Trigger warning:
The following toys are not intended for children
They are for adult collectors. Last time I mentioned certain toys, Blogger got weird apparently action figure Graysons and Michael Bay Music Videos can make Blogger get triggered. It's probably the accessories for the mutants... this link directs to sensitive material so you need to confirm you're an adult. You have been warned.
I mentioned the civilian line where I want 1:11 scale figures with Policemen, Doctors, Lawyers and such.
Was that a reference to Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be chipmunks?
No! I just stated a few professions. Anyways, I ended the rant with a joke about adding a strip club playset...
It wasn't a joke.
It wasn't. I want Strippers, I want prostitutes... both with castoffable clothes. I will not mention the pieces for Harambe. And like Michael Jackson
Or pieces that reference a Michael Bay Music video. But those would be included. Also hands for powdering noses. Alternate powdered heads would be a thing. Again, I'm going for the seedy underbelly.
Strippers would have various soft goods outfits on close to anatomically accurate bodies.
Some props for dancing.
Like snakes and shit?
Those and breakaway velcro profession clothes:
School teacher, paramedic, police officer, nurse, etc.
Prostitutes would have castoffable clothing. Some models would have non removable stocking and open crotch underwear. The unmentiomanle accessories for the Johns and Janes. They would also have a purse with a self defense device. Their unmetionable for Harambe will be wearing protection...
Self defence device, he means guns, knives, Tasers, etc.
No Mind Reading Ms. Ruiz-Reid!
None needed. It's obvious.
Pimps:
Yes, full on stereotypical pimp Regalia, cane and everything. Also a gun and a protected Harambe. I mustn't forget the slapping hand with slap effects. A golden gun and knife.
Are pimps going to be of all races or just black?
What the fuck, Cade? Are you trying to get me canceled? Equal opportunity pimping.
Gigolo:
I mustn't forget the man ho's.
Using toned male bodies with Harambe plug-in pieces. (Dead, strong, strong with protection) and castoffable clothing. It would be cool if we could get a Rob Schneider figure as Deuce Bigalow.
Who?
Ashley, help me out here.
Google:
There you go Dingus and Dingus Lord.
Male Strippers have breakaway velcro shirts and pants and a castoffable Speedo. The male unmentionables apply here.
What no commentary?
Male Strippers. No one cares about those. I know "but muh realism."
It's not so much about realism. It's about equal opportunity..
College Flashers and streakers:
Essentially figures of young adults who have castoffable clothes. Like say college girls (wearing their alma mater sweaters) flashing their sweater puppies out of a car's sunroof...
Puppies JR! Puppies!!
I'm surprised you know that reference.
Mom played Smackdown games for the CAWs.
Oh.
Male athletes flashing their junk out of their sweatpants.
Here I must put a warning that these aren't real people, just theoretical action figures to have in crass displays that display a somewhat realistic caricature of the world's perversions. The flashers aren't flashing real people. And lastly the Trenchcoat flashers... both male and female.
Don't think I've seen it happen in real life.
You will now.
Johns:
Prostitutes need their clients. While I proposed some Harambes that can be stuck with mounting putty. These guys would have sculpted clothing, but swappable crotch pieces.
Normal version, fly open Harambe Tribute.
All colors and body types.
Are you trying to make Liberty City a thing?
No! But I do have a GTA Reference for later.
Janes:
Same thing like the Johns, but these ladies get castoffable soft goods clothes. One or two of the models should sport the Karen hairdo.
All body types?
All body types. Equality.
Fun Vehicles:
Now these would be a bit more expensive, because they're for adult collectors.
Johnmobile:
A car similar to a 1982 Dodge Aries. The front seat is one long seat, which makes it easy for hanky panky. Preferably should be a 2 door version. But the special thing is that the car can rock up and down or side to side. Like in GTA. Bonus if the sound can be replicated.
That's a Manana...
Yes. Yes it is. Told you GTA Reference incoming.
Janemobile:
Based on an early 80s Volvo 240 station wagon... because there isn't a huge gap between driver and passenger seats. Like the Johnmobile, it should rock up and down. Also, the trunk should come with bunch of random accessories which would be items a Mom would have like groceries, school bags, etc.
Not a direct version, but you were thinking of the Perennial from GTA.
Guilty.
Back to the people:
Drug dealers:
Here they have to fit various stereotypes like the campus dealers, the gangbangers, the high class designer... campus dealers would have grass, medicine, maybe some powdered sugar. Maybe a knife as a weapon.
The Gangbanger would have a gun. Grass, sugar, rock candy and maybe some science.
The high class designer would have some Science, medicine, especially woosah!
No, only the gangbangers were GTA References. The college one is inspired by real life.
And the last one is based on TV. YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Vehicles:
Here the cars for the campus dealers and the gangbangers will be beat up old er vehicles.
Campus D:
A Ford Pinto looking car. Non working doors, but the windshields are always down and on the trunk, tons of illegal substances: sugar cubes, dehydrated herbs, lots of medicine bottles.
What the hell is a Pinto?
The car that explodes when rear ended... Dingus!
Hey!
GBMobile:
This one is more likely to have guns and weapons than say, stuff to make science, sugar blocks, or rock candy. It will have all, but it's like a few small bags of science, candy, and sugar, but more weapons than all 3 McF pack.
Punisher anyone?
More like Punisher victim.
High Rolla:
A Lexus or Mercedes. There would be a few fancy bags but not as crazy loaded like the college D.
Why not a Lambo?
Too flashy. Needs to be flashy but not too flashy to be noticeable.
Back to people again:
This one is more for Spawn, since it's homeless folks. There would be some variations. Like some with sculpted clothes, and others with castoffable clothing. While Hobo orgies are real, the reason the clothes are removable have nothing to do with those. Since I'm not adding the required stuff needed for them. Unfortunately, not all homeless people are fully there. Some have mental disabilities and they can run around naked. I knew of one homeless person who had issues and he often would throw away his clothes and break garbage bags looking for clothes to wear. Picking the same clothes he had just thrown away. Then he'd go to a culvert and strip to wash his clothes. Dude was 45 cards short of a full deck. In his insanity, he did things that I can't mention here.
You get the idea. Thanks Family Guy.
Point is if you need to have a display showcasing the flaws in the system and how it fails the needy, you can. Or if you want to display a Hobo orgy, you can too! Or even a crime scene display where other homeless tampered with the scene to get some clothes.Again, this is not meant to be a mockery of the less unfortunate. It's just giving options to collectors. But most importantly to help Spawn displays and populate Rat City.
I don't think it's a good idea. Instead add various soft goods outfits and heads. For variation. Maybe let them have underwear.
Let's move on:
Pigs in a blanket: undercover cops:
You've seen the undercover cop meme. Well, I want to make figures of that. With various degrees of absurdity... I'm talking going from passable to blue dude wearing orange Skeletor Armor can pass off as He-Man. Yes, bothale and female would be in normal undercover (protestor, dealer, user)
This kind of obvious. And this is the part where I might get canceled again:
Undercover cops disguised as prostitutes.
There will be female cops and male cops dressed as prostitutes. The male cops is the cancelable piece. Because I'm playing with the absurdity of a male cop dressed as a female prostitute. It's not an attack on drag queens or transpeople, though I can see how it can be interpreted that way. I just imagined a mega macho cop dressed like a prostitute on a corner arresting Johns left and right, who tried soliciting, despite the officer not making any effort in acting like a prostitute.
That's a JoJo reference...
Also, the female cops dressed as prostitutes, would suffer from the UC Cop issues while wearing castoffable outfits, due to the profession. Sculpted clothes would be a too obvious giveaway. How deep undercover they are? I dunno, but someone might end up making NWA's dream about copulation with the constable a reality.
Mission accepted.
I was making a joke, not giving you a mission!
Party pooper Vehicles:
Of course the UCs will get their own vehicles.
Protestor:
An older cop car with the light bar removed and the decals that would make the car look like a cop car have been hastily removed and it has traces of them. But the inside is a "fully functional cop car".
So despite the massive incompetence, they get the job done. Detective O'Malley won't like this.
Dealer:
Let's give them a small car that's cheap and inconspicuous like a mildly dented Toyota Corolla. Looking pretty normal aside the separator between front and back, and the police radio.
Zzzzzzzz
But back to people again.
Modular Corpses:
Police need crime scenes some of them heinous... some of these are highly controversial, due to the graphic nature. Disembowelment, chopped off parts, etc. Young, old, we get the whole spectrum of corpses. Yes, that includes children and toddlers.
Dude you're so getting canceled.
I warned y'all that these would be controversial.
All corpses would be castoffables...
Canceled in 3... 2... 1...
As I was saying, they NEED to be castoffable, since a stab victim would require torn clothes versus a drowned victim whose clothes would be intact. A gunshot victim has different kind of damage than a strangulation victim. The kids would have sculpted panties/briefs. I'm not Jared Foggle. I'm a little fucked up on the head but not THAT fucked up.
But why would you want toy corpses, especially KID Corpses!?
Not Especially. They are a side effect of Equality and fairness.
Ah, I see. Since you want to add Serial killer accessory packs, victims may be needed and one of the sets is a cannibal... Dude that's fucked up. But you've joked with the idea of toy serial killers before.
See? Babs gets me, Buster! Heh, Buster, Babs... ah, these GenZ kids wouldn't understand the reference.
It was Todd McFarlane himself who gave me the idea with this Billy Kincaid statue. Also, watching Seven recently didn't help.
The serial killer packs would include bloody weapons, parts that would work with the corpses, and in some cases clear plastic coats.
Indeed Ashley, it's a nod to American Psycho.Now, putting the creepy and uncomfortable stuff on pause. I've been racking my head how to do tasteful figures of other cultures/religions.
Thinking some traditionalist Hindu folks, Muslims, even Jehova's Witnesses with their carts.
You're trying to figure out ways to add a Caleb and Sofia reference? Aren't you?
You KNOW about Caleb and Sofia!?
I am one with the Internet. Of course I know about Caleb and Sofia. I also know about God's Gang, and the LDS copy of Caleb and Sofia, Miguel and Sophia.
Shit, I forgot the Mormon missionaries and their bikes! But yeah. Key here is make tasteful toys of them...
Not gonna lie I want nuns...
Castoffable nuns, please!
Cade, I know your nature, but yes, I want removable habits, but not for your reasons. Mainly because I want a uniform look with the nuns and I will most likely be selling Nun packs instead of actual Nuns. That way more nuns can be made.
Something similar would be made for the burqas. Again, going for tasteful representation... NO TEAM AMERICA CLIPS, ASHLEY!!
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