Whoa... This Karate Kid movie seems good

I was very afraid of the Jackie Chan/Ralph Macchiato crossover. 

The trailer looks actually good without spoiling too much... But it seems that this movie is doing both Jayden Smith and Hilary Swank dirty. No reference to any of them and we also need to see the end of Cobra Kai and if it'll influence this movie. According to Cosmopolitan (of all sources) February 13th is the release date for Cobra Kai's ending. Roughly in 41 days. 

We shall see.

My NECA Casey's thigh exploded: a rant

 I tried fixing it but no dice. So, I'm now on the hunt for a new Casey.

Update:

I have one on my Pile of Loot at BigBadToystore. (Not sponsored) The Casey Hunt made me notice other toys

 On the other hand, I have a Desperate Irma. This will be an opportunity to study her and see if I could make a custom Irma in case Super7 fails me here.

I will have Irma Cum out of the Toy Chest... Yes the review will have lots of soggy  knees. Specifically Me Soggy Knee, because Irma is a young Blanche Deveraux and could possibly beat Morrigan in a fucking contest. As in a competition of having sex... I'm not saying Irma is a ho, but I heard she legally changed her number to (***) 867-5309. 

Now that I have an Irma in-hand, I can see the issues that Super7 has to overcome.

Size:

I know I've mentioned before that Irma is, roughly Alice sized. BUT I think that Super7 should Not follow scale this time and make her a smidge taller.

Here She and the Turtle Terminator disguised as her are the same height as April. So do this height instead.

Sculpt:

I will still die on the hill that she needs to be fully sculpted but with soft goods clothes. That way Super7 CAN give us both Playmates and Toon inspired looks. The only thing I'll give up on is her "undergarments".  The "sacrifice" is in order for Super7 to make "their own" Irma variant. Toon Irma seems to be wearing Leggins that remain hidden under her skirt, but they expose a little bit of shin. So does the Playmates toy. So, Leggins, thick socks and inappropriate footwear... smells like Irma's wearing 80s workout clothes underneath her garments! That gives S7 an excuse to add the Bandana Badass Irma head and Foot Soldier rifle as accessories, in addition to her purse. The workout clothes are also an excuse to give her a Jumpropechaku. Also, I'd avoid the whole Mutate into a Wererat thing, since that would be copying NECA too much. IF wererat versions of Irma and Vernon were to be made, I'd Varnerize them a lot more. That's a different rant for later. IF a Turtle Terminator is ever made, it SHOULD have full compatibility with Irma. I mean same size and that the head and hands should work with each other. Shit, another Irma Rant is cooking.

Accessories:

These would heavily depend on what direction Super7 takes. I'd expect as a BARE MINIMUM:

-Purse (as she has used as a weapon on occasion.)

-Press Pass as she works for Channel 6

-a stungun or pepper spray as she's a single woman who has to walk 80s-90s NYC Streets at night.

-Turtle Communicator as she's a friend of the Turtles.

It came from the toy chest: Now this is the story all about how

Mike's life got flipped turned upside down... did I just make a Fresh Cuck of Bel Air reference?

Rappin' Mike is in the Hizouse! I need to make an emphasis on that second P because if I forget it, he becomes a VERY different figure.

 This one's one of the figures I had as a kid. It wasn't necessarily my favorite Michelangelo, but I used him as my Aboveground disguised Mikey. My friend back then had Heavy Metal Raph.

Mikey:Yo! Yo! Yo! It's pizza time Bwoiiiiii! 

Articulation:

Standard Super7 stuff. Nothing to write home about... except the cap. It's not removable, but it's on a cut joint so you can spin it around. Shame that it's not removable as I wanted to do some Terry Bogard Poses with it. Only the left ankle is a bit too tough to move and his legs aren't loose, like I've seen in other reviews.

4.0

Vanilla Ice VO: "If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it!"

Paint and sculpt:

Vintage Accuracy is not there because Playmates has been a little bitch about this. BUUUUUUUUUT, It's obvious that it's inspired by the vintage toy. In some ways, I like it better than the vintage toy, but in others, not so much... Feels somewhat MOTUC-ISH in a good way. Shame that this wasn't the goal from the start. My hat head came without the knot for his bandana. Won't bother getting a replacement, because it's too much of a hassle and I won't risk getting a floppy body.

4.5

Accessories:

Rappin' Mike lost the vintage cymbals and turntable, boo! But gained a boom box, old school headphones and some bling. Sadly He lost the Flavor Flav clock, but the Bling reminds me of someone else. So let's begin to point out the stuff:

Alt head

Glasses 

6 hands

Boom box. It has a turntable on the other side.

Useless Headphones that he cannot wear AT ALL!

2 chains of bling

Mic-chaku

Feels a bit barebones.

4.5

I mentioned the Fresh Cuck, of course I'll reference him!

Overall:

Fresh Prince of the Drain gets a 4.33 as his final score. The semi frozen ankle and missing headband knot were the biggest culprits on his lower score. The useless Headphones didn't help at all.

Here's the Nefty Original Backdrop for Rappin Mike.

Mike: "Try asking Chinese people about Chinese.
Sorry. Shenmue reference. Blame the sick song I'm listening to OK! Maybe I'll teach you the Tornado Kick!"

Naughty or Nice 2024 orders have been going for a while now.

 Sadly, I missed out on Jolly Santa's reissue from BBTS. So my only Santa is White. I wanted a black Santa to have a tag team between Santas and Jesuses. It would've been the Ultimate Advent Calendar. Well, Naughty or Nice now has Centaurs Santa and Krampus as Centaurs. Sadly, No Mrs. Claus. I'm going to be honest here. I want both kinds of Mrs. Claus: traditional Grandma styled and Sexy Mrs. Claus.

You can Pre-order the figures here. Not sponsored, I just want these figures to get made.

But here's the thing: Last year we got the reindeer. This year, the pre-order is for the sleigh. Then there's also Zombie Pirate Santa, but the best thing ever is: 

CHILDREN FIGURES!!

As in those who get Christmas presents from Santa. I pre-ordered the blonde girl and the African American girl.  By the time I pre-ordered, there were over 750 kids pre-ordered from the 3K minimum required. I hope that by Valentine's Day, the day before the pre-order period ends, the kids have reached their goal.

As of Christmas 2024, they were at around 1500 kids pre-ordered. We're halfway there... Spike, don't you dare...

Feeling like another rant is coming...

Baxter Stockman: The Variants: The Rant

  Unlike Shredder, Bebop, Rocksteady, or April; themed variants are harder for Baxter. I will try to select Logical variants before going "Playmates styled" variants.

Let's get the obvious repaint out if the way:

Mirage inspired Fly Baxter Repaint:

Take Wave 1 Baxter and eliminate the rack items. Add a battle damaged Mouser to "compensate"

I'd paint his hair Dark Purple with his skin being Dark Blue with light purple veins. The light blue area of his face would be grey with a painted mustache, while his eyes are red. Human hands would be brown. His slacks would be khaki. 

The next two are rather obvious: Human BaxterS. Yes plural. While they will share some parts, others will be different:

Both Baxters will share some Body parts with Vernon. The Digital Base body would be the same. Further mods to the torso and crotch would differentiate the three. 

TOON INSPIRED Baxter (Human):

Vernon body as a base. Crotch overlay has no suspenders. Torso is a button up shirt with a bow tie and a sculpted purple vest (foreshadowing) 

Heads:

-Season 1 Baxter with slightly yellowish orange hair and a meek expression

-Season 2 Baxter with fly Baxter orange hair and a more deranged expression

-Cronenbergesque mid mutation head.

 Accessories

Tools

Mouser head without the top sensor in order to 

Have Baxter work on the Mouser

Handgun

Eye of sarnath tracker

MIRAGE INSPIRED Baxter (Human):

Vernon body as a base. Crotch overlay has  suspenders. Torso is a button up shirt with a bow tie.

Heads:

-Normal Mirage inspired head.

-Deranged Mirage inspired head

-Cronenbergesque mid mutation head (so the black fly Baxter makes sense)

 Accessories

Tools

Mouser head without the top sensor in order to 

Have Baxter work on the Mouser

Handgun

Rextab building model

As you can see, Mirage Baxter is not exactly a repaint, but it's a stinkor/mekaneck situation.

Now I'll use a Mirage version of Baxter, but make it Playmates-esque:

Baxter Stockbot:

This is Loosely, and I mean VERY LOOSELY inspired by the Robotic Baxter Stockman from Mirage. It would be modified to have a removable le cover to reveal Baxter's head in a jar. The jar would have 4 interchangeable headplates.

(Toon Human Baxter, Mirage Human Baxter, Fly Baxter, Just the brain) The liquid holding the head would be translucent and create a Green tinted look for each head. 

The body would be made by combining the limbs of Robotic Bebop and Rocksteady with a new Torso/"head". This would mean the figure would have slightly more limited articulation than standard figures as the Robotic Bebop and Rocksteady have slightly limited articulation.

A second set of arms and wings could be plugged on the back to tie to the Fly Baxter Motif.

Now I'm going full Playmates here:

Buzzin' Baxter Stockman:

In the vintage line, this would've been a "Wacky action" Figure with the knob being his bowtie being looser on his neck in order for it to have a spinning feature. (Ties would be interchangeable in Ultimates) His new Torso sculpt would also be more Toon inspired.

Heads:

Caucasian Baxter fly head

African American Baxter fly head

Accessories

Mouser

Turtles in time Blaster with effect

Spinning bowtie

Non spinning bowtie

Baxter's Hoverchair: (Arcade inspired)

While Not Baxter Per se, its Accessories will include Baxter heads. This $75 item is based on the Arcade game. It's a hover chair. The price is 

Due to the Mousers and the size of the chair.

Heads:

Neutral Season 2 Baxter head

Deranged Season 1 Baxter headl

Accessories:

3 Mousers

Jet effects

Flight stand

I won't try to go the silly variant route for Baxter, as I covered most of the possible variations. Including a few Playmates-esque ones.

MVC Collection: thoughts:

 I got the Marvel vs Capcom arcade collection. I have thoughts:

I shall go through each game:

The Punisher:

Decent Beat-em' up game. Capcom didn't half ass things. They have different sprites for anick Fury facing left and right. That was a pleasant surprise. The gunplay dynamic was unorthodox, but it works for Punisher.

X-MEN Children of the Atom:

Fuck this game with a rusty spoon. Even on the easiest difficulty Magneto has more SNK Boss Syndrome than actual SNK bosses. But it's not just Magneto. Pretty much every character is cheaper than a Black Friday at the Dollar Store... Seriously, This game is trying to take quarters from me even in Free play!

Marvel Superheroes:

Finally, we're back to manageable games. The game isn't as cheap as its predecessor and we have Spider-Man. The Gem gimmick was functional and it worked for the game's storyline. This brings back memories.

X-Men vs Street Fighter:

Akuma being a tease in Children of the Atom brought forth this crossover. The tag team  battle gimmick became a staple for the series after this game. Out of all the games in the series this was the second easiest to beat.

Marvel Superheroes vs Street Fighter:

Fuck Cyber Akuma with a spike studded dildo. Game is "beatable" but fuck Cyber Akuma. Fuck hin in the ass with a spike studded dildo... a rusty spike studded dildo. Cyber Akuma should die of Tetanus. Other than that, this is X-Men vs Street Fighter but the X-Men have been reduced to 2 and Omega Red. The rest are Characters from Marvel Superheroes.

Marvel vs Capcom:

"Know my name and fear it. I am Onslaught!" Back in high school we said that phrase differently... " Now you are my bitch, I am Onslaught!" Mainly because Onslaught was COTA Magneto in Steroids! This is the most SNK Capcom has gotten with a character suffering of Chronic SNK Boss Syndrome. Here Capcom was beginning to get lazy. Morrigan deserved new sprites. 

Marvel vs Capcom 2:

Weird music selection. Holy shit so many characters. But seriously, the music is perfect background music for parties, not fighting games. Also Fp, fp,fp,fp,fp,fp Hyper viper beam. 

My only complaint about the game is that it has no endings. There's no real point of playing this game in single player mode.

Honestly, The fact that I can legally play Marvel VS Capcom 2, Marvel Superheroes, X-Men VS Street Fighter,  and Marvel Superheroes VS Street Fighter with arcade perfect ports makes it worthwhile.

Top 20 most wanted Marvel Legends:

 December revealed some cool Marvel Legends and a fucking Savage Land Xavier exclusive to Target. Hoverchair demands Savage Land Xavier. It also revealed 90s Kaine, TAS Chameleon, and Spider-Man Unlimited. For the X-Men, AoA Gambit, MVC Marrow and a Holocaust BAF.

Rumors mention that 2025 will have more MVC nods from the Marvel Side. I also forgot the Walmart exclusive.

Sadly, no Nick Hammond alt. Head... but TAS Peter makes a decent substitute.

So without further ado, here's my top 20 Most wanted ML list excluding the Power Pack... and Ducktits from Howard the Duck.

20: David Banner and Hulk 2 pack:

Of course I mean Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno.

19: Symbiote Peter aka Bully Maguire:

With special storefront backdrop diorama:

The new parts will be the diorama and emo Pete head. They pretty much git everything else covered.

18: Dolph Lundgren Punisher:

Everyone remember Thomas Jane, or the guy from Warzone, but most people forget that He-Man Drago himself was also Frank Castle.

17: Nic Cage Ghost Rider:

Essentially a Johnny Blaze figure with Cage's likeness with 3 Blaze heads (normal, crazy, crazy on fire) skull head and flamethrower effect.

16: Void Gambit:

After his shitty Duke, Magic Mike finally redeemed himself here and is now bloated gambit... which we love, but not enough to get a whole canonical movie.

15: Rogue vs Ms.Marvel: (TAS):

First don't make this a Target exclusive.

Then Basically have Rogue in the outfit she had on the X-Men cartoon when she sucked Ms.Marvel.

Give Rogue 2 heads:

Devious smile, scared.

Alternate purple hands

Carol gets 2 heads:

Neutral translucent purple head showing pain (hair is normal and the head has painted details. Such as eye, mask, and mouth.)

14: Felicia Hardy and J Jonah Jameson: (TAS)

Essentially the Felicia Hardy we were robbed of when Hasbro made Morbius. A Cartoon Accurate JJJ is what we need, since the last JJJ we got was comic accurate.

13: Curt Connors and Debra Whitman: (TAS)

The Neogenic Recombinator is an accessory that will bump up the price a little and is the TAS Carrot. 

Deb has two heads:

Neutral and afraid

Alternate hands

Connors has 3 heads: Neutral, angry, turning to lizard

Alt hands, and mutating into Lizard hands

Interchangeable right arms:

Stump, regrown arm

12: Man-Spider vs Calypso: (TAS)

Man-Spider is an all new body with alternate hands and acid spit accessory.

Calypso gets an alternate Dr Crawford head

Alternate hands (c-grips)

Kraven serum

11: Generation X Emma Frost:

Comic book version not the TV Movie version. Essentially the Hellfire Club figure with a blazer instead of her cape.

10: Slingers 4 Pack:  (Identity Crisis):

4 Peter Parkers... not the others who adopt these identities:

Using the Renew your Vows body as a refetencee for engineering/articulation and sculpt (size) Prodigy NEEDS second head without the fake nose. 

9: Banshee: (Classic Outfit):

We already have most of the pieces to make a classic Banshee. So, give us a Green and Yellow Banshee to make us forget the ToyBiz to Hasbro transitional wave 1 abomination.

8: COTA Sentinel:

Hasbro said more MVC styled stuff, well...

7: Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD: (THE HOFF):

As You may have guessed, I'm asking for the tv movie version of Nick Fury played by David Hasselhoff. Mostly because I Want a David Hasselhoff action figure.

6: Santa Claus: 

In the Marvel Universe, Santa is a Mutant, so that makes him an X-Men character. He has also worn the Infinity Gauntlet. Pack him up with Deadpool as a reference to that comic.

5: Monster Ock: (Spider-Man 2000):

Hasbro has looked at videogames for inspiration, 2000's Spider-Man for PS1 and Dreamcast gave us Monster Ock, a Carnage and Doc Ock fusion. Hell, make it a two pack with:

 Tony Hawk disguised as Spider-Man. Reuse Pizza Spidey with new feet and kneepads give him the Night Thrasher skateboard, soft good shorts, a hat, two new heads: 

Tony Hawk, and a Halloween Spidey costume head.

4: Fastforward:

A Marvel Legends Buried Alien would be nice to pit against Quicksilver and Makkari. 

3: Carrion:

We have almost all the Maximum Carnage Characters... except him.

2: Feral Wolverine:

Wolverine with bone claws, Blue bandana, and fingerless gloves.

1: Uncle Ben and Spider-Carnage: (TAS):

We have Aunt May, so let's bring Uncle Ben

Added Spider-Carnage just because the pairing makes toon sense.

Snake Plissken is Santa Claus

 The Christmas Chronicles... how did I miss out on this!?

Of course, that's what my brain sees. Snake Plissken as Santa Claus. Not gonna lie. I would love to have a Kurt Russell, as Santa figure and Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus. 

But before I go on an action figure tirade, I should give a brief synopsis of the movie:

Family movie, dead parent, rebellious teenage son, kid daughter who still believes in Santa, she blackmails brother into waiting for Santa, they catch Santa, Shenanigans ensue, Christmas is in danger now Plissken Claus and the two children have to save Christmas.

It surely beats The Santa Clause trilogy by having Plissken as Santa and Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus. 

Movie is on Netflix if you're inclined to watch. There's a sequel, which I need to see.

But seriously, Super7, NECA, 7" Kurt Russell Santa... while we're at it, NECA, Escape from New York/LA articulated figures, when?

A few days ago, I saw Las Super Estrellas de la Lucha Libre

 It was a docudrama telling the story of the World Wrestling Council (formerly Capitol Sports Promotion) and its rise in popularity in Puerto Rico. My Mom and stepdad were friends with some of these Wrestlers and we've had some interactions with some of them in the past. Again, back then I was a child and these interactions were After the Death of Bruiser Brody. Movie triggered some forgotten memories, but they're not important here.

I was pleasantly surprised with the movie, as it felt like a real movie and not the standard Puerto Rican movie that are as series of product placement commercials with some semblance of plot barely weaved into the commercials.

The Narrator of the movie is TNT whose current Stage name is Savio Vega. This is his story as he rose to the top of the WWC and his eventual departure.

Story B deals with Carlos Colón and his struggles to make Capitol Sports Promotion work alongside Victor Jovica. The movie paints Colón in a less than stellar light.

Story C deals with The Invader#1... the guy who was accused of killing Bruiser Brody. Mom believed he DID kill Brody, but speculations without evidence are easily dismissed.

Story D deals with Hugo Savinovich... ¡Atángana! and his drug problems. 

The movie does a really great job of weaving all four plot lines into a cohesive story. Fun fact: I was studying Dramatic arts roughly around the same time as Juan Pablo Diaz (he played TNT in the movie and did a lot of behind the scenes stuff.) IIRC we shared one unrelated class, but I had seen him perform on a few plays in campus. He was amazing as Caliban in The Tempest, under the late Dean Zayas direction. I'm glad that he has been able to thrive and improve his skills as an actor. 

But, this wouldn't  be a House of Rants post if I don't  bitch about something:

I found two Anachronisms. They are Toy Related, that's how I noticed.

• There's a scene with kids playing Connect four. Supposedly in the 80s. They were using a modern connect 4 wirh the custom made chips in red and yellow and not the generic checkers pieces in red and black as it was in the 80s.
• In 1996 Christmas hits the Carlos Colón household. One of his kids gets a MOTU ORIGINS 2002 He-Man. This is an impossibility as there was no MOTU product made by Mattel in 1996 AND how can 2002 He-Man be available in 1996. When the film was filmed Playmates had already released Multiple retro TMNT toys, which would've made sense to receive in 1996 as the vintage TMNT line ended In 1997.

That's my main Nitpick with the movie.

Zack Snyder is now selling BOWLS

 As in the deep plates where people put stuff to eat. Part of me wants to mock Hack Snydurr for it.

Sure I debated to do this for a month, but I wasn't going to break the Advent Calendar/Toycember just to mock the genius behind the Failure of the Dead and the dead universe known as Rebel Moo.

So, in order to stay relevant, Hacky Poo is not making handmade bowls like some loser trying an Etsy shit side hustle. Going from the "acclaimed director" of 300 to "selling bowls on etsy" is a massive fall from grace.

It came from the Toy Chest: My Flipshot Rat Kong Dreams have been dashed.

 

Curse the new Freakishly Large Peg holes and oversized noggin. Well, I got my two Rat Kings: Vintage looking and Bishie Rat King. 

Rat King is a crazed hobo who's obsessed with rats. One of his many origins have him as a mental patient who escaped custody and lived in a swamp until he was driven off. He got killed by the Turtles in an awkward blurred lines between who's right and who's not.

The cartoon origin has him as a misanthrope who wants to take over the world in the name of rats.

In some versions he's got a mystic origin.

My plan was to have 3 Rat Kings:

-The Mystic Rat Avatar

-The Misanthrope 

-The son of the Avatar

Hobo: You're Tearing me apart, Lisa!
Bishie: Really, The Room?

Articulation:

Rat King doesn't have that much articulation. This is because Ultimates have less articulation than most figures in that scale. Surprisingly, the rats do not block any of it. 

4.5

Chinese sweatshop worker, why u no paint stitches?

Paint and sculpt:

They did Sexy Boy Dirty. I mean his face is painted to look dirty. Deranged Hobo is looking fine though.  Parton me is considering restarting the Rat King Tres Plan by modifying the vanilla Hobo head with greenstuff or any modeling epoxy  to fill the tooth gap and plug some new hair and make the "Toon inspired Rat King" slight repaint of the eyes and boom.

My main gripe would be the unpainted stitches. It was a pain, but I painted them.

4.5

I ended up making my own Crossbow. Will repaint Rat later.

Accessories:

Cat sash.

Hobo: Why does this Flute smell like fish?
Irma VO: My bad! I used your flolute to scratch my lady bits!

Flute

Has Scepter but cannot hold it in hands.
Even the Masturbating Kojima/Flute playing hands can't hold the scepter.

Scepter

Knife

Crappy Rat Grappling hook 

Why u no string, Rat tail?

2 heads and be careful switching them. Sexy Boy pulls out neck barbells. 

6 extra hands

By amount it gets a 5.0 but doesn't deserve it.

Overall 

Rat King gets a 4.67 as his final score. Don't get me wrong. He's a great figure, but he could have been a bit better... I understand that they were trying to be different from playmates with the accessories., but this Rat King is lacking RATS! SUPER7 should consider making a Rat King themed Accessory pack full of rats and maybe a few extras like 2 fedora heads (Hobo amd Bishie) and a trenchcoat for his red sky look.

Maybe make a new toon inspired Bandolier 

Something like this but more Hobo looking.

I can't believe I miss the vintage belt now...

Honestly, I still think there may be a chance for RK Mk3.

2025... Holy crap! New year, same bullshit!

 A new year and still lots of stuff to rant about. Hopefully GTA 6 will be worth it. Hopefully, we'll have a close to complete JADA Street Fighter release schedule. Hopefully Super7 will reveal Ultimates Shipwreck as the line seems to be slowing down to a crawl... But if Shipwreck gets made, please add the snow coat from the running away from home PSA. That is very similar to the Transformers PSA with Bumblebee being Shipwreck. Sadly, I couldn't find a Jem counterpart. Speaking of Jem will the 2025 Jem Ultimates Rumor be confirmed?

Mattel is being a pain in the ass. I can't find MOTU ANYWHERE. Especially Walmart. No Turtles of grayskull, no masterverse, no origins... I can find WWE figures easily. My interest in MOTU is waning. I do have one or two items planned for the Advent Calendar 2025. One might be a Masterverse and the other is most likely an Origins figure... If I can find them.

I suppose that once again Turtles will occupy the place that He-Man once owned here at the House of rants.

Hurry up Konami, I want to fight The End in HD... I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty

I've got guns and and ammo galore

You want tsuchinokos?

I've got twenty!

But who cares?

No big deal

I want more...

There you got an EVA is The Little Mermaid reference. 

August 19th is the sweet sixteenth birthday of this blog. 

On a worse note... that would mean come October it's 10 years since I've been dead inside. But let's hope James Gunn's Superman does well.