessories:

Blaster

Camera drone with stand

Photon dagger

Pizza Monster egg pizza.

Oztronaut Walkabout:

It's Walkabout in a lime green with sky blue accents space suit.

Heads:

Wearing skullcap 

Wearing his traditional hat

(Only the skullcap Head fits in the dome)

Accessories:

Cosmic Kid Kangie with tether

Lazerangs

Spacewalking stick (think Photon sword with long hilt removable photon effect)

Space Elephant blaster gun

Infected Slash:

Essentially Slash wearing a broken and tattered black spacesuit. Think a combination of Pizza Monster and Klyntar in a weird Pizza symbiote thing.

Heads: 

Normal Slash Head with skullcap

Head with the Pizza monster symbiote engulfing Slash's head

Accessories:

Broken Space helmet

Photon shield

Photon mace

Pizza symbiote arm attachments

Are

Oversized Pizza hand

Sword

Mace tip

Pizza Monster:

Vidually Based on the more Pizza-esque look from Shredder's Revenge. Think a Venomized Xenomorph with a pizza patterned symbiote (pronounced sim buy oat in this case)

Heads:

(Different expressions and level of gooeyness)

Accessories:

Swappable elongated arms

Xtra large pizza with removable "bump" (pizza monster rising from the pizza)

Cosmic Conqueror Shredder:

Picture Shredder with a Darth Vader inspired Helmet wearing a red Astronaut Suit  his hands have a port from which a Baraka styled Photon blade pops out (pair of first hands with Photon blades sculpted on.) There will be some metal plates on the areas where his spiked armor would normally be and their design would be reminiscent of cheese graters.

Heads:

Oroku Saki wearing a skullcap and his traditional facemask

Darth Vader inspired Helmet (Both heads should fit inside the dome)

Accessories:

Dome

Laser sword

Photon naginata

Space shield (riot shield shaped energy shield)

Dirk Savage:Space Mutant Hunter:

This would be a normal Dirk Savage figure with interchangeable arms and chest overlays. This is to have a "Close to normal looking" Savage and his Space variant.

Heads:

Neutral Savage

Cigar Savage

Angry Savage

(The non cigar heads should fit inside the dome)

Torso overlays:

Bandoliers and Epaulets based on the Original design:

Astronaut overlay with the breathing apparatus and fixture to attach dome

Interchangeable arms:

Normal tights without gloved hands

Baggy Astronaut arms with gloved hands

Accessories:

Dome

Rifle

Dual Blasters

Poacher net

Photon dagger

Electro cuffs

Liefeldian Blaster that also serves as a vehicle with stand. The dual blasters plug into holes and act as handlebars

Foot Soldier Endoskeleton:

As the name describes, it's a foot soldier without clothes. Why? Pizza Monster Symbiote (read as Sim buy oat) would wrap itself around the Robotic host and become a Cybernetic abomination: The Pizza Foot

Heads:

Endo Head

Partially covered by the pizza symbiote 

Fully covered by the pizza symbiote 

Accessories:

Pizza parts:

Slip on arm covers that simulate the foot armguards

Slip on neck piece that simulates the foot soldier neck piece

Weapons:

Titanium pizza wheel

Photon sword

Blaster

Rifle

Monster Pizzaface:

Essentially think Pizzaface but more pizzafied:

He lost the chef hat but half his face is being devoured by pizza. His arms are partially 0covered in pizza and he has two smaller string cheese tendrils coming out the torso. His missing leg looks like a pizza monster's while at the base of the foot lies the PF prosthesis and chef hat (think crap stuck on Muckman's foot). 

Heads:

Pizzaface Partially covered head

Pizza Monster-esque head

Accessories:

Pizza peel

Baby Pizza monster

Pizza monster egg pizza

As you can see the main inspirations for this "subline" were Aliens, Spider-Man, and well... let's say The Thing (not Ben Grimm, the horror movie) than Amogus.

TMNT Wave 13 speculation rant:

 By the looks of it I'll be missing out on wave 12 because Super7 is once again messing up shipping to Puerto Rico. There's no way in Hell I'll pay nearly $200 for a Michelangelo and Donatello. I thought they had fixed the issue when the last Thundercats wave had USPS shipping options to PR... Surprise!! They removed it. Oh well.

So, Wave 13: 1 new character, 1 new Martial Arts variant, 1 Turtle Variant, 1 redeco...

I'll be making 3 lists:

• What I'd like
• What I'd expect
• What I'd hate to see

So let's start with what I'd hate to see:

• Merdude
• Drunken Master Raphael
• Hose'm down Don
• "Mirage April" (blue and brown April 1 with corrected Skin color) swapping her reporter stuff for Mousers.

Now what I'd like to see:

• Irma
• Journey to the West Donatello (son wukong)
• Lt. Leo (yes, I'd give him UC Raph's coat and take a pic to show Cam Clarke on Facebook.)
• "TOON" Rocksteady (same rocksteady we got but swappable heads, new bandolier with wooden sword also, his skin tone is a bit lighter.)

What I'd expect:

• Napoleon Bonafrog
• Game of Death Michelangelo
• Heavy Metal Raph
• "Mirage" Shredder (same Shredder with new Oroku Saki head, new soft goods Mirage tunic)

That's it? I could pull off another... Let's call it the ⅛ assed wave.

• Shredder Elite: a foot soldier with new head and a halberd. Everything else is standard foot soldier weaponry and Shredder's soft goods cape.
• Street Fight Raphael: reusing Rocker Leo's body with new shins and Rappin' Mike feet, we put 2 Raph Heads, his Sai, Mike's Pizza box, and Casey's bats. (He's a reference to Beat'em-up games like Double Dragon)
• Metalhead Donatello: Metalhead repainted in Donatello colors with new twirling staff for his arm attachment.
• Baxter Stockman (African American) repaint Fly Baxter as an African American like his comic book counterpart.

Now here come the explanations for my choices:

What I'd hate:

I chose Merdude, because ot the missing vintage folks, he's the most uninteresting TO ME. I understand he has some fans,  but I'm not one of those. 

I chose Drunken Master Raphael because I needed to fill a martial arts movie Themed turtle slot and Raphael is my least favorite turtle. But a Drunken Master Turtle would be too hard to pass up and I'd be hating myself if I didn't get it despite not wanting one almost as much as I'd hate myself for getting one. 

I chose Hose'm down Donbecause it's another Fuck you Nefty, you ain't getting a Don the Undercover Turtle variant. Also, it's a fuck you to those who want Hot Spot.

I chose Mirage April, because it's a fucking rip-off. It's same April but with less stuff. Not even new arms and lower legs to be more accurate.

What I'd like:

I chose Irma because I can't choose Pizzaface AND we need some Channel 6 folks (also I'm salty for missing out on the NECA Channel 6 set.) Also, I need an Irma after the Robot Reaper review.

I picked Son Wukong Donatello, because It's the closest thing we would ever get to a Dragon Ball themed Ninja Turtle.

Do I even need to explain Lieutenant Leo? It's a Cam Clarke reference. Everyone knows how much I love Cam Clarke. 

I picked Toon Rocksteady as a redeco, because he's "easier for S7" and would force me to repaint my Rocksteady back to black... which would be a nice "Fuck You Nefty!"

What I'd expect:

I picked Napoleon because of the remaining 1990 figures (Napoleon, Pizzaface, Fugitoid, Panda Khan, and Storage Shell Don) he was the only viable choice that isn't either "stuck in legal red tape", Kyle hates it, or is a variant that "can't be made" with modern Engineering. Also with him on board; We could potentially get two repaints and make the remaining two punk frogs.

I chose a Game of Death inspired Michelangelo For obvious reasons. It's a much better idea than an Enter the Turtle figure.

I picked Heavy Metal Raphael to round up the Music Turtles. Because not giving me Don the Undercover Turtle is another "Fuck You Nefty!"

I picked Mirage Shredder, because it's an easy repaint. It pushed an Oroku Saki head and almost gives us a Toon Shredder... or a Wacky Action tribute.

Now the ⅛ assed wave: This was an attempt at being lazier than Mattel with the vintage Masters of the Universe line. (Cam Clarke voiced Leonardo and He-Man, there's your connection) just as Blue He-Man with Skeletor armor is a new character or Green Beastman with flocking is a new character or Sy-Klone with Zodac's head is a new character type of thing. At most only 3 items/bodyparts are new. Everything else is preexisting parts.

I picked Shredder Elite because it's an army builder. So, it could be re-released at a later date.

The Street Fight Raphael, like I stated was a nod to Beat'em-up games. It was the easiest Martial Arts theme I could fill in without many new parts. I could have gone even lazier and used the entire Rocker Leo body,  but it would've been way on the nose for the Double Dragon reference.

Metalhead Donatello, while Technically not a vintage figure, it expands the "Metalhead series" Also, it's a nod to the IDW comics where Donatello had his conscience inside Metalhead for a little while. 

AA Baxter is a lazy repaint that could lead to more requests for Human Baxters... Also, there aren't many vintage figures that I could get away with repaints... Aside an Archie Comics inspired Slash,  I mean

Who are the next 4 2k3 TMNT figures?

 We only know that they're Toon Based, which could also mean Black and white First appearance variants AND 1987 Turtles are possible:

Thanks to Turtles Forever we have a crossover with the Prime Turtles a the 1987 Toon Turtles. I hate myself for saying this but I would most likely rebuy the 1987 turtles if they come with double jointed articulation from the 2k3 line.

But I don't see that happening any time soon. Maybe in 2029.

Now let's see: I sense 3 Shredder figures:

Shredder, Oroku Saki, and Utrom Shredder.

Or 4 if we count Karai dressed as Shredder... but I don't see this one coming so soon. 

I'm going to guess that either Saki or Utrom Shredder might be the first release. 

Another candidate would be Master Splinter. This would make so much sense. 

Casey Jones is a Logical Choice... That I'm not looking for To Upgrade Nick R.Cade... not at all.

April is another logical choice...

But those 4 are the obvious "safe choices"...

As DW just said, Let's get Dangerous!

Foot Ninja, obvious and safe...

Hun... he's a big boi... errs on the safe side.

It's too early for the Justice Force, but 1 Additional Member may show up if a Turtle Titan Figure is made.

Bishop is semi safe. I'd buy him in a flash!

Baxter is complicated:

He got the most changes throughout the series. Honestly, gimme a first appearance Baxter first, then the other versions. I most definitely want the brain in a jar version and one inside a robotic body...

Slayer/Rat King is a semi safe option... I'm sensing a pattern here.

I want a Dr. Chaplin... AFTER we get Baxter, of course...

2k3 was very sparse in the Mutants area... most of its characters were humans. Or humanoid shape. 

Sure, we have the Shredder clones but they shouldn't come out before we get a Shredder.

So who do I pick for 2k3 wave 2?

Shredder

Splinter

Foot Ninja

April

Wave 3 would have to be

Casey

Hun

Bishop

Baxter

Sadly, I don't see 2k3 going over 5 waves.

It came from the Toy Chest: This Reaper is THE WORST

 A Super7 Original, Robot Reaper is part of The Worst, a series of weird misfits that apparently are The Worst. I have nothing to say here. It's a robotic Grim Reaper that has a Gameboy Color ersatz and a robotic Endoskeleton.

There is not much that I can say because I do not know the lore of this character period.

Honestly, I bought him as custom fodder. If.

You are following the Rise of the MuTeens fanfic, then He'll be Jenny in Endo mode. If not, then a Robotic body for an AI program.

Articulation:

Robot Reaper has a standard Ultimates body. But sports Less Articulation

The thigh swivel is hindered like most Ultimates and there are no cuts until we reach the ankle.

The ball torso works pretty good though.

I can't be the only one who wants a Foot Soldier Endoskeleton after seeing the naked Robot Reaper!?

Obviously the robe would block some of the articulation, But since I'm gonna display him naked, it doesn't matter

4.5

RR: Nicholas Raymond Cade, I am coming for you.
Nick: I hope that coming is spelled with an o and single m...
RR: Does not compute... Perverted human, you understand what I meant! I am the embodiment of Death!
Nick: let me catch all 150 Pokémon on this copy of Pokémon blue and I'll die.
RR: Accepted.

Paint and Sculpt:

Since this is an original character, I can't compare it to the source material. The robotics look really decent in a stylish way. The paint job does a really good job in capturing the whole robotic skeleton thing. 

5.0

RR: Once I insert my diSk in your computer
You Will Die... With an I and not a Y, before you ask.
Nick: Sure, try to insert that 1982 Floppy on this 1990s PC.
*Notification sound*

Accessories:

Extra hands (c-grip, fist, pointing)

Extra heads (2)

Scythe hand

Not a Gameboy

Floppy floppy disc

Loading sand timer

Full on Scythe

Soft goods robe and rope belt. I'm counting them as accessories since they are removable.

The only complaint I have about the accessories is that the Scythe has the handles in the wrong direction. It seems that everyone who makes a sigh goois society puts the Handles in the wrong direction. Haven't they looked for ripping videos on youtube?

Finally A Zack Snyder film is good for something other than mockery and ridicule.

But other than that, The accessories rock!

5.0

RR: Perverted Human!
Nick: What!? Irma sent the pic, not me! That makes HER the pervert! Can I ask you a favor? Pass me the tissues and turn around. I need to rate the picture.

Overall:

Robot Reaper gets a 4.83 as it's final score. For a character that it's supposed to be part of The Worst; His rating has been one of the best! That lame dad joke was not intended. Well , i'm pleasantly surprised with the robot reaper, I don't think I would be buying any more characters from this line.

Welp! 2k3 Turtles are here and

 I dunno, guys...

They don't look BAD but they don't feel like $55 figures. 

1 extra head, 4 extra hands, shellphone... a $55 figure does not make. I'm probably pre-ordering Mikey and Don from Super7 if they allow me to and the remaining 2 from a third party place or something. Donnie has goggles and Mikey has twitling effects... not enough. Seriously, Super7 could've tossed in something extra. Mikey could've come with Klunk, Donatello could've  come with some tools to build/fix machines. Or Bo twirling effect piece. Slashing effects for Leonardo and twirling sais for Raph

 Hell even the bike helmet would have been a nice addition.

I hope they're taller than the 1980s TMNT.

New Zelda game revealed... NOW it's truly a Legend of Zelda

 As in you play as the Eponymous Zelda for the first time since the awful CD-I games

The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom looks like it might be part of the Link's Awakening series. 

What the trailer doesn't show is that Zelda now steals bed designs and copies them to move around. Copy a rock to kill a Moblin now you copy the moblin so he fights FOR you.

To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. First time in ages we get to play as Zelda and she has a shitty gimmick. I half expected to see her use some goddesses magic. Maybe using a rapier (like twilight princess) and Light Arrows (WW) not a hyper watered down TotK gadget mechanic. Thank goodness for the MvC Collection.

My condolences to Keifer Sutherland

 While I'm not a fan of the guy, especially with his awful performance as Big Boss; I can put aside my dislike of the guy to give him my condolences. His father, Donald Sutherland has passed away. 

Everyone remembers him in movies like M.A.S.H. Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Backdraft, The Italian Job, The Hunger Games, A time to kill, Space Cowboys...

But me, I remember him as the Cid from the shitty Final Fantasy movie starring Mulan and

Arec Barwin.

My condolences to his friends and family.

Capcom is doing something Awesome for Switch and PS4:

 I have a Massive Erection right now. 7 games with 6 of them being sprite based... Fighting games part of the Marvel Vs. SERIES!! For X-Men: Children of the Atom all the way to Marvel vs Capcom 2.

Th final game is Punisher... the beat'em-up game where you can play as Frank Castle or Nick's Fury. Yes these are the same games from the arcade 1-up cabinet. Now you can play all this games for a lot cheaper than getting the arcade cabinet. Sure. It looks cool to have an arcade cabinet. But that takes too much space, while a disk takes a lot less. In any case, this is a game collection I'm looking forward to...

Ancient Japanese variants the rant

 Just as I did with Mikey and the Beach Episode variants, I need to tackle Japanese variants for Leo the Sewer Samurai.

Shinobi Raph:

Raphael in traditional Ninja garb but in dark maroon with red accents. He also sports gray bandages on hands and feet.

Heads:

Hooded and no mouth mask

Hooded no mouth mask

Unhooded

Accessories:

Sai

Scabbard and sword from sewer samurai Leo

Manrikigusari

Kunai

Chained kunai (yes it's a Scorpion reference)

Ninja scroll

Ronin Michelangelo:

While not a reference to the Last Ronin, Mikey is a ronin here. Using the wave 11 Leo with a new torso (no belt plugs) as a base we put Mikey on a soft goods tunic (orange) and grey hakama. They're all held together with a plastic belt. The tunic should be baggy enough that Michelangelo can be displayed having the tunic on without using one of the sleeves (think Auron from FFX)

The belt should have a loop on the left side for his wooden sword and the right to hold his gourd of Soda.

Heads:

Serious

 "sleepy"

chewing bit of straw (think wandering leo without strawhat)

Accessories:

2 War fans open and closed. The open fans have the kame kanji on it.

Gourd of Soda

Wooden sword

Okonomiyaki pizza

Oniwaban Don:

Donatello wearing a similar outfit to Michelangelo BUT the body is a repaint of Sewer Samurai Leo without the shoulder and thigh armor. The tunic is purple and the hakama is black. The new Plastic belt should have a loop to hold his flintlock pistol and presculpted paraphernalia for said gun it should have a loop on his back to hold the wakizashi 

Heads:

Hooded with demon mouthguard

Hooded without mouthguard

Unhooded

Accessories:

Flintlock pistol 

Smoke bombs

Kunai

Cat claws

Wakizashi

Walking staff that connects with wakizashi to make naginata.

Onnamusha April:

This is a complicated figure to describe. Essentially it's April wearing a Kimono (laying the groundwork for a Tang Shen figure) she'd be wearing the bikini body mentioned in the Brach episode rant... unless S7 wants to make a new Breastwraps and fundoshi body for her... and the potential Tang Shen. Let's go with the inaccurate bikini body for the sake of laziness.

The idea is to create an outfit similar to this swordswoman's. Yes, I'm aware of the pic having the swordswoman wearing two tops: the green Kimono and the red top. In April's case, the kimono would be yellow with white accents. She'd have the big belt that's used with kimonos (attached via velcro) and underneath wearing a movie 3 inspired outfit. It's a two in one figure.

Heads:

Normal April

April with Japanese hairstyle

Accessories:

Katana

War Fans open and closed the Kanji for 6 would be painted on the open fan.

Wakizashi

Daimyo Splinter:

We start with an unflocked Splinter with new heads based on the toon, but in Toy colors. We put him on a soft goods outfit reminiscent of the CGI movie Splinter where was voiced by Mako.

Heads:

Neutral

Open mouth

Accessories:

War fans (open and closed)

Cane sword (like Zatoichi's)

Bow and arrows

Quiver

Naginata

Kumari fundo with real chain

Sushi plate

Mona Lisa the Lizard Kunoichi:

Mona Lisa sporting a soft goods Ninja outfit. Outfit can be removed to reveal a plain Mona.

Heads: 

With Ninja headband

Based on the Toy

Based on the toon.

Accessories:

Plastic scarf based on the toy

Soft goods long scarf

Kunai

Blow gun

Pair of tonfa

Shuriken

Ace the Buccaneer Duck:

Basically, Ace dressed as an European ship Captain who is looking to trade in Japan. 

Sporting a Tricorn hat, a white shirt, a soft goods brown coat and spats. (Think Pirate Scrooge McDuck but with Ace Duck colors)

Heads:

Normal

Pirate bandana and Cigar

 

Accessories

Flintlock pistol

Saber

Stick of dynamite 

Bottle of Rum

Treasure chest

Oni Bebop:

Essentially Bebop wearing a black furry loincloth, dark purple Mohawk with pink glasses. a removable red rur cape with Kappa head epaulets

Heads

Normal bebop head in Oni Bebop colors

Mouth open head (can fit whole onigiri)

Accessories:

Oni club

Kappa shell shield

Large gourd

Onigiri

Western knife

Oni Rocksteady:

Rocksteady wearing a tiger loincloth

Heads:

Without helmet

With a kappa skull helmet

Head without helmet and open mouth

Accessories:

Oni club

Tanegashima rifle

Kappa shell shield

Large gourd

Western knife

Steamed bun

Yokai poacher Leatherhead:

Picture Leatherhead in an outfit similar to Walker (TMNT3) BUT in Leatherhead colors.

Heads:

Hat

No hat

Accessories:

Arquebus

Hunting Knife

Soft goods net

Flintlock pistol 

Yokai trophies (baby hebi, mummified kappa head, kirin horns, caged yatagarasu)

Kabukimono Slash:

The Kabukimono were freaky bandits who wore a mishmash of loud and obnoxious outfits and hairstyles. Slash fits the description. Picture Slash wearing an Ashigaru chest plate, while sporting a Mongolian helmet, a tattered straw cape, Oni loincloth and a belt made out of various monks prayer beads and wearing European pants with broken boots.

Heads:

Helmet

No helmet

Slash with Kabuki paint 

Accessories:

Oversized katana with Scabbard

Large gourd 

Oni club

Oversized kama

 Wandering Rat Monk:

Picture Rat King in Tournament Fighters colors wearing a soft goods tunic and Hakama in traditional Rat King Colors (brown top green bottoms) in addition he sports a sling of prayer beads.  

Heads

-young Rat King with straw hat

-Toy rat king with straw hat

-basket head with 2 rats on top

-Tournament Fighters head

Accessories

Onigiri 

Rat eating Onigiri

Monk staff based on the Footski

Recolored Rat King flute

Gourd

Dark Shogun Shredder:

Using the Super Mutant Shredder helmet as inspiration and a traditional Oni mouthguard, we have Shredder's head. The rest of his body is a traditional Samurai armor, but with Shredder Spikes.

Accessories:

Serrated Katana

Wakizashi

Kusari fundo

Ninja scroll 

Sadly, I cannot find a character to round it up to an even number. No I won't use Chote/Shogun Shoate. Then I'd be forced to toss in Renet and Savanti Romero.

It came from the Toy Chest: I want to speak to the He-Man-ager

 

Habemus Thunder Punch He-Man from the New Eternia Line. My favorite Vintage Variant has a Masterverse figure, so let's check it out.

These are also the first ICftTC pics with the new phone, so quality might've changed.

Articulation:

As a Masterverse figure you know what to expect. The arm braces hinder articulation a bit. Noteworthy point I need to make my arms were super ultra stiff at the elbows. Had to remove the braces to try and work out those joints.

4.5

Paint and sculpt:

The detailings on the armor look great, but no matter how great its sculpt; It's ruined by a shitty Paint job. Here we have a case of that. Namely the He-Man head.

I praised this headsculpt when it came out on the Faker, but here it looks horrendous. I blame the exaggerated shading on the figure and the badly tampographed eyes and eyebrows. It hurts me having to rate Thunderpunch He-Man lower...

4.0

Accessories:

Removable Arm braces

Golden Power Sword 

Thunder shield (requires braces to hold... boo!)

2 blast cap rings

2 Fists

2 Punching effects

Aside the Shield requiring the new braces, everything else is perfect.

5.0

Overall:

He-Man gets a 4.5 as his final score. I am heavily disappointed at that Score. It should have been a bit higher. Had the paint job on the face being a lot better. This figure would have knocked it out of the park.

What if 13 ghosts of Scooby Doo was an anime?

 That would be the new Scooby-Doo series: Go Go Mystery Machine! An Anime based on Scooby-Doo. Starring Scooby-Doo and Shaggy, the show will take place in Japan. None of the other members of the Scooby gangare on it so far. There's a Shiba Inu, a black dude and a pink haired girl. Still much better partners than Crappy Doo and Flim Flam. 

WB is desperate to erase the sour aftertaste left by the bitter shit show known as Mindy Kaling. I just don't know how to feel about a Scooby-Doo anime. Now if it had been 1992, an edgy and fan servicey Scooby-Doo anime...

But anything to make us forget Mindy Kaling is welcome. Even if it's an anime copy of this:

2003 TMNT WAVE officially teased

 And the blocky cartoon accurate bodies is a thing... damn! Hopefully these will be $55 AND I won't be raped in the preorder via S7... assuming I'm able to.

Obviously, I'll try to get the turtles, Casey Jones, April O'Neil, Splinter, Shredder, Two Foot Ninja, Is baxter stockman, Agent Bishop, And Hun.

Now if they make the Justice Force... I'll bite.

I'm thinking I might make the 2k3 Turtles the MuTeens universe Turtles if they are larger than the 1987 turtles. Unfortunately we have to wait until next week for the official sale. Guess I won't be buying any thundercats.

The FF Tactics Remaster rumors have returned

 If true, I'm SUPER Excited. The first time this happened was in 2021. I have a history with Final Fantasy Tactics. The game broke me and made me feel like a dum-dum. The PSP enhanced port was a bit better but added something far more broken than Orlandeau (Orlandu in my days)... Balthier. Man, that dude is broken AF. It's like Mustadio on steroids! 

A remaster sounds nice if we got upgraded sprites and backgrounds...

What we need is a Remake of Tactics in the same vein as the rumored FFIX Remake. 

I kinda ranted on things I want for this remaster. Most of them are making Cloud playable. But a Remake can allow us to expand the game a bit:

3D character models. This aids the Generics, but it also would be great for the Unique characters... as in we can have more poses instead of the characters walking in place. Like Ninja having a different pose than a Samurai or a Summoner. Heck we could have stances being based on Class or Equipment. For example: a Squire with a mace has a different stance than a Ninja with a mace.

3D character models also help with outfits and LIMITED customization. You could personalize the Generic troops. Even "unique generics" like Alicia, Lavian, and Ladd (Rad) could be made to look "unique" amongst the generics. I'm thinking Hair, eye, skin color, maybe a small selection of hairstyles from the different classes.

Square could also shove cheap DLC skins for characters ie: Shimmering dress or Shinra MP Cloud, or FFI based designs for some classes. NOTE: I'M NOT ADDING CHARACTERS, just skins.

New classes is an obvious idea:

Red Mage, Blue Mage, etc. 

Adding more monsters, which benefits the blue mage.

Added Chapter 4 content. Things like more bar quests for your back up units, actual quests for Ramza, new bosses, areas like Midlight's deep (Deep Dungeon) since we have Cloud let's add Mr. Overrated Whiny Asshole... I can almost read: "No matter where you run away to, I will always follow you... Cloud. Are these your new friends, allow me to relish in your suffering as I extinguish their lives, Cloud."

But let's wait and see what develops with this FFT story. Could you imagine a Final Fantasy Tactics with PS4 level graphics as a minimum?

It came from the Toy Chest: Crossfire

 I lost the pics I took for game night and guess what: Crossfire is a once assembled you can't put it back in the box. I hate that. So I had to throw away the box, that's a minus. Then we have a bigger issue:

The ball bearings used. A Google search informed me that 9mm bearings are the ones used on the Hasbro version of Crossfire. I mentioned this, Because the game being so frantic, Will lead to losing some ball bearings, if you are playing near couches, Or shaggy carpets. 

As a kid I wasn't allowed to have this game. The reason being was my younger brother. The ball bearings were a choking hazard. To be honest, It wasn't my little brother the one that mom should have been wearing about. Kid me would have tried to put as many ball bearings in my mouth as I could and tried to spit them out increasing the chances of choking on balls. I'm well aware how gay that sounds, But it's the truth. Kid me loved putting strange things in his mouth. So no matter how much I pleaded crossfire was a big no-no game.

Not mine, but this is the one I have.

I've had my TRY Exclusive version ofCrossfire  roughly before Toys.R Us closed down on Puerto Rico. Since I was strongly fighting depression, My social life was rather non existent. Right now I'm struggling to get a bit better, but that's not the point here. Recently, I've been socializing a little bit. Yay progress! First it was Jumanji, now it's Crossfire.

Real life is not as exciting. It's a bit slower and having to stop to look for fallen bearings is no fun. I tried using the commercial music as a way to make the game more exciting it period it's failed horribly. My friends forced me to use headphones and keep the advertising music to myself! 

The object of the game is to get 3 goals on your opponent. BUT the Hasbro version of the game has an issue with the pucks. They jam and the bearing inside them doesn't spin fluidly. And you just end up pushing the pucks away with little to no spin at all. Some folks recommend that you buy vintage Milton Bradley Crossfire (preferably incomplete) and use the Milton Bradley pucks on the new Hasbro version. 

Don't use the Milton Bradley ball bearings on the Hasbro shooter because they are not made for the same size bearings.

I already mentioned that the game is not as exciting as the commercial made it to be. It's not a bad game but an overhyped one. For a guy that has had over 30 years of anticipation to play this game; real life was really disappointing... but I still got the thrill of eliminating a thing from the bucket list.

No! Putting my balls in Mr. Bucket's mouth IS NOT on the list.

Thubdercats wave 11: meh

 Back when the figures were $35 I would've been super excited for these. At $55, I just can't.

That's $250 plus shipping and handling. In MY case, I can be somewhere between not being able to pre-order to nearly $200 more in additional shipping. At $55, I ain't buying no guard. Claudus is a maybe. I ain't getting no $85 Lunatak and Ro Bear Bill is disappointing for that price point. 

As I say this, future me is laughing at my weak will as I expect Ro Bear Bill to arrive in 2026 or 27. Let's see if my will is stronger than FOMO or I bend the knee to the scalpers.

Berbils are coming!

 Super7 just dropped a teaser and here it is!

There's like 3 main Berbils so expect to spend $165 plus S&H on them throughout the next 3 years.

Who are the other 3 characters? Here are my top guesses:

Tuska Warrior to fill the odd character out.

LJN Tygra and LJN Jackalman round up the wave.

But let's try something with a Lunatak instead:

Luna to fill in the Lunatak requirement but it's another why the fuck is she $55!? Well, a shitton of unrelated Accessories like:

-Sword of Omens sight beyond sight mode

-Rerelease of the red Lion-O grappling claw shield

-Silky from the Garden of Delights

-baby Lion-O

Now for the LJN variants:

Pummyra and Slithe

The infamous Beach Variants list

 I joked about this on a previous rant, so this is not a serious list (aside maybe Beach April and Irma) but boredom has struck and I need to ramble about something, dammit! There will be no Michelangelo as these are supposed to be companion pieces to Sewer Surfing Mike. Oh no, I feel like I'll make companion piece to all 4 disguised Turtles...

Beach Sports Casey Jones:

Casey in Shorts and wearingnone of those Douchey sideless sleeveless tank tops all in Casey Jones colors.

Heads:

Masked Casey, Masked Casey with Scuba mask, Unmasked Casey with Sunblock applied on face like his mask.

Accessories:

Frisbee

Volleyball

Hacky sack

Paddleball ball and paddle

Beach hockey stick

Lifeguard Raphael:

Think Hasselhoff in Baywatch, but played by Raphael.

Basically Raphael wearing red "Baywatch" shorts with a removable soft goods red jacket.

Add sewer surfin Mike glasses with red rims.

He also has a permanent diagonal bandolier that his flotation can attaches to.

Accessories:

Binoculars

Megaphone

Floatation can with string that ties to his bandolier. 

2 Tonfa lifeguard flags with intwrchangeable flags.

Detectorist Donatello:

Donatello wearing a purple "Hawaiian shirt" with a grey tanktop underneath, khaki shorts with a fanny pack while sporting a cap, glasses and headphones.

Accessories

Metal detecting half Bo staff

Scooper half Bo staff 

Gold chains

Pocket watch

Wristwatch

Pile of coins

Shore Fishing Splinter:

Splinter (unflocked) dressed up as a Japanese fisherman

Blue sleeveless kimono with fishing motif.

Accessories:

Fishing pole

Small bonfire with small holes to place roasting fish on stick

2 fish on stick

Walking cane

Drinking gourd

Fishing knife 

Tubular Surfing Ninja Leo:

This is a nod to the Playmates toy but not exactly. Also, it works as an indirect Nod to surf Ninjas. But back to the Leo figure. It shares a lot with sewer Surfin Mike but it's not a straight repaint. The changes in sculpt would be New heads fitting for Leonardo, new right forearm to replace the crab with a pink sea star. The feet are for him to have surfer shoes instead of flippers. 

The suit should be painted in a way that's inspired by vintage toy but different enough so Playmates won't complain: 

Sharks would have to be brownish like bull sharks, the Eel in a raph green to look like a moray. For the suit, Neon Green for the yellow parts and yellowish orange for the red orange parts. 

Accessories:

From Sewer surfin Mike:

Surfboard (Turtles Surf with Honor would replace Mike's Kowabunga)

Throwing stars

Glasses

3 Wax pucks

New:

Pair of Bokken 

Punctured deflated floating ring (painted in colors similar to the mondo mutant surfer tube) 

Pompous pineapple drink (nod to PM Beachcombin Mike)

Beach Bombshell April:

It's April in a somewhat modest yellow bikini, because Beach and Nickelodeon. Bare feet because Dan Schneider. I'd add a soft goods beach robe, you guessed it, yellow with white belt.

Heads: April Head with 2 small grooves for removable glasses, April head with beach hat (can wear glasses too), slightly sunburnt head.

Accessories: 

Towel

Bottle of lotion

Coconut drink

Beach Mic

White soft goods Channel 6 T-shirt. (Slightly oversized)

Beach camera

Battle Umbrella (closed Japanese umbrella that can be used as a blunt instrument of pain)

Open B. Umbrella

Beach Bum Vernon: 

Yes, Vernon is sporting a Banana Hammock... Bright Pink. Other than that he's essentially naked.

Heads:

Smug Vernon with a big blot of sunscreen on his nose. Scared Vernon with sunscreen

Accessories:

Soft goods white shirt (should fit him better)

Soft goods blue wrap-around towel for his waist.

Fruity drink (as in it's fruit flacored and has some fruit on the rim of the glass)

Sunblock squirt gun.

Beach Mic

Beach Camera

Beach Babe Irma:

It's Irma in a slightly conservative blue One Piece Bikini with a set of red, yellow, green stripes running from under her left breast to her right thigh. She has a soft goods purple sarong.

Heads:

Irma grimacing, Irma blushing, Irma winking.

Accessories:

Oversized white Channel 6 T-shirt 

Soft goods towel

Bottle of lotion

T-shirt cannon

Turtle chaped Floatation ring

Beach Baddie Karai:

Reusing the April body, but the Bikini is in black and red.

Heads:

Normal head, smug head, relaxed head.

Accessories 

Battle Umbrella open and closed.

Towel

Lotion

Black beach robe with red belt

Sunglasses

Glass of sparkling apple juice.

Chakram disfuised as Frisbee.

Beach Rat King:

Rat King wearing arm floaties, ratty shorts, floaties on his arms.

Heads:

Prettyboy Rat King with Snorkel and diving mask. Vintage Rat King with sunvisor, one of the cancelled wave 10 alternate Prettyboy heads not used on wave 11 Rat King.

Accessories:

Rat on bagel floater

Sand spade/shiv

Soda can grenades

Ratapult with curled up rat (a small catapult to shoot rats at sand castles.)

Vacationing Foot Soldier:

Reference to the Japanese OVAs, Foot Soldoer in a soft goods Hawaiian shirt.

Heads:

Glasses, normal, teppanyaki chef headband.

Accessories:

Grilling tools (tongs, spatula, fork, etc.)

Hibachi grill

Food to grill

Foot soldier blaster 

Foot soldier rifle

Playero Krang:

A much paler Krang covered up in sunblock in a new and improved Bubble walker with tinted glass, Umbrella and electric fan attachments replacing the normal bubble walker arms and interchangeable legs

Heads: 

Maniac Krang head from wave 5 with sunblock, angry Krang head.

Accessories:

Pontoons

Sand treads

New tentacles

3 prong stand

Evil Ice-cream pop.

Pail and spade

Sand Technodrome 

Mizunin Shredder:

Basically a nod to this Animation Error.

Take Vanilla shredder, add his soft goods cape (navy blue), add a new soft goods removable tunic with belt (use it on wave 9 Shredder and you get a close to toon Shredder). Helmet and spikes are in light metallic blue

Heads:

Repainted shredder head

Shredder head with swin goggles

Accessories:

The already mentioned soft goods items

Battle umbrella 

Ninja water shoes

3 finger C-grip hands based on the vintage figure.

Spearfishing Rocksteady 

This figure is heavily inspired by Manhattan Project. Picture Rocksteady in a blue tanktop and water camo print pants.

3 heads:

Helmet head with Rebreather

Helmetless head with rebreather

helmetless head

For accessories:

Speargun

Knife

Removable flippers

Underwater propeller (taking design elements from the footski and other TMNT vehicler. Speargun can be mounted to vehicle)

I kinda wish we had more characters to use from other sources. Hell I kinda cheated by shoving variants of unreleased characters here, but I gotta try some Ancient Japanese, Film Noir, and IN SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!! Variants.

The hassles of changing a phone.

It's a huge pain. Having to go through the hassle of reuploading everything and losing 97% of your stuff because the new phone decided to format the SD card BEFORE LETTING ME upload some key music, photos, etc. But what's worse is that this dumbest didn't back up the stuff in the card before attempting the switch. Now I've spent a shit ton of time trying to recover everything. I don't understand if it was like a dramatic change on a phone but it's literally two models after the old phone. But somehow my phone was "not capable of using the app" that allowed for phone. to phone tranfer. So I had to do it the old way. But technologyfuked me over andI lost my last pics of Mom with no chance of recovery.

I'm FUCKNG angry! I lost something. I didn't want to lose... Technology might be a light that cuts through the darkness, but technology itself has brought me to the darkness as its unfeeling arrangements of ones and zeroes destroyed the last memories I had of Mom. I can no longer trust my brain as I age and memories are forgotten. In my hurry to be able to play Final Fantasy VII: Ever Crisis, I got horribly fucked by my impatience and reckless use of technology.

 

This has been far more disappointing.That Carrie Ann Moss appearance in the Acolyte. Getting killed by a fucking kunai not 10 minutes into the show. Pathetic. But the most disappointing thing is that she didn't do the thing...

BTW: Alpha 2 happens in 1987 and Sakura is 16 there... that means Sakura was born in March 15, 1971, thus making Sakura 53 years old and 3 years younger than Trinity. Cammy is also in her 50s... Ryu and Ken are close to 60. Guile is almost a senior citizen. Point is: I'm getting older and I'm trying to keep my shit together, but everything I love is either leaving me behind, or I find a way to fuck it up and let it slip through my fat fingers. 

Shit! The Crossfire pics for the It Came from the Toy Chest... Noooo!

Miley Cyrus: Ultimates!: a theoretical rant

 No, Super7 is NOT doing Miley Cyrus Ultimates. But I want to tackle how a line of Mileys would work. 

Hannah Montana:

Let's face it, the first figure of the line HAS to be Hannah Montana. It encapsulates Miley's tween era. This of course needs extra clearance with Michael Theodore, but let's tackle Hannah:

She'd be about the Size of Alice (as in Wonderland) 

4 heads: Two Hannah heads and two Miley heads.

Various sets of hands includong a guitar playing  set of hands.

Accessories: 

Mic stand 

Acoustic guitar

Wig

Flip phone

Party in the USA Miley:

Basically Miley in this outfit. The vest should be soft goods and removable. The idea is for this figure to be a "2-in-1" with Later seasons Hannah. I'm guessing this Miley should be slightly taller than Alice, but shorter than April O'Neil.

She should have swappable legs at the knees. I'll elaborate:

Since the Party in the USA outfit is rather form-fitting, a soft goods Hannah dress like the one shown above can make this fogure a two in one. The reason for the legs being swappable at the knees instead of the foot is for engineering reasons to preserve foot articulation.

Heads:

2 Miley 2 Hannah

Hands would be standard with the addition of 3 gloved left hands for Hannah

Accessories:

Slip on jewelry for Miley and Hannah

Modern mic stand for Hannah

Retro mic stand for Miley besed on the one from Party in thr USA

Alternate Hannah legs

Soft goods Hannah shirt and skirt.

Wrecking Ball Miley: (aka the Hannah is dead era)

This figure should be as tall as Ultimates April O'Neil. This one is the most straightforward so far:

4 Miley heads one of them needs to be the licking head.

Standard hands but needs a sledgehammer head holding hand for the sledgehammer licking

Accessories:

Sledgehammer

I kinda want to put a Werecking ball stand, but I'm afraid it would bump up the price tag.

Current Miley: based on Doctor 

She'd have a soft goods dress based on the first half of the video and a removable soft goods furry coat. She'd be as tall as April if she didn't have her high heels, making her a smidge taller than April.

4: heads with various expressions and movement.

Tons of hands

Wave 1 would be Hannah and Current Miley

Super7's Screw you Nefty Whole wave bonuses would be:

Wig cap Hannah head

Used to be Young current Miley head

Wave 2 is Wrecking Ball and Party in the USA

Super7's Screw you Nefty  Whole wave bonuses would be:

Wig cap Party Miley head

MTV Twerking Miley head

That's it for Miley... Now it's time for Daddy...

Billy Ray Cyrus Ultimates! Let's go!

Unlike Miley he gets only 3 Figures:

Achy Breaky, Robbie Ray, Current Era:

Achy Breaky Billy Ray is based on his Achy Breaky Heart look:

Blue tanktop, long mullet and jeans.

3 heads:

Long Mullet, Ponytail, shorter mullet

For accessories:

Mic stand, soft goods towel, acoustic Guitar.

Robbie Ray is the Hannah Montana era of Billy Ray Cyrus.

Basically him in this outfit with an additional soft goods jacket for when he's playing Hannah's manager.

Heads 4:

Slicked back hair head, head without the hair slicked back, head with the manager disguise mustache and fedora, Hannah's manager disguise without fedora.

Accessories:

Guitar

Newspaper

Orange juice

Hot cocoa

Current Era Billy Ray Cyrus:

I honestly don't know what to add to this figure, because this is so ridiculously out there, that makes my brain malfunction. I suppose I could give him the guitar as an accessory, but I also kind of want to give him like a cowboy bandolier a shotgun and a six shooter. I mean all I see is Billy Ray Cyrus doing a Red Dead Redemption cosplay.

I guess that the heads would be hat, no hat.

Billy Ray would be a 1 fogure wave with extra accessories.

The Screw You Nefty Whole wave bonuses could be:

Achy Breaky:

RADICAL JACK Head with Bandana

Robbie Ray:

RADICAL JACK HAIR WITH LONG HAIR AND GOATEE

Current:

No idea. Maybe a head woth a brand new hat?

What if Shredder's Revenge was a Power Rangers game?

 You get Rita's Rewind: a Beat'em-up game with Power Rangers made in a similar style to Shredder's Revenge.

I'm calling it now comma Tommy will be DLC.

So far the game has been announced only for Steam. Console release will eventually come. My guess is Sirius X PS5 and not so sure about the switch.

I'm liking this revival of nostalgic properties via Beat'em-up games. We had Ninja Turtles; GI Joe is coming and now we have Power Rangers. If only there was some other nostalgic brand that had a huge influence in toys to have a game like this...

Of course, I'm talking of Silver Hawks or ThunderCats. There are no other brands that could use this revival... none at all...

For fucks sake Mattel, why the fuck haven't you gotten a retro style to Beat'em-up He-Man game? It's so freaking obvious but I guess you're allergic to money.