Toycember bonus: it came from the Toy Chest: It's Brie Larson's

 

Captain Marvel Sutnt Double. Seriously, the figure looks like Brie from 20ft. That's like 6 meters for the Euro folk. I had to get that out of my way. This was on super duper clearance at BBTS. I think I paid like $13 for her. Sorry, $12.60. From the $25+ MSRP 2019 Marvel Select Figures had.

I won't go into describing the character, because blegh... disclaimer: The review contains a fictional story with poor caricatures of existing people. They're not to be taken seriously.

Ok: articulation... let's do that! 

Easy there, Jay Sherman! Carol's articulation is good only on paper. The execution, it stinks!

Her shoulders are blo ked by her pauldrons. Her elbows have less than 90° range. Super loose ankles.

3.5

Brie: Wait, aren't you The GameDude of the MuTeens? The one with videogame powers?
Nick: Aren't you?
Brie: Brie Larson, from Captain Marvel?
Nick: I was thinking Running Wild with Bear Grylls.
Brie: Yeah, that too! I am a Huge Metroid Fan! I wanna feel what is like being inside the Morphball. I'll give you a 3D replica of my pussy.

So her articulation is a mixed bag. Her knees are double-jointed, ratcheted and tight. Hips are a bit loose. But let's move to the dreadful part...

Nick: No way! I'm not gonna fall for some MeToo bullshit!
Brie: But it's right here!
Ashley VO: Dingus! She has a 3D replica of the Cat that fucked up Nick Fury's motherfucking eye! She's allergic to real cats.
Nick: I'll let you have the Samus experience, but you must fuck a friend of mine.
Brie: That sounds like some Weinstein MeToo story. How about Motorboating and some butt grabbing? 
Nick: I'll throw in Screw Attack, and Shinesparking, but only if you give him a clothes on lap dance where you Bounce on it! *inhales* CRRRRRRRRRAZY STYLE! Maybe even farther on it a little bit! That would make him goon!
Brie: Through clothes. No nudity involved.
Nefty-kun VO: DO NOT WANT!!

The only positive thing I can say is that her paint job is pretty good. I don't see any sloppiness on the sculpting. On the other hand well she doesn't not look like Brie Larson at all.

3.0

Brie: I'm going to regret this.
Nefty-kun VO: Join the club! I wanted Queen Amidala, not Scott Pilgrim's ex.
Brie: The things I do for Samus.
Nefty-kun VO: The things I do for Yu-Gi-Oh!

The alternate head looks a bit better.But that's just a helmet with only an exposed mouth. Let.

's talk about the accessories which are the saving grace of the figure.

She has her Flerken, the alternate head. I didn't take pics of her with it unbecause.I cannot remove the vanilla head and i'm not gonna break the figure. She's got 8 extra hands. A bit of an overkill, but it is what it is. 

She also possesses not one, not two, but Three Display Stands. Clear stand to have her hovering... black standing stand and diorama flight stand as she's barely exploding into the sky.

Brie: Fuck this shit I'm put! I'm not going to get groped by an incel fat fuck who wants to play Yu-Gi-Oh!
Nefty-kun VO: Whoa! Did you just not only body shamed me, but reverse slut shamed me!? You are going to get canceled!

By sheer number she gets a 5.0 but I have complaints especially with the stands. The flightstand puts her in an awkward situation with her weak ankles. With the clear stand i'm afraid it's gonna break at the middle joint , which is ridiculously stiff and hard to move.

For the love of Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, use the Alternate head when posing her floating. Otherwise she looks like she was hung... hanged. Sorry ESL... sorry about the mental image of a Horsedicked Futa-Brie. Seriously, sculptor fucked up! She looks as depressed as FutureCanoe's voice.

Her overall score is a 3.83, which could've been better if the articulation was better. Or her face looked like her.

Nefty-kun: bdlbdldbdlbdlbdlbdlbdldbl!
Brie: Wow, you must be pretty desperate to be Motorboating me so enthusiastically. You love my ass so much by the way you're caressing it.
Nefty-kun: Done!
Brie: What do you mean Done!? I haven't gooned!
Nefty-kun: Deal was that I was supposed to Motorboat you and play with your ass so you could feel what it's like to be Samus.
Brie: But did you goon?
Nefty-kun: Didn't even get a half-chub.
Brie: Oh no! You're gonna keep touching me and rubbing yourself on me until you jizz in your pants! I NEED YOU TO CUM FOR ME! 
Nefty-kun: Because you want me, or because of your ego?
Brie: Ego. I'll even strip to my underwear if it helps.
Nefty-kun: Look, Cheese theft. It's not me, it's you. While yes, you are an attractive llooking ady when you aren't being an insufferable twat, you just make me more flaccid than thinking of a retirement home orgy. You could punish me by sitting on my face and force me to lick your snatch and I would remain impotent as El Puma without Viagra. And scene!
Nick VO: Damn, Creepy Nefty... you were savage.
Nefty-kun: Well, it helps knowing that it wasn't the real Brie Larson and it was just your Ro-butler Jenny.
Jenny VO: I haven't even started yet.
Brie: Insufferable twat you said? Better an insufferable twat than getting kicked in the nards!
*kick*
Nefty-kun: ¡coño! ¡Me cago en la crica del Diablo coño!
Brie/Jenny: Gotcha! We can't afford to invite the real Brie for this! Besides, she wouldn't be that desperate!
Nefty-kun: screw you guys, I'm going home! Screw you guys! Home!

Toycember Bonus it came from the Toy Chest 30: Itty bitty titty Funko Pop comittee...

 

It's the bitty Pop! By Funko... basically Funko Pop!s for my action figures.

There are various themes. Star Wars, TMNT (obviously), vintage toys like Stretch Armstrong, FNAF, and Hello Kitty and Friends...

Yes, Monke will have to buy one of those to Ironmouse, due to the Cinnamoroll tax. Well, these were heavily discounted at Macy's TRU. I got 3 for the price of 1.

OK, so The Mystery bitty pop ratio is:

⅓ pixel Mikey and Bebop.

⅙ Leatherhead and Casey.

Good thing I wanted the pixel turtles.

I wish I could find an April set, even if I have to pay full price.

They CAN be removed from the box, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Toycember Bonus: 2K3 Michelangelo

 I got my 2k3 Michelangelo from Super7 back in July. The figure doesn't look great in hand. You know something's wrong when right Out of the pck I'm disappointed in Michelangelo. Now I know how my dad feels about me.

Articulation:

He has double joints and they Kinda work, but you need to do some heating up and NECA styled prayers. Joints feel fragile, so be careful.

There is neck rotation. It's pointless but it's there. The bananas can spin at the not for windswept action poses.

5.0

Paint and sculpt:

The paint and sculpt is mostly accurate to the cartoon, but they looks too fat in 3d and what's worse is that they're shorter than the 1988 styled toys.

2k3 Mikey: Whoa you're big!
88 Mikey: You should, like lay off the pizza.
2k3 Mikey: What the Shell!?

Nefty VO: Good thing I got those Playmates movie Turtles. There go my plans for Adult Turtles. Kyle, you failed me big time.

There is some shading, but the flat sculpts do not help. I don't like them.

I just wish they had been at least a bit taller than the 80s Turtles.

But I have to be fair...

4.5

Accessories:

Here is where Super7 dropped the ball:

Extra heads

Fists

Dramatic hands

Twirling Chucks

Shellphone

You used to call me on my cell phone
Late night when you need my love
Call me on my cell phone
Late night when you need my love
I know when that hotline bling
That can only mean one thing
I know when that hotline bling
That can only mean one thing

Mike can't hold the phone unless I use BluTac.

The twirling Chucks are added to the normal Chucks by popping them at the chain. But both the Chucks and the twirlers fall off easily when posing. That chain will get lost in shaggy carpets.

One more thing: the nunchaku are very thin and will NOT work on the vintage hands.

He needed far more extra hands.

3.0

Overall:

2k3 Mikey gets a 4.17 as his final score. It's not a bad figure.It's just that I have too many hangups with it. I only hope that Shredder,  Casey, and the Foot Soldier do not suck. Then, April, Baxter, Bishop, Rat King, Renet, Savanti Romero, and Hun are all I need to call it quits. Unless they make the Justice Force. MAAAAAYBE Chaplin and the Karai sexbots.

PM Mike: Get me outta here!
S7 Mike: Not cool, man!
Nefty VO: I've been sitting on that
Mikey since Deadpool and Wolverine, or was it Las Super Estrellas de la Lucha Libre? In any case I've been sitting on that Mikey for a long long time!

But as a certain Wrestler/Mosquitor Enthusiast says: It's Comparison time! I need to compare 2k3 Mikey to 2k3 Mikey. So let's tackle Playmates 2k3 Mikey reissue. 

Mikey: Brooklyn Rage!! Nyeh!!
Nefty VO: Wait, you're a third rate duelist with a fourth rate deck!?

Articulation:

Neck, shoulder, and wrist cuts.

Hinged pegs at the shoulders and hips.

It seems a lot less than modern figures.But this is a playmates figure from twenty two years ago... and Playmates tends to be further behind than Mattel on stuff. So I will rate this figure as a figure from 2003. Not one from 2025.

Shit! Spider-Man Classics and Marvel Legends were out at the time!

The articulation is an improvement over the 1980s line, but contemporary toylines had improved articulation at the time.

3.5

Paint and sculpt:

One thing Playmates USED TO DO GREAT was tiny details in the sculpts. The figure has tons of detail that rival the movie Turtles from the 80s line. The colors are gritting without requiring washes and drybrushing.

4.5

PM: Leave that Gadgick alone!
S7: Fuck this shit, I'm out! Also, that Taras reference was Kul. Nyeh!

Accessories:

Here the amount of accessories were exchanged for the wacky action accessory that even works with the Super7 figure. 

2 shuriken

2 unchecked

The quick escape box that works like Webstor's backpack. I knew I made that PixelDan reference for a reason! 

5.0

Overall

2k3 Mikey gets a 4.33 as his final score.

S7: How the shell did you score higher than me?
PM: I am just that better than you...
Nefty VO: Why is there a potato in my bed!? It's throwing up all over my room!
S7: Mutant Mayhem April? You're Evil!
PM: That wasn't me. I gave him some scans from the Mirage Porn comic...
S7: the one where 87 us gets fucked by Donatello?
PM: precisely.

For a Playmates figure from 2003, it's a decent figure. But I just got him for the Webstor Box

Toycember bonus It Came from the Toy Chest: Placeholder Irma

 Finally got an Alice without broken legs that I could disassemble and tear the bow on her back to make an Irma.

Disclaimer: the custom and rant were written in Late May during the purge for 2026 to attempt at least a 12 days of Christmas Advent Calendar and have some toys for Toycember.

Irma: April you're taller.
April: Irma, you were hit by a de-aging ray! Now you look like if you were 19.
Irma: Sweet! Gotta go! Need some Mistletoe and lonely college students!
April: Oh Irma!
Irma: If I were a man, this behavior would be considered creepy!

Yes, that's an Eleven head with some glasses from eBay. The only thing I did was sculpt some bangs and glue on the glasses. There were no further mechanical modifications to the head. It pops in perfectly into the Alice Body. The skirt is from an Arcueid figure. I bought just the skirt in 2023 or 2024. The sweater as from eBay well. I will need to ask for tips on sewing to make her sweater slightly more snug. 

Of course, I'd prefer to get an Official Irma figure, but Playmates killed the lien. Now I can have an Irma placeholder for my in progress TMNT display. 

Dec.18 Update:
I'm going to use the FTC Announcer instead.
I had to fill up eleven's head hole to fit the FTC Peg. Will get a new skirt...

Guess I'll make a Kala with the Alice body.

Toycember Bonus It came from the Toy Chest 27: Not a toy, but works as a prop

A BARBIE Stationary set that almost works as an Acrion Figure Power Wheels. Or if you haven't 3-D printer, you can make a base for it and have it act like a Kiddie Ride.

But for the sake of reviewing this, I need to point out what it truly is:

A deathtrap.

Yes, that's right, a deathtrap.

Had to use a letter opener to open the secret compartments, since they DO NOT OPEN AT ALL... unless you stick a knifeon the undercarriage and hood. This is supposed to be a stationery set for Little girls.

The steering wheel and column is a pen. The seats are stamps. The non-working wheels can hide rolls of stickers. The undercarriage can hide a set if stencils. There's a notepad that hides in the hood. Barbie Paper clips for the win...  but let's get to what we're waiting for:

Here it is in Toy Car mode. Looks nice doesn't it?

I'm  getting Barbie Corvette Power Wheels vibes...

Kaylee: Mister Nick why is your Dad whining about a Jorge Del Salto?
Nick (VO): It's got to be some old man thing.
Kaylee: But you're old!
Nick VO: Kaylee, don't say such things!
Kaylee: But you're dating my Mommy, that makes you old! 

It's not a great fit though, but it KINDA works from some angles.

Just don't look at it from above... if it had more leg room, I'd get one for Karen, which would be repainted in more badass color 

Since this isn't a toy, let's do something closer to a toy:

The Chelsea Tea party accessory pack... or whatever it's called.

It contains an outfit for Chelsea:

Dress, tiara, shoes. Teapot, teacup, plate with cupcake, plate for teapot.

I don't usually do Barbies, but the Dress looks like it could work on Kaylee or Karen.

The tiara and shoes, I cannot use on the figures due to the shoes being smaller than the FTC kid feet. The tiara is as big as their waist. Shoea may be useful as backdrop props.

The teapot is on scale, but the FTC figures have issues holding the teapot and teacup.

Some hold theirs better than others.

The Cupcake is glued to the plate. Which is a hassle, because I wanted to paint some details.

Last but not least...

The dress is a close to perfect fit to the kids. 

I wish I could find other Chelsea sized dresses for the current girls and possible future girls... official or customized.

Toycember Bonus It Came from the Toy Chest 26: Alleged Former Ric Flair bodyguard whose ass I kicked once

 

I've mentioned that my Mom knew a guy who claimed he was a bodyguard for Ric Flair. He showed me a pic of him and Flair in the mid 90s. The only thing that I can confirm is that in one occasion he was in the same room as Ric Flair. I kinda believed the story until I kicked his ass. I'm in no way an efficient martial artist/fighter/brawler. So, kicking a "bodyguards ass" just because I'm fat has made me doubt that story. Then again, he also claimed to have reflex neurovascular dystrophy due to an injury. Making me have an unfair advantage.



I showed my brother the figure and my intentions of repainting him. Here's what he said:

"Cabrón, Esa figura se parece a *name redacted*. ¿No me digas que lo compraste para burlarte de él?"

Basically, he admonished me for wasting money on a Joke only I would understand. So, I will NOT repaint Hunter into *Name Redacted*. Update 5 days later: I did. Now I'm debating buying a UWC Announcer for the body and a Mattel Ric Flair to recreate the pic.

So, since Hunter is going to remain Hunter,(future Nefty update, he didn't. That's what happens when I rant out of chronological order) I need to give him a worthy last name. Hunter E. Krieger. The E stands for Eduardo. Yes, the resemblance to a dead person is apparent.

Let's tackle the review now:

The T-Rex pose is a nod to him.

Articulation:

Sadly, the overlay slightly hinders the articulation. Other than that, he has the same style of articulation as the Wrestling Crew figures and the other Male fans figures.

4.0

The hood and gun were random accessories I bought from Figures Toy Company as well.

Paint and sculpt:Parts seem to be molded in a single color with paint on the face, shoes, and belt. The sculpting is a hybrid between realistic and stylized. The head sculpt is a bit on the cartoony side and it's somewhere between excited and deranged.

4.5

Hunter: The Boss has put a bounty on your head, little girl.
Let's make it easy for everyone and come with me.
Karen: Go eat a bag of dicks
Nefty (VO) LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRREEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYY
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSS!!

Accessories:

The same hands as all the other figures, nine extra hands in total. I wish he had a bit more though.

5.0

Karen: Thanks for the support, fat creep, but
I had it under control
Hunter: Ow!
Nefty: Are you OK?
Karen: Do you want me to Buster Wolf you?
Nefty: Nick would kill me if you get hurt.
Karen:  Wanna be helpful, help me keep this creep subdued.

Overall:
Hunter gets a 4.5 as his final score. He's OK, but he could be better. Mainly it's the C-grips. I had to force the gun for the single pose and it kept falling off. I'm seriously thinking getting an extra set of hands, heat mod the grip and if necessary glue the gun to it. Hopefully, FTC will improve upon the hands and make an additional set to be useful with the accessories they sell on THEIR WEBSITE.

Hunter: Ow! You're pulling my hair!
Nefty: Holy shit! He is a low rank Turtelli goon!
Karen: So I can kill him and no one would care?
Nefty: No killing, Karen. Detective Cocaine is on your heels. But, there's nothing wrong IF *I* do. It's been ages since I've had human liver...
Hunter: Wait what?
Karen: He's a cannibal and a Negrophile.
Hunter: He fucks corpses?
Karen: No. He fucks black chicks because despite being a fat cracker, his cock is black and he's bi... *winks*
Nefty: Ah yes, and your virgin ass is begging for a BBC tearing through it.
Hunter: Oh God, please don't!!

Hunter: Fuck this shit, I'm out!
Nefty: Whoooaa!
Karen: Wooooooh!

I caved and ended up repainting his hair to match the guy... Had Temu existed back when Mom was alive she'd likely slap the back of my head so hard if I called him Temu Eddie Guerrero.

Miguel: 🎶Miguelita la Mapeadora...
La que trabaja por pocos reales!
Nefty VO: What the fuck are you doing here!?
Miguel: Your Mom!
Nefty VO: You asked for it, motherfucker!!

Toycember bonus it came from the toy chest: Base for a Biblically accurate Nefty

 

Figures Toy Conpany made the Wrestling Fan sub line. I already reviewed Karen. I got some other figures for reviewing at a later date. This time it's Shawn's turn.

I got this first Shawn in order to make a Biblically Accurate Nefty-kun since the previous Nefty-kun evolved into Nick R. Cade. It's possible that I'll get a second Shawn to keep as is. Neftyverse Canon Shawn will be a guy who looks like Nefty but isn't Nefty. Kinda like how people confuse Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana.

So, the one time you'll see Shawn Jaeger... yes it's a reference. Is here:

German dude doing an Irish jig awfully...
For that Shawn Jaeger will dye!

I tried to remove his facepaint with acetone. I sneezed and spilled some on his shirt. You have been warned.

Nefty: Uh, h-hey Amber! I was uh, wondering if, uh, you'd like to g-go out with, uh, me?
Amber: I have a boyfriend!
Nefty: Congrats! I-I hope he's, uh, a great guy that treats you,uh, w-well! I-I got to uh, go! Uh, I'm not c-crying, it's,  uh, allergies.
Kaylee: Sissy, doesn't he look like a fat Mr. Nick?

Articulation

The figure has OK articulation.  His fat body has some Articulation restrictions that slimmer figures lack. The arms require double jointed elbows to reach the 90° angle that a single joint elbow does on a slim figure. Legs fare a bit better though, but it can be a bitch to get the lower half of the knee going. There are no ankle rockers.

3.5

Nefty: Hey! It's K-Karen! Have you, uh, see-ugh!!
Karen: Sommersault! That's what you get for messing with Jade!

Paint and sculpt 

I'm going on the original Shawn, not my butchered up Nefty repaint.

The sculpt is essentially a fatter and bigger version of the Children but with Sandals instead of the Chuck Taylors. It's scary how much this figure is to what I wear on my leisure time.

Most of the paint job is in the face. Pretty much everything else is molded in the appropriate color.

4.5

*ringtone*
Jade: Did you just jizzed our pants?
Nefty: D-dude, you're rubbing your, uh, c-cake all over, uh, my chorizo. OF COURSE! I'll c-cum when uh, a smexy girl, uh, rubs her booty, uh, on GAAHH!
Jade: Again!? I don't know if I should feel insulted or complimented... Can you go for three? 

Accessories

Like the other figures, he has

Dramatic hands 

Judo chop hands

Fists

C-grips (these are a bit wider than MOTUC weaponry.)

Pointing finger

Cellphone hand

Accessory hand

5.0

Myahh! Castle Grayskull will be mine!

Overall

Shawn gets a 4.33 as his final score. Personally I hope the "next gen" comes with a long pants and shoes fat body. Short and full sleeves business shirts with ties. And a head that resembles Jeffrey Jones in the late 1990s. With Black hair... just so I can have the pieces to make a custom Burne Thompson since Super7 is highly unlikely to do one now. Heck! I'd also would enjoy Sleeveless t-shirts. Preferably red shirt, blue pants with a fully bald head... for no reason at all... except Pizzaface.